Being Ridiculed for my virginity

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TheAristocat

Senior Member
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
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#21
I get really frustrated when people question my personal values when they have no room to talk themselves. My sister is sexually active with her fiancé and she was ridiculing me for maintaining my innocence until I am married. I believe my virginity is the greatest gift I can give my future husband on my wedding night. I guess the reason I got so frustrated is because the person who did that is my sister and we both were raised not to question values that we feel strongly about. I don't know what to do. Help?
In my experience it's been the habit of many people to turn on the source of their guilty conscience and demonize them so they don't have to own up to their own faults. She's probably jealous on some level.
 
4

4Hizcall

Guest
#22
I also have struggled with ridicule concerning my virginity. However, I tend to look at it differently and say 'they're just jealous cuz I still have something they don't.'
 
Aug 27, 2005
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#23
Not sure if you're still checking back and reading the responses.. But I wanted to say that it's awesome that you're waiting! My husband and I were both virgins until after we got married and it is a blessing! It's so nice to not wonder if you were "good enough" in comparison to others they've been with and to just have no sexual baggage! Definitely don't let it get to you... You've got something that she no longer has and that probably makes her a little jealous! Keep it up! Your husband will appreciate it!
 

mystdancer50

Senior Member
Feb 26, 2012
2,522
50
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#24
I, too, am waiting for marriage and I do not regret it at all.

I have had friends that didn't wait and family that didn't wait. Though I've never been mocked or pressured, I have had those moments when my friends have been honest about the cost that came from not waiting...then turn around and say, "Well, one day you'll meet at guy that..." blah, blah, blah.

I had one friend that told me, "You sound just like so and so," when I expressed my desire to wait and 'so and so' did not wait. They were essentially saying that I will eventually sleep with someone outside of marriage.

But, I am not like these others. My devotion and love for Christ is greater than the desires of this world. Establish your boundaries now, set up your parameters, and prepare for the day when you do meet the one, so you can maintain your purity until marriage. Some can see the finish line and then falter and give in, sometimes days before the wedding, due to a lack of boundaries.

I have been called to radical purity by God, so extreme that most can't comprehend it, and sometimes it feels a bit overwhelming to stand when others around you aren't. But remember that you are not alone in your values and remember, also, that we are called to be different from this world, so the fact that you are not blending in or doing as your sister is a good thing.

Next time she tells you something regarding this, look her right in the eye and tell her, "Sis, this is what I believe and what I stand for. If you can't respect my decision to wait, that's fine, but don't bother trying to change my mind. I believe sexual intimacy is for marriage alone and so that is what I am saving my first sexual experience for." And, if possible, leave the room. Seriously. Don't let her get you into a debate or argument...unless you're like me and love debating. Then, gather your arsenal of Scripture, put on your armor and go to war! :)
 
K

Kings_Rorschach

Guest
#25
I salute you, cmarieh and the other brothers and sisters in Christ for standing firm and being obedient to the call for purity. I think you are making an excellent choice by waiting until marriage.

I think of fruit whenever i think of sex( i know that's a bit eerie but hear me out):

The best kind of fruit is the one that is ripest. You never forget the first time you tried that fruit and once you do, it was worth the wait. Many people who have premarital sex settle for the unripened or spoiled fruit and they never will be able to experience the sexual intimacy which our Father intended because they let lust take the reins rather than Jesus reigning in their brains!

Keep placing God first in all that you do and He promises that you will only get His best, and it will be worth the wait!
 
T

TheBlackRider

Guest
#26
I get really frustrated when people question my personal values when they have no room to talk themselves. My sister is sexually active with her fiancé and she was ridiculing me for maintaining my innocence until I am married. I believe my virginity is the greatest gift I can give my future husband on my wedding night. I guess the reason I got so frustrated is because the person who did that is my sister and we both were raised not to question values that we feel strongly about. I don't know what to do. Help?
There is nothing much you can do for your sister...just keep praying for her and remember that it's NEVER about what others may think of you. It's about what God thinks of you.

Your virginity is one of the greatest things you can give your future husband. Be proud of it---there are fewer and fewer out there who still have theirs!
You can keep praying and growing in Christ. Find a new love for Him every single day of your life! During your single years, He IS your groom! He is the center (or should be) of your life. <33
Remember. It's not about how you feel, it's about what God feels. Its not about what you think, it's about what God thinks. It's not about others or even ourselves. It's about God. And God hates sin and loves the sinner. Love your sister...but keep yourself pure for the One who created you.

In Christ Alone,
TheBlackRider
 
Aug 6, 2013
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#27
Sister,
God will bless you with many blessings for waiting. I can truly testify to this because there has been a lot of pain and hurt in my life because I did not wait until marriage to give up my virginity. I am blessed to have a woman in my life who will not judge me for not being a virgin. I am not saying don't not be a virgin what i am saying is you will be ridiculed no matter what but if you are lucky you will find someone who really wants you in their life no matter what.
 
S

snickers9295

Guest
#28
I myself get ridiculed for still keeping my virginity but I can honestly say alot of people have told me they wish they were like me and kept it, you never know you could have friends that envy you about it but the main thing is be proud that you kept it. It was a gift God created to give to the person you marry.
 

Kreation

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2013
169
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#29
This kind of thing just infuriates me. I made the dumb choice of sacrificing my virginity to someone who betrayed me and destroyed my life... Now I'll never be able to give it to the one... I feel so disgusting and dirty about it, I was so dumb.

Don't you dare listen to your sister! Be proud of what you have and what you stand for! You don't realize how precious it is until it's gone, and once it's gone, you can't get it back. You're tainted for life... Just ask me. The idiot who gave it up for a non-believing cheater...

The BEAUTIFUL thing about Christ and forgiveness is having the opportunity to wipe your slate clean!


smiley face.jpg




God bless!
 

ChosenbyHim

Senior Member
Sep 19, 2011
3,343
113
63
#30
I get really frustrated when people question my personal values when they have no room to talk themselves. My sister is sexually active with her fiancé and she was ridiculing me for maintaining my innocence until I am married. I believe my virginity is the greatest gift I can give my future husband on my wedding night. I guess the reason I got so frustrated is because the person who did that is my sister and we both were raised not to question values that we feel strongly about. I don't know what to do. Help?

Hi there Cmarieh, just continue to do the right thing. Serve the Lord and keep yourself pure.

And pay no mind to the mockers and scoffers. Just focus on the Lord and His word. And continue to please the Lord by following His word.


1 Corinthians 6:18-20 KJV
Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. [19] What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? [20] For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.


2 Timothy 2:22 KJV
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#31
Keep it up. Fight the good fight.

Can't say I have been ridiculed, but people know and it's a great testimony of your reliance on God. The light of righteousness hurts eyes accustomed to a dark room.
 
W

woka

Guest
#32
I agree with Jordache, for me it is also the fact that your sister lives with the guilt of the decision she made to be active before marriage, it does bother her that you are saving yourself. Honestly the best is to pray for her, and to not let what people say upset you, we as people can be so hurtful at times, and honestly do not realise the impact of our word's.

You might want to sit her down and tell her how she has made you feel, if you think this will help at all.
 
Dec 25, 2009
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#33
I'm surprised that so many people are getting ridiculed over not losing their virginity. I have yet to experience that kind of teasing.
 

TheAristocat

Senior Member
Oct 4, 2011
2,150
26
0
#34
I'm surprised that so many people are getting ridiculed over not losing their virginity. I have yet to experience that kind of teasing.
People ridicule for different reasons. Virginity or not, you're always open to ridicule and scorn. Depends on the situation. That's my uplifting news for the day.