I have a question to all the single christians

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Skyelover

Guest
#1
#1
When you pray for the right future partner and marriage, how do you know if the person is the one that God chooses and provides for you?Do you pray for specific qualities? Do you ask for some signs? Does God bring only one person to your life at a time or several people when you are looking for the right one?
 
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Meridoc

Guest
#2
#2
I know for me I have 2 lists, one must haves and the other must not haves. I do look to see if God seems to be opening the door to a possible relationship as well.
 
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Skyelover

Guest
#3
#3
Can you please explain or give examples when you share your opinions?? That way people can understand more clearly.Thank you!
 
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Meridoc

Guest
#4
#4
sure,

examples of must haves: must be a christian, must have a good sense of humour

examples of must nots: must not smoke, must not do drugs, must not be shorter than 5'2"(I am almost 6'3 feels weird to date someone too short)
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Skyelover

Guest
#5
#5
I know what you mean~~ I always put " Christian" for the first priority when I am looking for the person. But, the rest of qualities: a good sense of humour, good tempers, have good relationship with God, Caring/Loving, responsible, family oriented.... Those are what you hope and want not necessary what God plans in your marriage, right?? Of course, there are Christian everywhere. What make one of them so special and stand out?
 
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Meridoc

Guest
#6
#6
well alot of those things that you put in the category of what you hope for could make or break your relationships, so make sure you know what you need. For me someone with a good sense of humour(especially someone who gets my humour) is a requirement for me not just a want. Couldn't deal without that.
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#7
#7
For me, I go farther to say he must be a STRONG Christian.

I've almost fallen into the trap of dating someone who was saved but he was not at the level in their walk with Christ as I was. And I don't say that in judgement towards him, or in pride on my side. That's not the case at all.

The Bible tells us not the be unequally yoked, and I take this deeper than most because God has convicted me about it.
The Bible also says that the man is supposed to be the head of the household. I take this as Spiritual head as well. God has showed me I need someone who's STRONGER in the Lord than I am, so that He can lead me. I don't want to be in a relationship where I can't fully rely on my husband to help me with spiritual attacks and everything else I struggle with in my walk. I will be able to help him as well, but I want the comfort of being under his wing. I believe that's the way it should be. :)
 
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Meridoc

Guest
#8
#8
yea rissa I can say from experience on that one I got married to a girl who had just become a christian and shortly after she stopped going to church and I let myself be dragged down that road with her. I have found that the weaker christian will more often bring down the strong christian than the other way around.
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#9
#9
agreed. yea and i would also make sure i wasn't the one bringing him down either.

i have to think of it in relation to a triangle. God is at the top and the couple is at the bottom. the closer they get to God, the closer to each other. the closer just one gets to God, the farther they get from each other.
 
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Skyelover

Guest
#10
#10
Rissa, That is so true! I agree with you. I think I would look for a christian who is saved by God, his life is changed, and follow the Lord, Walk on the path with God. Also, he would be able to be the head of the house and lead our marriage and family. I will be the person who support him and be the best helper in his life.
 
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Skyelover

Guest
#11
#11
However, I heard so many of my friends in my church and even pastors and my own parents that they knew right away they meant to be together. Some said God talked to them and they know "He is the one or She is the one." They told me they knew right away that they will get married and become life partners. I always have questions on that. I mean God talks to me in so many different ways. Although, I had some relationships before, I have never experienced that. I guess those who never see and experience and believe in God and have faith in him, God will provide the best for them. They said they asked for three signs, and all got answered. That's why they are so sure about each other. I do not know what you think, but, they all have happy and blessing marriage so far. What do you think?
 
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star_gazer

Guest
#12
#12
Well, at this point I have thrown my lists out the window. I have given up on the idea of meeting an ideal guy. I figure God knows what I want. I refuse to go out dating anymore. I loath the whole dating thing. Who thought that up anyway. I guess if it happens it happens. I am not going to keep worrying about it.
 
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Skyelover

Guest
#13
#13
[Proverbs 16:9] In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.
So, Yes! We do need to relay on Our Lord, and let the God lead out steps. But, I think we also need to acturally plan the courses. God will take away your burden, but, as a human we need to step out and God will take the lead. We are not talking about the ideal guy here. We are talking about a life time partner or potential future husband/wife. God knows what you want, but, God will not always give you "what you want." God brings two people together to better and complete each other. God has his own plan in everyone's life. Yes! when time is right and the person is right, I will open my heart. I don't like to keep dating different people. I also feel tired of people come in and out of my life. Bu, yea! I pray everyday!
 
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star_gazer

Guest
#14
#14
I am pretty dense.. God will probably have to bonk me on the head and thunk me a couple of times with a billbaord that says: this is the right one for you!

yeah.. sad but true...
 
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Meridoc

Guest
#15
#15
star_gazer said:
I am pretty dense.. God will probably have to bonk me on the head and thunk me a couple of times with a billbaord that says: this is the right one for you!

yeah.. sad but true...
Click to expand...
I totally feel that way :p
 
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Rissa77

Guest
#16
#16
lol star_gazer, i find that to be a healthy standpoint, not a sad one.

i pray for that. i pray that i will be so lost in God that when the man finally comes, God will have to smack me or bonk me to get my attention. i want to be so focused on everything else God is saying, that it doesn't even cross my mind that "he could be the one". and i pray the same for my spouse - that i am not a distraction to him, and that God will have to bonk him in order to tell him it's time and i'm the one to pursue.
 
grace

grace

Senior Member
#17
Sep 8, 2006
1,064
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#17
Meridoc said:
I totally feel that way :p
Click to expand...

I shared this story once in the chat....but worth shareing again since you made that comment :)

My youth group did a dating forum thingy once where we could ask questiond of a few marred couples etc..

one person asked out youth pastor how he knew Darlene was the one for him.


He went on to say that they had been dating for over a year and he KNEW she was ready to get married. (guys, mental note here.....she will almost always be ready before you will..lol)
He was feeling a bit insecure about finances, and all that sort of logical stuff.

He had been feeling very overwhelmed by the whole thing. He did not want to be rushed into something that he may not be ready for...nor did he want to wait and possibly lose Darlene.

They went for a hike one day and stopped at an overlook. Dave was VERY taken with Gods beauty in nature....and just stood there and silently prayed..*God!!!!...I DO NOT know what to do! I feel just crazy about this situation. If Darlene is the woman for me....and you want me to marry her then you better just hit me over the head or something because I am just not hearing from you!*

......10 seconds later a tree branch fell out of the tree right onto his head. :)

The next day he went and bought a ring and proposed. :)
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#18
Aug 2, 2009
24,644
4,305
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#18
I simply pray with my heart. I don't get into specifics, I ask the Lord to look at my sorrowful heart and to please send me a companion because there is a huge hole in my heart for someone and I trust the Lord's judgement and do not dare question His choice for me. How can the maker of the universe not know what's best for me? He knows me better than I know me. Also, I do my best to accept the fact that maybe it is not part of His will for me. I am learning to accept that but still have hope that He will bring a woman into my life.

As far as knowing who this person is, I ask the Lord to literally beat me over the head with a sign or make this person really let me know they are interested because I am terribly shy and know that I will miss the opportunity if I have to initiate a relationship. I remind Him that I can do nothing without Him..just as Moses told the Lord that he was a horrible stutterer and could not deliver His messages to the pharoah.
 
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Skyelover

Guest
#19
#19
When we put God in the first place in our life, everythin will be given to us. Amen!
 
Sharp

Sharp

Senior Member
#20
May 5, 2009
2,568
20
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#20
Rissa77 said:
agreed. yea and i would also make sure i wasn't the one bringing him down either.

i have to think of it in relation to a triangle. God is at the top and the couple is at the bottom. the closer they get to God, the closer to each other. the closer just one gets to God, the farther they get from each other.
Click to expand...
I just spent 5 minutes drawing triangles and have concluded that this would only apply for an isoceles triangle. I have no further input.
 
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