I have a question about marriage

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seekingthetruth

Guest
#1
#1
Does anybody know if anywhere in the bible it is mentioned that living together with your partner without being married is a sin? To clarify I have been together with my boyfriend for 9 years, we have 2 little girls together and he has been a father to my teenage girl since she was 6. We own a house together, a vehicle, a business. We love each other, respect ea. other, we r not perfect but it is a good relationship. Yet everytime we discuss marriage our reason for dismissal is lack of money and witnesses. He says he wants to and I say I want to but the question is are we sinning? Are we already considered married in God's eyes? Do we have to marry in a church? I feel so blessed for the little home I have been given that I feel I need to do anything to show how gratefull I am and I don't want to ruin things.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Sorry, acting married doesn't make you married.
If that were the case then anyone who has ever lived with a partner and has broken up is actually divorced. Living together is to marriage what masturbation is to sex. It may feel similar, but at the core they are not the same.
There is the 'appearance of evil' aspect.
And if you say you're married, when you are not, in reality, then you lie to cover up the appearance of evil.
Also we are told to flee from sin, yet you have indulged in sin for 9 years.

I'm sure it's not the answer you wanted to hear. And i'm not putting you down, just being honest. Some people will disagree, but there are always people looking for loopholes to justify sin.
 
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overcomer2

Guest
#3
#3
I can relate to this topic. I lived with my husband before we were married and then I got saved. So, I was at work talking with the president's wife and she asks me well are you married? I say no I live with my boyfriend. She says, "Oh, your living in sin." Since I had just been saved I realized the truth to this. We were married immediately. I will always be thankful for this woman and her boldness to lead me in the right way. I hope this helps. But sex without being married is fornication. Its adultery if your having sex and married to someone else.
 
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seekingthetruth

Guest
#4
#4
Thank you for pointing out that I have been living in denial. I want to get closer to God therefore I will do what is right.
 
K

kenisyes

Guest
#5
#5
You are married in God's eyes when you exchange permanent vows with each other. Churches and judges have nothing to do with it. The real question here is why are you avoiding getting the paperwork to reflect the truth? The reason he gives may be acceptable for a few days, but not for 9 years. Maybe there is another reason.

Actually I suspect I know what the reason is, as many people change when they say they are married, and he is afraid you or he will do so. I can understand that fear at age 25, but not at 35. If that is true, then get some counselling as to why he feels that way, and fix it so you guys can live the fuller life, with the title reflecting genuine maturity also.
 
J

Jeshuvan

Pastor
Staff member
#6
Apr 15, 2012
221
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#6
clearly u r in sin and u also know it.God Bless u both,Go do it the right way=Gods way
 
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MidniteWelder

Guest
#7
#7
Actually you are married in Gods eyes
denying it dont make it untrue
you just havent professed being married to the public yet
its like a girl that has promiscuous sex with anybody that will accept her
She can deny all she wants that she's not a whore
(BTW not calling you that just using the extreme example of the opposite of marriage)
But her own opinion dont make it so
Its Gods opinion that makes it so.
Claiming the rights only reserved for marriage without considering oneself married is what makes one a whore.
Be it a man or a woman.
People dont get married to be approved of or to please the public
The commitment toward one another is in the heart
Just as our commitment to join to God is in the heart.

Marriage is the joining of two things be definition.
Two becoming one flesh cannot be denied even if neither of their hearts are in it to justify sin.
Marriage as a covenant to God though may be what you're still lacking.
If both of you have professed lifelong commitment toward one another then you are married in Gods eyes.
A piece of paper just like our money, only states what you have already professed from the heart to please man.
Its the covenant and the promise contained from within your spirit that makes the dedication true and binding.
 
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Alicia

Guest
#8
#8
A wedding does not have to cost a lot of money. You can go to your Minister and ask that he marry you quietly, I'm sure you could find one witness or your Minister could help. Marriage does give a sense of security and peace when you officially commit to each other and since there are children in this situation I would strongly recommend it. Yes the Bible does say that fornication is a sin. You asked about that but in no way am I judging you please understand that.
 
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Blackson

Guest
#9
#9
seekingthetruth said:
Does anybody know if anywhere in the bible it is mentioned that living together with your partner without being married is a sin? To clarify I have been together with my boyfriend for 9 years, we have 2 little girls together and he has been a father to my teenage girl since she was 6. We own a house together, a vehicle, a business. We love each other, respect ea. other, we r not perfect but it is a good relationship. Yet everytime we discuss marriage our reason for dismissal is lack of money and witnesses. He says he wants to and I say I want to but the question is are we sinning? Are we already considered married in God's eyes? Do we have to marry in a church? I feel so blessed for the little home I have been given that I feel I need to do anything to show how gratefull I am and I don't want to ruin things.
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Marriage is honourable, and the bed undefiled....Hebrews 12: 4. Sex outside marriage is sin. The sin here is between you and your boyfriend, not children. Thus, mentioning of how many children you have together does not count in this matter. What matters here is that you have been committing adultery for 9 years. You may be called mom and dad by your children as my children do to my wife and me (wedded on 28th March 1998 ), but you are not a husband and wife unless you are pronounced so.

There is no excuse of any sort my sister, this is the sole truth I and others are telling you. Sorry for telling you this truth and for being so honest with you. you may not like it, but it will never stop being the truth. I love you my sister because you are humbly going to take a step of faith and repent of this adultery and seek the reconciliation with the Lord before you finally get married.
 
annjho

annjho

Member
#10
Nov 3, 2012
55
0
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#10
God bless you and your family. may God gave you wisdom and direct you unto the right path. :)
 
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phunkyluv

Guest
#11
#11
Honestly you are living in sin cos the both of u are not married.
 
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Chinekwu

Guest
#12
#12
All i can contribute to this is that as a christian,it isn't right. when you are not married to someone but living like that,it's actually fornication and that, according to the word of God is sin.When one gets married, God is also a witness to that union, to those vows. To kinda simplify things a bit, that God would use 'the bride' to describe the body of Christ and 'the Bridegroom' to describe Himself should mean something,right? u know?? :rolleyes::)
What comes to mind now is John 4:18...
God's grace Seekingthetruth
 
SweetShelly35

SweetShelly35

Senior Member
#14
Feb 21, 2012
289
3
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#14

1 Corinthians 7:1-4

English Standard Version (ESV)

Principles for Marriage




Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

I am not judging you at all....I just thought this might help.
xo Shelly


​
 
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Married_Richenbrachen

Guest
#15
#15
MidniteWelder said:
Marriage is the joining of two things be definition.
Two becoming one flesh cannot be denied even if neither of their hearts are in it to justify sin.
Marriage as a covenant to God though may be what you're still lacking.
If both of you have professed lifelong commitment toward one another then you are married in Gods eyes.
A piece of paper just like our money, only states what you have already professed from the heart to please man.
Its the covenant and the promise contained from within your spirit that makes the dedication true and binding.
Click to expand...
I'd add to this a recommendation for witnesses. Not because it's necessary (e.g. Adam and Eve), but so if either one of you denies it later, the witnesses can testify to the truth (God is a witness, but I think He usually waits until Judgement Day to speak). I don't believe you need a state licence or state celebrant to be married, although these do come with state benefits (protections) and state liabilities.
 
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lcerveny

Guest
#16
#16
I would suggest you dig into God's word on this topic. Do not take other people's word on the matter. Ask God to reveal truth to you. People sin with their mouth, lips, body, mind, ect.... no one here I think is qualified to judge your life. Let God convict you of your wrongs not other people. Seek him and you will find him:) Love to you and your family.
 
resurrection33

resurrection33

Banned
#17
Dec 19, 2009
27,513
128
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#17
seekingthetruth said:
Does anybody know if anywhere in the bible it is mentioned that living together with your partner without being married is a sin? To clarify I have been together with my boyfriend for 9 years, we have 2 little girls together and he has been a father to my teenage girl since she was 6. We own a house together, a vehicle, a business. We love each other, respect ea. other, we r not perfect but it is a good relationship. Yet everytime we discuss marriage our reason for dismissal is lack of money and witnesses. He says he wants to and I say I want to but the question is are we sinning? Are we already considered married in God's eyes? Do we have to marry in a church? I feel so blessed for the little home I have been given that I feel I need to do anything to show how gratefull I am and I don't want to ruin things.
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Fornication is a sin:

[20] And he said, "What comes out of a man is what defiles a man.
[21] For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, fornication, theft, murder, adultery,
[22] coveting, wickedness, deceit, licentiousness, envy, slander, pride, foolishness.
[23] All these evil things come from within, and they defile a man." Mark 7:20-23
 
A

Alicia

Guest
#18
#18
Married_Richenbrachen said:
I'd add to this a recommendation for witnesses. Not because it's necessary (e.g. Adam and Eve), but so if either one of you denies it later, the witnesses can testify to the truth (God is a witness, but I think He usually waits until Judgement Day to speak). I don't believe you need a state licence or state celebrant to be married, although these do come with state benefits (protections) and state liabilities.
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As far as I'm aware you have to get a marriage license and a blood test if you want to get married in the US. I was married overseas but everyone I know here has had to get a marriage license, it doesn't cost that much but even if you want a quiet wedding with just you and the Minister you need to get this.
 
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rhinestone

Junior Member
#19
Oct 10, 2013
10
0
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#19
don't know where your getting your information from but your wrong, and shouldn't be giving advice like this.Just because you say your a Doctor doesn't mean your a doctor. The BIBLE speaks about being ordained and seminary which are qualifications to learning and interpretation of the Bible.
 
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Married_Richenbrachen

Guest
#20
#20
Alicia said:
As far as I'm aware you have to get a marriage license and a blood test if you want to get married in the US. I was married overseas but everyone I know here has had to get a marriage license, it doesn't cost that much but even if you want a quiet wedding with just you and the Minister you need to get this.
Click to expand...
The license is with the state, and is usually obtained so the state will recognise the marriage (and therefore enforce the marriage protections or liabilities it upholds). The bible never talks about licensing marriage with a state for it to be recognised by God.
 
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