ladies, I need a little advice!!
- Thread starter jrccomputer
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jr, I'm going to assume that you're talking about yourself. I hope that you've made whatever decisions about college prayerfully, and have peace about going/not going right now. If that's the case, then what does it matter what girls think? Some girls will probably not give you a second look if you don't have a degree. Plenty of girls will focus on more important things than that.
Make your decision about college to please God, because if He's happy with it, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Make your decision about college to please God, because if He's happy with it, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.
Maybe some of them do. But you're not going to marry every woman, you know? 
Do you think the problem here is more what you've seen or heard about girls' reactions, or do you think it's about your own self-esteem? In other words, do you feel like less of a person because you're not going to college?
Do you think the problem here is more what you've seen or heard about girls' reactions, or do you think it's about your own self-esteem? In other words, do you feel like less of a person because you're not going to college?
No I don't feel less by not going to college.
M
My husband dropped out of college and chose not to try going back. I didn't care- I prefer to see him pursue something he's happy doing.
The thing is, if a girl you are interested in is more concerned about your level of education than she is about you, or your faith, or her own faith, or...any number of things that are truly important to you, then she's not the right one for you anyway.
Also, what Pop said. She's a smart cookie, you should listen to her
The thing is, if a girl you are interested in is more concerned about your level of education than she is about you, or your faith, or her own faith, or...any number of things that are truly important to you, then she's not the right one for you anyway.
Also, what Pop said. She's a smart cookie, you should listen to her
My husband dropped out of college and chose not to try going back. I didn't care- I prefer to see him pursue something he's happy doing.
The thing is, if a girl you are interested in is more concerned about your level of education than she is about you, or your faith, or her own faith, or...any number of things that are truly important to you, then she's not the right one for you anyway.
Also, what Pop said. She's a smart cookie, you should listen to her
The thing is, if a girl you are interested in is more concerned about your level of education than she is about you, or your faith, or her own faith, or...any number of things that are truly important to you, then she's not the right one for you anyway.
Also, what Pop said. She's a smart cookie, you should listen to her
Awesome! A lot of girls won't see it that way, either. But that probably still won't help you stop worrying about it. However, this might:
"The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
There's a funny thing about focus. The more you think about something, the more it tends to worry you, and the bigger a problem it becomes in your mind. And the bigger a problem it becomes... the more you think about it! See, there really isn't any problem YET. There's the possibility of a problem, sort of. But since you're worrying about it now, it becomes a problem to you now. So...
Tell God that you're worrying. Tell Him exactly what you're feeling and why. And give Him your request. I'd recommend that your request would be a change of focus, but I'll leave that part up to you. And don't forget the thanksgiving part! Thank Him for something good that you see in the situation. Perhaps thank Him for His guidance and peace about your education decisions. And do this every time you catch yourself worrying... about anything! He can handle our worries, so hand them to Him instead of letting them crush you.
"The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you."
There's a funny thing about focus. The more you think about something, the more it tends to worry you, and the bigger a problem it becomes in your mind. And the bigger a problem it becomes... the more you think about it! See, there really isn't any problem YET. There's the possibility of a problem, sort of. But since you're worrying about it now, it becomes a problem to you now. So...
Tell God that you're worrying. Tell Him exactly what you're feeling and why. And give Him your request. I'd recommend that your request would be a change of focus, but I'll leave that part up to you. And don't forget the thanksgiving part! Thank Him for something good that you see in the situation. Perhaps thank Him for His guidance and peace about your education decisions. And do this every time you catch yourself worrying... about anything! He can handle our worries, so hand them to Him instead of letting them crush you.
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Not having had a high school girlfriend is probably a greater blessing than you realize. I'm not dismissing your feelings, but I think this feeling is another thing that would be helped by asking God to change your focus every time you catch yourself worrying about it.
I truly have given up the search for someone. I give up, and yes I am bitter. I only have so many cheeks to get slapped. I only can stand so much rejection, pain and loss.
100% of my focus is now on God. Sorry I'm angry and bitter, but my situation never gets better. I'm just tired, and weary.
Thanks again for the kind words (walks away, crying softly; while praying)
Ladies, I'm back again and I need some more advice. So here goes:
Is it a big turn off if a guy is not going to college??? If he has a fantastic paying job (as a Computer programmer) and just does not need college.
Is it a turn off if he wants to maybe go to college in the future??
It depends on the woman. It wouldn't bother me. I didn't finish college because I ran out of the money to pay for it. My Husband went to college and never found a job in his field, he's a mail man now. We still have to loans to pay off.
Computer Programming is a well paying solid job. I know someone who does very well as a computer programmer, he never finished college. I think most employers in computer stuff are looking for someone who know's what their doing. Many high schools have computer programming classes.
We have a technical school that offers them and you can get a certificate. College is expensive, I would say if you enjoy what you do and are willing to keep moving forward with that job. And if you have to take some classes to keep up, I wouldn't bother paying a liberal arts, we want your money college. But that's just me.
Is it a big turn off if a guy is not going to college??? If he has a fantastic paying job (as a Computer programmer) and just does not need college.
Is it a turn off if he wants to maybe go to college in the future??
It depends on the woman. It wouldn't bother me. I didn't finish college because I ran out of the money to pay for it. My Husband went to college and never found a job in his field, he's a mail man now. We still have to loans to pay off.
Computer Programming is a well paying solid job. I know someone who does very well as a computer programmer, he never finished college. I think most employers in computer stuff are looking for someone who know's what their doing. Many high schools have computer programming classes.
We have a technical school that offers them and you can get a certificate. College is expensive, I would say if you enjoy what you do and are willing to keep moving forward with that job. And if you have to take some classes to keep up, I wouldn't bother paying a liberal arts, we want your money college. But that's just me.
J
jrccomputer, you have such a beautiful heart. Please guard it carefully. Part of me thinks that you are blessed that you have never dated. I know that loneliness aches, but the pain that comes from a broken heart from making wrong choices is far worse. Trust me.
You are depressed by what you don't have. What you don't realize is that God has protected you from pain that is far worse up to this point. Please continue to trust Him. Please be patient. Please guard that precious heart of yours because my prayer is that you find a lady who loves as purely as you do, who will understand.
Education is great. Seek it if you can. But if any woman's decision to be with you or not be with you is based upon a degree, she is not worth that piece of paper to you.
You are depressed by what you don't have. What you don't realize is that God has protected you from pain that is far worse up to this point. Please continue to trust Him. Please be patient. Please guard that precious heart of yours because my prayer is that you find a lady who loves as purely as you do, who will understand.
Education is great. Seek it if you can. But if any woman's decision to be with you or not be with you is based upon a degree, she is not worth that piece of paper to you.
U
Every woman is different. Asking a small, tiny handful of women what every woman thinks isn't going to be helpful. Some women would have nothing to do with a man without an education, other women couldn't care less. Some women expect a higher lifestyle, while others are content with little.
Why not quit worrying about what 'women' think and do what you want, and be yourself, so that when you meet a woman you aren't being a fake? Then when she likes you she will like YOU not this fake persona you try to make for yourself to trick women into thinking you're someone you're not. Seems to me the attitude here is a bit worldly. 'What can i do to attract as many women as possible?'. As opposed to 'this is who God made me, take me as i am or don't take me at all'.
Why not quit worrying about what 'women' think and do what you want, and be yourself, so that when you meet a woman you aren't being a fake? Then when she likes you she will like YOU not this fake persona you try to make for yourself to trick women into thinking you're someone you're not. Seems to me the attitude here is a bit worldly. 'What can i do to attract as many women as possible?'. As opposed to 'this is who God made me, take me as i am or don't take me at all'.
As several people here have already mentioned, it's really a blessing to have never dated. I was reading an article the other day (a secular article, no less) which said that one of the huge things that keeps people from being happy is their first relationship. People tend to see their first relationship through rose-colored lenses. You feel all these things you've never felt before, and then compare all future relationships to that one. I don't know if that really happened to me, but I definitely know that each consecutive relationship was harder than the last. Waiting is a good thing; I think you'll look back and realize that someday.
As far as your question goes, I know you only asked for girl's opinions but I have some really helpful insight for you. Some girls care about college, some girls don't. But something virtually all girls care about is confidence. What ever you choose; going to college or continuing to program computers, be completely sure of yourself about it. When a girl asks you what college you go to, don't shuffle around words. Simply respond something to the effect of "actually, I'm currently invested in a lucrative career in computer programming".
As far as your question goes, I know you only asked for girl's opinions but I have some really helpful insight for you. Some girls care about college, some girls don't. But something virtually all girls care about is confidence. What ever you choose; going to college or continuing to program computers, be completely sure of yourself about it. When a girl asks you what college you go to, don't shuffle around words. Simply respond something to the effect of "actually, I'm currently invested in a lucrative career in computer programming".
First of all, I fully agree with what everyone else has said so far.
To answer your original question, though, I do not care if a man is going to college or not. An ambitious and hardworking man diligently pursuing work with a specific trade is more appealing to me than a college freshman who spends his time partying because he figures he has at least a few years until he has to really "get serious". I'm NOT saying all college guys are like that, but that's just an example that explains why I don't look down on someone who has chosen not to go to college.
To answer your original question, though, I do not care if a man is going to college or not. An ambitious and hardworking man diligently pursuing work with a specific trade is more appealing to me than a college freshman who spends his time partying because he figures he has at least a few years until he has to really "get serious". I'm NOT saying all college guys are like that, but that's just an example that explains why I don't look down on someone who has chosen not to go to college.
M
Yes! Looking back through my past relationships, I've come to think there is nothing more aggravating or a bigger turn-off than a lazy man who waffles about his future and has no ambition to be responsible. And I don't mean guys who have disabilities, or have been laid off, or can't find work or whatever- but the ones who don't try at anything, and don't care that they aren't trying.
So, college graduate or not, you're unlikely to attract a decent woman if you're not being a man.
So, college graduate or not, you're unlikely to attract a decent woman if you're not being a man.