Well, GOOD FOR YOU! No, seriously.
Now, the problem is you have started off with a question that Christians understand BECAUSE of the indwelling presence of the Holy Spirit. Those who do not have His indwelling presence, those not saved, sanctified, and heirs to the Promise, cannot possibly understand the concept/reality of Holy Spirit Inspired.
It is a heart thing, it must be experienced to fully understand and appreciate. Just saying.
Maybe you should start with questions about how one comes to invite Jesus into their lives? Maybe you should read the Bible and pray some? Do you go to church? Maybe you should. Do you have Christian friends? If not, maybe you should find some, and speak with them about your doubts.
It is good that you are seeking (if you are sincerely seeking, please understand, there are instances where unbelieving people come here posting questions such as yours who really aren't sincere. That makes it difficult to sincerely respond to them, simply because after awhile one tires of the slings and arrows some unbelievers throw at believers)
If you are sincere, I'm sure there will be believers here who will converse with you, and answer your questions as best they can, but it is imperative that you seek God within your heart, and lean on Him to impart understanding.