All you single men out there. Kill the lust! Let's sharpen some Iron.

[ServantStrike]

Lust. I've talked to a lot of guys on CC who have had serious troubles with it, with pornography, and with society cramming a shot of C cups down their throat along with their morning coffee. Oh wait, this isn't 2001 - make that D cups


Over a month ago I saw this and asked one of the mods if it would be okay to start a moderated chat group where men could talk about these struggles, and about all of the other struggles that they go through as men. This is a safe, non judgmental area where you can talk about whatever is bothering you without offending the fairer sex (did I mention it was moderated and the only people there are men). Lust, pornography, maritial issues, what the biblical standard for a man is - all of it. This area should be filled with posts pushing the 1000 character limit.

But it's not. So far, it's deader than Disco in there. And Zao put forth an awesome challenge for the month of November. He's written a blog post about it, he's trying to drum up support for it, and so far very few of us are actually discussing it. His challenge is very very simple. Eyes off, hands off, and that includes ourselves.


-If you're struggling, please join us.
-If you've had victory, please JOIN US. Help support those who are struggling.
-If you're married, join us and show us single guys there is hope


Let's be Proverbs 27 men
[SUP]17 [/SUP]Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.


Break out the sword of the spirit already. It's time. If this interests you check the links in my sig. If it doesn't, then why not?

 

[Liamson]

Who what where when?

No seriously, this is the first dead and or doornail reference to something that I didn't even know existed.


How can I help?

 

[ServantStrike]

Who what where when?

No seriously, this is the first dead and or doornail reference to something that I didn't even know existed.


How can I help?

Hmm. Maybe we haven't done a good job of advertising then. Do you think a sign spinner would be too much?

Invite to tree house sent. Remember to bring the cheetos.

 

[Liamson]

Hmm. Maybe we haven't done a good job of advertising then. Do you think a sign spinner would be too much?

Invite to tree house sent. Remember to bring the cheetos.

I just bought two bags of spicy pork rinds is that okay instead?

 

[ServantStrike]

I just bought two bags of spicy pork rinds is that okay instead?

That works too.

Don't forget to bring a bible though! Wouldn't be a proper biblical discussion without one.

 

[AsifinPassing]

Thank you. I replied to Zao's thread in Young Adults, and applied to the group. I hope to be of help, service, and encouragement to those here. I need plenty of help and encouragement myself, though, and we can delve into all that in the group.

I believe this is a good idea, and hope for its success. I would also like to say 'pray' for its success, but try to be careful these days not to use that term unless I'm actually asking/talking to God about it.

 

[ServantStrike]

Remenber the siper hero pics spread all over Cc?

Every man in this group will be a super man for God.

It will be epic.


Also just want to clarify that you ladies are free to chime in here, it only gets awkward if you're there in the thick of the heated parts.

We Don't want you to feel like you need to stand behind a sheet of lead, hence why the group itself is private.

 

[ServantStrike]

Remenber the siper hero pics spread all over Cc?

Every man in this group will be a super man for God.

It will be epic.


Also just want to clarify that you ladies are free to chime in here, it only gets awkward if you're there in the thick of the heated parts.

We Don't want you to feel like you need to stand behind a sheet of lead, hence why the group itself is private.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Also just want to clarify that you ladies are free to chime in here, it only gets awkward if you're there in the thick of the heated parts.

We Don't want you to feel like you need to stand behind a sheet of lead, hence why the group itself is private.

We can let the men have their manly things. But I do think it's pretty awesome to see you guys encouraging and supporting one another. This is true discipleship!

 

[eugenius]

I started a group like this almost a year ago. I had like 20 people join, but nobody is ever active or posts anything. And guess what, I stopped trying to fix my sexual problem. I just lived with it. I still do. Nobody commited to my chat group and neither have I. I'm sure all the members of my chat group still live with this problem like I do.

And whats worse now, I got the job of my dreams, I love coming to work every day, All the years I was struggling in college have finally paid off. And what do I do with it? Well when youre in your own personal office for 8 hours and almost nobody ever comes in, and you get stressed, you tend to do "things" and look at "things". My management trusts me enough not to put filters on my computer or monitor my computer. So away I go. I actually put a filter on firefox and picked a random password and forgot the password on purpose. It works nicely but I can always use Internet explorer...... I'm a mess arnt I.

Afraid to death that one day my boss will come in and some stupid website pops up, and all those years of college and hardship will be for nothing. My life will be ruined and it will be all my fault. I had a dream like that tonight. This happened in the dream. It felt so real. I'm almost 100% sure God was telling me that its time to stop. I come to CC and see this post. Not a coincidence I think.

I will definitely join your group. Please promise me it will be active and people will actually participate. I need this.

Lust. I've talked to a lot of guys on CC who have had serious troubles with it, with pornography, and with society cramming a shot of C cups down their throat along with their morning coffee. Oh wait, this isn't 2001 - make that D cups


Over a month ago I saw this and asked one of the mods if it would be okay to start a moderated chat group where men could talk about these struggles, and about all of the other struggles that they go through as men. This is a safe, non judgmental area where you can talk about whatever is bothering you without offending the fairer sex (did I mention it was moderated and the only people there are men). Lust, pornography, maritial issues, what the biblical standard for a man is - all of it. This area should be filled with posts pushing the 1000 character limit.

But it's not. So far, it's deader than Disco in there. And Zao put forth an awesome challenge for the month of November. He's written a blog post about it, he's trying to drum up support for it, and so far very few of us are actually discussing it. His challenge is very very simple. Eyes off, hands off, and that includes ourselves.


-If you're struggling, please join us.
-If you've had victory, please JOIN US. Help support those who are struggling.
-If you're married, join us and show us single guys there is hope


Let's be Proverbs 27 men
[SUP]17 [/SUP]Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.


Break out the sword of the spirit already. It's time. If this interests you check the links in my sig. If it doesn't, then why not?

 

[ServantStrike]

I started a group like this almost a year ago. I had like 20 people join, but nobody is ever active or posts anything. And guess what, I stopped trying to fix my sexual problem. I just lived with it. I still do. Nobody commited to my chat group and neither have I. I'm sure all the members of my chat group still live with this problem like I do.

And whats worse now, I got the job of my dreams, I love coming to work every day, All the years I was struggling in college have finally paid off. And what do I do with it? Well when youre in your own personal office for 8 hours and almost nobody ever comes in, and you get stressed, you tend to do "things" and look at "things". My management trusts me enough not to put filters on my computer or monitor my computer. So away I go. I actually put a filter on firefox and picked a random password and forgot the password on purpose. It works nicely but I can always use Internet explorer...... I'm a mess arnt I.

Afraid to death that one day my boss will come in and some stupid website pops up, and all those years of college and hardship will be for nothing. My life will be ruined and it will be all my fault. I had a dream like that tonight. This happened in the dream. It felt so real. I'm almost 100% sure God was telling me that its time to stop. I come to CC and see this post. Not a coincidence I think.

I will definitely join your group. Please promise me it will be active and people will actually participate. I need this.

There are several of us now who are entrenched.

There are no notifications that pop up when new posts are received, so we have to check it manually a few times a day, but nobody is slipping through the cracks there.

This will be huge for a lot of people if we have our way.

 

[MissCris]

I thought I heard something about Cheetos.

Seriously, where are they?

 

[Chey60]

I started a group like this almost a year ago. I had like 20 people join, but nobody is ever active or posts anything. And guess what, I stopped trying to fix my sexual problem. I just lived with it. I still do. Nobody commited to my chat group and neither have I. I'm sure all the members of my chat group still live with this problem like I do.

And whats worse now, I got the job of my dreams, I love coming to work every day, All the years I was struggling in college have finally paid off. And what do I do with it? Well when youre in your own personal office for 8 hours and almost nobody ever comes in, and you get stressed, you tend to do "things" and look at "things". My management trusts me enough not to put filters on my computer or monitor my computer. So away I go. I actually put a filter on firefox and picked a random password and forgot the password on purpose. It works nicely but I can always use Internet explorer...... I'm a mess arnt I.

Afraid to death that one day my boss will come in and some stupid website pops up, and all those years of college and hardship will be for nothing. My life will be ruined and it will be all my fault. I had a dream like that tonight. This happened in the dream. It felt so real. I'm almost 100% sure God was telling me that its time to stop. I come to CC and see this post. Not a coincidence I think.

I will definitely join your group. Please promise me it will be active and people will actually participate. I need this.

This is a great post..

Have you read Every man's battle?
I know someone who read it after they did something so humiliating over this type of sin that they couldn't stand themselves any longer..
married and working on the computer alone day in and day out at home in a lower level of their home, this man was doing "things" and looking at "Things" while his wife entertained members of their church upstairs...
when she walked down to ask him to come up and caught him...she threw this book at him and walked away.
it worked..
I pray that you and the other man are able to gain self control (I know it's hard even as women sometimes)
over this aspect of your flesh...
and i know God hears your heart cry..

 

[ServantStrike]

This is a great post..

Have you read Every man's battle?
I know someone who read it after they did something so humiliating over this type of sin that they couldn't stand themselves any longer..
married and working on the computer alone day in and day out at home in a lower level of their home, this man was doing "things" and looking at "Things" while his wife entertained members of their church upstairs...
when she walked down to ask him to come up and caught him...she threw this book at him and walked away.
it worked..
I pray that you and the other man are able to gain self control (I know it's hard even as women sometimes)
over this aspect of your flesh...
and i know God hears your heart cry..

That book is one of the best I've read on the topic. No false doctrine introduced and very honest about the topic.

I thought I heard something about Cheetos.

Seriously, where are they?

Well... we kind of ate them all...

It's not fair that we have a mens discussion in private but don't share bountiful cheese curls. We shall leave some in a bowl outside. Meanwhile, if you could point any men you know who are struggling our way, that would be greeeat. Or, ones who aren't struggling too. It seems men only open up about their problems when they are crashing and burning, something we want to avoid.

 

[eugenius]

I heard of that book. I should read it. I also discovered this. Bebroken.com provides hope and help for sex addicts in pursuing addiction recovery and sexual purity.

I will try every resource I can. So far I am clean today. I can usually stay clean for a few days, but eventually it builds up over time and stress doesn't help. Stress is the most destructive thing on earth.

So apparently its not only a problem for single guys with little to no experience. I thought once I get married I will never need that type of thing again. I guess if I don't solve this problem now, it will carry over into my marriage (whenever that happens).

This is a great post..

Have you read Every man's battle?
I know someone who read it after they did something so humiliating over this type of sin that they couldn't stand themselves any longer..
married and working on the computer alone day in and day out at home in a lower level of their home, this man was doing "things" and looking at "Things" while his wife entertained members of their church upstairs...
when she walked down to ask him to come up and caught him...she threw this book at him and walked away.
it worked..
I pray that you and the other man are able to gain self control (I know it's hard even as women sometimes)
over this aspect of your flesh...
and i know God hears your heart cry..

 

[ServantStrike]

I heard of that book. I should read it. I also discovered this. Bebroken.com provides hope and help for sex addicts in pursuing addiction recovery and sexual purity.

I will try every resource I can. So far I am clean today. I can usually stay clean for a few days, but eventually it builds up over time and stress doesn't help. Stress is the most destructive thing on earth.

So apparently its not only a problem for single guys with little to no experience. I thought once I get married I will never need that type of thing again. I guess if I don't solve this problem now, it will carry over into my marriage (whenever that happens).

It can and will carry over.

And then you'll be hurting another child of God. You need to train yourself not to even look at a woman the wrong way. It takes time, but the payoff is huge. No more guilt!

When you no longer look at pornography all the time and when you've trained yourself not to undress every woman you meet with your eyes, every single woman you meet looks more and more attractive. You start to see their personality, their faith, and yes their physical beauty, in a completely different way. That makes for an awesome marriage, because then you have that one woman who you can look at in a sexual manner. You derive all of your gratificatoin from her and her alone. You aren't sinning against God, and you aren't comparing your wife to any one else, so she also feels much more secure (seriously whether it be men or women, when their spouse is ogling other people, it's a confidence killer).

I see you joined the group. Now don't be afraid to get posting in there (or on the forum too). In there is a safe place where you can go into more detail without offending anyone. We're all guys, we get it.

Also, for those who joined, keep in mind there are no notifications for private chat areas, so you have to check the area manually. Totally worth it though!

 

[ServantStrike]

We can let the men have their manly things. But I do think it's pretty awesome to see you guys encouraging and supporting one another. This is true discipleship!

I can't let this slip through the cracks either.

It's not just discipleship, it's MANcipleship.

With preposterous amounts of testosterone. PREPOSTERONE!

 

[eugenius]

This is a tricky issue. I heard young women say things like "if he isnt looking at my 'certain body parts' he must be gay or weird or something". Women are not helping us guys. I guess I'm not talking about Christian women that are supposed to think differently right now, but still. Its actually very difficult to find young women who would be attracted to the fact that you want to remain a virgin until marriage. Most of them will think youre a loser and nobody wants you. You have to admit I'm right unless you have been living on another planet somewhere.

There are certain ideas and expectations and stereotypes in 90% of Western society (I don't think Christians realize what kind of minority they are) These ideas are not Christian and they are not helping. Just turn on any TV channel and you will see what I mean. Kids in high school are bombarded with these ideas daily. 90% of their peers think if you want to remain a virgin until marriage you are the biggest loser in the world. Do parents understand that kids go through this stuff on a daily basis? Have they forgotten their own childhood?

It can and will carry over.

And then you'll be hurting another child of God. You need to train yourself not to even look at a woman the wrong way. It takes time, but the payoff is huge. No more guilt!

When you no longer look at pornography all the time and when you've trained yourself not to undress every woman you meet with your eyes, every single woman you meet looks more and more attractive. You start to see their personality, their faith, and yes their physical beauty, in a completely different way. That makes for an awesome marriage, because then you have that one woman who you can look at in a sexual manner. You derive all of your gratificatoin from her and her alone. You aren't sinning against God, and you aren't comparing your wife to any one else, so she also feels much more secure (seriously whether it be men or women, when their spouse is ogling other people, it's a confidence killer).

I see you joined the group. Now don't be afraid to get posting in there (or on the forum too). In there is a safe place where you can go into more detail without offending anyone. We're all guys, we get it.

Also, for those who joined, keep in mind there are no notifications for private chat areas, so you have to check the area manually. Totally worth it though!

 

[Chey60]

I heard of that book. I should read it. I also discovered this. Bebroken.com provides hope and help for sex addicts in pursuing addiction recovery and sexual purity.

I will try every resource I can. So far I am clean today. I can usually stay clean for a few days, but eventually it builds up over time and stress doesn't help. Stress is the most destructive thing on earth.

So apparently its not only a problem for single guys with little to no experience. I thought once I get married I will never need that type of thing again. I guess if I don't solve this problem now, it will carry over into my marriage (whenever that happens).

yea..... if you watch Fireproof..that is the sin they deal with in their marriage which is why she no longer wants to stay married to him...

I think it's not so much a sexual issue as maybe ya'll are missing something in your lives that the sexual desire fulfills..
it's not that different for some women either...
whether it's sexual desire (that comforts sometimes) or comfort food
and unfortunately for the married it's even more considered idolatry...etc .. sexual intimacy is for the two of you to be one...
and the pressure it puts on the wives to be like those things you see on screen that are totally like not what it's really like or about, makes them feel unloved, undesirable and unfulfilled in that part of their lives.. it also awakens a spirit within your marriage that can result in one or both of you cheating etc...
Once it's there, and it is so prevalent with internet access these days, since it cannot be unseen, undone or unthought about.. this is something that can permeate the mind and cause such bondage..
it draws you in and you often cannot resist..

Reading that would definitely help you..and just continually examining your relationship with Christ..
not that it's not a good one..but for me,...often times I will turn to chocolate for comfort (don't judge, many women and some men, do)...I call it "Eating my feelings"...instead of to Christ..which affects my relationship with Him..
I am doing the study "What on earth am I hear for" (aka Purpose driven life) and it gives such good tools to walk with Christ as closely as possible, through accountability with other christians (same sex please!)
and through just focusing on something else..like this board.. which has helped me turn away from Chocolate when I am sad or upset or just bored. : )
often we don't WANT to refocus on other things because we want the comfort of the sin we are in bondage to...

sigh.. it's a battle for sure in many people's lives..

praying you find the answers from God that work for you (BTW asking God for wisdom and truly desiring HIS wisdom is a good step as well)

 

[eugenius]

I totally understand the comfort food thing. I am struggling with that as well. Its not chocolate but its many other things. Its all due to stress and worrying and etc. I'm trying to lose weight at the same time as I'm trying to stop this stuff. Its all related. Absolutely. All addictions are the same at their core.

yea..... if you watch Fireproof..that is the sin they deal with in their marriage which is why she no longer wants to stay married to him...

I think it's not so much a sexual issue as maybe ya'll are missing something in your lives that the sexual desire fulfills..
it's not that different for some women either...
whether it's sexual desire (that comforts sometimes) or comfort food
and unfortunately for the married it's even more considered idolatry...etc
I think once it's there, and it is so prevalent with internet access these days, since it cannot be unseen, undone or unthought about.. this is something that can permeate the mind and cause such bondage..
it draws you in and you often cannot resist..

Reading that would definitely help you..and just continually examining your relationship with Christ..
not that it's not a good one..but for me,...often times I will turn to chocolate for comfort (don't judge, many women and some men, do)...I call it "Eating my feelings"...instead of to Christ..
I am doing the study "What on earth am I hear for" (aka Purpose driven life) and it gives such good tools to walk with Christ as closely as possible, through accountability with other christians (same sex please!)
and through just focusing on something else..like this board.. which has helped me turn away from Chocolate when I am sad or upset or just bored. : )
often we don't WANT to refocus on other things because we want the comfort of the sin we are in bondage to...

sigh.. it's a battle for sure in many people's lives..

praying you find the answers from God that work for you (BTW asking God for wisdom and truly desiring HIS wisdom is a good step as well)