Premarital sex: Why so much compromise?

[Chey60]

So.. I have to say, after all this talk about dating sites.. I did ask the question after all, I went back on one that has a questionnaire after having been off it for some time.
There are all these questions regarding christianity that so many of the men answer in such a great way..then there's this one " After how many dates would you figure you would have sex" and they all answer between 1 and 2 or 3 and 5..
seriously!! none say "After the wedding"...
why is this???
I realize the draw is so hard to resist! but aren't we supposed to try to buffet our flesh?

I don't get this at all..

 

[mykim]

they are obviously not christians then.

 

[Liamson]

Chey, you have just unleashed Pandora's Box.

 

[ServantStrike]

Chey, you have just unleashed Pandora's Box.

Well don't just stand there man. We're going to need to start getting disaster supplies handy.

A storm is coming...

 

[KJV15John11]

I don't know where it started, but it is common knowledge in the secular world that sex occurs after the third date. These men apparently have accepted this as fact regardless of what they should believe based on their Christian beliefs. Unfortunately, many Christian women are following this as well.

(I am calling them Christian based on what they call themselves, not necessarily what they do. If the only way we could call ourselves Christians though is to be sin free, then none of us could be called Christians.)

And let the fiery arrows fly . . .

 

[Liamson]

There is going to be the Bible Quoting person....

The Person who recounts from experience why this is bad....

The "Fallen World" Person, who reflects on all the ills this world contains...

Rinse and Repeat. 29 pages later when Agreement has been reached and conclusions have long been arrived at, this thread will live on, like a gross Frankenstein-esque reminder that no one in their mind would disagree with.

People will brings bats, pitchforks, torches and the mob will simply continue its frothing quest to lay one more hit into a horse whose death is but a shadow of memory.

 

[Loveneverfails]

Well.. that's unfortunate, but I can't really do anything about what other people do or believe.

I am choosing not to have sex before marriage, and it's a goal I know I cannot reach on my own strength, but only on the strength of Christ in me.

For those who have had premarital sex, something I have been working on in the last few years is to stop being so judgmental. I have PLENTY of my own sins, and I believe sin is sin, no matter what kind of sin. I'm happy to say that by the grace of God I have made much progress in my mindset.

 

[Chey60]

My potential match and I had the discussion..but he didn't set a "Date" per se..what he said was this..
"But I don't believe a piece of paper issued by a gov't and standing in front of a preacher makes you married.
Marriage is the commitment made between a man and a woman before god !

So I guess I am saying if we commit to each other heart before god then what we decide to do from there is great "

Gosh it might be rude for me to do this (air this here) .. but "many counselors" and all that..
I trust ya'll...

He said what he is saying is the same thing I am saying about having the covenant..

I often feel as if every man I think God is bringing into my life compromises soooo much on their values..

And KJV.. tho I agree, we all still live in our sinful nature.. practicing sin and sinning are too very different things..

 

[The_highwayman]

The church needs to reclaim their VOICE about SEX, lets face it, any church in any denomination does a terrible job at discussing, educating and talking about SEX.

Some denominations shoot their own if a Pastor or anyone tells anyone he has even had a thought that was contrary to SEXUAL purity.

We get so super spiritual about something God created, the church needs to spiritually mature to the point that we can teach, educate and discuss SEX in even a candid way.

There are ways to teach and talk without causing anyone to stumble. I love it when Pastors and deacon boards complain, oh now we cannot have a marriage seminar and discuss SEX, oh we cannot talk to the young kids about SEX..we better stop the young adults and singles pastors they are talking about SEX, it will drive someone to the sin of lust.

If the Church regained their voice on SEX, we might not have moral failure in churches and in the pulpits. Satan has used the churches silence on SEX to run amok and steal, kill and destroy people.

The church should be the expert on the subject of SEX and if they were, we might just have less immorality and promiscuity in the world.

You would also stop the nonsense about hey ya know, lets go to bed after 3 dates. The sad fact today is that young women outnumber you men in pornography addiction. Female porn addiction is the elephant in the room ladies and gentleman.

It is time for the church to spiritually mature to the point that they regain their voice on SEX and a whole lot of other issues.

 

[TJ91]

There is going to be the Bible Quoting person....

The Person who recounts from experience why this is bad....

The "Fallen World" Person, who reflects on all the ills this world contains...

Rinse and Repeat. 29 pages later when Agreement has been reached and conclusions have long been arrived at, this thread will live on, like a gross Frankenstein-esque reminder that no one in their mind would disagree with.

People will brings bats, pitchforks, torches and the mob will simply continue its frothing quest to lay one more hit into a horse whose death is but a shadow of memory.

LOL so true in that order i bet

 

[Desciple4life]

•In 2006–2010, the most common reason that sexually inexperienced teens gave for not having had sex was that it was “against religion or morals" (38% among females and 31% among males). The second and third most common reasons for females were “don’t want to get pregnant" and “haven’t found the right person yet."

Although 15–24-year-olds represent only one-quarter of the sexually active population, they account for nearly half (9.1 million) of the 18.9 million new cases of STIs each year.

Each year, almost 750,000 U.S. women aged 15–19 become pregnant. Two-thirds of all teen pregnancies occur among the oldest teens

​

 

[Arlene89]

There is going to be the Bible Quoting person....

The Person who recounts from experience why this is bad....

The "Fallen World" Person, who reflects on all the ills this world contains...

Rinse and Repeat. 29 pages later when Agreement has been reached and conclusions have long been arrived at, this thread will live on, like a gross Frankenstein-esque reminder that no one in their mind would disagree with.

People will brings bats, pitchforks, torches and the mob will simply continue its frothing quest to lay one more hit into a horse whose death is but a shadow of memory.

a) Tenderised horse is a delicacy
b) My name is Arlene, and I am auditioning for the part 'The person who brought in the Unicorn'
c) You've just ruined the ending. Thanks a lot.

 

[KJV15John11]

My potential match and I had the discussion..but he didn't set a "Date" per se..what he said was this..
"But I don't believe a piece of paper issued by a gov't and standing in front of a preacher makes you married.
Marriage is the commitment made between a man and a woman before god !

So I guess I am saying if we commit to each other heart before god then what we decide to do from there is great "

Gosh it might be rude for me to do this (air this here) .. but "many counselors" and all that..
I trust ya'll...

He said what he is saying is the same thing I am saying about having the covenant..

I often feel as if every man I think God is bringing into my life compromises soooo much on their values..

And KJV.. tho I agree, we all still live in our sinful nature.. practicing sin and sinning are too very different things..

Not really because we are ALL practicing sin, there are just those of us who deny we are actually doing so. Our pastor has been on a real kick lately about preaching against couples who are living together within our congregation. I don't know who they are but I can tell you, I can't remember the last time he preached against gossiping and baring false witness. THAT I know is running rampant in our church as well as most churches abroad. Then I have to ask myself, whose sin is more destructive here? If there are children involved, naturally, they can be the innocent victims of unwed parents. Outside of that, the sin is affecting the two people involved only, not the congregation. Yet gossiping damages many.

If a Christian believes they have no practicing sin, congratulations, pride is their practicing sin. Until we all accept that we are no better than anyone else, we will never truly accept Christ's sacrifice.

 

[The_highwayman]

Not really because we are ALL practicing sin, there are just those of us who deny we are actually doing so. Our pastor has been on a real kick lately about preaching against couples who are living together within our congregation. I don't know who they are but I can tell you, I can't remember the last time he preached against gossiping and baring false witness. THAT I know is running rampant in our church as well as most churches abroad. Then I have to ask myself, whose sin is more destructive here? If there are children involved, naturally, they can be the innocent victims of unwed parents. Outside of that, the sin is affecting the two people involved only, not the congregation. Yet gossiping damages many.

If a Christian believes they have no practicing sin, congratulations, pride is their practicing sin. Until we all accept that we are no better than anyone else, we will never truly accept Christ's sacrifice.

Good points, I really loathe preachers/denominations that stack rank sin. No sin is any worse than another and any preacher that treads that water will make you sink.

 

[secularhermit]

Dificult thing!

1) What woman will marry a cold man?

Besides.

2) Do they think a kiss is sex or a tender demonstration of love or its bond?

I guess dating serves to guess if both match, but my FORMER paganism led me to think it was for ELEGAL SEX (out of marriage).

My experience tells me LOVING IS A MIRACLE. I leave this on God!

 

[Chey60]

Not really because we are ALL practicing sin, there are just those of us who deny we are actually doing so. Our pastor has been on a real kick lately about preaching against couples who are living together within our congregation. I don't know who they are but I can tell you, I can't remember the last time he preached against gossiping and baring false witness. THAT I know is running rampant in our church as well as most churches abroad. Then I have to ask myself, whose sin is more destructive here? If there are children involved, naturally, they can be the innocent victims of unwed parents. Outside of that, the sin is affecting the two people involved only, not the congregation. Yet gossiping damages many.

If a Christian believes they have no practicing sin, congratulations, pride is their practicing sin. Until we all accept that we are no better than anyone else, we will never truly accept Christ's sacrifice.

I disagree with you..
practiced sin is a sin that is continuing that you are not repentant about..
Sinning can be falling , failing etc.. sin that we repent from..
Our hearts is what God looks at..
So if you think ALL christians "practice sin" (unrepentant) than no ones prayers are answered.

Psalm 66:18

18​

If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened.

Which can be the issue with a couple living together (I speak from experience AND from their experience
when I have spoken to them)

And then we have to wonder if we are truly lovers of God..if we practice unrepentant sin..

I John 3:
8 But when people keep on sinning, it shows they belong to the Devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy these works of the Devil. 9 Those who have been born into God's family do not sin, because God's life is in them. So they can't keep on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10 So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the Devil. Anyone who does not obey God's commands and does not love other Christians does not belong to God.

Now obviously we know that he doesn't mean falling or anything like that because of here where he talks about us having sin...

I John 1:
8 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

the difference is.. one is repentant sin and the other is just accepting and living in it..without repentance.

Gossip is awful..and I am glad my Pastor is no respecter of sins..
he preaches against all of them equally

 

[The_highwayman]

I disagree with you..
practiced sin is a sin that is continuing that you are not repentant about..
Sinning can be falling , failing etc.. sin that we repent from..
Our hearts is what God looks at..
So if you think ALL christians "practice sin" (unrepentant) than no ones prayers are answered.

Psalm 66:18

18​

If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened.

Which can be the issue with a couple living together (I speak from experience AND from their experience
when I have spoken to them)

And then we have to wonder if we are truly lovers of God..if we practice unrepentant sin..

I John 3:
8 But when people keep on sinning, it shows they belong to the Devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy these works of the Devil. 9 Those who have been born into God's family do not sin, because God's life is in them. So they can't keep on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10 So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the Devil. Anyone who does not obey God's commands and does not love other Christians does not belong to God.

Now obviously we know that he doesn't mean falling or anything like that because of here where he talks about us having sin...

I John 1:
8 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

the difference is.. one is repentant sin and the other is just accepting and living in it..without repentance.

Gossip is awful..and I am glad my Pastor is no respecter of sins..
he preaches against all of them equally

Well said,
SIN is a choice not an action.

 

[Chey60]

Good points, I really loathe preachers/denominations that stack rank sin. No sin is any worse than another and any preacher that treads that water will make you sink.

one sin will separate you from God..
but sexual sins are sins commited against your body as spoken about in Corinthians..
these kinds of sins Paul says alot about..
because he said the other sins are done outside your body
and your body is God's temple..

anyway..
didn't think we would have these kinds of discussions..

But at least I kind of know how some men especially, think..

 

[KJV15John11]

I disagree with you..
practiced sin is a sin that is continuing that you are not repentant about..
Sinning can be falling , failing etc.. sin that we repent from..
Our hearts is what God looks at..
So if you think ALL christians "practice sin" (unrepentant) than no ones prayers are answered.

Psalm 66:18

18​

If I had not confessed the sin in my heart, my Lord would not have listened.

Which can be the issue with a couple living together (I speak from experience AND from their experience
when I have spoken to them)

And then we have to wonder if we are truly lovers of God..if we practice unrepentant sin..

I John 3:
8 But when people keep on sinning, it shows they belong to the Devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy these works of the Devil. 9 Those who have been born into God's family do not sin, because God's life is in them. So they can't keep on sinning, because they have been born of God. 10 So now we can tell who are children of God and who are children of the Devil. Anyone who does not obey God's commands and does not love other Christians does not belong to God.

Now obviously we know that he doesn't mean falling or anything like that because of here where he talks about us having sin...

I John 1:
8 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong.10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

the difference is.. one is repentant sin and the other is just accepting and living in it..without repentance.

Gossip is awful..and I am glad my Pastor is no respecter of sins..
he preaches against all of them equally

I just said that we are ALL practicing sin, you added the rest by YOUR definition. That is the reason I hate to use labels or certain terminology, it's meaning is based on what the audience believes instead of what the speaker explains. And you're right, our hearts is what God looks at . . . And yet, so many Christians feel they are in a position to judge what only God can see.

I find it extremely rare for a pastor to preach equally of all sin. He is still human, a sinner himself, and he will preach on those things that are in the forefront of his own mind. As we have witnessed in the past, how many times have we seen a preacher or politician take a stand against sexual sin just to get caught doing the exact same act themselves.

I find that most of the time, when someone is pointing out others' sins, it's because they are trying to distract others from their own.

 

[Jullianna]

a) Tenderised horse is a delicacy
b) My name is Arlene, and I am auditioning for the part 'The person who brought in the Unicorn'
c) You've just ruined the ending. Thanks a lot.

This woman is becoming one of my favorite posters