Schrodinger's Rapist

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PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#1
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
138
63
#1
I've been thinking about this topic for a while, after I saw a post where somebody mentioned this article and said that it was a turn-off if a woman viewed every guy as a potential rapist. I'm not saying that he's wrong; if it's a turn-off to him, then it's a turn-off. But it got me thinking about how women react to men who approach them. I have a ton of thoughts about the topic, and I'd love to read anyone else's, too.

In the literal, dictionary definition sense, every man IS a potential rapist. And yet there are lots of guys who (I'm convinced, anyway) would rather shoot themselves than do such a thing. But when you first meet someone, there's really no way to instantly know what's in their hearts.

I've seen a lot of girls go on and on about how DARE a man approach them!!!!!!! until the guy feels like dirt. Now, I don't believe that it's a crime to have suspicions or doubts about someone's trustworthiness. But I think there's a point where telling them your doubts becomes wrong and hurtful. If a complete stranger approaches a girl and says "Hi", there's a huge middle ground between "Eew! Get away from me! You're a potential rapist!!!!!" and "I really like the way you said the word 'hi'. I'm sure you would never hurt a fly. Could you give me a ride home?"

So overall, are ladies' reactions to strange men approaching them harsher than they need to be? Or do girls try too hard to be nice?
Should a lady continue a conversation just to be polite, if she feels uncomfortable? What if she just wants to be left alone?
Or should guys be more understanding overall when we're trying to be kind as well as safe... and back off a little?

P.S. I'm not suggesting that men are the only humans capable of being potentially dangerous. But I'm focusing on the topic of the article and post which prompted this thread.
 
J

jimmydiggs

Guest
#2
#2
Pretty much they're just a bunch of bourgeois exploiters of the female class.
 
PopClick

PopClick

Senior Member
#3
Aug 12, 2011
4,056
138
63
#3
jimmydiggs said:
Pretty much they're just a bunch of bourgeois exploiters of the female class.
Click to expand...
:p Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain... BECAUSE HE'S A RAPIST!!!!!!!

Seriously, I do think that some things women say/do in the name of "safety" are too hard on men. But I've also ignored warning signs before that should not have been ignored. I was hoping to get a few opinions from some of the wonderful people here. :p
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#4
#4
I can't find enough reasons to approach strange women to have an opinion. I don't ask random women out and i rarely go up to any stranger and talk to them. Male or female. So i'd have to wonder what other reasons than asking a woman out, would a man even need to approach a woman he didn't know.
Though my best guess would be it depends on the situation. If you're shopping and a guy comments to something you're considering, or asks you opinion why be rude? But if you're in a place that's less safe, then i can see being more standoffish.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#5
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#5
For the most part I agree with Ugly. There have been a few instances where I've felt led by the spirit to talk to a complete stranger. In those times, knowing I was being led to the person, even an "ew you're a potential rapist" comment would probably not dissuade me. Someone that feels the need to respond in this manner may have some scarring event in their past that God is ready to heal.

Sometimes I think anyone can be too harsh on others. I know I certainly have been. I guess from my perspective, I don't see it as an epidemic among women. Maybe if every woman I met reacted this way I would probably be more concerned.
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#6
#6
I strike up conversation with random strangers at the grocery store all the time.

I'm not a rapist though. Nor a woman. And these are well lit stores.
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#7
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#7
I see the point of the article, but at the same time...I think it's a bit too "All men are dangerous and it's a woman's right to be left alone", but if a woman is trying to talk to a man and he's unresponsive, then he's just "rude", whereas a woman does the same thing and she's "only looking out for her safety". Granted, it's generally easier for a woman to be attacked by a man than vice versa, and safety is definitely important, but still, the article seems to be...I dunno.

It's all about the environment, in my opinion. If a guy approaches me while I'm walking by myself, I will not feel comfortable. If I'm in a restaurant surrounded by people, then it's no big deal.

If I truly feel uneasy because of flags going up in my head, then I am not obligated to continue the conversation out of politeness. A lot of women feel they have to be polite, but if a guy is truly being creepy, unnecessarily forward, or is just for some reason giving you that gut feeling, you don't have to compromise your safety to make him feel better.

So, I think it's both. I think that women are sometimes taught to be too paranoid and that every single man is a threat until proven otherwise, which I don't fully agree with. However, men also need to realize what kind of world it is for women and keep that in mind when approaching them. Just to clarify, those are general blanket statements, as clearly not all women think that way and not all men are unaware, either. You just have to be smart about it.
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#8
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#8
I really just never think about this sort of thing. I'm aware of my surroundings when in dark areas, and have occasionally had a "whoa, this could get weird" moment if I notice something or someone who seems a bit "off", but I rarely go around thinking someone might assault me.

If I dated strangers often this might be more of a concern. If I had been assaulted in the past, I am sure I would be much more aware of the potential for harm. As it is, this doesn't really seem like an issue for me.

Having said that... if some guy pops up real close to me in a deserted underground garage while I'm walking to my car, I'm gonna freak out and stab him in the eye with my car keys. But hey, he had that coming. :p
 
Last edited:
A

arwen83

Guest
#9
#9
Grace-Like-Rain said:
I really just never think about this sort of thing. I'm aware of my surroundings when in dark areas, and have occasionally had a "whoa, this could get weird" moment if I notice something or someone who seems a bit "off", but I rarely go around thinking someone might assault me.

If I dated strangers often this might be more of a concern. If I had been assaulted in the past, I am sure I would be much more aware of the potential for harm. As it is, this doesn't really seem like an issue for me.

Having said that... if some guy pops up real close to me in a deserted underground garage while I'm walking to my car, I'm gonna freak out and stab him in the eye with my car keys. But hey, he had that coming. :p
Click to expand...
Keys are good weapons to use...well for the meantime until there's an App that will do it for you :p
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#13
#13
KJV15John11 said:
I could see a woman being in a rush to make a call, grabbing the wrong phone, and shocking herself!
Click to expand...
Hopefully they have security cams and we can find it on one of those home video shows.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#14
#14
I've approached a lot of girls I don't know and I've got all kinds of reactions both positive and negative but I can't say I've ever I got the "OMG, your a rapist! get away from me!" type vibe or got the impression anyone thought I did anything inappropriate. I really think it's a non-issue. The only people I've ever seen bring that up has been on the internet....never seen/heard this kinda talk or point of view in the real world.

Grace makes a good point though, obviously....a dark alley or parking garage at 3 am is neither the time nor the place for that kinda thing....lol
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#15
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#15
thus another reason why it just ain't worth bothering with the whole relationship crap.
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#16
#16
First of all, I want to thank "The Big Bang Theory" for doing a great job explaining "Schrodinger's Cat" so that those of us who have never heard of it before can actually have a clue.

Next, I was hoping to find the Saturday Night Live skit with Tom Brady about sexual harassment on YouTube. No such luck. It shows a perfect example of how certain men, who are good looking, can get away with almost anything with female coworkers while unattractive men can't even say "hi" without a call to HR. Slightly exaggerated but this thread made me think about that.
 
K

KJV15John11

Guest
#17
#17
wisebeardman said:
thus another reason why it just ain't worth bothering with the whole relationship crap.
Click to expand...
The more I hear from you, the wiser you become. Do you need an apprentice? Or a padawan?
 
S

StandStrong

Guest
#19
#19
PopClick said:
I've been thinking about this topic for a while, after I saw a post where somebody mentioned this article and said that it was a turn-off if a woman viewed every guy as a potential rapist. I'm not saying that he's wrong; if it's a turn-off to him, then it's a turn-off. But it got me thinking about how women react to men who approach them. I have a ton of thoughts about the topic, and I'd love to read anyone else's, too.

In the literal, dictionary definition sense, every man IS a potential rapist. And yet there are lots of guys who (I'm convinced, anyway) would rather shoot themselves than do such a thing. But when you first meet someone, there's really no way to instantly know what's in their hearts.

I've seen a lot of girls go on and on about how DARE a man approach them!!!!!!! until the guy feels like dirt. Now, I don't believe that it's a crime to have suspicions or doubts about someone's trustworthiness. But I think there's a point where telling them your doubts becomes wrong and hurtful. If a complete stranger approaches a girl and says "Hi", there's a huge middle ground between "Eew! Get away from me! You're a potential rapist!!!!!" and "I really like the way you said the word 'hi'. I'm sure you would never hurt a fly. Could you give me a ride home?"

So overall, are ladies' reactions to strange men approaching them harsher than they need to be? Or do girls try too hard to be nice?
Should a lady continue a conversation just to be polite, if she feels uncomfortable? What if she just wants to be left alone?
Or should guys be more understanding overall when we're trying to be kind as well as safe... and back off a little?

P.S. I'm not suggesting that men are the only humans capable of being potentially dangerous. But I'm focusing on the topic of the article and post which prompted this thread.
Click to expand...

either question. the one one about every men being potiental rapist and every girl over reacting can't accurately be explained under an umbrella generalizing everyone.

For example not all rapist are men. some are women however we don't have an accurate number of how many from either gender because not every victim reports the crime.

Not everyone who over reacts are women some are men.

I believe as a whole people need to be less judgemental, not saying that they all need to trust everyone on face value, just not necessarily rush to judge a new face.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#20
#20
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Having said that... if some guy pops up real close to me in a deserted underground garage while I'm walking to my car, I'm gonna freak out and stab him in the eye with my car keys. But hey, he had that coming. :p
Click to expand...
Note to self: do not approach Angie when she is in a parking garage. Good to know.
 
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