guts and girls....

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Matthew

Guest
#21
#21
I've never thought that guys and girls can't be close friends, I think it's a bit cynical to believe that it can't ever happen, it may be rare but then so is a true friendship of any kind.

I had a close female friend when I was younger and while I was attracted to her at one time I recognised it was just physical and after a while it went away and it never had a negative affect on our relationship.

All friendships have difficulites involved, arguments and other stuff, when two friends are the oppsoite sex it's only natural there might be an attraction of some sort, but assuming it's not true love it's just one more thing you deal with and get past, if two people don't manage too then it might be thier friendhsip was not that strong in the first place.

For me the question isn't so much 'can I have a female friend and not be attracted to her', it's more like 'can I have a female friend and have that be no big deal'

 
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Groundhog

Guest
#22
#22
Leilaii425 said:
or it could be just because they dont like each other in that way.........
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Maybe, but I think the odds are in Topher's favor. It doesn't mean he's right, but if I were a betting man, I would make the same wager he did. It just has to do with how guys operate, and there are always exceptions to the rule.
 
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Leilaii425

Guest
#23
#23
Groundhog said:
Maybe, but I think the odds are in Topher's favor. It doesn't mean he's right, but if I were a betting man, I would make the same wager he did. It just has to do with how guys operate, and there are always exceptions to the rule.
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see i dont know, cause i was friends with a guy and he literally had NO intrest in me AT ALL outside of friendship. I know this for a fact. He would only date certain types of women and i was the complete opposite of the type he would date, yet we were still friends. maybe every case is different though
 
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Groundhog

Guest
#24
#24
Matthew said:
I've never thought that guys and girls can't be close friends, I think it's a bit cynical to believe that it can't ever happen, it may be rare but then so is a true friendship of any kind.

I had a close female friend when I was younger and while I was attracted to her at one time I recognised it was just physical and after a while it went away and it never had a negative affect on our relationship.

All friendships have difficulites involved, arguments and other stuff, when two friends are the oppsoite sex it's only natural there might be an attraction of some sort, but assuming it's not true love it's just one more thing you deal with and get past, if two people don't manage too then it might be thier friendhsip was not that strong in the first place.

For me the question isn't so much 'can I have a female friend and not be attracted to her', it's more like 'can I have a female friend and have that be no big deal'
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Wow, good observations.
 
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Groundhog

Guest
#25
#25
Leilaii425 said:
see i dont know, cause i was friends with a guy and he literally had NO intrest in me AT ALL outside of friendship. I know this for a fact. He would only date certain types of women and i was the complete opposite of the type he would date, yet we were still friends. maybe every case is different though
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Like I said, there are always exceptions to the rule, just like some people do actually win the lottery, so it's quite possible that your friend was genuinely not interested in you.
 
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ChristopherMichael

Guest
#26
#26
Leilaii425 said:
or it could be just because they dont like each other in that way.........
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She might feel that way, but I doubt the dude does. Like I said, you don't hang around a store unless you're interested in their wares. That came off a little creepy, but you get what I mean.

- Topher
 
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Leilaii425

Guest
#27
#27
Groundhog said:
Like I said, there are always exceptions to the rule, just like some people do actually win the lottery, so it's quite possible that your friend was genuinely not interested in you.
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are you sayin i have a chance to win the lottery???
 
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eelhsa

Guest
#29
#29
It's interesting, because I have thought about this question before...and at least from my own experience, I would say that it is very difficult for a guy and a girl to be genuine friends with no conflicting emotions or feelings getting involved.

Every time I have become really close friends with a guy, either one or both of us would consider the possibility of more than frienship. However, when you get past these issues, I believe you can have a good friendship, as long as both people respect one another and the decision they've come to to remain friends.
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#30
#30
ChristopherMichael said:
I'll bet you $20 one of the following three apply.

1. Not attracted to women.
2. Lots of problems with self worth and depression.
3. Totally in love with you and wishing you'd see it.

Just sayin.

- Topher
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I can definitely tell you it's not the first 2. As far as the third one, you'll have to ask him about that.
 
JesusmyLord

JesusmyLord

Banned
#31
Sep 19, 2009
42
0
0
#31
sweet_eyes said:
can a guy and girl be best friends without there being any romantic feelings on either side?
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I don't see any problem with that, and Kakashi makes a good point; if the two are not romantically involved, there's no reason they can't be close like siblings.
 
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tjogs

Senior Member
#32
Jun 28, 2009
323
18
18
#32
The original question was can guy and girl be best friends without any ROMANTICAL between. Yes they can but that don't mean they could even love each other, some other way. Not all the love is romantic you know. I never had biological sister but I still have very sweet lil sister I love like brother can love his sister. I know I COULD be in other cases something else to her but friend but those things just don't come to my mind or feel right.
C'mon how you could even think of marrying your own sister who is dating already no matter how charming and lovely her heart or pretty she is?
 
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87dumpling

Guest
#33
#33
With my personality, I get along better with guys...play sports-tinkering with stuff-also I'm not really an emotional person and most of the females who are in my social field are really the more emotional type, which kindof gets on my nerves. I am friends with both guys and girls, but I get along better with my guy friends.
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#34
#34
yeah, I get along better with guys and older adults. Many females my age seem silly to me. I do have some female friends, but most of my friends are male.
 
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kiwi_OT

Guest
#35
#35
Yep, I believe so. One of my best mates is a bloke whom Ive known since I was 12. But Ive always viewed him as like my twin brother so the idea of even having an inkling of thinking of him like that would be like incest to me. Yuck
 
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kiwi_OT

Guest
#36
#36
christiancollegegirl said:
yeah, I get along better with guys and older adults. Many females my age seem silly to me. I do have some female friends, but most of my friends are male.
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OMG me too!! Im always having bad luck in finding girls my own age who are at my own emotional level. I gave up having girlfriends in highschool, but now, Im trying a bit harder to find mutual friends like that.
Me and you need to hang out lol
 
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christiancollegegirl

Guest
#37
#37
kiwi_OT said:
OMG me too!! Im always having bad luck in finding girls my own age who are at my own emotional level. I gave up having girlfriends in highschool, but now, Im trying a bit harder to find mutual friends like that.
Me and you need to hang out lol
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Come on over!
 
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ClimbingUpward

Guest
#38
#38
Of course you can! Just because you're best friends with the opposite sex doesn't mean you're gonna develop feelings for each other. In saying that tho, you should also pray that this doesn't happen :)
 
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ChristopherMichael

Guest
#39
#39
ClimbingUpward said:
Of course you can! Just because you're best friends with the opposite sex doesn't mean you're gonna develop feelings for each other. In saying that tho, you should also pray that this doesn't happen :)
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Or pray that it does happen, depending on your situation.

- Topher
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#40
Aug 2, 2009
24,653
4,317
113
#40
I was once best friends with a girl for like a year and then I told her how I really felt about her, that I wanted to be more than friends. You know what she said? She said "I really like you as a friend and don't want to ruin our friendship so I feel its best that we just stay friends." Then she slept with of my best male friends. So the point is that there is probably no attraction felt by the female in a guy-girl friendship. Of course are time goes on and people change things can change as far as attraction but there has to be some kind of change to make it happen.
 
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