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H
Ugh, i hated the guys who would get all self righteous in my Shorin Ryu and fencing classes and say they refused to hit a girl. I hate winning by default because the other person refuses to fight back. I signed up for it, I'm trained to deal with it, and I want to be hit at, so I don't see why they refuse to fight me.
H
Actually, it was kinda funny. I had been gone from my fencing club for a while, and this new guy had started. WHen I came back, we had a mini mock tournament to get ready for a ren fair, and I was paired to fight him. we step into the ring, and I see him turn to the safety marshal and my coach and he whispers something. All I hear next is the safety marshal laugh and yell, SHE'S NOT A GIRRRRRL! and my fencing Coach just shakes his head and told him, Man, I hope you are wearing groin protection because she's gonna tear you apart if you don't fight her. My opponent turns around, does his salute, and then goes to one knee trying to be all noble like and explains he was raised not to hit a girl, about five other people hear that and ALL of them said But, she's not a girl! The poor sap, never saw him at the fencing club again after that...I think my friends made him think I was going to murder him or something.
J
Sounds to me that you love sports and like it rough! I would have loved to learn to fence. I did love surfing. I had problems way years and years ago of surfer dudes picking on me out in the ocean. They would cut in front of me on a wave etc. I would go get the big long Haut longboard and take off and run over the top of them and say, "woman driver" as I surfed away. I would not put up with their crap. My surfname became "Seahag". My family knew me as "kookmeyer mama". I used to get into all kinds of fights out in the ocean with guys. My husband considered it a plus because when I would paddle out onto a peak, the guys would clear the peak and go away and he liked that so we could have the peak for ourselves.
C
Proverbs 13:24
Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I think there's a line, when it comes to physically punishing children. I do believe that it is ok to physically punish your children however, though I am not a fan of people doing so in anger.
- Topher
Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
I think there's a line, when it comes to physically punishing children. I do believe that it is ok to physically punish your children however, though I am not a fan of people doing so in anger.
- Topher
No way
You've gotta whack kids, otherwise they never learn. If I didn't cop a decent flogging every now and then as a child, I would be stealing cars right now. Children need to know that if they do something bad they're gonna get hurt. Its how they learn the difference between right and wrong.
People these days wonder why all the children have either got ADHD or are turning out to be gay. Its because of this soft approach to parenting. My advice to parents: throw away the ritalin, say goodbye to the therapist, and get yourself a wooden spoon and a leather belt.
Hi Everyone,
I'm sorry I'm a little late to this thread, but the posts here have been really interesting. Kyra, my kudos to you in that these are both exceptional questions.
Ideally, of course, no one should stay in an abusive relationship, in my humble opinion. And neither should someone who knows they have anger problems stay in a situation that they know is going to push them over the limits.
Unfortunately though, we all know that in every life, for many reasons we have probably all experienced or seen (loneliness, weakness, feeling you have to stay for the kids or as if this is your only chance to have someone, etc.), it doesn't seem to be that easy.
I hear about this approach often: "Well, the woman should submit (no matter what the situation may be, including physical, emotional, sexual abuse... within a marriage...)" because this is what God commands".
So, when a "good Christian man" "helpfully" "reminds" me of this, my reply is always, "Yes, the Bible says that wives are to submit to their husbands. But if you take the time to read the entire section that Paul wrote, the Bible also says that husbands are to loves their wives AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER. In other words, have you read what Jesus went through in order to love the church? He was heavenly royalty who humbled himself to the position of a servant, put the needs of the church above his own, was publicly mocked and humiliated, deserted by all his friends, beaten and scourged beyond recognition and nearly to the point of death, and was eventually murdered in the most heinous, socially shameful way for the well-being of the church... so if you think you're ready to have a wife submit to you, are you ready to be willing to love that wife as Christ truly loved the church?"
Perhaps this is a question we all must ask ourselves:
1. Women who are wanting a husband: "Am I willing to submit to him and serve him faithfully as God commands?"
2. Men who are wanting a wife: "Am I willing to protect and care for her even if it costs me my reputation and if need be, my own life? Am I willing to sacrifice my all in loving her?"
If we can't answer these questions with a "yes", honestly, from the heart... of if we think we can answer them with a yes but God knows otherwise... maybe this is why God hasn't brought some of us that special person yet.
I know the Bible says, "It is not good for the man to be alone," (I've heard that argued as a push for starting a relationship) but God also tells us to use wisdom and discernment in our decisions.
Although I know of many married people... I know of seemingly few happy marriages (both Christian and non-Christian). Sometimes I wonder if maybe God is waiting for us to be able to know we can live up to our end of the deal in a marriage before allowing us to meet the right person, but so many people (including myself at one point in life) are so driven by their own loneliness that we ignore God's guidelines and rush ahead, thinking we are ready when we have a long way to go...
And then pay a very heavy price for doing things our own way.
So, when a "good Christian man" "helpfully" "reminds" me of this, my reply is always, "Yes, the Bible says that wives are to submit to their husbands. But if you take the time to read the entire section that Paul wrote, the Bible also says that husbands are to loves their wives AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH AND GAVE HIMSELF UP FOR HER. In other words, have you read what Jesus went through in order to love the church? He was heavenly royalty who humbled himself to the position of a servant, put the needs of the church above his own, was publicly mocked and humiliated, deserted by all his friends, beaten and scourged beyond recognition and nearly to the point of death, and was eventually murdered in the most heinous, socially shameful way for the well-being of the church... so if you think you're ready to have a wife submit to you, are you ready to be willing to love that wife as Christ truly loved the church?"
Perhaps this is a question we all must ask ourselves:
1. Women who are wanting a husband: "Am I willing to submit to him and serve him faithfully as God commands?"
2. Men who are wanting a wife: "Am I willing to protect and care for her even if it costs me my reputation and if need be, my own life? Am I willing to sacrifice my all in loving her?"
If we can't answer these questions with a "yes", honestly, from the heart... of if we think we can answer them with a yes but God knows otherwise... maybe this is why God hasn't brought some of us that special person yet.
I know the Bible says, "It is not good for the man to be alone," (I've heard that argued as a push for starting a relationship) but God also tells us to use wisdom and discernment in our decisions.
Although I know of many married people... I know of seemingly few happy marriages (both Christian and non-Christian). Sometimes I wonder if maybe God is waiting for us to be able to know we can live up to our end of the deal in a marriage before allowing us to meet the right person, but so many people (including myself at one point in life) are so driven by their own loneliness that we ignore God's guidelines and rush ahead, thinking we are ready when we have a long way to go...
And then pay a very heavy price for doing things our own way.
K
I dont not believe that husbands and wives should be hitting each other... It is simply not good for the marriage...
Yes, it does happen and that is so unfortunate. We need a family unite that will Love on another and take care of one another... looking out for the best interest. When there is abuse that is not in the familys best interest.
Yes, it does happen and that is so unfortunate. We need a family unite that will Love on another and take care of one another... looking out for the best interest. When there is abuse that is not in the familys best interest.
M
In general I say it is wrong for a man to hit a woman or vice versa but there is the occasional circustance when it is neccesary, self defence being the obvious exception. I don't believe in letting someone hit me just because I am in general a non-violent person, we all have a right to defend ourselves against anyone who is being aggresive and if you let someone hit you they might begin to think it's O.K. and that can't be allowed to happen.
When it comes to children I think the situation is very different, abuse is one thing but smacking to discipline is normal and should be acceptable and I believe to not smack a child when discipline is needed is actually doing them a disservice that becomes apparent later in life.
I have a twin brother and a brother 2 years older and when we were young we were a nightmare for our parents and did a lot of things deserving of punishment and that punishment was always delivered, I know the difference between right and wrong because of how they raised me, it isn't pleseant but it is neccesary.
When it comes to children I think the situation is very different, abuse is one thing but smacking to discipline is normal and should be acceptable and I believe to not smack a child when discipline is needed is actually doing them a disservice that becomes apparent later in life.
I have a twin brother and a brother 2 years older and when we were young we were a nightmare for our parents and did a lot of things deserving of punishment and that punishment was always delivered, I know the difference between right and wrong because of how they raised me, it isn't pleseant but it is neccesary.
H
One should never spank their kid in anger, but with love. People can't figure out why their kids misbehave and are on drugs and getting teen pregnant etc. Man, if my parents had ever caught me doing drugs I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week. I got my first boyfriend when I was 14 and we'd each get a smack on the side of the head if we were holding hands or getting too snuggly. Sure, I hated it when I was a kid. No kid wants to get spanked, but that's the point. It instills a fear of punishment which is a really good deterrant when you're thinking of doing something you shouldn't. But,I think after you've punished them, it's a good idea to hug them, tell them you love them, and explain to them why they were being punished. It reinforces that you do it so THEY will grow up to be good people, not because you like hitting them or because you condone violence, etc.
L
I believe spanking works for some kids and not for others. I could spank my daughter till kingdom come and it wouldnt phase her. She actually prefers getting spanked, because even though its painful its over quick. Now if i sit her in time out she freaks out! And i really dont have any problems with her after that. I never responded to being spanked either, my brothers and sister did not as well. My dad would use a leather belt. It hurt sure, but like i said it was only temporary then we were back doin whatever bad thing it was that got us spanked in the first place. That was the punishment my parents usually did for us. and we were baaaad baaad kids! When we got older they started grounding us. and THAT worked! Also kids that are spanked alot, usually end up having a problem with hitting other children. So i really think it depends on the child.
I think its rediculas to spank your child or hit them whenever they do something wrong! Like, you tell the kid dont hit! then you go SMACK! you know.. how does that show a child not to hit someone if your constantly hitting them. Doesnt make sense to me.
I think its rediculas to spank your child or hit them whenever they do something wrong! Like, you tell the kid dont hit! then you go SMACK! you know.. how does that show a child not to hit someone if your constantly hitting them. Doesnt make sense to me.