I think there is a difference between being a nice guy and having an inferiority complex.
When a man is genuinely a nice guy, it is because he has laid aside his power and his strength. This is the origin of the word Gentleman. It is that he is a man first, who has chosen to be gentle.
However what I'm noticing is that a lot of men, are simply nice because they have no choice in the matter. If they are not nice they will get trampled by the herd of Christian Culture. So these men go with the flow and approach women sideways, feeding off of the scraps.
This is the only possible way they see to fall in love. They don't really believe in themselves, so they want pity, or friendship or opportunity. Anything that isn't confrontational. Cause they typically were raised by women, not to be like the jerks that hurt their mothers.
The idea of confronting a woman of interest with a token of affection before they have fallen in love with her, seems shallow or silly. They would rather wait until their own emotions have spiraled out of control, at which time they explode like a pea soup pressure cooker. And for that split second, they are who they wished they could be, and who they should have been all along.
Fear is a prime motivator. It tells us that for our actions there is negative consequences that would do us harm. Simply taking the path of least harm, will leave us feeling like nice guys finish last. Because most nice guys are simply trying to lose as little skin as possible.
However, women and relationships don't work that way. They cannot be won over, by calculating the least harmful approach to their love. Their love must inspire within us, a pursuit regardless of the cost socially, or culturally. This confidence that a man shows, to stare down fear and confidently pursue a woman, that is the difference between a Gentleman and a Nice guy.
A nice guy swoops in like a brother to give comfort when the opportunity arises and then tries to twist it around to being the object of a woman's affection. A nice guy is opportunistic.
A gentleman is honest and upfront about his intentions and his motivation. He is not going to try and persuade a woman of all the reasons why he is right for her, he is going to show her why he is right for her.
