A "Nice Guys Finish Last" Thread

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Praus

Praus

Banned
#21
Dec 21, 2012
2,982
40
0
#21
Erekson714 said:
*** is wrong with you ?
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Sigh...

-> http://christianchat.com/rules.php

"1. Nothing anti-Christian, or inappropriate for a Christian chat room or forum.

Please do not try to register any blasphemous or offensive nicknames. Also please do not engage in any blasphemous, profane, or improper talk, or any talk that is offensive to our Christian community."
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#22
#22
Art05 said:
*like*

Unfortunately, I feel that the "some" should be expanded to "many". Women as pretty depraved lol.
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I wouldn't go around saying that in front of women, or you will be the nice guy who finishes dead last. Women may think you're simply putting on a front.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#23
#23
ServantStrike said:
Christianity has proven without a doubt that nice guys do not finish last, in fact, blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Any woman looking for a proper spouse is looking for a man who lives in Christ first and foremost. That is, by definition, a nice guy. As long as he's not a push over, almost any man could have a chance with a woman who is looking for a Christian.


End of thread.
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Please, do not consider the following questions as a diatribe against your comment. I would like to gather more of your opinion:

"Christianity has proven without a doubt that nice guys do not finish last," ~ Who, what, when, where, why, and how?

"blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." ~ How does this beatitude have any relevance to the topic?

"Any woman looking for a proper spouse is looking for a man who lives in Christ first and foremost. That is, by definition, a nice guy." ~ And how did you arrive at this conclusion?

"As long as he's not a push over" ~ Please define what you term as a push-over.

"End of thread." haha Nope! Not yet!
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#24
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#24
Men and women can both be this way. I think Liamson's answer was a good one. Also, somehow... in this twisted world, if someone treats you badly, they are promoting themselves as being better than you. Which might make YOU think that they actually ARE better than you, if your self-esteem is low. And who doesn't want to be with someone who's better than themselves?

*shrug*
 
A

Art05

Guest
#25
#25
I ... I think I'm going to have to post up the questions again. Can't say I'm surprised lol.

Let's cut to the points:

Are nice guys finishing last in the Christian culture?

Should they be finishing last with Christian women?

Why don't Christian women like nice guys?

If Christian women are not interested in nice guys, but their opposites, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?

Are we "nice guys" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?

ALRIGHT then, choose as many as you wish, whichever you want, and have at it!
 
Grace-Like-Rain

Grace-Like-Rain

Senior Member
#26
Sep 6, 2013
4,430
117
63
#26
Art... let me 'splain something to you about how threads work. After they get going, and people respond, there is often discussion over the responses. It's not a questionnaire. It's a discussion forum.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#27
#27
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Men and women can both be this way. I think Liamson's answer was a good one. Also, somehow... in this twisted world, if someone treats you badly, they are promoting themselves as being better than you. Which might make YOU think that they actually ARE better than you, if your self-esteem is low. And who doesn't want to be with someone who's better than themselves?

*shrug*
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Although I do not disagree with this, I do consider it as an irrelevant conclusion.

This is why I had to repost the questions ....

[facepalm] haha.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#28
#28
Grace-Like-Rain said:
Art... let me 'splain something to you about how threads work. After they get going, and people respond, there is often discussion over the responses. It's not a questionnaire. It's a discussion forum.
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Right, in order to discuss the original post, which just happened to have questions.

... :confused:


Somebody'll get it.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#29
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#29
Art05 said:
Please, do not consider the following questions as a diatribe against your comment. I would like to gather more of your opinion:

"Christianity has proven without a doubt that nice guys do not finish last," ~ Who, what, when, where, why, and how?

"blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." ~ How does this beatitude have any relevance to the topic?

"Any woman looking for a proper spouse is looking for a man who lives in Christ first and foremost. That is, by definition, a nice guy." ~ And how did you arrive at this conclusion?

"As long as he's not a push over" ~ Please define what you term as a push-over.

"End of thread." haha Nope! Not yet!
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This is really all about semantics and context.

Are we going to use biblical definitions, worldly definitions, biblical definitions about the earthly realm, biblical definitions about the spiritual realm, worldly definitions about the earthly realm, worldly definitions about the philosophical realm, or a confusing combination of everything?

Utter chaos.

We haven't set any parameters, so until we do, nobody gets a pass.

I would prefer to restate this entire question in a more biblical way, so it's not so confusing.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#30
#30
Liamson said:
I think there is a difference between being a nice guy and having an inferiority complex.

When a man is genuinely a nice guy, it is because he has laid aside his power and his strength. This is the origin of the word Gentleman. It is that he is a man first, who has chosen to be gentle.

However what I'm noticing is that a lot of men, are simply nice because they have no choice in the matter. If they are not nice they will get trampled by the herd of Christian Culture. So these men go with the flow and approach women sideways, feeding off of the scraps.

This is the only possible way they see to fall in love. They don't really believe in themselves, so they want pity, or friendship or opportunity. Anything that isn't confrontational. Cause they typically were raised by women, not to be like the jerks that hurt their mothers.

The idea of confronting a woman of interest with a token of affection before they have fallen in love with her, seems shallow or silly. They would rather wait until their own emotions have spiraled out of control, at which time they explode like a pea soup pressure cooker. And for that split second, they are who they wished they could be, and who they should have been all along.


Fear is a prime motivator. It tells us that for our actions there is negative consequences that would do us harm. Simply taking the path of least harm, will leave us feeling like nice guys finish last. Because most nice guys are simply trying to lose as little skin as possible.

However, women and relationships don't work that way. They cannot be won over, by calculating the least harmful approach to their love. Their love must inspire within us, a pursuit regardless of the cost socially, or culturally. This confidence that a man shows, to stare down fear and confidently pursue a woman, that is the difference between a Gentleman and a Nice guy.

A nice guy swoops in like a brother to give comfort when the opportunity arises and then tries to twist it around to being the object of a woman's affection. A nice guy is opportunistic.

A gentleman is honest and upfront about his intentions and his motivation. He is not going to try and persuade a woman of all the reasons why he is right for her, he is going to show her why he is right for her.
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"When a man is genuinely a nice guy, it is because he has laid aside his power and his strength. This is the origin of the word Gentleman. It is that he is a man first, who has chosen to be gentle. However what I'm noticing is that a lot of men, are simply nice because they have no choice in the matter. If they are not nice they will get trampled by the herd of Christian Culture. So these men go with the flow and approach women sideways, feeding off of the scraps." ~ I'm sorry, Liamson, but I'm confused. Are you making two distinct types of men, the nice guy and the gentleman? Can these two types not be mixed? Because, if they can, then your point falls to the ground.

"So these men go with the flow and approach women sideways, feeding off of the scraps." ~ I have absolutely no idea of what you mean.

"Cause they typically were raised by women, not to be like the jerks that hurt their mothers" ~ Ah, very interesting. So alot of what you consider to be nice guys are in the wrong, and they are so because of their mothers. But, since it is unChristian to be a jerk that hurts women (especially someone's mom), then why shouldn't a nice guy try, then, to be a nice guy will all he has?

"The idea of confronting a woman of interest with a token of affection before they have fallen in love with her, seems shallow or silly. They would rather wait until their own emotions have spiraled out of control, at which time they explode like a pea soup pressure cooker. And for that split second, they are who they wished they could be, and who they should have been all along." ~ More statements that make absolutely no sense to me.

More to come ....
 
A

Art05

Guest
#31
#31
maxwel said:
This is really all about semantics and context.

Are we going to use biblical definitions, worldly definitions, biblical definitions about the earthly realm, biblical definitions about the spiritual realm, worldly definitions about the earthly realm, worldly definitions about the philosophical realm, or a confusing combination of everything?

Utter chaos.

We haven't set any parameters, so until we do, nobody gets a pass.

I would prefer to restate this entire question in a more biblical way, so it's not so confusing.
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I was beginning to have the same feelings, Maxwel!

Everyone seems to have differing opinions and definitions, and everyone seems to consider themselves experts on the nice guy (ironically, even women).
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#32
#32
Art05 said:
Please, do not consider the following questions as a diatribe against your comment. I would like to gather more of your opinion:

"Christianity has proven without a doubt that nice guys do not finish last," ~ Who, what, when, where, why, and how?

"blessed are the meek, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." ~ How does this beatitude have any relevance to the topic?

"Any woman looking for a proper spouse is looking for a man who lives in Christ first and foremost. That is, by definition, a nice guy." ~ And how did you arrive at this conclusion?

"As long as he's not a push over" ~ Please define what you term as a push-over.

"End of thread." haha Nope! Not yet!
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Liamson already defined push over quite nicely when he discussed the difference between a nice guy and a gentleman.

A push over takes no for an answer. That's bad. Sometimes you have to try again - once more, with feeling. And the push over goes into the conversation expecting to hear the word no, and that lack of confidence shows, and kills things. The push over comes across as weak and needy, rather than as someone who is a mature adult seeking a relationship.

It's really easy to stop being a push over too. You hold on to the promises God has already given you - and you remind yourself that yes, you can do this and yes, you are worth this. Men have been discovering ways to get themselves amped up for thousands of years - whether it's going into battle or winning the affections of a woman. Get in touch with that the best way possible - be a man of God.



How do I know that a woman who is a Christian looks for a man who loves Christ? Because men are the spiritual head of the household, and because that is the one thing I've learned. Some confused women are looking for a bad boy who they can fix, but most of the women who are serious about settling down do not want a jerk, they want someone who is actually available emotionally and will honor and protect them as a Christian husband should.


Things don't just happen all of the time. Sometimes we need to make them happen.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#33
#33
Erekson714 said:
***is wrong with you ?:mad:

I guess you like mean and evil how about you go to war one day and face a real enemy like a military as powerful as the us like Russia and tell me you like jerks :rolleyes:
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Please don't use things like ***. Site owner does not prefer them.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#34
#34
Err.... just saw Praus thinger there about it yeah.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#35
#35
Liamson said:
Fear is a prime motivator. It tells us that for our actions there is negative consequences that would do us harm. Simply taking the path of least harm, will leave us feeling like nice guys finish last. Because most nice guys are simply trying to lose as little skin as possible.

However, women and relationships don't work that way. They cannot be won over, by calculating the least harmful approach to their love. Their love must inspire within us, a pursuit regardless of the cost socially, or culturally. This confidence that a man shows, to stare down fear and confidently pursue a woman, that is the difference between a Gentleman and a Nice guy.

A nice guy swoops in like a brother to give comfort when the opportunity arises and then tries to twist it around to being the object of a woman's affection. A nice guy is opportunistic.

A gentleman is honest and upfront about his intentions and his motivation. He is not going to try and persuade a woman of all the reasons why he is right for her, he is going to show her why he is right for her.
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"Fear is a prime motivator. It tells us that for our actions there is negative consequences that would do us harm. Simply taking the path of least harm, will leave us feeling like nice guys finish last. Because most nice guys are simply trying to lose as little skin as possible." ~ A good observation. But, are not we, as Christians, commanded to fear evil and rashness? Consider the following verse, A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished; have you noticed the word foreseeth? This goes along well with another verse, Happy is the man that feareth alway: but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief.

Along with this, the young have been told for years (especially the young ladies) to keep their hearts, guard their hearts; is this what you are accusing the nice guy of? Of guarding his heart from potential harm? Shouldn't we all try to lose as little skin as possible? We are like this in all other affairs, and that is wisdom; and why shouldn't be wise in these affairs?

"A nice guy swoops in like a brother to give comfort when the opportunity arises and then tries to twist it around to being the object of a woman's affection. A nice guy is opportunistic. A gentleman is honest and upfront about his intentions and his motivation. He is not going to try and persuade a woman of all the reasons why he is right for her, he is going to show her why he is right for her." ~ At this point, I begin to become confused with your comparison. How is it that the nice guy here suffers from an inferiority complex? Are you condemning the nice guy for being a good brother in Christ, a good friend, and be a comforter in anyone's time of distress? And are you, at the same time, saying that a gentleman is none of this? I'm sorry, but I must disagree.

"He is not going to try and persuade a woman of all the reasons why he is right for her, he is going to show her why he is right for her." ~ And I believe that a nice guy is doing the same, but always seems to get the short end of the stick.

I'm sorry, but your contrast of the gentleman and the nice guy simply doesn't work.

God bless!
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#36
Feb 18, 2013
1,294
26
0
#36
You and maxwel are right, Art, in that "nice guy" is a term that can be defined in many different ways and from many different perspectives. For clarity's sake, what is your definition of a "nice guy"?
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#40
#40
ServantStrike said:
Erekson714 said:
Not sure where you're going with that. If that's a personal attack, don't do it.

Can we just get back on topic?
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Because that rule talks about inappropriate things on CC, like certain language or speech, for instance. And since Erekson accidentally said something, he was politely corrected. And then it was over. So yeah, it was right for him to be corrected and then he was apologizing. It didn't really change the topic.
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