A "Nice Guys Finish Last" Thread

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Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#41
Jan 26, 2013
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#41
Erekson714 said:
*** is wrong with you ?:mad:

I guess you like mean and evil how about you go to war one day and face a real enemy like a military as powerful as the us like Russia and tell me you like jerks :rolleyes:
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I was being sarcastic. I don't like jerks. My husband is a nice man and I love him. I'm tired of reading, why do women only like jerk threads. Most women, especially the one's on this site don't like jerks. If they did half of them wouldn't be virgins anymore.

What do you expect these you women to say Art? I have horrible self esteem, that's why I only date jerks???
 
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ProphetExcalibur

ProphetExcalibur

Senior Member
#42
Oct 12, 2012
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#42
Art05 said:
I ... I think I'm going to have to post up the questions again. Can't say I'm surprised lol.

Let's cut to the points:

Are nice guys finishing last in the Christian culture?

Should they be finishing last with Christian women?

Why don't Christian women like nice guys?

If Christian women are not interested in nice guys, but their opposites, then who is to blame: the guys or the girls?

Are we "nice guys" because we are devoted to Jesus, and not in pleasing the feminine lusts of the flesh?

ALRIGHT then, choose as many as you wish, whichever you want, and have at it!
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Nice work Art05! I don't care if you have to post your questions 15 more times on your own thread. There not answering your questions, stay after them! Good work! many blessings!
 
A

Art05

Guest
#43
#43
ServantStrike said:
Liamson already defined push over quite nicely when he discussed the difference between a nice guy and a gentleman.

A push over takes no for an answer. That's bad. Sometimes you have to try again - once more, with feeling. And the push over goes into the conversation expecting to hear the word no, and that lack of confidence shows, and kills things. The push over comes across as weak and needy, rather than as someone who is a mature adult seeking a relationship.

It's really easy to stop being a push over too. You hold on to the promises God has already given you - and you remind yourself that yes, you can do this and yes, you are worth this. Men have been discovering ways to get themselves amped up for thousands of years - whether it's going into battle or winning the affections of a woman. Get in touch with that the best way possible - be a man of God.



How do I know that a woman who is a Christian looks for a man who loves Christ? Because men are the spiritual head of the household, and because that is the one thing I've learned. Some confused women are looking for a bad boy who they can fix, but most of the women who are serious about settling down do not want a jerk, they want someone who is actually available emotionally and will honor and protect them as a Christian husband should.


Things don't just happen all of the time. Sometimes we need to make them happen.
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"Liamson already defined push over quite nicely when he discussed the difference between a nice guy and a gentleman." ~ If you read my responses to Liamson, I've attempted to explain as to why such a contrast just simply doesn't work.

"A push over takes no for an answer. That's bad." ~ I don't think so. Why shouldn't we take no for an answer? Consider the following dialogue:

Man: So I actually took the chance and tried to get together with her, but she said that she didn't like me like that. She said that she appreciated our friendship just like it is. What do I do, pastor?

Pastor: Well, don't worry about it; after all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Servant, this is what I myself have been told, and this is what, I feel, we should do. Why should we pursue someone that clearly is not attracted to us? Doesn't make sense.

" And the push over goes into the conversation expecting to hear the word no, and that lack of confidence shows, and kills things." I'm sorry, but I really don't think this is true. I feel that nice guys are triers, and just because they do try, does not negate their niceness, so to speak. Being a nice guy has to do with character, reaction, and perspective, and alot has to do with the women of the culture.

Yes, I am calling the women to the stand lol. I'm not leaving them off the hook.

More later.
 
Praus

Praus

Banned
#44
Dec 21, 2012
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#44
Erekson714 said:
Heyy I didn't know "Maxwell" guided me sorry guys :(
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Turanga Maxwel.

in regione caecorum rex est luscus ("in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king") --Erasmus, Adagia (1500)

 maxwil.jpg


On a serious note, expect that Christians will detect untoward language very quickly.

James 1:26 If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion [is] vain.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#45
#45
ProphetExcalibur said:
Nice work Art05! I don't care if you have to post your questions 15 more times on your own thread. There not answering your questions, stay after them! Good work! many blessings!
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*like*

lol
 
S

ServantStrike

Guest
#46
#46
ProphetExcalibur said:
Nice work Art05! I don't care if you have to post your questions 15 more times on your own thread. There not answering your questions, stay after them! Good work! many blessings!
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Wait, what?

Stay after who? Is this a competition all of a sudden? And last I checked the questions were being answered - except for why don't Christian women like nice guys, because the premise is flawed (that Christian women don't like them).
 
A

Art05

Guest
#47
#47
ServantStrike said:
Wait, what?

Stay after who? Is this a competition all of a sudden? And last I checked the questions were being answered - except for why don't Christian women like nice guys, because the premise is flawed (that Christian women don't like them).
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I corrected this question in earlier in this thread, Servant.

It's still answerable, though ;)
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#48
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#48
ProphetExcalibur said:
Nice work Art05! I don't care if you have to post your questions 15 more times on your own thread. There not answering your questions, stay after them! Good work! many blessings!
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I used to date jerks, I had horrible self esteem problems, I hated myself. That's why I dated jerks. Most people in that position aren't going to open up and say, I hate myself.

But that is why men or women date jerks. The jerk knows how to push buttons and guilt people into staying too. That is why people date jerks. Oh and most jerks have self esteem problems too.

I can also say, if you are a jerk or your dating a jerk, you aren't really listening to the Lord, because he doesn't want you dating a jerk.

I hope that answers the question.
 
A

Art05

Guest
#49
#49
Fenner said:
I used to date jerks, I had horrible self esteem problems, I hated myself. That's why I dated jerks. Most people in that position aren't going to open up and say, I hate myself.

But that is why men or women date jerks. The jerk knows how to push buttons and guilt people into staying too. That is why people date jerks. Oh and most jerks have self esteem problems too.

I can also say, if you are a jerk or your dating a jerk, you aren't really listening to the Lord, because he doesn't want you dating a jerk.

I hope that answers the question.
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Jerks date jerks ;)

Got it.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#50
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#50
In my experience this is how a nice guy pursues a woman...



He slides up like a snake. He comforts her like a brother in Christ but his aim is not comfort. He is opportunistic like a vulture. And like a hyena, he preys on the weak and the vulnerable. Ever watchful for a loophole to get closer in a woman's time of need.

He is afraid. The only fear, we should have is of God. But he is afraid of being exposed. He is nice because he has an agenda. He is nice and pleasant because these are just means to an end. He glosses over hard truths with pretty words that flatter. He is pleasant and courteous to everyone, but these charms only disguise who he is.



All these mind games and jockeying for position to be a "brother in christ" is just shadowplay. Until the moment comes when this nice guy can be more than a brother in Christ. But he is many things to many people, rarely the same for everyone.

Because real honor and real integrity is missing. He may open doors and smile, but this a gentleman does not him make.
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#52
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#52
Liamson said:
In my experience this is how a nice guy pursues a woman...



He slides up like a snake. He comforts her like a brother in Christ but his aim is not comfort. He is opportunistic like a vulture. And like a hyena, he preys on the weak and the vulnerable. Ever watchful for a loophole to get closer in a woman's time of need.

He is afraid. The only fear, we should have is of God. But he is afraid of being exposed. He is nice because he has an agenda. He is nice and pleasant because these are just means to an end. He glosses over hard truths with pretty words that flatter. He is pleasant and courteous to everyone, but these charms only disguise who he is.



All these mind games and jockeying for position to be a "brother in christ" is just shadowplay. Until the moment comes when this nice guy can be more than a brother in Christ. But he is many things to many people, rarely the same for everyone.

Because real honor and real integrity is missing. He may open doors and smile, but this a gentleman does not him make.
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Bro,

Good observation.
I've seen that happen too.
Of course it's awful.

I just don't think I'd define this as a "nice guy" lol.

We need to define out terms.
:)
 
Loveneverfails

Loveneverfails

Senior Member
#53
Feb 18, 2013
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#53
maxwel said:
We need to define out terms.
:)
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I SO agree, which is why I politely asked Art05 to share his definition, if only because he's the one asking the questions. Maybe he just didn't see my post. :)
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#54
Sep 17, 2013
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Georgia
#54
Fenner was just joking.. :/
 
T

Tintin

Guest
#55
#55
In my experience nice guys have good intentions but little confidence. They find themselves in the friendzone often. I should know, I used to be a nice guy. Now, I want to be a godly man, not nice.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#56
Feb 3, 2010
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#56
According to Wikipedia:

Nice guy is a term in the general public discourse and in popular culture describing an adult or teenage male with friendly yet unassertive personality traits in the context of a relationship with a woman.[SUP][1][/SUP] As a description "nice guy" is used both positively or negatively.[SUP][2][/SUP] When used positively (and particularly when used as a self-descriptor), it is intended to imply a male who puts the needs of others before his own, avoids confrontations, does favors, gives emotional support, tries to get out of trouble, and generally acts nicely towards women.[SUP][3][/SUP] In the context of a relationship, it may also refer to traits of honesty, loyalty, romanticism, courtesy and respect. When used in a negative context (usually capitalised), a "Nice Guy" implies a male who is unassertive, does not express his true feelings and uses acts of ostensible friendship with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.
 
Praus

Praus

Banned
#57
Dec 21, 2012
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#57
Tintin said:
Now, I want to be a godly man, not nice.
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phin_dawg.jpg


Num 25:6-8 And behold, one of the people of Israel came and brought a Midianite woman to his family, in the sight of Moses and in the sight of the whole congregation of the people of Israel, while they were weeping in the entrance of the tent of meeting. When Phinehas the son of Eleazar, son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he rose and left the congregation and took a spear in his hand and went after the man of Israel into the chamber and pierced both of them, the man of Israel and the woman through her belly. ...
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#58
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
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#58
Liamson had my utmost respect until I caught him reading wikipedia.
:)


But actually this is fine.

Maybe we should define it a couple of different ways, and explore both definitions.

Maybe use the common "worldy" definition,
and also give more of a biblical definition.
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#59
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#59
Liamson said:
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You leave Petyr Baelish out of this that man is terrific.
Lord Varys: A thousand blades, taken from the hands of Aegon's fallen enemies. Forged in the fiery breath of Balerion the Dread.
Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish: There aren't a thousand blades. There aren't even two hundred. I've counted.
Lord Varys: Heh. I'm sure you have. Ugly old thing.
Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish: It has a certain appeal.
Lord Varys: The Lysa Arryn of chairs. Shame you had to settle for your second choice.
Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish: Early days, my friend. It is flattering really, you feeling such dread at the prospect of me getting what I want.
Lord Varys: Thwarting you has never been my primary ambition, I promise you. Although, who doesn't like to see their friends fail now and then.
Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish: You're so right. For instance, when I thwarted your plan to give Sansa Stark to the Tyrells, if I'm going to be honest, I did feel an unmistakable sense of enjoyment there. But your confidant, the one who fed you information about my plans, the one you swore to protect... you didn't bring her any enjoyment, and she didn't bring me any enjoyment. She was a bad investment on my part. Luckily, I have a friend who wanted to try something new. Something daring. And he was so grateful to me for providing this fresh experience.
Lord Varys: I did what I did for the good of the realm.
Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish: The realm. Do you know what the realm is? It's the thousand blades of Aegon's enemies, a story we agree to tell each other over and over, until we forget that it's a lie.
Lord Varys: But what do we have left, once we abandon the lie? Chaos? A gaping pit waiting to swallow us all.
Petyr 'Littlefinger' Baelish: Chaos isn't a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some, are given a chance to climb. They refuse, they cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.



He is also completely and utterly evil, but its okay.

As far as nice guys, normally 'nice guys' are wimps, Pushovers, what have you. Christian or not, women arent looking at them as guys who can provide from them and children or lead them.
 
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