christians dating non christians

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R

reborn_again

Guest
#1
#1
hi,

so im kinda in a situation where i like this guy and he likes me. sadly hes not very religious and i am. nothing will change my faith but i like him and could see myself dating him. Is it wrong to date a non christian? I know 2 corinthians 6:14 says not to be yoked with unbelievers but theres always that chance that they will convert to christianity through Gods calling. Ive also read about "Missionary dating" im just confused and would like some opinions on what I should do. at this point im kinda thinking whatever happens happens but im standing strong in my faith and not going to be afraid to express it
 
rachelsedge

rachelsedge

Senior Member
#2
Oct 15, 2012
3,659
81
48
34
#2
It's generally highly discouraged.

Dating should be for the purpose of finding a suitable partner for marriage. Believers are not to marry unbelievers, so why date one? Sure, there's a chance that he may convert during the time that you date, but what a high risk; what a gamble on something so deeply important. This isn't a difference of, "He likes Mexican food but I like Chinese food." This is a difference of a foundation of beliefs. He cannot be a spiritual leader in the household (once married, and that is Biblical) if he doesn't even believe the same as you and follow the Word.

Please also understand that there's a difference between "being religious" and being a follower of Christ. It's very important that someone's faith is real to them and not just doing religious things.

My advice: Wait. Wait for someone who shares that passion in God to walk beside you with Him, together. I know it's difficult when you both like each other, but for the sake of your heart, you need to be with a fellow believer.
 
E

Erekson714

Guest
#3
#3
Well im not going to make the choice as whether or not you should date him or not, but you should decide for yourself whether this guy is worth the trouble of problems you may have down the line if he doesn't have faith in the lord.
 
Y

Yasho777

Guest
#4
#4
Well, the thing is simple.....Merry me ;) lol! Just kidding! I stay with what u read in 2 Corinthians 6:14, and thats God word...I mean is infallible, all other books are inspired by man, and man kind is so fallible even some books have some apparent "wisdom" on it, if it contradicts the word of the creator is not a good advice to follow.. God gave u free will, but His advice is not to yoke with unbelievers. We don't know anyones heart, just God...and they can hear the word of God for years, but if there heart is far, those are going to be seeds that fall on pavement and never gave fruit. I had the same problem some years ago, I met an unbeliever girl and in my heart I knew I had to be his friend and wait to see if she comes to Christ, but I skipped steps, and started a relationship with her, talked to her about Christ day and night, date after date and nothing happened. I wasted my time, money, feelings and most important through the time I have being disconnected with God... How is written in Romans 5:13 "I'll have mercy on whomever I choose to have mercy." That said the Lord, And thats because Only He knows if that person is willing to know the creator or he or she wants nothing with Him. My advice is first preach him, if he becomes a Child of God, U have won a brother and maybe a good HUSBAND! :D If not, ull win a friend. ;)

Shalom! ANd continue being that Witness for JesusChrist!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
alexis

alexis

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
#5
Dec 5, 2013
501
23
0
#5
I'm too young to date and not ready...

So here are my useless thoughts... I don't think he could change your faith. At the same time he does not believe what you believe in, therefore he may be okay with things you are not. This will lead to different wants in the relationship.

Like for me I am saving myself for marriage. I would think way more Christian guys would respect that than non-believers.

Last we can change no one but ourselves. Of course he could convert. You may lead him to Jesus. I would try to do that as a friend. I just would never think, 'hey I'll date that guy and he will see my love for Jesus and believe.'

Best of luck!
love you,
lexi
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
#6
reborn_again said:
hi,

so im kinda in a situation where i like this guy and he likes me. sadly hes not very religious and i am. nothing will change my faith but i like him and could see myself dating him. Is it wrong to date a non christian? I know 2 corinthians 6:14 says not to be yoked with unbelievers but theres always that chance that they will convert to christianity through Gods calling. Ive also read about "Missionary dating" im just confused and would like some opinions on what I should do. at this point im kinda thinking whatever happens happens but im standing strong in my faith and not going to be afraid to express it
Click to expand...
Missionary dating is pure crap. Basically you convince someone to invest in you emotionally in an attempt to turn them into what YOU want. Its rather selfish and holds no biblical support whatsoever.

If you date a non-Christian consider your future.
-Will you want to be in love with someone you know is going to hell? How will this weigh on you each day?
-What will you teach your children? Will he have a problem with you raising them as Christian? And if not how will you explain to your children that you made a choice to be with someone who does not share your beliefs, that you claim are so very important, but not so important you expect it in their father? How will you tell me that you chose their dad, and he's going to hell?
-So what if he 'might' convert. He might not. How long will you stay with him before you decide to break his heart and dump him because he isn't what you wanted him to become?
-If he were to find out you are dating him with the intent of changing him, how would he feel?
-If you aren't happy with him how he is, are you really happy with him? Should you go into a relationship with the intent to change the person to be what you want?
-What if he 'converts' but only to make you happy, and it is not a genuine change, not truly saved?

Dating an unsaved person brings up a list of potential problems. Look through these questions and ask yourself if that is the life that you want. If that is the kind of mindset you think reflects a healthy, selfless, caring, loving relationship.
Missionary dating is selfishness. You want a surefire way to hurt someone and ruin a relationship before it starts? Date them with the intent to change them.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#7
Sep 17, 2013
5,539
2,713
113
Georgia
#7
Ugly said:
Missionary dating is pure crap. Basically you convince someone to invest in you emotionally in an attempt to turn them into what YOU want. Its rather selfish and holds no biblical support whatsoever.

If you date a non-Christian consider your future.
-Will you want to be in love with someone you know is going to hell? How will this weigh on you each day?
-What will you teach your children? Will he have a problem with you raising them as Christian? And if not how will you explain to your children that you made a choice to be with someone who does not share your beliefs, that you claim are so very important, but not so important you expect it in their father? How will you tell me that you chose their dad, and he's going to hell?
-So what if he 'might' convert. He might not. How long will you stay with him before you decide to break his heart and dump him because he isn't what you wanted him to become?
-If he were to find out you are dating him with the intent of changing him, how would he feel?
-If you aren't happy with him how he is, are you really happy with him? Should you go into a relationship with the intent to change the person to be what you want?
-What if he 'converts' but only to make you happy, and it is not a genuine change, not truly saved?

Dating an unsaved person brings up a list of potential problems. Look through these questions and ask yourself if that is the life that you want. If that is the kind of mindset you think reflects a healthy, selfless, caring, loving relationship.
Missionary dating is selfishness. You want a surefire way to hurt someone and ruin a relationship before it starts? Date them with the intent to change them.
Click to expand...
My thought on this subject always go to the future children.... Very well put
 
R

reborn_again

Guest
#8
#8
thanks i never really heard of "missionary dating" until i looked online and im not really sure wha i think of it. i dont want to change anyone for my own glory or selfishness. i want people to see and love God and for them to know that God loves them.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#9
#9
reborn_again said:
thanks i never really heard of "missionary dating" until i looked online and im not really sure wha i think of it. i dont want to change anyone for my own glory or selfishness. i want people to see and love God and for them to know that God loves them.
Click to expand...
But see, when you get emotionally involved it becomes very difficult to distinguish between wanting them to change for themselves and wanting them to change for your own reasons. Its always best to make their salvation the priority. And let God decide if he wants to bring you together farther down the road. Especially as a woman, if the man is to be the spiritual head of your household how can he do that if he's newly saved?
 
alexis

alexis

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
#10
Dec 5, 2013
501
23
0
#10
reborn_again said:
thanks i never really heard of "missionary dating" until i looked online and im not really sure wha i think of it. i dont want to change anyone for my own glory or selfishness. i want people to see and love God and for them to know that God loves them.
Click to expand...
Okay I know I commented once but couldn't not say this...

You are so sweet and amazing! There is this guy out there that is worthy of your company, make sure that's who you give it to..

Hoping you feel all the love in everyone's comments!

This isn't coming out right, trying to say: in every word you write I see the love of God you want to share!
love you,
lexi
 
G

Grey

Guest
#11
#11
I don't think relationships should be segregated.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#12
#12
alexis said:
So here are my useless thoughts... I don't think he could change your faith.
Click to expand...
You're going to be terribly disappointed, young lady, when you look into the world and see just how many Christians have wandered away from their faith...all because they were in lurrrrrrve. Many are still out there. Some of us get broken in the worst way, and only come crawling back to the faith feeling worse than the Prodigal Son.

There's more than a few of those people I just described who are here now.
 
F

FireWire

Guest
#13
#13
So the question pops up yet again and somebody will ask it again and again.

Bible says no. End of story.
 
alexis

alexis

Banned by Admin Team (verified fraud)
#14
Dec 5, 2013
501
23
0
#14
Shouryu said:
You're going to be terribly disappointed, young lady, when you look into the world and see just how many Christians have wandered away from their faith...all because they were in lurrrrrrve. Many are still out there. Some of us get broken in the worst way, and only come crawling back to the faith feeling worse than the Prodigal Son.

There's more than a few of those people I just described who are here now.
Click to expand...
That is so sad :(

Don't worry if I do date someday long from now I will date a believer... Or stay single if that is God's plan...
You make a good point me thinks... If we want anything too much be it companionship or success... It may be easy to step from Christ's teaching... For me the answer is Christ is my companion, my joy is pleasing and loving as He said to.

It may be easier to do at my age now.... Gonna have to be like Pipp when I grow up! She is gonna be like me ;) and I'm gonna be like her... I know that's complicated :)

This is a great point you've made as to why to date a believer!

Your Awesome and I love you,
lexi
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#15
Sep 17, 2013
5,539
2,713
113
Georgia
#15
alexis said:
That is so sad :(

Don't worry if I do date someday long from now I will date a believer... Or stay single if that is God's plan...
You make a good point me thinks... If we want anything too much be it companionship or success... It may be easy to step from Christ's teaching... For me the answer is Christ is my companion, my joy is pleasing and loving as He said to.

It may be easier to do at my age now.... Gonna have to be like Pipp when I grow up! She is gonna be like me ;) and I'm gonna be like her... I know that's complicated :)

This is a great point you've made as to why to date a believer!

Your Awesome and I love you,
lexi
Click to expand...

I have a great Idea.... you pray for me and I'll pray for you :) I'm so glad God sent you this way. You have encouraged my heart . I love you <3
 
maxwel

maxwel

Senior Member
#16
Apr 18, 2013
9,526
2,608
113
#16
Ugly said:
Missionary dating is pure crap. Basically you convince someone to invest in you emotionally in an attempt to turn them into what YOU want. Its rather selfish and holds no biblical support whatsoever.

If you date a non-Christian consider your future.
-Will you want to be in love with someone you know is going to hell? How will this weigh on you each day?
-What will you teach your children? Will he have a problem with you raising them as Christian? And if not how will you explain to your children that you made a choice to be with someone who does not share your beliefs, that you claim are so very important, but not so important you expect it in their father? How will you tell me that you chose their dad, and he's going to hell?
-So what if he 'might' convert. He might not. How long will you stay with him before you decide to break his heart and dump him because he isn't what you wanted him to become?
-If he were to find out you are dating him with the intent of changing him, how would he feel?
-If you aren't happy with him how he is, are you really happy with him? Should you go into a relationship with the intent to change the person to be what you want?
-What if he 'converts' but only to make you happy, and it is not a genuine change, not truly saved?

Dating an unsaved person brings up a list of potential problems. Look through these questions and ask yourself if that is the life that you want. If that is the kind of mindset you think reflects a healthy, selfless, caring, loving relationship.
Missionary dating is selfishness. You want a surefire way to hurt someone and ruin a relationship before it starts? Date them with the intent to change them.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately, this list of horrible problems Ugly mentions...
it's just the tip of the iceberg.

The more you examine it, the worse it gets.

You know why the Israelites were originally told not to marry unbelievers?
God say it would turn them away from God, and corrupt them spiritually...
and it did.

Remember Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived?
What was it that turned his heart away from God?
It was pagan wives... unbelievers.

No matter how strong we think we are... we become like the people we hang around.

Getting into a relationship with an unbeliever is not something to toy with.
 
S

Shouryu

Guest
#17
#17
maxwel said:
No matter how strong we think we are... we become like the people we hang around.

Getting into a relationship with an unbeliever is not something to toy with.
Click to expand...
It really does boil down to Ugly's signature, doesn't it? "What you embrace is what you become."
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#18
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#18
I'm older than you and I have also failed dating Chrisitans and not Christians.

You can be unequally yoked (and married) to those wrong persons. The "problem" could be within you or the other, although the religion could lessen some personal fails to keep on walking together (Amos 3:3).

If you read my last blogs on here you can see my failures in choosing someone, although I could be the wrong person someone could be picking from many worst (or better). (I'm not the best person between the worst).

Matching is a gift given by God, just learn from you and others (Iron sharpesn iron) and that person for you is somewhere there for you to pray to be "perfect" just for you. Perhaps he is experiencing the same like you, trying to get you (too).
 
R

rainin

Guest
#19
#19
maxwel said:
Unfortunately, this list of horrible problems Ugly mentions...
it's just the tip of the iceberg.

The more you examine it, the worse it gets.

You know why the Israelites were originally told not to marry unbelievers?
God say it would turn them away from God, and corrupt them spiritually...
and it did.

Remember Solomon, the wisest man who ever lived?
What was it that turned his heart away from God?
It was pagan wives... unbelievers.

No matter how strong we think we are... we become like the people we hang around.

Getting into a relationship with an unbeliever is not something to toy with.
Click to expand...

Amen to all of the above....I married a non believer. Trust me....it's a huge mistake and I will suffer the consequences for many years to come. Although we are now divorced, that doesn't mean those consequences will just end. I will reap what I have sown for the rest of my life. That one stupid decision has affected everything in my life right down to my relationship with the Lord at times. It was definitely not a good idea.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#20
#20
reborn_again said:
hi,

so im kinda in a situation where i like this guy and he likes me. sadly hes not very religious and i am. nothing will change my faith but i like him and could see myself dating him. Is it wrong to date a non christian? I know 2 corinthians 6:14 says not to be yoked with unbelievers but theres always that chance that they will convert to christianity through Gods calling. Ive also read about "Missionary dating" im just confused and would like some opinions on what I should do. at this point im kinda thinking whatever happens happens but im standing strong in my faith and not going to be afraid to express it
Click to expand...
You've answered your own question. God says don't yoke yourself to a non-believer, in dating one you'd be doing that very thing He tells you not to do. There is NO BUT, God changes people, we don't. God may choose to use you in changing this mans heart through a friendship.

Another thing to note is that saying "nothing would change my faith", is a challenge for the enemy. I've noticed people around me say things to this extent and then they crumble. If you let the world in, even just a bit now, it will make it harder for you and in turn it will change your faith in a different way (even if the change is simply that your faith is constantly being tested).

Seek God in all you do. God bless!
 
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