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G
Ah, no problem with the door, but DON'T break on through to the other side, just knock and it shall be opened for you, catplayingmusicianherder. The Lord leads. The Lord opens doors, too, even, if need be, fixes them, or, worst case scenario, He will replace that 'door' with one nicer than the one before . 
"Nice" and "A nice guy" are different.
In the same way that Real and Winner are both positive attributes. But placed in the same relative clause have the opposite meaning. Saying he's a real winner, does not mean that in fact a person is actually successful.
In the same way that in the Navy referring to someone as a Shipmate is a negative term, even though by definition it is a positive one.
This whole concept is based off of something being an Auto-Antonym. A word or phrase which means its opposite under different contexts.
In the same way that Inflammable can mean capable of being burned or fireproof. Or Off can being something is not on or like the alarm went off. Or to screen means to show or to hide.
So in the case of being a nice guy. Its typically descriptive of someone pleasant, courteous and sexually non-threatening. In my experience, when Nice guy is used positively, its usually followed with a But.
He's a nice guy but, (Insert negative perception here) therefore he's not my type.
In the same way that Real and Winner are both positive attributes. But placed in the same relative clause have the opposite meaning. Saying he's a real winner, does not mean that in fact a person is actually successful.
In the same way that in the Navy referring to someone as a Shipmate is a negative term, even though by definition it is a positive one.
This whole concept is based off of something being an Auto-Antonym. A word or phrase which means its opposite under different contexts.
In the same way that Inflammable can mean capable of being burned or fireproof. Or Off can being something is not on or like the alarm went off. Or to screen means to show or to hide.
So in the case of being a nice guy. Its typically descriptive of someone pleasant, courteous and sexually non-threatening. In my experience, when Nice guy is used positively, its usually followed with a But.
He's a nice guy but, (Insert negative perception here) therefore he's not my type.
I think being nice is something we learn very early on. I hope, in Kindergarten we're taught to share. As we get older we may hear something about a girl, she's not nice, maybe someone spread lies and gave her a reputation, for a guy, well he's a bully so he's not nice. It's pretty much a double standard between men and women. If a guy is nice, some consider him a wimp, but if he sleep's around he's macho and cool. If a girl is polite and pure she's nice, if she sleeps around she's something else.
That's society, it doesn't make sense at all.
That's society, it doesn't make sense at all.
I suppose in a positive sense a nice guy is a position on a sliding scale.
Nice guy_________________Good guy_______________Great Guy
|------------------------------------------|------------------------------------|
Baseline_______________Better ______________________Best
Compared to the lower half of the scale its better.
Jerkface----------------Normal Guy----------------------Nice Guy
|--------------------------------|-------------------------------------|
Negative______________Neutral____________________Positive
But it seems like Nice Guy, is the standard that most men cover fairly easily.
(I don't like the way that spaces don't hold)
Nice guy_________________Good guy_______________Great Guy
|------------------------------------------|------------------------------------|
Baseline_______________Better ______________________Best
Compared to the lower half of the scale its better.
Jerkface----------------Normal Guy----------------------Nice Guy
|--------------------------------|-------------------------------------|
Negative______________Neutral____________________Positive
But it seems like Nice Guy, is the standard that most men cover fairly easily.
(I don't like the way that spaces don't hold)
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This is unreadably sloppy. It was suppose to be a diagram but first my spaces disappeared.
Then I put little dashes to keep spacing and they turned out all jacked up.
so then I tried to "Fix" it. So then magical spaces appeared here and there wherever. Like next to the P in positive.
Basically Nice is not bad but, good is the traditional opposite.
But if we are talking about Good nice is less than par.
If we are talking about being courteous, nice isn't a bad place to start. But like most uses of the word, its a watered down alternative to being bad.
"be nice to your sister" usually means stop hitting her and pulling her hair.
"Be good to your sister" means something along the lines of taking care of her, or being there for her when she needs it.
This is why I love Philosophy and hate definitions. Language was not created from a dictionary, a dictionary is not the mathematical rule for the english, and A definition of a word does not supercede its meaning in common usage.
Language was used long before we gramur notzis came along and imposed our judgements on everyone.
According to communication theory, if a word has a shared meaning between parties, then that meaning is valid.
So if you want for "Nice guy" to infer some really awesome attribute, then go for it.
J
My head is so full of vagueness. You hear it all the time. "I just want to marry a "nice" girl/guy and settle down"
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Do we even know??
I hear that and I think....ok... He's a "nice" guy. He'll be polite to my family. He'll open doors for me. He'll do all of these "nice" things. He won't embarrass me in public. But, here's the thing... I could just open my own doors, get a puppy and send him to obedience school if that's all there is to it, you know?
I don't mean this to be gender specific. Normally when we are talking about a "nice" girl, we mean someone who doesn't sleep around. Is that what we mean when we say "nice" guy?
Do we mean someone who doesn't treat us like dirt?
Someone who doesn't lie to us?
Someone who can be faithful?
Someone who has the sense to hit their knees when the going gets tough?
Someone who will stand by us come what may?
Someone who knows how to be respectful/compassionate?
Someone who says what they mean and means what they say?
I'm not interested in "bad boys". I'm not interested in "nice" guys. I'm interested in a godly man. Period. The rest is just....meh.
Instead of whining about people liking/not liking us/dating us/not dating us for who we are or are not, why don't we just allow Christ to mold us into the person HE wants us to be? If someone wants to grow with us in that process, awesome. But I don't want someone stepping into my life looking for "nice" and slowing me down, nor would I want to impede whatever Christ is doing in his life.
I hope that I am a loving, compassionate person. I truly do. But I have to say that there are times when I think we need to pop our little pity party bubbles, stop looking in the mirror at ourselves, stop looking around for someone else to blame for all of the ills in our lives and say, "Okay, God. YOU show me what I am doing wrong. Mold me into the person YOU want me to be. Mold me into the person a godly man/woman needs me to be."
Paul was a single too. Nowhere in his writings do I read about concerns that no one wanted to date him because he was too "nice". And just so the ladies aren't left out, I don't read about Mary of Bethany or Mary Magdalene doing it either.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Do we even know??
I hear that and I think....ok... He's a "nice" guy. He'll be polite to my family. He'll open doors for me. He'll do all of these "nice" things. He won't embarrass me in public. But, here's the thing... I could just open my own doors, get a puppy and send him to obedience school if that's all there is to it, you know?
I don't mean this to be gender specific. Normally when we are talking about a "nice" girl, we mean someone who doesn't sleep around. Is that what we mean when we say "nice" guy?
Do we mean someone who doesn't treat us like dirt?
Someone who doesn't lie to us?
Someone who can be faithful?
Someone who has the sense to hit their knees when the going gets tough?
Someone who will stand by us come what may?
Someone who knows how to be respectful/compassionate?
Someone who says what they mean and means what they say?
I'm not interested in "bad boys". I'm not interested in "nice" guys. I'm interested in a godly man. Period. The rest is just....meh.
Instead of whining about people liking/not liking us/dating us/not dating us for who we are or are not, why don't we just allow Christ to mold us into the person HE wants us to be? If someone wants to grow with us in that process, awesome. But I don't want someone stepping into my life looking for "nice" and slowing me down, nor would I want to impede whatever Christ is doing in his life.
I hope that I am a loving, compassionate person. I truly do. But I have to say that there are times when I think we need to pop our little pity party bubbles, stop looking in the mirror at ourselves, stop looking around for someone else to blame for all of the ills in our lives and say, "Okay, God. YOU show me what I am doing wrong. Mold me into the person YOU want me to be. Mold me into the person a godly man/woman needs me to be."
Paul was a single too. Nowhere in his writings do I read about concerns that no one wanted to date him because he was too "nice". And just so the ladies aren't left out, I don't read about Mary of Bethany or Mary Magdalene doing it either.
K
Paul was a single too. Nowhere in his writings do I read about concerns that no one wanted to date him because he was too "nice". And just so the ladies aren't left out, I don't read about Mary of Bethany or Mary Magdalene doing it either.
Well they're not going to put something like that in the BIBLE!
S
In the jungle, the mighty jungle... the Lion sleeps tonighttttttttt!
Right. You have to show some confidence, or you come across as not strong enough for a relationship.
I think it's a shorter version of "generic placeholder"
I just want to find a "generic placeholder" guy until I figure out what I really want, at which point I'll be so emotionally invested I'm not sure what I'll do. I want a "generic placeholder" woman because I want to get married, any one will do, I'll just pick one at random and hope for the best.
How about "I want a spouse that loves God more than they will love me."
There, no ambiguity. And since scripture itself says God has not given us a spirit of fear, pushovers need not apply.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Someone can be the meekest, kindest person and still stand up for what is right and for those they love, as again, scripture tells us this:
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Right. You have to show some confidence, or you come across as not strong enough for a relationship.
My head is so full of vagueness. You hear it all the time. "I just want to marry a "nice" girl/guy and settle down"
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Do we even know??
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? Do we even know??
I think it's a shorter version of "generic placeholder"
I just want to find a "generic placeholder" guy until I figure out what I really want, at which point I'll be so emotionally invested I'm not sure what I'll do. I want a "generic placeholder" woman because I want to get married, any one will do, I'll just pick one at random and hope for the best.
How about "I want a spouse that loves God more than they will love me."
There, no ambiguity. And since scripture itself says God has not given us a spirit of fear, pushovers need not apply.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
Someone can be the meekest, kindest person and still stand up for what is right and for those they love, as again, scripture tells us this:
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
J
I look around these forums and see men who have overcome tremendous difficulties (divorce, illnesses, past lives they aren't proud of, etc.) and are striving to be all God would like them to be. Men who are focused on family, raising godly children, men who are respectful of women, but not afraid to stand up to one for what they believe to be right. Men who are not ashamed to humble themselves before God.
There are women who work hard, love hard, and care deeply. Prayer warriors. Women of depth, wisdom and modesty.
All of these people have so much to offer, but they are so afraid of being rejected because of what they perceive to be weaknesses or imperfections. They think they aren't tall/young/old/fit/pretty/smart/educated enough for someone to want to be with them. Some of them talk about the other gender being shallow from time to time, but...here's the thing...if you think that about YOURSELF, aren't you being shallow too?
God has blessed you. You are amazing, loving, precious, beautiful, talented people. I love you so much. I look at you and think...WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU???? Don't you see how special you are? Don't you realize that people who ARE tall/fit/pretty/educated/blah, blah, blah have issues and difficulties too?
I wish you could see yourselves as I see you. You are incredible men and women of God, and if other people CAN'T see it, you shouldn't want to be with anyone that blind and stupid anyway.
Maybe I'm being too blunt. Do I care? Nope. I flushed all of my "nice" pills down the toilet this morning.
There are women who work hard, love hard, and care deeply. Prayer warriors. Women of depth, wisdom and modesty.
All of these people have so much to offer, but they are so afraid of being rejected because of what they perceive to be weaknesses or imperfections. They think they aren't tall/young/old/fit/pretty/smart/educated enough for someone to want to be with them. Some of them talk about the other gender being shallow from time to time, but...here's the thing...if you think that about YOURSELF, aren't you being shallow too?
God has blessed you. You are amazing, loving, precious, beautiful, talented people. I love you so much. I look at you and think...WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU???? Don't you see how special you are? Don't you realize that people who ARE tall/fit/pretty/educated/blah, blah, blah have issues and difficulties too?
I wish you could see yourselves as I see you. You are incredible men and women of God, and if other people CAN'T see it, you shouldn't want to be with anyone that blind and stupid anyway.
Maybe I'm being too blunt. Do I care? Nope.
I flushed all of my "nice" pills down the toilet this morning.
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