-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
Observation of this thread....
Anytime a gentleman assumes he knows what a lady is thinking... The friend zone is the best possible outcome, usually it's worse than that.
Ask the girls what they like and see the change in response. Not saying Art's question is wrong.
Talking about all the interaction I'm seeing.
Of course excluding my attack on ugly. I'm the girl, I don't do wrong... Hahahaha
Okay I feel bad now... Ugly I love you like bears love melons and like clowns love those little flowers the squirt water. And like hedgehogs love those little rubber things that are all colorful and look just likes hedgehog. Also love you like Jesus loves me!
Observation of this thread....
Anytime a gentleman assumes he knows what a lady is thinking... The friend zone is the best possible outcome, usually it's worse than that.
Ask the girls what they like and see the change in response. Not saying Art's question is wrong.
Talking about all the interaction I'm seeing.
Of course excluding my attack on ugly. I'm the girl, I don't do wrong... Hahahaha
Okay I feel bad now... Ugly I love you like bears love melons and like clowns love those little flowers the squirt water. And like hedgehogs love those little rubber things that are all colorful and look just likes hedgehog. Also love you like Jesus loves me!
R
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
I like the best of both worlds.
Being in a relationship with a nice guy and us being best friends at the exact same time.
Why does this thread exist?
What was the point of it being created?
What was meant to be discussed?
How were the discussions supposed to go?
Is this thread a test of some sort?
Or a vague "teaching" tool?
Or is it (dare I say) troll bait?
What is it??
I like the best of both worlds.
Being in a relationship with a nice guy and us being best friends at the exact same time.
Why does this thread exist?
What was the point of it being created?
What was meant to be discussed?
How were the discussions supposed to go?
Is this thread a test of some sort?
Or a vague "teaching" tool?
Or is it (dare I say) troll bait?
What is it??
I
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
couldnt help myself.. when i seen praus had commented... i KNEW he had a post trying to attack me.. so i hit the view post button and what do you know... i was right lol. i didnt read it, i just saw the quotes.
sooner than later, the posters here will catch on to your hateful ways and agenda against me. and they will call you out on your hatefulness.
couldnt help myself.. when i seen praus had commented... i KNEW he had a post trying to attack me.. so i hit the view post button and what do you know... i was right lol. i didnt read it, i just saw the quotes.
sooner than later, the posters here will catch on to your hateful ways and agenda against me. and they will call you out on your hatefulness.
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
Tell everyone all about it. If you're a Christian and I'm really hateful then it should be trivially easy for you to convince them.
Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
Tell everyone all about it. If you're a Christian and I'm really hateful then it should be trivially easy for you to convince them.
Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
I
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
i already posted scripture.
and they are not entirely the judge. whether they agree or not, doesnt make it final. i am a better judge of "our matter" than they are because they are not the 1 being attacked by you, etc.
again, God is the judge of our hearts.. like i told you in our inbox discussion.
btw, why do you hate me?
is it because i mistook you for a female?
i already posted scripture.
and they are not entirely the judge. whether they agree or not, doesnt make it final. i am a better judge of "our matter" than they are because they are not the 1 being attacked by you, etc.
again, God is the judge of our hearts.. like i told you in our inbox discussion.
btw, why do you hate me?
is it because i mistook you for a female?
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
I hate the term friendzone and the way it's used.
It makes it sound like people are REQUIRED to fall in love with someone and that it's a crime to only be drawn to them in a friends-only sort of way. I think this type of thinking is dangerous. Consider this example:
I meet a man who I find attractive based on a combination of his looks, personality, virtues, Christ-like qualities, etc. I fully recognize that I am drawn to him.. when suddenly, I hear through the grapevine that he is engaged. Oops. Immediately I file him away into a "friends-only" category. I still value him as a friend and brother in Christ, but I know that anything beyond friendship is completely off-limits.
What have I done? I have just friendzoned him.
I know my example seems a little extreme, but my point is it is both normal and healthy to have an awareness as to who might potentially be a good match vs. who NEEDS to be placed into a "Friends-only" category. We are not designed to be attracted to just any particular member of the opposite sex. We are not animals. God created us with a soul and a spirit, with completely unique personalities and gifts. No one is superior to the other, but we are all different, and these differences also imply that certain combinations of people will be more compatible than others.
Reasons why I might put a guy in the "friendzone" (most of these are discoveries that I would hope to make by being friends with him for a while first):
- He's taken
- He's either lost, fairly new to Christianity, or still fairly immature in his faith.
- Conversation with him doesn't flow easily and naturally. This has NOTHING to do with his faith or character but if feel like it's a struggle to talk to him then it's a sign we're not compatible.
- We have little to no common interests
- His passions and spiritual gifts are wonderful and admirable, but they're so different from mine that he'd probably be more effective in serving the Lord if he were with a woman who had more similar gifts.
- He doesn't have rock hard abs. (I'm totally kidding, Art! This does NOT matter to me, or most of the Christian women I know.)
I'm thankful for your questions, Art, and I hope you are able to gain some clarity and insight through the many wonderful responses in this thread. I'm still praying for you, because through all of your threads I am sensing the same pain. Please remember that no matter how many times you may feel rejected, you are a child of the most high God. Also, please remember that no matter how many women you feel are mistreating/rejecting you, they do NOT represent the entire population of Christian women. Though we are flawed sinners, we are also daughters of the King, and many of us are trying our best to interact with men in a way that glorifies the Lord. I don't know what the future holds for you, I can't even guarantee that you (or I, or anyone) is going to get married without a doubt. But I do know that it is not impossible to find a woman who loves the Lord with all her heart.
God bless
<3
...
...
Why do they do this?
...
Why do they do this?
It makes it sound like people are REQUIRED to fall in love with someone and that it's a crime to only be drawn to them in a friends-only sort of way. I think this type of thinking is dangerous. Consider this example:
I meet a man who I find attractive based on a combination of his looks, personality, virtues, Christ-like qualities, etc. I fully recognize that I am drawn to him.. when suddenly, I hear through the grapevine that he is engaged. Oops. Immediately I file him away into a "friends-only" category. I still value him as a friend and brother in Christ, but I know that anything beyond friendship is completely off-limits.
What have I done? I have just friendzoned him.
I know my example seems a little extreme, but my point is it is both normal and healthy to have an awareness as to who might potentially be a good match vs. who NEEDS to be placed into a "Friends-only" category. We are not designed to be attracted to just any particular member of the opposite sex. We are not animals. God created us with a soul and a spirit, with completely unique personalities and gifts. No one is superior to the other, but we are all different, and these differences also imply that certain combinations of people will be more compatible than others.
Reasons why I might put a guy in the "friendzone" (most of these are discoveries that I would hope to make by being friends with him for a while first):
- He's taken
- He's either lost, fairly new to Christianity, or still fairly immature in his faith.
- Conversation with him doesn't flow easily and naturally. This has NOTHING to do with his faith or character but if feel like it's a struggle to talk to him then it's a sign we're not compatible.
- We have little to no common interests
- His passions and spiritual gifts are wonderful and admirable, but they're so different from mine that he'd probably be more effective in serving the Lord if he were with a woman who had more similar gifts.
- He doesn't have rock hard abs. (I'm totally kidding, Art! This does NOT matter to me, or most of the Christian women I know.)
I'm thankful for your questions, Art, and I hope you are able to gain some clarity and insight through the many wonderful responses in this thread. I'm still praying for you, because through all of your threads I am sensing the same pain. Please remember that no matter how many times you may feel rejected, you are a child of the most high God. Also, please remember that no matter how many women you feel are mistreating/rejecting you, they do NOT represent the entire population of Christian women. Though we are flawed sinners, we are also daughters of the King, and many of us are trying our best to interact with men in a way that glorifies the Lord. I don't know what the future holds for you, I can't even guarantee that you (or I, or anyone) is going to get married without a doubt. But I do know that it is not impossible to find a woman who loves the Lord with all her heart.
God bless
<3
Last edited:
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
This has nothing to do with anything that you wrote to me in some inbox, it's about telling your brothers and sisters what makes me so hateful, per your statement. Don't you want to expose me?
You're having memory issues again, I posted this only 41 minutes ago.
This has nothing to do with anything that you wrote to me in some inbox, it's about telling your brothers and sisters what makes me so hateful, per your statement.
Don't you want to expose me?You're having memory issues again, I posted this only 41 minutes ago.
I
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
@praus
why do you constantly attack me? what is your motive?
are you determined to get other people to share your hate for me?
do you have something to prove to yourself?
honest questions. i only expect honest answers.
@praus
why do you constantly attack me? what is your motive?
are you determined to get other people to share your hate for me?
do you have something to prove to yourself?
honest questions. i only expect honest answers.
A
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
A lot of the disagreement about the friend zone comes down to thedefinition (not so ironically this also happens when arguing aboutlove). If you define the friend zone as merely unrequited love, wherethe two people involved are friends, then it's obviously a real thing(I include this for the people that say it's not real). This doesn'tmean that you can't “get out” of the friend zone, it just meansit's a situation you can end up in.
The problem about talkingabout it on a forum like this is that the source of the problem is inmicro activity and all people have time to talk about on a forum likethis is macro activity. For example, guys that get friendzoned on aregular basis generally have low self-esteem, which is distinct fromphysical appearance. This bleeds into all of the little interactions,and at the end of it all women find that they are not attracted tothe guy, but can't necessarily pinpoint the reason. The friendzonedguy does little things such as laughing nervously, trying to be funnytoo often, and over self-deprecating. They have a fear of conflict,so they won't ever disagree with a girl, which seems “nice” tothem, but doesn't really challenge the girl, and makes for a lot ofunstimulating conversation (talking to someone who blindly agreeswith everything you say because they have a crush on you isn't reallyfun). This is an example where the guy thinks he is being nice buteveryone else sees he is just being boring.
The phrase “niceguys finish last” is also a disagreement that's caused by adifference in definition. Everyone has a different definition of“nice”. As previously mentioned, the guy may think that agreeingwith everything a girl says is nice, but the girl may think that'sboring. When I ask girls what they think “nice” means it's alwaysdifferent from the friendzoned guys response.
Neither thefriendzoned guy nor the girl realizes the little things I'mmentioning, which makes the conversations they have about the issuecenter around large broad ideas like “nice guys” and “bad guys”and “masculinity”. Getting out of the friendzone is aboutrealizing your worth and your bad social habits.
A lot of the disagreement about the friend zone comes down to thedefinition (not so ironically this also happens when arguing aboutlove). If you define the friend zone as merely unrequited love, wherethe two people involved are friends, then it's obviously a real thing(I include this for the people that say it's not real). This doesn'tmean that you can't “get out” of the friend zone, it just meansit's a situation you can end up in.
The problem about talkingabout it on a forum like this is that the source of the problem is inmicro activity and all people have time to talk about on a forum likethis is macro activity. For example, guys that get friendzoned on aregular basis generally have low self-esteem, which is distinct fromphysical appearance. This bleeds into all of the little interactions,and at the end of it all women find that they are not attracted tothe guy, but can't necessarily pinpoint the reason. The friendzonedguy does little things such as laughing nervously, trying to be funnytoo often, and over self-deprecating. They have a fear of conflict,so they won't ever disagree with a girl, which seems “nice” tothem, but doesn't really challenge the girl, and makes for a lot ofunstimulating conversation (talking to someone who blindly agreeswith everything you say because they have a crush on you isn't reallyfun). This is an example where the guy thinks he is being nice buteveryone else sees he is just being boring.
The phrase “niceguys finish last” is also a disagreement that's caused by adifference in definition. Everyone has a different definition of“nice”. As previously mentioned, the guy may think that agreeingwith everything a girl says is nice, but the girl may think that'sboring. When I ask girls what they think “nice” means it's alwaysdifferent from the friendzoned guys response.
Neither thefriendzoned guy nor the girl realizes the little things I'mmentioning, which makes the conversations they have about the issuecenter around large broad ideas like “nice guys” and “bad guys”and “masculinity”. Getting out of the friendzone is aboutrealizing your worth and your bad social habits.
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
What are you talking about? You and your daughter have been in my prayers for the last several days.
I didn't write anything to you until you started teaching me. Then when I accept you as a teacher, you refuse to teach, and demand that I teach you, like your doing in this post.
Honest answer: I suspect very strongly that using other people as tools in an attempt to victimize yourself ("poor me") is highly correlated to your depression. -> http://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/80546-why-later-you-stay-up-more-depressed-you-feel.html
You're an adult, you can decide what to do with that information, but everything I'm reading says paranoia ("he's out to get me") and doctors can do great things for that using current medical technology.
Smile, Charlie Clown!
What are you talking about?
You and your daughter have been in my prayers for the last several days.I didn't write anything to you until you started teaching me. Then when I accept you as a teacher, you refuse to teach, and demand that I teach you, like your doing in this post.
Honest answer: I suspect very strongly that using other people as tools in an attempt to victimize yourself ("poor me") is highly correlated to your depression. -> http://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/80546-why-later-you-stay-up-more-depressed-you-feel.html
You're an adult, you can decide what to do with that information, but everything I'm reading says paranoia ("he's out to get me") and doctors can do great things for that using current medical technology.
Smile, Charlie Clown!
I
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
i skimmed the post and didnt see any of my questions answered.
i honestly dont care what you think of me so theres no need to read your anger. i would just like to know WHY you hate me so much.. and since you couldnt answer the honest questions honestly, i already know why. a hateful heart is a lying heart. nothing else needs to be said.
far from playing victim. simple questions about your behavior... from somebody who claims to be a christian.
ive been in far worse situations than this one with you that i handled in ways that God would be proud of me for.
God is good and love conquers all!
God Bless.
What are you talking about? You and your daughter have been in my prayers for the last several days.
I didn't write anything to you until you started teaching me. Then when I accept you as a teacher, you refuse to teach, and demand that I teach you, like your doing in this post.
Honest answer: I suspect very strongly that using other people as tools in an attempt to victimize yourself ("poor me") is highly correlated to your depression. -> http://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/80546-why-later-you-stay-up-more-depressed-you-feel.html
You're an adult, you can decide what to do with that information, but everything I'm reading says paranoia ("he's out to get me") and doctors can do great things for that using current medical technology.
Smile, Charlie Clown!
View attachment 66090
You and your daughter have been in my prayers for the last several days.I didn't write anything to you until you started teaching me. Then when I accept you as a teacher, you refuse to teach, and demand that I teach you, like your doing in this post.
Honest answer: I suspect very strongly that using other people as tools in an attempt to victimize yourself ("poor me") is highly correlated to your depression. -> http://christianchat.com/miscellaneous/80546-why-later-you-stay-up-more-depressed-you-feel.html
You're an adult, you can decide what to do with that information, but everything I'm reading says paranoia ("he's out to get me") and doctors can do great things for that using current medical technology.
Smile, Charlie Clown!
View attachment 66090
i honestly dont care what you think of me so theres no need to read your anger. i would just like to know WHY you hate me so much.. and since you couldnt answer the honest questions honestly, i already know why. a hateful heart is a lying heart. nothing else needs to be said.
far from playing victim. simple questions about your behavior... from somebody who claims to be a christian.
ive been in far worse situations than this one with you that i handled in ways that God would be proud of me for.
God is good and love conquers all!
God Bless.
Re: "Now Ladies, Make Sure You Put That Nice Guy That's Interested In The Friendzone!
You care intensely what I think. I just hang out and you initiated private messaging with me. You wouldn't bother if my opinion wasn't important for you.
The main problem, then, is your lack of honesty with yourself. I can't tell you anything you deal with that.
See?
Sadly, I have too many sisters here on CC who complain to me about your misuse of scripture to support your misogyny. They call in brother Praus to find out what's going on with brother Imperfect. Then when you refer to me as a woman or a homosexual then they apologize for getting me into it in the first place.
If you can't wield your own language like two-edged sword without hurting yourself, well, how will you proclaim the word of God?
Heb 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
You care intensely what I think. I just hang out and you initiated private messaging with me. You wouldn't bother if my opinion wasn't important for you.
The main problem, then, is your lack of honesty with yourself. I can't tell you anything you deal with that.
See?
Sadly, I have too many sisters here on CC who complain to me about your misuse of scripture to support your misogyny. They call in brother Praus to find out what's going on with brother Imperfect. Then when you refer to me as a woman or a homosexual then they apologize for getting me into it in the first place.
If you can't wield your own language like two-edged sword without hurting yourself, well, how will you proclaim the word of God?
Heb 4:12 For the word of God [is] quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and [is] a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.