So here is my question on the broad "friendzone" topics.

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Animus

Guest
#21
#21
colalella2891 said:
MAKE A MOVE. That's how you avoid getting friendzoned. But this is from my perspective, since I don't think it matters who makes the first move. If you want him to do it, then give him a hint that you like him. Touch his hand, hug him a lot, etc.

Still, I say try the 'direct approach' and just make a move or tell him how you feel.
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I disagree, I think that making a move does very little in creating attraction, it really just cashes in on attraction that's already there, and if you haven't built the attraction yet then it's just going to scare them. We all know that the chances of success when asking out a complete stranger are pretty low, and that's because they are based on the short interaction that is less than a minute long. If one person really likes another the person they'll feel this way for a while, and they'll try to make it known through their interactions before moving on. So I think the real battle should already be won by the time you make a move, and by doing it this way they'll be much happier when it happens since they waited for it, rather than it crossing their mind for the first time when you ask them.
 
L

Lecrae

Guest
#22
#22
MidniteWelder said:
Oh Leelee,
Don't you know we cannot force someone to love us.
You can only stalk them until they give in. :p
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Oddly enough, this is the definition of my last relationship.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#24
#24
Animus said:
I disagree, I think that making a move does very little in creating attraction, it really just cashes in on attraction that's already there, and if you haven't built the attraction yet then it's just going to scare them. We all know that the chances of success when asking out a complete stranger are pretty low, and that's because they are based on the short interaction that is less than a minute long. If one person really likes another the person they'll feel this way for a while, and they'll try to make it known through their interactions before moving on. So I think the real battle should already be won by the time you make a move, and by doing it this way they'll be much happier when it happens since they waited for it, rather than it crossing their mind for the first time when you ask them.
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Sooooo your saying this takes awhile???
 
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iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#28
#28
I just want a woman I can be myself with. LOL
kinda like this....................

tumblr_mbhj7zQIFk1rreny4o1_1280.jpg
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#29
#29
Animus said:
I disagree, I think that making a move does very little in creating attraction, it really just cashes in on attraction that's already there, and if you haven't built the attraction yet then it's just going to scare them. We all know that the chances of success when asking out a complete stranger are pretty low, and that's because they are based on the short interaction that is less than a minute long. If one person really likes another the person they'll feel this way for a while, and they'll try to make it known through their interactions before moving on. So I think the real battle should already be won by the time you make a move, and by doing it this way they'll be much happier when it happens since they waited for it, rather than it crossing their mind for the first time when you ask them.
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I don't know... I still don't agree... I mean I would actually prefer becoming friends with a significant other first, so I do like what you said about it building up.

But she wants to avoid getting friendzoned...What if she gets friendzoned while she waits to make a move??? She said she wanted to avoid being friendzoned, and it's hard to avoid when you put off making a move.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#30
Sep 5, 2011
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#30
colalella2891 said:
I don't know... I still don't agree... I mean I would actually prefer becoming friends with a significant other first, so I do like what you said.

But she wants to avoid getting friendzoned...What if she gets friendzoned while she waits to make a move??? She said she wanted to avoid being friendzoned, and it's hard to avoid when you put off making a move.
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This is based on the theory that you can't have a relationship following the friendzone.
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#31
#31
leelee said:
This is based on the theory that you can't have a relationship following the friendzone.
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It's definitely still possible to get into a relationship after being friendzoned. I would probably prefer it when it comes to myself, since I want my significant other to be my best friend.

But you said you didn't want to be friendzoned at all, so I guess i'm a little confused. :confused:
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#32
Sep 5, 2011
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colalella2891 said:
It's definitely still possible to get into a relationship after being friendzoned. I would probably prefer it when it comes to myself, since I want my significant other to be my best friend.

But you said you didn't want to be friendzoned at all, so I guess i'm a little confused. :confused:
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Basically I think the friendzone is something you can't escape from, honestly I am a little confused myself as I am very tired. I would like to be friends with him but with the possibility of a development of it :)
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#33
#33
leelee said:
Basically I think the friendzone is something you can't escape from, honestly I am a little confused myself as I am very tired. I would like to be friends with him but with the possibility of a development of it :)
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You should do what you think is right. :) I think Animus' advice fits more with what you said at the end there.
 
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Animus

Guest
#34
#34
colalella2891 said:
I don't know... I still don't agree... I mean I would actually prefer becoming friends with a significant other first, so I do like what you said about it building up.

But she wants to avoid getting friendzoned...What if she gets friendzoned while she waits to make a move??? She said she wanted to avoid being friendzoned, and it's hard to avoid when you put off making a move.
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The friendzone is such a big phenomenon and such a popular topic because friendship leads to attraction. If friendship didn't lead to attraction we wouldn't be hearing about the friendzone in the first place. So many people fall into the friendzone because during a regular friendship they start to develop feelings. This is proof that you can induce feelings without actually making your intentions known - without even having any intentions for that matter.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#35
Sep 5, 2011
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#35
Yeh, I don't know exactly what I am going to to, I will pray and stuff. I may not manage to follow any plan though as he does mae me a bit giddy lol!
 
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colalella2891

Guest
#36
#36
Animus said:
The friendzone is such a big phenomenon and such a popular topic because friendship leads to attraction. If friendship didn't lead to attraction we wouldn't be hearing about the friendzone in the first place. So many people fall into the friendzone because during a regular friendship they start to develop feelings. This is proof that you can induce feelings without actually making your intentions known - without even having any intentions for that matter.
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Haha, good point bro.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#37
Sep 5, 2011
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#37
Also on a side not, he is about 2 1/2 years younger than me and this causes me concern however the few friends I have told about my liking him tell me not to be so silly, am I being silly? It is more than the age thing because I am a graduate working in my chosen field (nursing) and he is still a student.
 
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Animus

Guest
#38
#38
leelee said:
Basically I think the friendzone is something you can't escape from, honestly I am a little confused myself as I am very tired. I would like to be friends with him but with the possibility of a development of it :)
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The reason it's difficult to get out of that place is that your sudden change in character will seem strange. For example, if you try to make a flirty joke, and you've been friends for months and you've never done that, they'll have a set idea in their mind about you, and your little advances won't fit in. This is why it's important to, while not being to obvious, flirt as soon as possible. Where some guys (for the sake of example) go wrong is that they are scared to flirt, or argue, or challenge, or tease, because they are afraid it might get taken the wrong way, and so they build a relationship on small talk and popular opinions, which is so safe, but so boring.
 
leelee

leelee

Senior Member
#39
Sep 5, 2011
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#39
Well, since I have spent the last while accidentally flirting I think I am ok there, I caught myself hair flipping the other week! I was shocked!
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#40
#40
I don't like the flirting concept, because men and women do it and sometimes never mean a thing by it. You can never tell if it is genuine or not.
 
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