J
Again, this thread was NOT written against/for one gender or another. Please keep it that way. 
It's something all of us need to keep in mind.
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Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!
Psalm 64:3 Who whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words like arrows
Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
ONE FOR THE GUYS:
1 Peter 3:7-12 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.
ONE FOR THE LADIES:
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
(Betcha didn't think I'd include that one, huh? Fair is fair is fair.)
Characteristics of Verbal Abuse
1. Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner. Over time, the partner may begin to believe that there is something wrong with him/her or his/her abilities. He/She may come to feel that he/she is the problem, rather than his/her partner.
2. Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name- calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control him/her without his/her knowing.
3. Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling. Even disparaging comments may be voiced in an extremely sincere and concerned way. But the goal is to control and manipulate.
4. Verbal abuse is insidious. The partner’s self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without him/her realizing it. He/She may consciously or unconsciously try to change his/her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.
5. Verbal abuse is unpredictable. In fact, unpredictability is one of the most significant characteristics of verbal abuse. The partner is stunned, shocked, and thrown off balance by his/her mate’s sarcasm, angry jab, put-down, or hurtful comment.
6. Verbal abuse is not a side issue. It is the issue in the relationship. When a couple is having an argument about a real issue, the issue can be resolved. In a verbally abusive relationship, there is no specific conflict. The issue is the abuse, and this issue is not resolved. There is no closure.
7. Verbal abuse expresses a double message. There is incongruence between the way the abuser speaks and his/her real feelings. For example, he/she may sound very sincere and honest while he/she is telling his/her partner what is wrong with him/her.
8. Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms might surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse may escalate into physical abuse, starting with “accidental” shoves, pushes, and bumps.
If you are already in a relationship, please keep this in mind. If you are having serious problems that never seem to be resolved, please take a good close look at this issue. If you have baggage or anger issues from prior relationships, please give yourself time to address this issue in your life/let healing take place before you permit it to carry on to your next.
It's something all of us need to keep in mind. ***********************************************
Proverbs 12:18 There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
Proverbs 15:4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
James 3:5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire!
Psalm 64:3 Who whet their tongues like swords, who aim bitter words like arrows
Proverbs 16:24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
ONE FOR THE GUYS:
1 Peter 3:7-12 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit; let him turn away from evil and do good; let him seek peace and pursue it.
ONE FOR THE LADIES:
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.
(Betcha didn't think I'd include that one, huh?
Fair is fair is fair.)
Characteristics of Verbal Abuse
1. Verbal abuse is hurtful and usually attacks the nature and abilities of the partner. Over time, the partner may begin to believe that there is something wrong with him/her or his/her abilities. He/She may come to feel that he/she is the problem, rather than his/her partner.
2. Verbal abuse may be overt (through angry outbursts and name- calling) or covert (involving very subtle comments, even something that approaches brainwashing). Overt verbal abuse is usually blaming and accusatory, and consequently confusing to the partner. Covert verbal abuse, which is hidden aggression, is even more confusing to the partner. Its aim is to control him/her without his/her knowing.
3. Verbal abuse is manipulative and controlling. Even disparaging comments may be voiced in an extremely sincere and concerned way. But the goal is to control and manipulate.
4. Verbal abuse is insidious. The partner’s self-esteem gradually diminishes, usually without him/her realizing it. He/She may consciously or unconsciously try to change his/her behavior so as not to upset the abuser.
5. Verbal abuse is unpredictable. In fact, unpredictability is one of the most significant characteristics of verbal abuse. The partner is stunned, shocked, and thrown off balance by his/her mate’s sarcasm, angry jab, put-down, or hurtful comment.
6. Verbal abuse is not a side issue. It is the issue in the relationship. When a couple is having an argument about a real issue, the issue can be resolved. In a verbally abusive relationship, there is no specific conflict. The issue is the abuse, and this issue is not resolved. There is no closure.
7. Verbal abuse expresses a double message. There is incongruence between the way the abuser speaks and his/her real feelings. For example, he/she may sound very sincere and honest while he/she is telling his/her partner what is wrong with him/her.
8. Verbal abuse usually escalates, increasing in intensity, frequency, and variety. The verbal abuse may begin with put-downs disguised as jokes. Later other forms might surface. Sometimes the verbal abuse may escalate into physical abuse, starting with “accidental” shoves, pushes, and bumps.
If you are already in a relationship, please keep this in mind. If you are having serious problems that never seem to be resolved, please take a good close look at this issue. If you have baggage or anger issues from prior relationships, please give yourself time to address this issue in your life/let healing take place before you permit it to carry on to your next.
