I was once amazingly on fire for God, madly in love with Jesus Christ. I would read His word for hours daily, sing songs to Him, talk with Him, journal all the amazing treasures He would reveal to me.
One day, I was betrayed. Spiritually, I was broken into a million pieces. Jesus showed me later that He had to break me in order to deliver me and heal me. I never want to go through that again. My 29th and 30th years were the hardest I have ever lived, and I was physically abused as a child, so that's saying a lot.
I am now in a place where the fire is being stoked and will blaze to brilliant life again...so long as I keep adding fuel to it by spending time with Christ and reading the word with great expectation and hope. I look forward to the day when I can be free to worship unashamed and unrestrained again, when I can return to my place at Jesus' feet and sit with Him for hours. My soul is hungry, my heart is yearning, my flesh is weak.
Last week I was told that my love for God is what has kept the small flame alive. I have no desire for this world. I don't want to leave Him. So, even in my vapid drifting, I still clung to Him and He to me and so I will rise and live on fire for Him again.
(Sorry to go a bit overboard here with my personal story...just felt like it was time to share it in a small way. I hope I didn't derail the thread too much.)