Seeing a few of the arguments we've had in here recently reminded me of my old Marriage and Family counseling classes.
A few key terms...
Gunnysacking - has been described as 'an alienating fight tactic in which a person saves up, or gunnysacks, grievances until the sack gets too heavy and bursts, and old hostilities pour out'
Stonewalling - Refusing to Communicate or Cooperate. It can be someone deflecting the question, changing the subject, playing dumb, refusing to answer or delaying answering inevitably.
Character assassination - is an attempt to tarnish a person's reputation. It may involve exaggeration, misleading half-truths, or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. It is a form of defamation and can be a form of ad hominem argument.
Essentially, the point of any argument in a relationship is to come to a mutually agreed understanding, under the consent of both parties.
However often in a relationship, people use arguments as forms of manipulation or discipline. Which I think if you start an argument with the thought of, "I'll teach them a lesson." You're going to have a bad time.
People who argue about things, usually a mutually inclusive pronoun, such as we, us, and our, seem to have better long term success in conflict resolution than people who use You, Me, I, Yours, Mine, etc.
Anyways, such ideas came into my brain when someone mentioned CCers from this forum getting married. I had to chuckle because, I can't imagine it.
What are your thoughts?
A few key terms...
Gunnysacking - has been described as 'an alienating fight tactic in which a person saves up, or gunnysacks, grievances until the sack gets too heavy and bursts, and old hostilities pour out'
Stonewalling - Refusing to Communicate or Cooperate. It can be someone deflecting the question, changing the subject, playing dumb, refusing to answer or delaying answering inevitably.
Character assassination - is an attempt to tarnish a person's reputation. It may involve exaggeration, misleading half-truths, or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person. It is a form of defamation and can be a form of ad hominem argument.
Essentially, the point of any argument in a relationship is to come to a mutually agreed understanding, under the consent of both parties.
However often in a relationship, people use arguments as forms of manipulation or discipline. Which I think if you start an argument with the thought of, "I'll teach them a lesson." You're going to have a bad time.
People who argue about things, usually a mutually inclusive pronoun, such as we, us, and our, seem to have better long term success in conflict resolution than people who use You, Me, I, Yours, Mine, etc.
Anyways, such ideas came into my brain when someone mentioned CCers from this forum getting married. I had to chuckle because, I can't imagine it.
What are your thoughts?
