*hugs Elizabeth* I'm sorry.
I know what you mean. Your boyfriend sounds a lot like my dad. My mama has a very romantic heart but my dad is stubborn in his non-romantic ways. She doesn't want to be demanding though, and would rather any valentines gift truly come from his heart and not from her nagging, which is why she never specifically says "I want you to get me _____ for valentines day" (Tintin. I hope this somewhat answers your question about why women don't say what they mean)
last Valentine's day, my boyfriend remembered all the stories I had told him about my dad not being romantic, so without ANY suggestion from me, he bought an extra bouquet of flowers for my mama. She was so happy that she nearly cried. He won major points that day and mama told me he was a keeper.
I totally understand the argument about how we should show love year-round instead of just one day. Being raised by my dad, I used to think the same way. But when I entered a relationship and valentines day came around, I was prepared to "skip" it, until I realized something. If I truly believed in showing love every day, why would I intentionally skip valentines day? Out of spite for the candy and greeting card companies? What good does that do? I still believe valentines day isn't worth huge amounts of stress, but it can be done simply. I made cupcakes myself and hand-crafted a cute card. (No money spent! Maybe that was my rebellion against the companies? Haha) He was happy. I had successfully made him feel loved. It was just another day, but at the same time it was a little extra sweet.