Should We Say Anything?

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santuzza

santuzza

Senior Member
Feb 12, 2013
1,609
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My hubby and I have noticed that a fairly new friend of ours and his wife are SUPER DUPER enablers of bad behavior in their grandson. It is very bad. I have gently said some leading things to the wife (without being too terribly forward), but it falls on deaf ears.

As background, all four of us are mature Christians. Our friend even has a certificate in Bible from a prestigious Christian university. Yet, they seem very unable to deal with their grandson who takes big-time advantage of them and they let him.

So, the question is: Should we say anything to them? Confront them about their behavior? (We both believe that no one has ever really approached them about this, but we could be wrong). I know it's not our business, per se, but as brothers and sisters in Christ, shouldn't somebody say something?
 
I think so, for the child's sake. If he grows up with discipline, his entire life could be ruined....
 
YAKNOW ???.......SOMETIMES MINDING OUR BUSINESS BECAUSE ITS NOT OUR BUSINESS IS A GOOD IDEA....BEING CLOSE TO GOD...DOES NOT MEAN WE ALL GET TO RUN MY HOUSE.....AS LONG AS THERES NO ABUSE GOING ON....YOUR FREINDS TAKE ON CHILD REARING IS FINE....EVEN IF YOU DONT AGREE WITH IT....EVEN IF THE CHILD ENDS UP A CO-DEPENDANT BUM.....HEY...ITS YOUR BUDDYS HOUSE HE WILL BE LIVING IN UNTIL HES 54...NOT YOURS....SO AS LONG AS THERES NO ABUSE.....MIND YOUR BUSINESS....AND KEEP A FREIND.......AND BEFORE YOU SAY IT::......NO A REAL FREIND WOULD NOT BUTT IN......DONT EVEN GO THERE......YOUR WELCOME.:eek:
 
Yeah dont try to parent someone elses kid or tell them how to parent their own. Its not a good move.
 
santuzza said:
My hubby and I have noticed that a fairly new friend of ours and his wife are SUPER DUPER enablers of bad behavior in their grandson. It is very bad. I have gently said some leading things to the wife (without being too terribly forward), but it falls on deaf ears.

As background, all four of us are mature Christians. Our friend even has a certificate in Bible from a prestigious Christian university. Yet, they seem very unable to deal with their grandson who takes big-time advantage of them and they let him.

So, the question is: Should we say anything to them? Confront them about their behavior? (We both believe that no one has ever really approached them about this, but we could be wrong). I know it's not our business, per se, but as brothers and sisters in Christ, shouldn't somebody say something?
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I think you should speak to your friends about their behaviour. Watching out for the welfare of others is a Christ-like thing to do.


 
Sorry, I didn't mention this earlier -- the grandson is 28 years old -- a full-grown adult. But his grandparents are enabling his bad behavior.
 
santuzza said:
My hubby and I have noticed that a fairly new friend of ours and his wife are SUPER DUPER enablers of bad behavior in their grandson. It is very bad. I have gently said some leading things to the wife (without being too terribly forward), but it falls on deaf ears.

As background, all four of us are mature Christians. Our friend even has a certificate in Bible from a prestigious Christian university. Yet, they seem very unable to deal with their grandson who takes big-time advantage of them and they let him.

So, the question is: Should we say anything to them? Confront them about their behavior? (We both believe that no one has ever really approached them about this, but we could be wrong). I know it's not our business, per se, but as brothers and sisters in Christ, shouldn't somebody say something?
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If you had a relationship that was well-established, the kind that you could point out each other's faults without causing a nuclear meltdown, then you could tactfully share some ideas.

But that's not the relationship you have so just smile and tolerate it, realizing that you are probably doing some stuff wrong, too.

Besides, they are GRANDPARENTS, not parents. They are supposed to be able to spoil their grandkids, even the grown-up ones.
 
i would strongly advise you to pray about this first (if you haven't already).

if you do decide to speak with them, i would do so cautiously, and upfront, acknowledge that you only see one small part of the story and you have a concern on their behalf that is founded in love and concern for them. i would also come with a position that your observations may be unfounded and off base, rather than from the perspective of that you know what they are doing is wrong, and they are making mistakes. also, galatians 6:1 instructs us that such an approach should be done in a spirit of humility/meekness, as in "gently restore your brother".

that said, it's my personal preference in situations like this, absent of abuse, black and white sin issues or other time-sensitive urgent matters to wait until i've been approached for advice or has the topic has been raised and the conversation has a more organic genesis.

unless of course, they're very close friends that you have a more open-door policy with - which i assume isn't the case since you're here asking for advice.
 
damombomb said:
What is his bad behavior?
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He goes into violent rages -- breaks things -- then his grandparents just give him theirs to replace what he broke -- the guy never sees an consequences to his actions. The grandparents have also gone into debt to pay for this guy's legal fees (stemming from alcohol and drug abuse). The other day, our friend shared that his grandson needed a car to go to work, so our friends just hand over their keys, give him their truck, then they have to go out and buy another one for themselves (and they really can't afford it). The guy is 28 years old -- his own parents have washed their hands of him -- he remains petulant and unrepentant, but our friends keep providing for him, giving him things. All under the guise that if they don't, the guy won't let them see their great-grandson. It's a mess.
 
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