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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
- I know it's wrong to cheat on my wife/husband, but...
- I know it's wrong to lose my temper and hit my kids/spouse, but...
- I know it's wrong to drink and drive, but...
- I know it's wrong to steal, but ...
- I know that what I'm about to say is rude and unkind, but...
- I know it was wrong to leave toddlers alone in the house, but...


But, but, but.....

How did it become so easy to put the blame on someone/something else?
At what point should we accept personal responsibility?
When do we grow up?
When do we stop clinging to things that we SAY cause us to do these things?
When did this become okay?
When do we need to grow up and deal with reality?
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#2
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#2
I think many people have to hit rock bottom before they own up to their behavior. I think everyone has a different rock bottom. Jail, spouse leaving, losing custody, dying, hard to say.
 
Pen014

Pen014

Banned
#3
Nov 7, 2012
210
1
0
#3
couldn't agree more jullianna.
 
Z

zaoman32

Guest
#4
#4
the idea of modern pop psychology is to put the blame on circumstances, parenting, childhood, the list goes on. Why? because that person won't have to own their mistakes, and they feel less guilty because of it, but that leads into the danger zone of..."well it's not my fault, if I am this way it's the fault of someone/something else, I'm just a victim, so if I screw up again, oh well."

There is some slight truth in blaming the things I mentioned, but that is not always the case, and it's never the solution to solve the problem. Mistakes and sins have to be acknowledged, and owned, and there needs to be the desire to overcome, and the admission that "yeah I messed up, it was wrong, I have no one to blame but myself". They can decide to be just fine where they are in those circumstances, or they can choose to overcome and be a better person.

In my opinion, everything in life boils down to choice. When the facts are identified and looked at in the eye, it's our decision to spit in it's eye, or walk away and rise above.
 
B

Bazman

Guest
#5
#5
Totally agree, the blame culture started right from garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. At the end of the day Adam and Eve sinned but neither wanted to take responsibility. Hmmm it takes great humulity to accept when one sins but this is needed if we trully want to repent and restore our relationship with Christ. God Bless.
 
wisebeardman

wisebeardman

Banned
#6
Mar 22, 2013
4,718
124
63
Indiana
#6
In todays society you cant do anything wrong. and nobody has to live with choices they make.

take pre-marital sex.. used to be if you engage in such action kids out of wedlock are a good possibility, today people have given "get out of jail free" cards. (abortion,condoms,birth control)

if people actually had to live with the choice they made, things would be much much diferent
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#7
#7
I truly respect someone who can say, "I was wrong. No excuses.", take responsibility and change.

It would be so awesome to see those "buts" turn into -

I wasn't feeling well/I've been stressed out/I had a bad day, BUT that's no excuse for the way I treated you.
I was abused or neglected in some way in my life, BUT that's no excuse for making you yet another victim of the same.

My dad said he thought things worsened after his "I'm OK, you're OK" generation. It became okay to blame mom/dad/religion/politics/PMS/you name it.

I'm not okay. You're probably not okay either. We all need a Savior to forgive and heal, and to help us not to perpetuate this junk.
 
K

keep_on_smiling

Guest
#8
#8
We have allowed these "buts" for too long. I truly wish people were held accountable for their actions. People are baby-ed and are allowed to have excuses for inexcusable behavior. This is something I'm really struggling with right now. Overall God is in control and everyone is accountable for themselves in the end.
 
DuchessAimee

DuchessAimee

Senior Member
#9
Apr 27, 2011
3,922
129
63
#9
The thing is none of this is new. People have been blaming each other and circumstances since the garden. You can't say "Well, it's society today..." Nope. It's always been this way. The only real difference is the quantity of sin being committed.


People want to be blameless, but we don't want to admit we can't be blameless without Christ. People want to be perfect, but we're unwilling to say to God, "I need you." That's the true problem. That's the root. We are willful creatures whose pride is the mother of our sin; we are unwilling to get on our face before God, admit our sin, and ask for forgiveness.


We won't change until pain makes us. This is why God uses painful (e)motion. Because without pain, we would be stagnant.
 
Pipp

Pipp

Majestic Llamacorn
#10
Sep 17, 2013
5,542
2,720
113
Georgia
#10
no one wants to be accountable... that's why
 
B

Bazman

Guest
#11
#11
The sad thing is an apology to admit one is wrong to someone else gains respect. It breaks down barriers.

Its like when two people have an argument they build fortresses frightened to let their guard down. An apology basically means letting ones guard down to come out of our fortress and walk to someone elses asking them to forgive and hoping they will come out of their fortress as they stand above us at the top of their fortress we are hoping they will come down away from it and meet us.

Its a big thing to admit when we are wrong but how amazing when we accept that to be humbled we will be exalted.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#12
#12
Bazman said:
The sad thing is an apology to admit one is wrong to someone else gains respect. It breaks down barriers.

Its like when two people have an argument they build fortresses frightened to let their guard down. An apology basically means letting ones guard down to come out of our fortress and walk to someone elses asking them to forgive and hoping they will come out of their fortress as they stand above us at the top of their fortress we are hoping they will come down away from it and meet us.

Its a big thing to admit when we are wrong but how amazing when we accept that to be humbled we will be exalted.
Click to expand...
I love this idea...because yes, it's very much like that- the person apologizing is, in a way, taking a big risk by letting their guard down like that...and they are trusting (or maybe hoping, rather) that the other person will come down and forgive them, but (BUT...) there is always the chance that the other person will simply pull out the heavy artillery and launch another attack now that their opponent is vulnerable.

(Sorry Jules, I know that's a little off topic, BUT...it was a really good analogy...thing...yeah)
 
secularhermit

secularhermit

Banned
#13
May 3, 2013
8,719
75
0
#13
Pipp said:
no one wants to be accountable... that's why
Click to expand...
True!

No one like to be vulnerable, unless they learnt being so (soft) some chances can be improved and enhanced to get some joy and quality life.
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#14
Oct 24, 2012
16,420
447
83
#14
Bazman said:
Totally agree, the blame culture started right from garden of Eden when Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. At the end of the day Adam and Eve sinned but neither wanted to take responsibility. Hmmm it takes great humulity to accept when one sins but this is needed if we trully want to repent and restore our relationship with Christ. God Bless.
Click to expand...
It does take being accountable, responding to God's ability to teach us to do right by God in trust of God. Otherwise, we use excuses as I am forgiven, which we all are, but not as an excuse for to sin as the Corinthians did, used it for an occasion to get away with sin.
Wrong attitude IMOP it is not an excuse, rather an appreciation, thanking God for the pardon through Son.
Christ is not the scape goat for anyone of us to take for granted and harm our neighbor.
Rather it is the way, the truth and the new life in the Spirit of God by the resurrected Christ, that we do as led, just as Christ was led
So we thus walk as he walked
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#16
#16
MissCris said:
I love this idea...because yes, it's very much like that- the person apologizing is, in a way, taking a big risk by letting their guard down like that...and they are trusting (or maybe hoping, rather) that the other person will come down and forgive them, but (BUT...) there is always the chance that the other person will simply pull out the heavy artillery and launch another attack now that their opponent is vulnerable.

(Sorry Jules, I know that's a little off topic, BUT...it was a really good analogy...thing...yeah)
Click to expand...
Or sometimes they just shut you out and reject your apologies. Reject you and show no grace or explanation.
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#17
#17
It takes a strong, respectable, mature and humble person to do so. Because you are right, it SO hard to admit you're wrong, now you wanna take it to the next step and apologize. A lot of people don't even go for the first one!! :eek:


Bazman said:
The sad thing is an apology to admit one is wrong to someone else gains respect. It breaks down barriers.

Its like when two people have an argument they build fortresses frightened to let their guard down. An apology basically means letting ones guard down to come out of our fortress and walk to someone elses asking them to forgive and hoping they will come out of their fortress as they stand above us at the top of their fortress we are hoping they will come down away from it and meet us.

Its a big thing to admit when we are wrong but how amazing when we accept that to be humbled we will be exalted.
Click to expand...
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#18
#18
MissCris said:
I love this idea...because yes, it's very much like that- the person apologizing is, in a way, taking a big risk by letting their guard down like that...and they are trusting (or maybe hoping, rather) that the other person will come down and forgive them, but (BUT...) there is always the chance that the other person will simply pull out the heavy artillery and launch another attack now that their opponent is vulnerable.

(Sorry Jules, I know that's a little off topic, BUT...it was a really good analogy...thing...yeah)
Click to expand...
Some things are worth going off topic for...or maybe we're just diving in a little deeper :) No worries!
 
A

abby75

Guest
#20
#20
I think its due to the lack of morals in our society. When i was young you didnt hear about half the stuff on the news you do now. Everyone is growing up with this false sense of entitlement. I've gotten to the point that i don't even want to turn on the news or open a newspaper. That is why it is so important that we share the good news. Instead of reacting to something be proactive. Do something to make a difference. Introduce someone to the Gospel. Who knows what seeds you may plant.
 
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