Choice of Words

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#1
#1
I've noticed something in this forum that I've been wanting to comment on for a long time, but have been hesitant. But I think it needs to be said. I've seen a lot of people, both male and female, talk about waiting until marriage to "have sex". Are you ready for a truly adult conversation and perspective here? If you are using the words "have sex" in the same context with the person you plan to share your life with, you don't have the sort of intimacy you will need for the long haul.

When you find someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life, when you find someone you cannot wait to say "I do" to, if you find the other half of "the two shall become one flesh", you are NOT having sex, Beloved, you are making love. If you don't get that, trust me when I tell you that the intimacy between you and your spouse will deteriorate at some point. Things will become mechanical. One or both of you will lose interest.

Ask anyone who has been married for an extended period of time (whether the marriage is/was good or bad) and they'll tell you that there is a HUGE difference between "having sex" and "making love". Your choice of words says a lot about what you think of your relationship and your expectations of a future spouse. Please give this some thought.

This is a very old song my brother used to play on his guitar. I didn't get it when I was a kid, of course, but I sure learned when I grew up. :)

[video=youtube;9Kj-tdp7reE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kj-tdp7reE[/video]

I guarantee it will bring you down if you try and fool yourself.

 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#2
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#2
I had a nap, I also had butter pecan, chicken pox, a dog, some homework, a choice, and I even had cops after me once.

Tonight I made a pie and some cookies. I made a house for my cat, a birdhouse, and I made my room mate do the dishes.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#3
#3
I'd settle for the nap right now. :) I think I'll give that a shot..
 
R

Rachel20

Senior Member
#4
May 7, 2013
1,639
106
63
#4
Sigh. I think I want to get married now:p



[video=youtube;2Fr9BE8elu0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2Fr9BE8elu0[/video]
 
K

kenthomas27

Guest
#5
#5
Jullianna said:
I've noticed something in this forum that I've been wanting to comment on for a long time, but have been hesitant. But I think it needs to be said. I've seen a lot of people, both male and female, talk about waiting until marriage to "have sex". Are you ready for a truly adult conversation and perspective here? If you are using the words "have sex" in the same context with the person you plan to share your life with, you don't have the sort of intimacy you will need for the long haul.

When you find someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life, when you find someone you cannot wait to say "I do" to, if you find the other half of "the two shall become one flesh", you are NOT having sex, Beloved, you are making love. If you don't get that, trust me when I tell you that the intimacy between you and your spouse will deteriorate at some point. Things will become mechanical. One or both of you will lose interest.

Ask anyone who has been married for an extended period of time (whether the marriage is/was good or bad) and they'll tell you that there is a HUGE difference between "having sex" and "making love". Your choice of words says a lot about what you think of your relationship and your expectations of a future spouse. Please give this some thought.

This is a very old song my brother used to play on his guitar. I didn't get it when I was a kid, of course, but I sure learned when I grew up. :)



I guarantee it will bring you down if you try and fool yourself.
Click to expand...
Jullianna - I understand what you're saying and quite agree and I, like everyone else here, love you and not just in the Christian way but respect you and usually hang on every word you write and should in all seriousness take back the 3/4 of the chair to the store because of the edge I sit on is the only part I use when you post.....

but.....that song you put up just plain deserves this.....

[video=youtube;NqpNQ9AJYgU]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqpNQ9AJYgU&feature=player_detailpage[/video]
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#6
#6
Make love??
justin-bieber-wtf.jpg
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#8
#8
Julliana, if I understood you right, you are saying it is OK to make love before marriage. So what is this Make love includes?


Jullianna said:
I've noticed something in this forum that I've been wanting to comment on for a long time, but have been hesitant. But I think it needs to be said. I've seen a lot of people, both male and female, talk about waiting until marriage to "have sex". Are you ready for a truly adult conversation and perspective here? If you are using the words "have sex" in the same context with the person you plan to share your life with, you don't have the sort of intimacy you will need for the long haul.

When you find someone that you want to be with for the rest of your life, when you find someone you cannot wait to say "I do" to, if you find the other half of "the two shall become one flesh", you are NOT having sex, Beloved, you are making love. If you don't get that, trust me when I tell you that the intimacy between you and your spouse will deteriorate at some point. Things will become mechanical. One or both of you will lose interest.

Ask anyone who has been married for an extended period of time (whether the marriage is/was good or bad) and they'll tell you that there is a HUGE difference between "having sex" and "making love". Your choice of words says a lot about what you think of your relationship and your expectations of a future spouse. Please give this some thought.

This is a very old song my brother used to play on his guitar. I didn't get it when I was a kid, of course, but I sure learned when I grew up. :)

[video=youtube;9Kj-tdp7reE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Kj-tdp7reE[/video]

I guarantee it will bring you down if you try and fool yourself.
Click to expand...
 
N

NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#9
#9
IloveyouGod said:
Julliana, if I understood you right, you are saying it is OK to make love before marriage. So what is this Make love includes?
Click to expand...
I think i can safely speak for Jullianna here when i say, That is not​ what she meant.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#10
#10
Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not think premarital sex is okay. :) I'm talking about a spouse (which means husband and wife :) ).

p.s. thanks Nod :D
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#12
#12
Oh, ok, that make sense now cuz when you mentioned Make love you kept saying the word Someone instead of Spouse that's why I missunderstood it and therefore I asked what does making love includes.

But thanks for the clarification :)



Jullianna said:
Let me make this perfectly clear. I do not think premarital sex is okay. :) I'm talking about a spouse (which means husband and wife :) ).

p.s. thanks Nod :D
Click to expand...
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#13
#13
I want to thank y'all for your reception of this thread. I hesitated writing it for a very long time. I know there are people who know exactly what I'm praying others will avoid and that the pain is very fresh for some. God bless you and I am so sorry if this opened fresh wounds for you. This is something God put on my heart to share and I know that those who have been through this know above all others how very important it is to share this information with people BEFORE they marry. These are things people don't tell you until it's too late.

I was blessed. Very blessed. I married someone older and wiser than I who had been around the block a time or two before I met him. He understood and learned from the mistakes of his past, which permitted me to avoid them. It is only by the grace of God that I was spared many of the mistakes I write about. I do not write them boastfully. I write them prayerful and with a heart that longs to spare as much pain as possible for as many as possible in this world.

I remember him saying, "You know how you can drive to work every day and not notice things along the way? Just go through the motions like you are driving in your sleep? I don't want any time we spend together to be like that. I want to remember as many moments as possible." That is what I'm talking about here.

I'm not saying be all serious, hearts and flowers, blah, blah, blah. I'm saying have fun with your spouse, enjoy one another, love one another, cherish special time with one another, set aside time for one another, play, make it special. Those moments can be taken from you sooner than you think. Make them count.

P.S. - kenthomas, you are such a bwessing to me, Mr Fudd :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#14
#14
IloveyouGod said:
Oh, ok, that make sense now cuz when you mentioned Make love you kept saying the word Someone instead of Spouse that's why I missunderstood it and therefore I asked what does making love includes.

But thanks for the clarification :)
Click to expand...
You are very welcome. I'm so glad you asked so we could clear that up before someone else thought that and things took a downturn. haha :)
 
W

ww_21

Guest
#15
#15
I have made the personal choice of waiting till after I am married. I highly doubt that there is anyone or anything that can change this decision of mine. I would like to wait.. and I would absolutely love it if my husband waited as well that would make the moment all the more special. However, to each his own :D
 
Praus

Praus

Banned
#16
Dec 21, 2012
2,982
40
0
#16
antitroll.jpg
.........

Rachel20 said:
Sigh. I think I want to get married now:p



[video=youtube;2Fr9BE8elu0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=2Fr9BE8elu0[/video]
Click to expand...
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#18
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#18
While I agree and always thought there was a difference in making love and havng sex, mainly the mood and emotions involved. I think both can be done in a marriage as they totally different connotations to me.
 
M

MissCris

Guest
#19
#19
I absolutely understand what you're saying, Jules- and I agree, for the most part. It's amazing how powerful words can be- some of us learn that the hard way. And I think you are doing a very good thing, trying to help people in this area.

I do think, though, that more important than the words a married couple uses with each other, whether they call it 'having sex' or making love or whatever...far more important is the attitude behind it. If people are getting married mainly because they want to be able to have sex...then that's the wrong attitude and that's probably all it will ever be between them- sex. They could say they make love or call it anything else they want, but with the attitude they have about it, the words don't matter.

On the other hand, maybe a married couple is truly, honestly, openly intimate with each other in every way- spiritually, emotionally, mentally...everything. Then what they do behind closed doors, despite what they feel comfortable calling it...it's going to be love. It's going to be special.

...I sure hope that made the kind of sense I meant it to...
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#20
#20
MissCris said:
I absolutely understand what you're saying, Jules- and I agree, for the most part. It's amazing how powerful words can be- some of us learn that the hard way. And I think you are doing a very good thing, trying to help people in this area.

I do think, though, that more important than the words a married couple uses with each other, whether they call it 'having sex' or making love or whatever...far more important is the attitude behind it. If people are getting married mainly because they want to be able to have sex...then that's the wrong attitude and that's probably all it will ever be between them- sex. They could say they make love or call it anything else they want, but with the attitude they have about it, the words don't matter.

On the other hand, maybe a married couple is truly, honestly, openly intimate with each other in every way- spiritually, emotionally, mentally...everything. Then what they do behind closed doors, despite what they feel comfortable calling it...it's going to be love. It's going to be special.

...I sure hope that made the kind of sense I meant it to...
Click to expand...
Thanks for posting this....ditto. I was gonna say pretty much the same thing,but you did it in a much less long-winded diatribe than I would have. lol :)

P.S. good thread Julz:)
 
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