Single Women interest with A Married Man Not Sure If Going To Divorce ? (Must Read)

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iraasuup

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
#41
Apr 5, 2013
185
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#41
So if a woman is being physically abused she shouldn't divorce? If her husband is have adulterous affairs and is unrepentant of this and wants to continue in this lifestyle, she shouldn't divorce him...because 'divorce is wrong'? Gimme a break man!

I know God dislikes divorce.. and I think I can safely speak for most people who have experienced divorce that nobody actually enjoys the experience. Even if the marriage was painful and not at all a pleasant experience, the divorce process is gut-wrenching. However, sometimes the only way to fix a problem is to make a difficult and painful choice to remove the root of said problem. I know when I took my vows I meant them. I never stood there and said 'oh well if things get tough there's always divorce'. Quite the contrary actually. I loved him, I did everything to make it work...but that's another story for another time.

While I agree that divorce is horrible, and yes sometimes the world sees it as an easy 'get out of jail free card' option, I don't believe you or anyone for that matter can justify blanket statements such as 'ALL DIVORCE IS WRONG' without really knowing the situation. It's never as black and white as that. Everyone's individual situation is different, and God is a gracious loving God...he sees our hearts and our motives. God is bigger than our circumstance and he desires only the best for us...I don't believe 'abuse/putting up with unrepentant adulterous spouses' falls into the category of 'the best for us' (purely an example of course).

Like anything in life, sometimes you have to go through the darkest valleys, experience gut-wrenching pain, and become completely broken before you can see the glorious rainbow on the other side.

Source: Experience.
 
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Sponge_Bob

Guest
#42
#42
All divorce is wrong. Now stepping away from the situation or being "separated" is something else. But me divorcing my wife pulling over on a curb and kicking her out because shes done the most horrible thing to me is always wrong. That will always and forever be wrong. In order to turn your back on your wife or husband your heart has to be hardened and in the wrong place. Do me a favor and ask God right now what does he think of divorce? Guess what he is going to agree with me and say I dont like it.

Source: God
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
#43
#43
Sponge_Bob said:
All divorce is wrong. Now stepping away from the situation or being "separated" is something else. But me divorcing my wife pulling over on a curb and kicking her out because shes done the most horrible thing to me is always wrong. That will always and forever be wrong. In order to turn your back on your wife or husband your heart has to be hardened and in the wrong place. Do me a favor and ask God right now what does he think of divorce? Guess what he is going to agree with me and say I dont like it.

Source: God
Click to expand...

So, a woman who is being beaten should stay with her husband, because divorce is wrong?
 
iraasuup

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
#44
Apr 5, 2013
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#44
Le sigh.

Clearly you didn't actually read my post.

Also, you've never been married, and never been in a situation so hopeless so you couldn't possible understand.

Servantstrike...precisely the point I'm making. I believe this whole blanket statement of 'all divorce is wrong' actually causes more harm then good. It gives those kind of guys (and women) leverage. ie; if a guy (or woman) is an abuser.. he/she will say ' you can't divorce me cos it's wrong' to manipulate their spouse...all the while they have no intention of changing their behaviour.

While that's not always the case, I'm just giving the example that it can and does happen.

Until one has actually walked in anothers shoes...they really have no place making such a statement. However, it's his opinion, and he's entitled to have it. I'm not against one having such an opinion on divorce.. in fact it's admirable. We all aspire to have that perfect marriage. What I AM OPPOSED TO, is people using such an opinion to cast condemnation and judgement on others when they have ZERO knowledge of that persons situation/circumstance.
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#45
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#45
Sponge_Bob said:
All divorce is wrong. Now stepping away from the situation or being "separated" is something else. But me divorcing my wife pulling over on a curb and kicking her out because shes done the most horrible thing to me is always wrong. That will always and forever be wrong. In order to turn your back on your wife or husband your heart has to be hardened and in the wrong place. Do me a favor and ask God right now what does he think of divorce? Guess what he is going to agree with me and say I dont like it.

Source: God
Click to expand...

This is how God wants a man to treat his wife

[h=3]Ephesians 5:28-29 ESV / [/h]In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,

My source is also God.

[h=3]Colossians 3:19 ESV / [/h]Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.




[h=3]Ephesians 5:25 ESV / [/h]Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,


There are also women who will physically abuse their husbands. God does not want that either

Peace and God Bless
 
S

Sponge_Bob

Guest
#46
#46
you ever heard of separating for a period of time or for however long? theres that option and that is your last resort after of course if several other options dont work.....but yea man divorce remains wrong. Its not like divorce is ever going to become good...
 
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Sponge_Bob

Guest
#47
#47
Yes I agree with what you said Fenner very much and I think we should strive to treat our wives better and better. I just have never been a fan of divorce. But yes Fenner I believe in what you posted very much and think every man should. Your wife is apart of you. You attack her you are attacking yourself.
 
S

Sponge_Bob

Guest
#48
#48
There is always separation iraasuup.....just leaving your abusive situation but not divorcing.....
 
iraasuup

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
#49
Apr 5, 2013
185
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#49
Sponge_Bob said:
you ever heard of separating for a period of time or for however long? theres that option and that is your last resort after of course if several other options dont work.....but yea man divorce remains wrong. Its not like divorce is ever going to become good...
Click to expand...
This is laughable.
1. Yes, of course I have. While I do recognise that the worldy view of marriage has become so flippant that people divorce on a whim nowadays, most Christians (and in general many people Christian or otherwise) do try everything...divorce is the last resort. Most people try counselling, they try separation, they'd move to MARS if it would make any difference. However, sometimes it just isn't that simple. I'll spare you the nitty gritty of my own personal experience... but let me saying making a statement like 'you ever heard of separating' goes to show just how immature an uninformed on the subject of marriage you really are. Do you think we're all living under a rock or something?

2. At no time did I ever say divorce is good. In some cases however, after the initial pain and the healing process of course, it is the solution to a hopeless situation and MAKES WAY for the new/good situation in a persons life.
 
G

GodlyGirlCasey

Guest
#50
#50
Sponge_Bob said:
Divorce is just wrong plain and simple. No matter how we justify it...it remains wrong.
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Sponge Bob. Please provide scripture that specifically says that a believer who is being abused in marriage must stay. Since your above statement condemns me for my unbelieving, abusive spouse filing for divorce after we have been separated for three years.

Awful funny that I am in the wrong according to you because 1Corinthians 7:15 clearly states that if the unbelieving spouse departs, the believer is not held in bondage.

ServantStrike said:
So, a woman who is being beaten should stay with her husband, because divorce is wrong?
Click to expand...
That is part of my point.
 
vic1980

vic1980

Senior Member
#51
Apr 25, 2013
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#51
Grace-Like-Rain said:
I don't believe anyone would dispute the fact that God hates divorce. I believe the issue here is that sometimes there isn't anything humanly possible that we can do to prevent it, if the other person is not on-board.
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Agree sometimes one does all they possibly can do, and it just does not work out, due that there heart is not there. Besides God knows the situation why it occurs always, He knows the Heart of men.

1 Crinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

peace should be simple but in reality sometimes its not.


God Bless
 
S

Sponge_Bob

Guest
#52
#52
GodlyGirlCasey....do you believe that divorce is wrong? My answer to this would be yes it is wrong. This is my sole and only point....geesh...if you disagree with me there is nothing else to say.
 
S

Sponge_Bob

Guest
#53
#53
Iraasuup I am guy that does not believe in divorce and you are a woman that does. I can't change that about me and obviously you are the way you are. I have a gf and we both dont believe in divorce. I would not want to marry someone that believes that divorce is an option lol. I want to marry someone who has the kind of grit to soldier through with me to the end. You think im wrong okay i can live with that.
 
G

GodlyGirlCasey

Guest
#54
#54
Sponge_Bob said:
GodlyGirlCasey....do you believe that divorce is wrong? My answer to this would be yes it is wrong. This is my sole and only point....geesh...if you disagree with me there is nothing else to say.
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Actually there is. If you believe the blanket statement that divorce is wrong then you should be able to prove that in every circumstance it is wrong with scripture. So please prove to me that The Bible says that divorce is specifically wrong in my case where there was abuse and the non-believing spouse filed for our divorce.
 
iraasuup

iraasuup

Moderator
Staff member
#55
Apr 5, 2013
185
5
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#55
I don't think you're wrong. I always said myself I never believed in divorce, until it happened to me. To this day, I still believe that God hates divorce.. and I hated having to experience it.. but it is what it is. It wasn't my choice and it's done now. I do believe now (having the perspective to look at it from the other side) that it was BEST in my situation. God knows the situation, and as much as it pains him to see my marriage end that way, I'm sure his heart broke to see what was happening IN my marriage too. So, all I'm saying is it's not as black and white as you might think it is. If it were just a case of having 'tough moments' it would be a lot different...but obviously that wasn't the case.

That part of my life is over...and I'm better for it. I'm moving forward with my life. I hope I never have to experience that again, and I have learnt A LOT about relationships as a result of this. I hope if you marry your girlfriend that everything is sunshine lollipops and rainbows... but as you grow up and experience things, you may realise things aren't always what they seem.

Please understand...I'm not belittling your choice to disagree with divorce. I think it's wonderful that you honour and value marriage. Guess what? So do I...unfortunately he didn't and my life fell apart as a result. I don't think your opinion itself is wrong.. I think using your opinion in the manner you did (casting a blanket statement over EVERY situation) is wrong. I heard that when I was going through my divorce. People who had ZERO understanding of what was happening in my marriage condemning me as a sinner, when the truth is unless it was happening to them, they really have no clue...and no right to judge. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

That's all. I'm not here to argue, I just think you should think first before making such generalised blanket statements about things and realise that there are some things in life that you may not understand. Things that aren't simply black and white...and things you cannot pass judgement on without having experienced them. Your passion is great, but it would be better fuelled towards praying for people in such situations, rather than condemning them with your holier-than- thou attitude.

That's all.

Blessings.
 
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Sponge_Bob

Guest
#56
#56
Well i cant prove to you anything GodlyGirlCasey...At the end of the day you got to make up your own mine. Now I could show you verses that would say and suggest that God hates divorce but at the end of the day you have to make up your own mind...simple as that.
 
Praus

Praus

Banned
#57
Dec 21, 2012
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#57

Luke 6:39 He also told them a parable: “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?
 
G

GodlyGirlCasey

Guest
#58
#58
Sponge_Bob said:
Well i cant prove to you anything GodlyGirlCasey...At the end of the day you got to make up your own mine. Now I could show you verses that would say and suggest that God hates divorce but at the end of the day you have to make up your own mind...simple as that.
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Guess what? I hate it too. Divorce is painful for everyone it touches. However, having said that I believe what the Bible says about it. Divorce is acceptable in only a couple of circumstances; Marital Unfaithfulness, Abuse and If the unbelieving spouse leaves.

My particular case involves two of those Biblical reasons. So my request is that before you make such hurtful, condemning blanket statements, please pause to consider that not all circumstances are alike.

I apologize for my own rudeness toward your posts and ask your forgiveness. This is a very sensitive subject for me and a tender one as my own divorce is in court now.
 
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Sponge_Bob

Guest
#59
#59
Of course I forgive you. And I hope everything smoothes out for you and I'm sure if you love God everything will workout for you. And honestly I dont think that you were being rude..you were just speaking your mind and being honest with how you felt. Anyways putting this whole conversation aside....Just try and make yourself truly happy if you are not already there...I hope you receive what I am saying in a positive way anyways seeya
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#60
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
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#60
Its actually threads like this that make me never want to have children.

What if my son becomes a murder or a Rapist or is murdered or dies in a Car accident or whatever. The only sure way to see that none of this happens is simply to not have children.

The only sure way to dodge divorce, is simply to not get married.

And if divorce is this heinous evil that you say it is, then marriage is never worth the risk.
 
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