as a side note to this discussion, i am a bit surprised so many who feel it is wrong to even discuss this subject here. there have been a few people who have either stated plainly or intimated that it should only be discussed in private, and i am a bit mystified by this.
in fact, a verse that has been both referenced both directly and indirectly is Ephesians 5:12, in support of not discussing the subject of oral sex. I believe this is being used incorrectly, and would like to offer my understanding of this passage:
5:12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret. NKJ
i believe the context of this passage plays a critical role in interpreting this verse correctly, both the audience, and the intent of the message. for the sake of time, focusing specifically on this verse, i think it's particularly helpful to look at this passage as it would be in the rough/literal translation and order of the greek, which would be:
the things done in secret by them, it is a shame even to speak of
the "things" are the "unfruitful deeds of darkness" referenced in the previous verse, 5:11, are sinful acts, works of the flesh that are sinful and no good can come from, thus they seek the darkness of concealment, are unfruitful (as no good comes from them). the "them" is the unsaved gentiles, and sexual immorality was rampant in ephesus.
to paraphrase this verse (with my understanding) is: christian shouldn't be a party to, discuss, or participate in any those activities that can be defined as "unfruitful deeds of darkness", such as sexual immorality. in fact, you'll notice in some translations, they interpret this verse as "It is shameful even to talk about the things that the disobedient (or ungodly people) do in secret"
subsequently, i don't see how this verse has anything to do with the marital bed, or oral sex between a married couple.
i do believe the bible has instructed that it is vulgar to discuss details that are intended to be private, such as intimate sexual details. but i don't understand why anyone would find it wrong, or unbecoming as a christian to discuss this subject in an academic fashion, specifically for the purpose of discussing of edification, and seeking what is right and wrong.
please correct me if i am wrong. i certainly understand why one might feel uncomfortable in discussing the topic altogether, but that doesn't mean it is inappropriate across the board.
thanks.