Saying No To Someone Who Is Not Christian

[David_1]

OK, quick preface, I work with a guy who is super sweet, into a lot of the same things as me, and has a lot of qualities that recommend him. Problem is he is definitely not a Christian. He is not rude about it, but has been upfront that he feels science and religion dont mix and therefore science wins and there cant be a God.

I dont know for sure that he likes me, but a few work friends have said they think he might, and as much as I am starting to really like him I dont want to date someone who is not a Christian. I feel like the bible is pretty clear on the matter and it breaks my heart just thinking about my friends not going to heaven, but to be in a relationship with someone and knowing that they arnt, it hurts just to think about. Not to mention physical expectations he might have for the relationships that are likely different from my biblical ones.

So I guess my question is, how do I say to him, or realistically any guy, that I cant/wont date him because hes not a Christian without sounding like a stuck up, holier-then-thou jerk?

Has anyone had any experience with this situation? Can you advise on the best way to handle the situation?

Wait..... so this is not an opportunity for you to win over a soul?

I think it's easy to give up and hide behind the 'yoke' verses. You haven't even given him a chance to change.

[h=3]Mark 2:13-17[/h]King James Version (KJV)

13 And he went forth again by the sea side; and all the multitude resorted unto him, and he taught them.
14 And as he passed by, he saw Levi the son of Alphaeus sitting at the receipt of custom, and said unto him, Follow me. And he arose and followed him.
15 And it came to pass, that, as Jesus sat at meat in his house, many publicans and sinners sat also together with Jesus and his disciples: for there were many, and they followed him.
16 And when the scribes and Pharisees saw him eat with publicans and sinners, they said unto his disciples, How is it that he eateth and drinketh with publicans and sinners?
17 When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

 

[ww_21]

I honestly would prefer to date a christian simply because of my own history I have never been with a christian man it was always those who go for Science and so on so I believe dating a Christian man would be great, think about it you could actually go to church with him, discuss your faith, you could pray together and if things work out he could one day be the spiritual leader of your house so I get where you're coming from because if I were you I'd be doing the same thing. I say just go for it, tell him you think he's a great person and you are not being an overly religions person BUT you would like to date a christian man rather than a nonbeliever who knows, this would get him to take a step towards the right direction.

 

[biscuit]

OK, quick preface, I work with a guy who is super sweet, into a lot of the same things as me, and has a lot of qualities that recommend him. Problem is he is definitely not a Christian. He is not rude about it, but has been upfront that he feels science and religion dont mix and therefore science wins and there cant be a God.

I dont know for sure that he likes me, but a few work friends have said they think he might, and as much as I am starting to really like him I dont want to date someone who is not a Christian. I feel like the bible is pretty clear on the matter and it breaks my heart just thinking about my friends not going to heaven, but to be in a relationship with someone and knowing that they arnt, it hurts just to think about. Not to mention physical expectations he might have for the relationships that are likely different from my biblical ones.

So I guess my question is, how do I say to him, or realistically any guy, that I cant/wont date him because hes not a Christian without sounding like a stuck up, holier-then-thou jerk?

Has anyone had any experience with this situation? Can you advise on the best way to handle the situation?

Just tell them you are not available

 

[SaintBobby]

U know bisque t there is the perfect guy has in store for you
U know your scriptures Paul tells us in his first letter to
The Corinthians 6.

We're to vulnerable to the
forces of darkness

E especially if they're exposed to its in a living
Relationship.

What has lightness have to do with darkness,?

When the 2 join they become one

 

[SaintBobby]

I encourage u to stay connected to sites like this
And church whiff...

 

[Seme]

"Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, 'I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate,' says the Lord. 'And do not touch what is unclean; And I will welcome you. And I will be a Father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to Me,' Says the Lord Almighty." (2 Corinthians 6:14-18).

 

[just_monicat]

If he asks you out or something. thank him for the compliment. Tell him you realize that it too him a lot of courage to ask you this, and you're pleased that he thinks you're worth pursuing, but you don't think the two of you have enough shared values to get along with each other outside of the workplace. If he asks, point out Christianity and a couple of other things.

I don't recommend telling him you won't date him because he isn't a Christian. I have seen relationships like that where the agnostic started going to church without any religious conviction at all, so that they could date the Christian. It put the Christian half of the couple on the spot, he/she still was unimpressed with the other's beliefs but now couldn't say it. And that kind of thing often leads to the unbeliever leaving the church after the breakup.

i second this. i have made the mistake of giving that info to the guy. what has happened almost every time is that the guy tells me he's actually interested in Christianity,used to be a christian, or it feels like some awkward effort to negotiate a date anyway. and then, if he says he's interested in learning, i then end up in another awkward situation, wanting to acknowledge and encourage their interest while still trying to maintain the message that i'm not interested.

now, if i feel obligated to answer a request, i usually will say something like, "i'm sorry, i only date committed christians who are involved with/attend a church".

 

[secularhermit]

@ Monica

"... i usually will say something like, "i'm sorry, i only date committed christians who are involved with/attend a church..."

Now you gave an info that can be faked by those who pretend to be real.

 

[just_monicat]

@ Monica

"... i usually will say something like, "i'm sorry, i only date committed christians who are involved with/attend a church..."

Now you gave an info that can be faked by those who pretend to be real.

no, not really. when i say, "already attending church" that usually ends the conversation, because they can't just offer their feelings on the topic. by making it clear they need a track record of involvement (which is what i'm looking for, by the way) it's something that can't be faked. or at least not so far.

i always hope that even that information makes them interested in finding out more about a life serving God.

 

[secularhermit]

no, not really. when i say, "already attending church" that usually ends the conversation, because they can't just offer their feelings on the topic. by making it clear they need a track record of involvement (which is what i'm looking for, by the way) it's something that can't be faked. or at least not so far.

i always hope that even that information makes them interested in finding out more about a life serving God.

He! He!

He has a godly perfume... I have founded out that if God wills, his perfume is enough for your eyes.

I´m convinced He (God) will lead both to do GOD´s will. Otherwise, it is us seeking and seeking, and always failing.

I laughed at those saying "I´m a churchgoer", but "the church" and that committent is in their hearst, their minds, acting accordingly to verifiable deeds.