Yes I agree but it isn't even just physical appearance we think we have done or haven't done something whether it is not showing enough affection or not saying enough kind words. We take it very personal to us it isn't as simple as our husband looking at another woman to us it is him looking at another woman to get pleasure so we must be doing something wrong. I think people sometimes forget that the wives are victims too. It is difficult to be understanding rather than angry when you first start dealing with this issues because it is so very hurtful. Why not spend that time more productively, consciously make the decision to do something nice for your wife instead. Write her a note telling her how much you love her. Put together a picnic lunch or something. Shame and regret is a terrible replacement for love. You can be absolutely certain that your wife is hurting as we'll. make no mistake about that. It is a relationship issue but she needs you to show her you still love her and only then can she get over the hurt and be supportive.
Sex/Lust/Porn addiction is a monstrous, ravenous, horrific, affliction I'd wish on no one. I was caught up in this sin for many years, even after accepting Christ. I tried virtually everything I could think of to stop. Even going so far as to seriously contemplate Jesus' admonition to remove the offending member. Nothing worked for more than a week or two, usually not that long. It almost ruined my marriage, but thankfully my wife stayed with me. Although as I have said I accepted Christ, I hadn't fully understood what that entailed. I believe the Lord chastened me, as I went through a very rough time. The answer to stopping this, or any other sin is what you choose to feed. Every day we have the choice to feed our flesh or feed our spirit. I was starving my spirit, and gorging my flesh. Now,I realize I MUST feed the spirit DAILY, if I fail to pray DAILY, if I neglect to read God's Word DAILY, or if I dabble with or make provision with sin, such as watching an inappropriate sex related show, then my flesh will try and creep back and I find myself reverting back to lustful thoughts. I hope this helps you.
I pray wives dealing with this could understand that porn/sex addiction has NOTHING to do with them. The flesh is insatiable and it doesn't matter if you were a super model, men who are caught up in this sin will continue it til they feed their spirit instead. See if your husbands are willing to pray with you and study the Word DAILY.