pornography addiction (warning adult themes)

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PennEd

Senior Member
Apr 22, 2013
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#21
Yes I agree but it isn't even just physical appearance we think we have done or haven't done something whether it is not showing enough affection or not saying enough kind words. We take it very personal to us it isn't as simple as our husband looking at another woman to us it is him looking at another woman to get pleasure so we must be doing something wrong. I think people sometimes forget that the wives are victims too. It is difficult to be understanding rather than angry when you first start dealing with this issues because it is so very hurtful. Why not spend that time more productively, consciously make the decision to do something nice for your wife instead. Write her a note telling her how much you love her. Put together a picnic lunch or something. Shame and regret is a terrible replacement for love. You can be absolutely certain that your wife is hurting as we'll. make no mistake about that. It is a relationship issue but she needs you to show her you still love her and only then can she get over the hurt and be supportive.

Sex/Lust/Porn addiction is a monstrous, ravenous, horrific, affliction I'd wish on no one. I was caught up in this sin for many years, even after accepting Christ. I tried virtually everything I could think of to stop. Even going so far as to seriously contemplate Jesus' admonition to remove the offending member. Nothing worked for more than a week or two, usually not that long. It almost ruined my marriage, but thankfully my wife stayed with me. Although as I have said I accepted Christ, I hadn't fully understood what that entailed. I believe the Lord chastened me, as I went through a very rough time. The answer to stopping this, or any other sin is what you choose to feed. Every day we have the choice to feed our flesh or feed our spirit. I was starving my spirit, and gorging my flesh. Now,I realize I MUST feed the spirit DAILY, if I fail to pray DAILY, if I neglect to read God's Word DAILY, or if I dabble with or make provision with sin, such as watching an inappropriate sex related show, then my flesh will try and creep back and I find myself reverting back to lustful thoughts. I hope this helps you.

I pray wives dealing with this could understand that porn/sex addiction has NOTHING to do with them. The flesh is insatiable and it doesn't matter if you were a super model, men who are caught up in this sin will continue it til they feed their spirit instead. See if your husbands are willing to pray with you and study the Word DAILY.
 
A

Anna20fAustralia

Guest
#22
Hi, I havent written here for ages but this is my two cents worth (I think that is the expression). I just wanted to say that there is so much stuff all over the place that I feel that everyone gets exposed to it and that it is not just a guy thing. Girls look at this stuff too and pretty much get addicted. It is something that I struggle with too so just wanted to let anyone who needs support that they are not alone.
 
Sep 10, 2013
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#23
Hi I am 22y.o male and for the past few years ive been watching porn. It started when i was around 14 when me anda few friends started looming up porn and swapping videos we found.
From there it became a way for.me to cope with problems. Family health, failed relationshops, school. Used porn to escape them all. Eventually the "normal" stuff did nothing for me so i began watching more harder and bizzarre stuff.
Now im 23, married with a baby on the way and its still my way of copeing woth arguements.
I hate myself for watching it and always feel so dirty after it but that just makes me feel worse and want to watch more.
I troed quitting before.but only managed about 2 weeks.

Its a vicious cycle that i want to break. I want a better relationship with my wife and god. At the minite I dont consider myself a christian because i feel the addiction is stopping me from having the relationship with god that id like.

Any advice or help would be great.
I recently listened to an interview that was taken by a laic person to a monk; at some point, the monk said that God loves us more than we can imagine. Yes, we read in the Bible and in the patristic litterature that He loves us, but we still can`t understand at what unlimited point He does. He loves and accepts us with all our decrepitudes and filthyness; the only thing that we have to do is to be sincere with ourselves and come to Him as we are: sinners and powerless.

The fact that you struggle with porn addiction is a sign that you are not insensitive to the sin; you watch although you know it`s a sin and that makes you feel even more filthy and you feel like you are slowly dieing; there are people that watch porn and don`t even understand the monstruosity they do, their conscience is already dead, they perveted their conscience to such a level that they call good, evil and evil, good; yours is not! You can go to God, honest and humble and present yourself to Him as who you really are. If you do not have the power to pray loudly, then keep a deep silence and let your conscience speak to God and even cry if you feel like you are so powerless. Just be honest with God. That`s all.

I will post an image from the interview, because that monk is very dear to me.
64394105_640.jpg
 
May 15, 2013
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#24
Hi I am 22y.o male and for the past few years ive been watching porn. It started when i was around 14 when me anda few friends started looming up porn and swapping videos we found.
From there it became a way for.me to cope with problems. Family health, failed relationshops, school. Used porn to escape them all. Eventually the "normal" stuff did nothing for me so i began watching more harder and bizzarre stuff.
Now im 23, married with a baby on the way and its still my way of copeing woth arguements.
I hate myself for watching it and always feel so dirty after it but that just makes me feel worse and want to watch more.
I troed quitting before.but only managed about 2 weeks.

Its a vicious cycle that i want to break. I want a better relationship with my wife and god. At the minite I dont consider myself a christian because i feel the addiction is stopping me from having the relationship with god that id like.

Any advice or help would be great.
As long as you aren't hurting anybody, you shouldn't worrying about it; but if it is hurting your wife, then you should focus on reading the scriptures and exercising. You have to much time and energy on your hand.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#25
As long as you aren't hurting anybody, you shouldn't worrying about it; but if it is hurting your wife, then you should focus on reading the scriptures and exercising. You have to much time and energy on your hand.
Isn't addiction, by it's very nature, a hurtful problem.
And it is hurtful spiritually as it goes against things the bible teach on.
What if it is God convicting him of it? And you're telling him not to worry. He apparently has his own convictions based off the bible and maybe God working in his life. Its even disrupted his relationship with God and your attitude it 'its not big deal'?
 
Sep 10, 2013
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#26
I agree with Ugly. Pornographic images are very harmful for the soul because they imprint in your mind. This is why we find trouble in focusing on prayer because the images that are stored in our brains won`t just simply dissapear. They haunt you and don`t leave you alone. A priest said that the children`s prayers go directly to God, because their minds and hearts aren`t corrupted by sin, but our prayers need cleansing from the angels because the memory of the sin divert us from contemplating God.
 
J

J-Kay-2

Guest
#27
Hi, I havent written here for ages but this is my two cents worth (I think that is the expression). I just wanted to say that there is so much stuff all over the place that I feel that everyone gets exposed to it and that it is not just a guy thing. Girls look at this stuff too and pretty much get addicted. It is something that I struggle with too so just wanted to let anyone who needs support that they are not alone.

Anna: I noticed this topic was 2013 and was reading along until I found
you picked up on it. Still a timely topic. One that will go on forever. You
are right, women can be addicted. Mine was as a very young child into
adulthood. Then Christ came into my life and cleansed me. I needed prayer
though. A deliverance in a sense. But it did rear its ugly head at times
I least expected it as far and TV or Movies. Novels. All these things had
to be put out of sight. Reading scriptures and of course Bible Studies,
Church attendance and Prayer meetings and Christian friends all played
a role in my mental thoughts. It is what we put in our minds that affects
what we feed our spirits. I am today, saddened that commercials are so
full of sexual innuendos. I praise Jesus for conviction. I know it is only
by His loving grace I am who I am today. I pray for the addicted. I have
pity for those who fight the ugly monster of sexual temptation.

God bless you and may the Lord God keep us all in His care and keep us
aware the enemy never sleeps.... J~K~2
 
May 3, 2013
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#28
Sex addiction has many things to do with those "bodily" apetites. No one really want to die missing some (or each) of them. These are coctel of hormones running in the mind, the blood stream and -pitifully- last nothig, particularly if it porn.

Love is another thing,but we grew associating "love" with "sex" and, ebven at my age, some feel weŕe losing part of thia life we don't to miss (or lose).

The good thing is GOD is concerned on those "needs", bodily appetites.

One thi ng I learned: Love is a prerequisite. Don't indulge yourself with those who will not be commited to an exclusive relationship with you, you solely.

I often laghed at my fallling in love for Brooke Shields... I felt I loved her up to the moment I saw she kissed that blonf boy Atkins. Ha! Ha! Those feelings hurt me a lot but, WAS I ENGAGED? Did I loved her FOR THE PERSON SHE IS or for her face? (And those things I could imagine about her). She is LARGER than I am... Ja! Ja!

I will phone called her to tell her I "loved" her as much I have loved France Joli or April Lavigne... Ha! Ha! There is a big difference in INFATUATING and loving, but I needed to know what those things were to know what love is (just to avoid those idealizations porn leads us to be believed).

Love is a firm decision! Porn is an addition (similar to overeating) :p
 
May 15, 2013
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#29
I agree with Ugly. Pornographic images are very harmful for the soul because they imprint in your mind. This is why we find trouble in focusing on prayer because the images that are stored in our brains won`t just simply dissapear. They haunt you and don`t leave you alone. A priest said that the children`s prayers go directly to God, because their minds and hearts aren`t corrupted by sin, but our prayers need cleansing from the angels because the memory of the sin divert us from contemplating God.
John 8:9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Romans 7:15
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Matthew 26:41
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Matthew 18:6
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Matthew 18:7
Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!

We all have some sort of weakness, but his is in the porn industry. But the ones that are putting it out there to make the weak-minded people stumble, are the ones that have to worry. In due time God will healed them from their addictions.



Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
 
Sep 10, 2013
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#30
John 8:9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Romans 7:15
I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.

Matthew 26:41
“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Matthew 18:6
“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

Matthew 18:7
Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come!
We all have some sort of weakness, but his is in the porn industry. But the ones that are putting it out there to make the weak-minded people stumble, are the ones that have to worry. In due time God will healed them from their addictions.



Ecclesiastes 3:1
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
I saw that you wrote with different coulours the sentences "No one, sir" and "woe to the person through whom they come". It saddens me that my post have been received that way, as a judgemental post, for it was not at all my purpose (maybe you can even notice that I used the plural "our" which means that I talk from, at least, an equal position to the sinner and not from the height of an eagle).
I still believe that porn addiction is very, very, very harmful for the soul of the one that watches and I think that the opener thinks the same way since he came here for help.
 
Aug 15, 2009
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#31
What might help you, is to also read about the physiological/hormonal effects. Check out: Your Brain On Porn Series: Porn Addiction | Your Brain On Porn

There is also a secular/non-religious movement called NoFap (from the reddit sub) where a lot of men are abstaining from P and M, in order to improve their sex lives and physical functioning.


I found that learning more, beyond the moralising helps you. Every piece of information can help.

Because sometimes people link the porn addiction purely with disobeying God and then falsely think it's only a religious matter. A lot of people leave Christianity over it.

But if you can become aware of the physical affects it has on you, like hormone levels, erectile dysfunction etc... you see a physical manifestation of something that is disordered.

So being addicted doesn't make you a bad Christian.

God Bless you with the struggle.
I watched this series & learned a great deal about dopamine addiction. One of the things the series mentioned was that we can raise dopamine levels with a variety of things, such as the satisfaction of a project being completed, fixing something broken, etc., etc. It made me realize that dopamine overload can make it very difficult to overcome such bad habits due to NOT feeling satisfied with any amount of success until the brain reconfigures itself.

But the good news is there's a replacement therapy, if you think about it. Worshipping God has a very powerful feeling of satisfaction to it. When a person is changed by the Spirit of God, there's not just a dopamine rush, but a sense of being a better person because you are. We are changed from glory to glory, even by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18). With that change comes a real satisfaction that doesn't go away when the 'rush' is gone.

Prayer & praise are weapons to use against addictions, because they not only push out evil desires, they leave the christian with a true feeling of spiritual accomplishment & that's always good.

When David was in a terrible situation, he encouraged himself in the Lord (1 Samuel 30:1-20), & this led to victory & recovery of all he had lost.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#32
I saw that you wrote with different coulours the sentences "No one, sir" and "woe to the person through whom they come". It saddens me that my post have been received that way, as a judgemental post, for it was not at all my purpose (maybe you can even notice that I used the plural "our" which means that I talk from, at least, an equal position to the sinner and not from the height of an eagle).
I still believe that porn addiction is very, very, very harmful for the soul of the one that watches and I think that the opener thinks the same way since he came here for help.
Your response wasn't judgmental sounding at all. Some people just like to put others down.
 
May 15, 2013
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#33
I saw that you wrote with different coulours the sentences "No one, sir" and "woe to the person through whom they come". It saddens me that my post have been received that way, as a judgemental post, for it was not at all my purpose (maybe you can even notice that I used the plural "our" which means that I talk from, at least, an equal position to the sinner and not from the height of an eagle).
I still believe that porn addiction is very, very, very harmful for the soul of the one that watches and I think that the opener thinks the same way since he came here for help.
I still see that people are not understanding that there is no sin out weigh another; but when a person that accept their own personal sin over others, that make them judgmental or bias. That is why God want us to remove the log from our own eyes, in order to see the speck in our neighbors eyes to remove it. Being lover of porn is no different from any other sin, and even the love for money and is the one that we can't depart from that causes all other type of sin. The rich man had obeyed all the laws and commands and which he had thought; but he had neglected the two most important commands, and that is to love the Lord your God and your neighbor as well. He has abandoned God and the poor (which they are his neighbor) and kept his wealth. That is why we shouldn't judge or we will be judging our own selves like David had done. The only thing that I can see that the OP 'er has done wrong was that he exposed himself to others, instead of keeping hidden. He should of had just said that he has a problem that it is hard for him to break. By him exposing himself cause others to become bias. So the best way to help someone that is living in sin is to treat that their offense as if it is your offense. The devil love to catch someone off guard.

1 Timothy 3:3
not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.

2 Timothy 3:2
People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,

Hebrews 13:5
Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”

2 Samuel 12:4
“Now a traveler came to the rich man, but the rich man refrained from taking one of his own sheep or cattle to prepare a meal for the traveler who had come to him. Instead, he took the ewe lamb that belonged to the poor man and prepared it for the one who had come to him.” 5 David burned with anger against the man and said to Nathan, “As surely as the Lord lives, the man who did this must die! 6 He must pay for that lamb four times over, because he did such a thing and had no pity.”
7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are the man! This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: ‘I anointed you king over Israel, and I delivered you from the hand of Saul.
 
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