I
I am all for the man asking a woman out..making the 1st move. I am also just as ok if she asked me out,as what pers did tonight with the man she likes.
I have always been of the mindset of "friends first"...even well before I was saved. I never was the type of guy who felt "rejected" if a girl I like only wanted to be "friends". In my mind all that meant was,"I don't think of you in a romantic sense but I do in fact enjoy you,and who you are & still want to spend time with you." So for me,even if I liked said girl in a kiss kiss let's hold hands & do romantic things way,I could never in fact reach that level of intimacy truly with her unless we had that friendship connection prior.
I'm not sure if it was how my Mom raised me,or just how God designed me...but I have never been into the whole rush into a relationship thing,just for the sake of having one. I wasn't overly promiscuous when I certainly had the chances to be that way in my younger years. I looked the part of the typical guy...long hair...drummer...played in bands..went to parties...hung with many unsavory people along the way,kinda always said what was on my mind,so many assumed I was a "certain type" of person. Even as a Christian I kinda got labeled as being non-traditional. But in much of my early Christian yeas it was,He's too "edgy" to be a good Christian man,and yet not "worldy" enough to give in to how they view dating & relationships.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I think two people being friends (male & female) being best friends...getting to know one another is foundational for ME. I don't want to date or marry a woman who is not my friend first...or not still my best friend during our marriage. I'm not judging people who go about it differently than me one bit,so I hope I'm not coming across as such. Everyone needs to do what works best for them. God knows what our hearts desire & as long as we trust him...even in our awkwardness,shyness,or insecurities He's looking out for us,and rooting for us to meet the right person that just "gets us".
I have always been of the mindset of "friends first"...even well before I was saved. I never was the type of guy who felt "rejected" if a girl I like only wanted to be "friends". In my mind all that meant was,"I don't think of you in a romantic sense but I do in fact enjoy you,and who you are & still want to spend time with you." So for me,even if I liked said girl in a kiss kiss let's hold hands & do romantic things way,I could never in fact reach that level of intimacy truly with her unless we had that friendship connection prior.
I'm not sure if it was how my Mom raised me,or just how God designed me...but I have never been into the whole rush into a relationship thing,just for the sake of having one. I wasn't overly promiscuous when I certainly had the chances to be that way in my younger years. I looked the part of the typical guy...long hair...drummer...played in bands..went to parties...hung with many unsavory people along the way,kinda always said what was on my mind,so many assumed I was a "certain type" of person. Even as a Christian I kinda got labeled as being non-traditional. But in much of my early Christian yeas it was,He's too "edgy" to be a good Christian man,and yet not "worldy" enough to give in to how they view dating & relationships.
I guess what I'm getting at is that I think two people being friends (male & female) being best friends...getting to know one another is foundational for ME. I don't want to date or marry a woman who is not my friend first...or not still my best friend during our marriage. I'm not judging people who go about it differently than me one bit,so I hope I'm not coming across as such. Everyone needs to do what works best for them. God knows what our hearts desire & as long as we trust him...even in our awkwardness,shyness,or insecurities He's looking out for us,and rooting for us to meet the right person that just "gets us".