Streams of Consciousness & Thoughts~~~

[lil_christian]

I agree with you Lil, it's not always easy to say or hear the truth, but sometimes when you're on the outside looking in and someone asks, it's best to be honest.

Yup.

Iloveyougod did bring up a good point, though. Tactfulness and gentleness is an important character trait to demonstrate in our lives, especially when you're confronting someone, and I hate using that word because sometimes I feel like confronting can be related with cornering.

 

[lil_christian]

Yup.

Iloveyougod did bring up a good point, though. Tactfulness and gentleness are important character traits to demonstrate in our lives, especially when you're confronting someone, and I hate using that word because sometimes I feel like confronting can be related with cornering.

I have excellent grammar skills.

 

[IloveyouGod]

OK, so let's say Softness and Sweetness!

With all humility lil_christian, I get trapped in this!......someone could hurt me or make me angry and they could be wrong, but I get angry too and respond back. Just by doing this, I lost my case. I became equal to them when I should have had control over my anger even when the other person is at fault. I shouldn't be at fault too. But I end up getting angry......I guess it's something that I need to work on!! We are humans, when someone hurts or provokes us, our first resort will be anger, when we should practice some self control!......So I give those 2 verses to myself!

Yup.

Iloveyougod did bring up a good point, though. Tactfulness and gentleness is an important character trait to demonstrate in our lives, especially when you're confronting someone, and I hate using that word because sometimes I feel like confronting can be related with cornering.

 

[abbiejean]

Aaammm! I don't know about that

A soft answer turns away wrath. But a harsh word stirs up anger.

And sweetness of the lips increases learning.

What do you think?!

I agree wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly.

Can I go so far as to say I've read some posts on here and have seen two things, well several, but two that really stand out.

Tone. Sure, the words may be typed words on a screen but the type of words used and how they are strung together in a sentence can be sharp and I've seen strong, prideful and arrogant statements. After reading them, I've thought "wow!!!"

Blaming. Using the "you" statements or attacking the person's mannerisms or thought processes. That builds a wall and offends quicker than anything. Address what is being said, address the comment, not the person/personality.

I do understand the set up of the site with PMs and such. I do. I feel it is good but by the same token I also feel if there are offenses or deep hurts caused, go to the brother or sister and reason it out, privately, ask for clarification so you can understand and move on, share it in a private PM, working it out (prayerfully) instead of posting on a post whereby everybody and their gerbil gets involved which doesn't help the situation.

Ain't "chewing" anyone out with that. Just sharing my thoughts regarding the post.

And lil_christian, good to see you. Missed ya. Thought about you most the day yesterday.

 

[abbiejean]

OK, so let's say Softness and Sweetness!

With all humility lil_christian, I get trapped in this!......someone could hurt me or make me angry and they could be wrong, but I get angry too and respond back. Just by doing this, I lost my case. I became equal to them when I should have had control over my anger even when the other person is at fault. I shouldn't be at fault too. But I end up getting angry......I guess it's something that I need to work on!! We are humans, when someone hurts or provokes us, our first resort will be anger, when we should practice some self control!......So I give those 2 verses to myself!

Could that be stated otherwise as pick your battles and retain your dignity with grace?

 

[just_monicat]

If i were 2 and a half inches taller i could try out for Americas next top model, but more importantly i could reach the top of my closet.

well, it's slightly overrated. as a girl who can reach the top of her closet, i am just more aware of the fact that it needs to be dusted (yet again!).

 

[IloveyouGod]

Great thoughts abbiejean, thank you!

I'd say I'm one of those who needed to hear that as I felt hurt and judged, and although I did address what's been said, the comment itself and not the person. Yet, I feel guilty because I got angry, which I shouldn't.....my spiritual director taught me EVEN if the other person is at fault, do not get angry cuz the minute you do, you lost your case and you became equal to that person. My spiritual director is originally an Intellectual Property law lawyer. He's now a Priest So he would smile n' say, in the court of law when God is the judge, you became equal to your offender.

I should learn that vengeance is His, said the Lord!

I agree wholeheartedly. Wholeheartedly.

Can I go so far as to say I've read some posts on here and have seen two things, well several, but two that really stand out.

Tone. Sure, the words may be typed words on a screen but the type of words used and how they are strung together in a sentence can be sharp and I've seen strong, prideful and arrogant statements. After reading them, I've thought "wow!!!"

Blaming. Using the "you" statements or attacking the person's mannerisms or thought processes. That builds a wall and offends quicker than anything. Address what is being said, address the comment, not the person/personality.

I do understand the set up of the site with PMs and such. I do. I feel it is good but by the same token I also feel if there are offenses or deep hurts caused, go to the brother or sister and reason it out, privately, ask for clarification so you can understand and move on, share it in a private PM, working it out (prayerfully) instead of posting on a post whereby everybody and their gerbil gets involved which doesn't help the situation.

Ain't "chewing" anyone out with that. Just sharing my thoughts regarding the post.

And lil_christian, good to see you. Missed ya. Thought about you most the day yesterday.

 

[IloveyouGod]

Again abbiejean, one of your great thoughts

But I believe I shouldn't get angry. I shouldn't allow anyone to steal my peace and make me sin by being angry. I'd say address the issue with reasoning with the other person. But when the other person is not listening, they come back to you with the same thing again as if I've said nothing, which can be frustrating.....but I guess at that point best thing is not to comment back until that person is ready to listen and reason with me!

Could that be stated otherwise as pick your battles and retain your dignity with grace?

 

[IloveyouGod]

What's with me and burning the food!! Lord have mercy on your daughter ILYG
I put the food in the oven or on the stove n' go do whatever I have to do n' I don't remember it until I smell it burning!!

 

[Fenner]

We're supposed to get another snow storm tonight. Makes me wonder if school will be called off again. At least this time I'm not out of milk.

 

[wwjd_kilden]

An actual snow storm (like ice, heaps of snow, wind etc)? or what the brits call snowstorms (half an inch of snow)?
- Hope it won't be too bad for you , no fun when it leads to accidents and damage.

 

[IloveyouGod]

We had our share!! It's your turn now Americans

We're supposed to get another snow storm tonight. Makes me wonder if school will be called off again. At least this time I'm not out of milk.

 

[Fenner]

An actual snow storm (like ice, heaps of snow, wind etc)? or what the brits call snowstorms (half an inch of snow)?
- Hope it won't be too bad for you , no fun when it leads to accidents and damage.

Heavy wet snow, I heard something like 8 to inches. That's life around here in tue winter.

 

[Fenner]

We had our share!! It's your turn now Americans

We get our share here. Pennsylvania can get brutal in the winter.

 

[lil_christian]

Heavy wet snow, I heard something like 8 to inches. That's life around here in tue winter.

Yeah, the snowstorms we get here are legit.

 

[abbiejean]

Great thoughts abbiejean, thank you!

I'd say I'm one of those who needed to hear that as I felt hurt and judged, and although I did address what's been said, the comment itself and not the person. Yet, I feel guilty because I got angry, which I shouldn't.....my spiritual director taught me EVEN if the other person is at fault, do not get angry cuz the minute you do, you lost your case and you became equal to that person. My spiritual director is originally an Intellectual Property law lawyer. He's now a Priest So he would smile n' say, in the court of law when God is the judge, you became equal to your offender.

I should learn that vengeance is His, said the Lord!

Hey, I ain't perfect. I soooooooooooooooo have my moments.

Me and temper clash on occasion. I wasn't always like that. Truly. Not just saying that. But I was in a bad relationship and it ended and got some work to do on some leftover residual "stuff." I have asked God to help me with it and He is. I have a tendency to instant flair, then fizzle and then feel deep remorse and then I do go and make apologies, seek forgiveness and eat baked crow without bread. LOL

One thing I am being shown is why did I even get mad in the first place? What tripped the trigger? Sometimes I find out, sometimes I don't. Am also being shown the root or seeds of the anger (prior relationship) and having been shown that, have placed that in God's hands. Sometimes we get angry at person B when the root of the problem stems from feelings and hurts with person A. a.k.a. anger transfer.

 

[abbiejean]

Again abbiejean, one of your great thoughts

But I believe I shouldn't get angry. I shouldn't allow anyone to steal my peace and make me sin by being angry. I'd say address the issue with reasoning with the other person. But when the other person is not listening, they come back to you with the same thing again as if I've said nothing, which can be frustrating.....but I guess at that point best thing is not to comment back until that person is ready to listen and reason with me!

I agree. That's why I haven't posted on alot of the various other threads here. I am not into debating and verbally sparring. That's just not my makeup. It just ain't. I will listen. I will share. I will check back to clarify if need be and then move on. I like to converse and share. Not do a one up on another person.

 

[abbiejean]

What's with me and burning the food!! Lord have mercy on your daughter ILYG
I put the food in the oven or on the stove n' go do whatever I have to do n' I don't remember it until I smell it burning!!

I've left the iron on and walked away. I've left the oven on and left the apartment. LOL Poor Gracie, if it wasn't for her meowing and letting me know she's hungry, some days she wouldn't get her crunchies. LOL I know I'm old, but I get so focused on something and stay on it until it gets done and everything goes. So not good, but I do do it.

 

[abbiejean]

Heavy wet snow, I heard something like 8 to inches. That's life around here in tue winter.

Am getting tired of the snow. Sighs. My area (midwest USA) is due for more as well. Mechanic was just at the door and gave me my keys back. Had the backend struts on the car replaced. Need to get out and get a few grocery items.

 

[didymos]

It's spring in the Netherlands...