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The importance is different for everyone. Best thing to do is get to know the person, and if their other qualities are pleasing, their physical traits will become less and less important to you.
Physical traits are very likely to change while character traits will probably stay much the same. People get old. Out of shape. Beauty fades. You are going to spend a lifetime with this person, so make sure you are attracted to qualities that will last a lifetime.
Physical traits are very likely to change while character traits will probably stay much the same. People get old. Out of shape. Beauty fades. You are going to spend a lifetime with this person, so make sure you are attracted to qualities that will last a lifetime.
It's part of our nature to seek out certain traits or characteristics. Myself, I've always found myself drawn more to darker-haired women than blondes. Height's been a take-it-or-leave-it thing for me. Hasn't mattered one way or another. Weight's another story. I've always avoided the wafer-thin "model" types, those skinny, salad-eatin' girls. I hate putting it in these terms, but I've always preferred someone with "meat on her bones." I've also always preferred a more conservatively-dressed girl. I've never needed to see alot of flesh hanging out. Very much like the exact opposited, actually.
A
I am currently very interested in this. Have browsed that subject here for a while without posting anything....(new here !!!)
(and sorry for the bad english beforehand ^^)
What you will notice very soon is a strong tendency towards: physical aspects are not soooo important, character is very important..... i think that is very very wrong... or at least kinda naive.(sry if i sound rude, i am very direct ^^)
First of all:
They make a huge difference between body/looks and character/personality.
If you observe people carefully you will notice that those two aspects correlate very much.
Sure, some of your physical traits are permanent, genetic, independent.
Your height, cheekbones, bodyhair, ....maybe voice, etc.
But a lot of other aspects are influenced tremendously by your character, habits, attention, good/bad experiences and many other things.
Secondly:
If there is something extreme with the looks: very skinny, obese, obscene clothing etc. there is usually a reason for that.
And that reason is more often than not a bad character-trait, a trauma and so on.
That does not mean that we cannot be crazy sometimes or do stupid things for fun or try out strange new styles ^^
You have to be attracted to the whole person. Not just the personality or the body or the fact that said person is seemingly a nice godly guy/girl.
I also have to correct the assumtion that beauty only fades and charater grows.
This growing character is then supposed to make shure the relationship becomes better, tighter, happier and outlasting.
What is left out, is that marriage(i assume that this is the goal) is "introduced" by god, but it is also a very worldly thing(in a positive way ^^).
Body/looks/bad habits are often one of the key points in a crisis and a main factor for a divorce.
AND THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN!
Especially in the first years, physical attraction IS KEY. Not everything, but very very important!!!
It helps to bind you together. It is comforting, pleasing, helps to stay loyal.
I am a guy so for me that is mostly the looks of a person(yes body, not inner beauty, body),
for women that could be the ..... higiene? for example?
no matter how much you like the personality, if your significant other does not take care of himself as
you like it. As is required to please you, then this is wrong of him and weakens the relationship.
And that also means that this is a problem of his character. So not just physical....
I belive many of the writers here mean well when they say that personality is so much more important.
(And if someone chooses only by looks than... well he/she probably is and idiot......nothing you can do.....)
But this is actually not ony christian wisdom. its what the whole world is saying.... look at every forum, chatroom, youtube channel. Tons of people saying how the body is not as important, "mind over matter" and so on.
But still everyone cheats, divorces, has affairs. And sadly, its the same in the christian community(at least in the USA/EU).
Porn, Photoshop and Video-Games may have twisted our sense of beauty into something unrealistic, ungodly which needs correction.
But beauty is important and NOT superficial
(and sorry for the bad english beforehand ^^)
What you will notice very soon is a strong tendency towards: physical aspects are not soooo important, character is very important..... i think that is very very wrong... or at least kinda naive.(sry if i sound rude, i am very direct ^^)
First of all:
They make a huge difference between body/looks and character/personality.
If you observe people carefully you will notice that those two aspects correlate very much.
Sure, some of your physical traits are permanent, genetic, independent.
Your height, cheekbones, bodyhair, ....maybe voice, etc.
But a lot of other aspects are influenced tremendously by your character, habits, attention, good/bad experiences and many other things.
Secondly:
If there is something extreme with the looks: very skinny, obese, obscene clothing etc. there is usually a reason for that.
And that reason is more often than not a bad character-trait, a trauma and so on.
That does not mean that we cannot be crazy sometimes or do stupid things for fun or try out strange new styles ^^
You have to be attracted to the whole person. Not just the personality or the body or the fact that said person is seemingly a nice godly guy/girl.
I also have to correct the assumtion that beauty only fades and charater grows.
This growing character is then supposed to make shure the relationship becomes better, tighter, happier and outlasting.
What is left out, is that marriage(i assume that this is the goal) is "introduced" by god, but it is also a very worldly thing(in a positive way ^^).
Body/looks/bad habits are often one of the key points in a crisis and a main factor for a divorce.
AND THIS GOES FOR MEN AND WOMEN!
Especially in the first years, physical attraction IS KEY. Not everything, but very very important!!!
It helps to bind you together. It is comforting, pleasing, helps to stay loyal.
I am a guy so for me that is mostly the looks of a person(yes body, not inner beauty, body),
for women that could be the ..... higiene? for example?
no matter how much you like the personality, if your significant other does not take care of himself as
you like it. As is required to please you, then this is wrong of him and weakens the relationship.
And that also means that this is a problem of his character. So not just physical....
I belive many of the writers here mean well when they say that personality is so much more important.
(And if someone chooses only by looks than... well he/she probably is and idiot......nothing you can do.....)
But this is actually not ony christian wisdom. its what the whole world is saying.... look at every forum, chatroom, youtube channel. Tons of people saying how the body is not as important, "mind over matter" and so on.
But still everyone cheats, divorces, has affairs. And sadly, its the same in the christian community(at least in the USA/EU).
Porn, Photoshop and Video-Games may have twisted our sense of beauty into something unrealistic, ungodly which needs correction.
But beauty is important and NOT superficial
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Beauty (attraction) is important. But it's true that when you meet someone who isn't necessarily "stunning", and they have a beautiful character, you find yourself more attracted to them physically as well.
Question for AcidBurn: Do you feel that people are cheating, divorcing or having affairs because of physical beauty?
(Also, welcome to CC Acidburn! Thanks for sharing this food for thought.
)
Question for AcidBurn: Do you feel that people are cheating, divorcing or having affairs because of physical beauty?
(Also, welcome to CC Acidburn! Thanks for sharing this food for thought.
)
Z
Physical traits are VERY important, and it's not shallow to have preferences, but muscles deflate, boobs sag, and farts happen. All that doesn't matter if the other person accepts you for who you are while encouraging/challenging you to reach your goals. Think of it like this: you meet an ugly troll. A really ugly troll. But he's brilliant, funny, kind, and oh so loving. He does EVERYTHING right to attract you, pursue you, and protect you. Nevertheless, looking at him makes you feel queasy. That's NOT gonna work. Why? Because the TROLL deserves BETTER! You can't love him like he loves you - so set him free. Mutual attraction is paramount. Period.
A
Beauty (attraction) is important. But it's true that when you meet someone who isn't necessarily "stunning", and they have a beautiful character, you find yourself more attracted to them physically as well.
Question for AcidBurn: Do you feel that people are cheating, divorcing or having affairs because of physical beauty?
(Also, welcome to CC Acidburn! Thanks for sharing this food for thought. )
Question for AcidBurn: Do you feel that people are cheating, divorcing or having affairs because of physical beauty?
(Also, welcome to CC Acidburn! Thanks for sharing this food for thought.
)
What i am talking about is that you should not make it unnecessary difficult for each other to be close.
Just because someone is loyal and the marriage holds doesn't mean it's a good one......
I
Looks have never once been a deciding factor in the woman I wanted to be with. Of course there are certain thing's about a womans appearence that I find more or less beautiful,things I am "attracted" to physically or whatever,but if her spirituality, character,personality,mind & humor are not of interest to me her physical features are meaningless to me.
I suppose some people might think that when I say that it's a bunch of nonsense,or because I'm not some gorgeous super-stud muffin that I say that because I have to take what I can get.
The fact is no matter how "gorgeous" someone is,if their inside "beauty" or "attractiveness" doesn't match the outside...the outside quickly becomes non-point & tiresome.
If a woman is beautiful and amazing on the inside,who can I not find her outside just as stunning???
For me,it's impossible! But I'm a weirdo I guess.
I suppose some people might think that when I say that it's a bunch of nonsense,or because I'm not some gorgeous super-stud muffin that I say that because I have to take what I can get.
The fact is no matter how "gorgeous" someone is,if their inside "beauty" or "attractiveness" doesn't match the outside...the outside quickly becomes non-point & tiresome.
If a woman is beautiful and amazing on the inside,who can I not find her outside just as stunning???
For me,it's impossible! But I'm a weirdo I guess.
for me, physical attraction is a bi-modal evaluation. either it's a deal breaker or not.
one thing i've also learned is that someone who i find (initially) only mildly physically attractive can becomes much more so (like the hottest guy in the room) when he's of good character, faith, funny and intelligent to name a few.
and the opposite is very true, as well.
i can only speculate as to why you're asking this question. but since you're a girl, i would encourage you to be the best version of yourself and avoid comparing yourself to anyone else.
i believe being attractive also has a lot to do with the inner confidence that comes from knowing who and being who you are in the eyes of God.
one thing i've also learned is that someone who i find (initially) only mildly physically attractive can becomes much more so (like the hottest guy in the room) when he's of good character, faith, funny and intelligent to name a few.
and the opposite is very true, as well.
i can only speculate as to why you're asking this question. but since you're a girl, i would encourage you to be the best version of yourself and avoid comparing yourself to anyone else.
i believe being attractive also has a lot to do with the inner confidence that comes from knowing who and being who you are in the eyes of God.
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S
You are all talking about physical attraction at first and then falling inlove with the character of the person. How about becoming very attracted with the person because he/she has a really very stunning look and when you get to know him/her you will love his/her character as well, but you will discover that he/she is not that perfect because you got a chance to see him/her as he is and find out that he has a dark underarms, or maybe he has a denture, or bald. How are you going to react?
N
Hmm, this is a bit different. Assuming (for myself here, as I can't speak for others) I had fallen for someone, and by some miracle they felt the same way and we were together, and loved each other and I found I don't know, she had dentures or was bald for some reason and wore a wig (maybe she had a bad reaction to chemotherapy in her past) I don't think it would change how I felt at all. It would be a surprise, but if I was in love with her, it would be easy to adjust to (beauty would be far more the physical traits if this happened).
Anyway, that would be me
Anyway, that would be me
well put. you can almost see the generational changes.
one of the things i've been curious (and mostly horrified) about is just how our kids are being taught about beauty in it's most unrealistic ways.
here's one of the best examples i can think of.
when i go out with a younger guy (i don't get asked out as much by guys my own age. usually it's younger ones) they always ask me if i have tattoos and some even act mildly surprised that i don't have one.
older guys (my age) seem to be relieved when i tell them i don't have one.
oh, and i'm not down on tattoos for anyone who thinks they should have one. i'm just making a point.
one of the things i've been curious (and mostly horrified) about is just how our kids are being taught about beauty in it's most unrealistic ways.
here's one of the best examples i can think of.
when i go out with a younger guy (i don't get asked out as much by guys my own age. usually it's younger ones) they always ask me if i have tattoos and some even act mildly surprised that i don't have one.
older guys (my age) seem to be relieved when i tell them i don't have one.
oh, and i'm not down on tattoos for anyone who thinks they should have one. i'm just making a point.
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