courtship

abbiejean · Feb 10, 2014

Prov 31:30
"Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman [man] that feareth the LORD, she [he] shall be praised."

Let a man enter my life that (1) loves God through the thick and thin (2) stumbles, is humble and gets back up and keeps on truckin' (3) is generous with his love, his time and his money (4) sees me as a woman of God and (4) just wants what God wants.........

We'll talk, we'll pray about it, we'll seek the will of the Lord and see where the Lord takes the two of us.

Anything and everything else...is fluff.

Bless those of you (male and female) that can see that the outer isn't what makes an individual an individual. Be that person be thin, fat, short, tall, bald, lots of hair, silver in hair, teeth no teeth, sitting in a wheelchair or not, stutters or speaks and sings like a canary, can move crowds or is able to patiently listen saying nothing, has money or is poor...

IloveyouGod · Feb 10, 2014

*Off the topic - In general*

Leviticus 28 says You shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor tattoo any marks on you: I am the Lord.

just_monicat said:

just_monicat · Feb 10, 2014

shei said:

what you're broaching is called "nit-picking". i think we all have the ability to do that, and we all have the quirks and flaws that one could focus on if they were of the mind to do so.

but what keeps me from focusing too tightly down that path is the knowledge that i assume there are qualities about me that i'm sure he'll find less than attractive if he's looking for them.

even qualities that are attractive to one are less so for another.

oh, and by the way, i've never fallen in love with someone just because of their "stunning looks". what you're describing by my assessment is more like "falling in lust".

if they were attractive enough to catch my eye, i'd want to know more about them. get to know them better. see who they are after the initial look.

either they improve or become less attractive through scrutiny of the whole person.

guys i've been taken with are always more attractive to me long after that first look (and after getting to know them), not when i first meet them.

IloveyouGod · Feb 10, 2014

What does that mean saying "when you get to know him/her you will love his/her character" And then back saying "but you will discover that he/she is not that perfect because you got a chance to see him/her as he is" I thought I've already known the person and decided I love their character!!

This should not be downgraded at all.

I think I get what you're saying here, that there are certain specific materialistic things that could be an aversion to us, that even liking the personality of an individual won't help giving the blind eye to these materialistic things. Which is fine. You have the right to feel the way you wanna feel. I myself have these few materialistic things that could be an aversion to me. BUT, I'd say that still, being spiritual and his personality Might make me work something out. Or in another words, if we are both on the same spiritual level and we both like each other, then we can work something out together that will make everyone happy at the end.

Being spiritual is just an example that I used cuz it's important for me. But you could build on any other example you want.

shei said:

AcidBurn · Feb 10, 2014

shei said:

Back to the topic. Here are the three scenarios i can think of:

1. "Guy likes you and tells you/asks you out. You think he is "OK" but there is a physical trait you don't like."

If this is something he can change without much effort, talk to him about it.
(most young people are not mature enough to calmly talk about this though......)

If it is something more permanent, think about why you don't like it. There may be a good reason.
Maybe you are the problem. You have to know yourself really well to find that out.

If you have known the person for some time and this does not change:
say no! there is not one destined person for you but many good or bad choices ^^
maybe you are just not ready, maybe he isn't....

2. "You like a guy. He hangs out with you but doesn't seem to get closer even though you have a great time together."

Well.... thats the classic....

It may be that he is naive and cannot even imagine that a nice girl may be in love with him..... i also belonged to that category.... in this case, be a bit more offensive. (you may be shot down though... no guarantees...)

And then there is the dreaded: He does not find me attractive scenario!!!

Honestly... this is hard to overcome, if not impossible.
I do not know how its from a girls perspective, but if a guy is not attracted to the current you, even if you like each other, i don't think this will change. Maybe he likes someone else, maybe he is a porn-head with no realistic standart, maybe you are too chubby, skinny or whatever to him.
(please don't comment on this guys, i am not saying its ok, i am saying it is like this and nothing you write here will change that guy or help shei....)
If you are both mature enough, talk about it. Its considered a taboo, i know. But if he hangs around you for some time you have the right of some clarity. Like i said before, this may be hard. Especially for a girl in that position and it might
hurt a lot. But that is your choise....

3. "Guys in general do not approach you."

There may be everything allright with your body but there is something......... "wrong", with your personality.
I know a few girls who are very good looking(not so much for me anymore..), are christians, but are so..... unnerving!!!!!
And i know this is the reason guys don't approach them. (hope this isn't you.... consult a dear, honest, older friend about that)

If you are an extreme case. Obese, anorexic..... well... change that: BY finding out what the root issue is for that.
This is hard, but its not like a relationship will fix this issu. It may even become stronger....
Also, quite girls(the wallflower party ^^) are normal looking and the root issu here is confidence....
i don't know how to teach girls confidence. I am currently mentoring a guy and its easy. Lift some weight. Let him feel manly.
Over time he will understand that he doesn't need muscles to feel good and confident.

Maybe a more daring haircut.... something to catch visual attention. (NOT Tits And Ass !!!!!)

Well.... i hope your case is not soooo exotic that nothing of the above has any relevance at all

just_monicat · Feb 10, 2014

IloveyouGod said:

since you brought it up...

i would contend that close evaluation of this specific passage would reveal that it's contextual application speaks more about the instruction regarding canaanite mourning practices (unholy sacrifice) and that reasonable practices of exegesis would support the notion that its limitations of piercing and tattooing are speaking to this purpose alone.

i believe that tattoos and piercings, for the most part, are up to the individual to decide for themselves. : )

biscuit · Feb 10, 2014

Beauty Is Only Skin Deep"

So in love, sad as could be
'Cause a pretty face got the best of me.
Suddenly, you came into my life
And gave it meaning and pure delight.
Now, good looks, I've learned to do without.
'Cause now I know it's love that really counts.

'Cause I know that...
(Beauty's only skin deep, yeah, yeah, yeah.)
I know that...
Beauty's only skin deep, yes indeed.

Now you speak your words warm and sincere.
And let's me know that your love is near.
A pretty face you may not possess
But what I like about you is your tenderness.
A pretty face maybe some guys taste
But I'll take lovin' in it's place.

'Cause I know that...
(Beauty's only skin deep, yeah, yeah, yeah.)
And you know that...
Beauty's only skin deep, oh baby, oh yeah.
(Oh yeah, Oh yeah)

(Beauty's only skin deep, yeah, yeah, yeah.)
Ooo
(Beauty's only skin deep, oh yeah.)
Yes it is.

My friends ask, what do I see in you
But it goes deeper than the eye can view.
You have a pleasin' personality
And that's an ever lovin' rare quality.
Now show me a girl, a girl that's fine
And I'll choose the one with true lovin' every time.

I know that...
(Beauty's only skin deep, yeah, yeah, yeah)
And I believe that...
Beau- know that beauty's only skin deep.

So if you're lookin' for a lover. (Oh yeah)
Don't judge a book by it's cover. (Oh yeah)
She may be fine on the outside (Oh yeah)
But so untrue on the inside. (Oh yeah)
Ooo

biscuit · Feb 10, 2014

[h=1]Homely Girl Lyrics[/h]The Chi-Lites It must have broke your poor little heart
When the boys used to say,
You looked better in the dark.
Oooh but now they'd give all they learnt in school
To be somewhere in the dark with you
(Oh yes they would)

You know the teacher would ask the questions
And you, would always raise your hand
Oooh but somehow you never got your turn
And my eyes would fill with water, inside I'd burn
(Oh yes I did)

Homely girl, She was so lonely
You're a beautiful woman oh yes lonely girl
Homely girl you used to be lonely
You're a beautiful woman oh yeah

There was a boy who used to sit beside you
Who'd like to hold that place his whole life through
Oooh you were beautiful to me
You had a heart no one could ever see, oh yes you did

I was the only one who offered
To carry your books
Took all the stares and laughter
With the dirty looks
But I saw then what they see now
They all want to ask you for a date
They don't know how, they don't know how

Homely girl, She was so lonely
You're a beautiful woman oh yes lonely girl
Homely girl you used to be lonely
You're a beautiful woman oh yeah

Oooh first they want a chance to hold you
Then they want a chance to try to control you
Oh no, don't you know I got to say it

The Chi-Lites

soulsties · Feb 10, 2014

You'd think the christian position would be to purposefully date the person you find the most unattractive physically.

biscuit · Feb 10, 2014

soulsties said:

SMH !!! It's L-O-V-E that makes the world go around ... and it starts with the H-E-A-R-T.

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