Curiosity Killed the Cat

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lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#1
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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#1
Okay, so, I posted this in the Streams thread, but I'm deciding to post this in a separate thread after someone suggested I do so. :)

Here it is:

I'm going to ask kind of a different guy/girl question - it may vary from guy to guy, but I'm curious.

Do guys realize simply by looking at a woman that she respects herself? Like, in the way she presents herself. For example, when you walk into a room, she has good posture, but it's not forced, she's not ramrod straight. It's very natural. So it's basically how she carries herself, and not just modesty/immodesty. Not wanting to go into that issue. If so, do you see it right off the bat? Or would you not notice until approaching/talking to her, assuming that you do approach her and engage in conversation with her.

This question purely out of curiosity and I'm asking simply because I was watching a romance movie (last non-Christian romance movie I'll ever watch. Yuck. Ick. Blech!!) and a girl was complaining about how guys treated her once before and why she looked at them so cheaply. As I said. Last time I'll ever watch that kinda movie. As in...never ever ever. Ever. I mean, there were no graphic scenes. But I still wasn't a fan. It was kinda like, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But you're really hot. JUST KISS ME ALREADY!!"
Anyways, I wondered if it was because she didn't respect herself or she just represented herself in a way that attracted guys with those tendencies. Not saying she made the guy do it. It was purely up to the guy on whether he harassed her or not. No matter how someone dresses and carries themselves. But...if they don't carry themselves in a confident manner, is it going to attract the wrong type of guy, because they notice it, too?

Just to be clear - This is not about being a victim of harassment and who made who do what. Neither is it about modesty/immodesty. So please don't make it into that kind of thing. Thank you. :)
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#2
#2
Oh, I was gonna answer from a female perspective towards men, but I guess you wanna know the opposite. So I'll keep quiet. :D
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#3
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
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#3
IloveyouGod said:
Oh, I was gonna answer from a female perspective towards men, but I guess you wanna know the opposite. So I'll keep quiet. :D
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Hey, no worries!!

If you wanna answer feel free. This isn't a guys-only thread :) I definitely do want to hear the guys' opinions though.
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#4
#4
For me I can usually tell if a woman respects herself by talking to her. The way she may present herself physically doesn't have as much to do with it,sometimes it can take on an outward manifestation as well,but mostly just from conversation it is usually abundantly clear. Again...for me,this is usually how I can tell,or at least gain an idea from.
 
Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
#5
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#5
lil_christian said:
Okay, so, I posted this in the Streams thread, but I'm deciding to post this in a separate thread after someone suggested I do so. :)

Here it is:

I'm going to ask kind of a different guy/girl question - it may vary from guy to guy, but I'm curious.

Do guys realize simply by looking at a woman that she respects herself? Like, in the way she presents herself. For example, when you walk into a room, she has good posture, but it's not forced, she's not ramrod straight. It's very natural. So it's basically how she carries herself, and not just modesty/immodesty. Not wanting to go into that issue. If so, do you see it right off the bat? Or would you not notice until approaching/talking to her, assuming that you do approach her and engage in conversation with her.

This question purely out of curiosity and I'm asking simply because I was watching a romance movie (last non-Christian romance movie I'll ever watch. Yuck. Ick. Blech!!) and a girl was complaining about how guys treated her once before and why she looked at them so cheaply. As I said. Last time I'll ever watch that kinda movie. As in...never ever ever. Ever. I mean, there were no graphic scenes. But I still wasn't a fan. It was kinda like, "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But you're really hot. JUST KISS ME ALREADY!!"
Anyways, I wondered if it was because she didn't respect herself or she just represented herself in a way that attracted guys with those tendencies. Not saying she made the guy do it. It was purely up to the guy on whether he harassed her or not. No matter how someone dresses and carries themselves. But...if they don't carry themselves in a confident manner, is it going to attract the wrong type of guy, because they notice it, too?

Just to be clear - This is not about being a victim of harassment and who made who do what. Neither is it about modesty/immodesty. So please don't make it into that kind of thing. Thank you. :)
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I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#6
#6
I should make a correction in my post..I said that I can tell by talking to her...actually,it's more about listening to her.
*sorry..that was driving me nuts...had to make that clear* :)
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#7
#7
From MY perspective (because ever woman is different) I'd say if he's a true gentleman who is genuinely decent with high moral class, I'll be able to realize right away that he respects himself, before even talking to him. His posture will show me if he's forced, weak or confident. His smile n' his eyes will show me his kindness n' humility if they are there. The way he talks, laugh, body language would show me if he's trying to fit in or he's the real deal. But that would be a preliminary/brief evaluation of course.
 
Misty77

Misty77

Senior Member
#8
Aug 30, 2013
1,746
45
0
#8
iTOREtheSKY said:
I should make a correction in my post..I said that I can tell by talking to her...actually,it's more about listening to her.
*sorry..that was driving me nuts...had to make that clear* :)
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A man who listens!! Can you teach some classes on that? I'm pretty sure it's a lost art! (I'm kidding, y'all. Don't get yer boxers in a bunch.)
 
I

iTOREtheSKY

Guest
#9
#9
Misty77 said:
A man who listens!! Can you teach some classes on that? I'm pretty sure it's a lost art! (I'm kidding, y'all. Don't get yer boxers in a bunch.)
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lol...well I knew you were teasing.:p

In all honesty,I'd rather listen to a woman's ideas & thoughts...what's on her heart and mind,than always hearing myself talk & ramble on. You can always learn more by listening to other's...or worse case scenario,separate the honesty from the nonsense.
 
J

just_monicat

Senior Member
#10
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#10
iTOREtheSKY said:
lol...well I knew you were teasing.:p

In all honesty,I'd rather listen to a woman's ideas & thoughts...what's on her heart and mind,than always hearing myself talk & ramble on. You can always learn more by listening to other's...or worse case scenario,separate the honesty from the nonsense.
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you're a rare gem, jim. i hope you're having a better day. : )
 
I

IloveyouGod

Guest
#11
#11
That's cute n' funny. :)
Someone is having a better day today? :rolleyes: :eek:


iTOREtheSKY said:
lol...well I knew you were teasing.:p

In all honesty,I'd rather listen to a woman's ideas & thoughts...what's on her heart and mind,than always hearing myself talk & ramble on. You can always learn more by listening to other's...or worse case scenario,separate the honesty from the nonsense.
Click to expand...
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#13
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
73
48
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#13
iTOREtheSKY said:
For me I can usually tell if a woman respects herself by talking to her. The way she may present herself physically doesn't have as much to do with it,sometimes it can take on an outward manifestation as well,but mostly just from conversation it is usually abundantly clear. Again...for me,this is usually how I can tell,or at least gain an idea from.
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Okay. :) Great answer!

I just remembered another example that kind of made me think up the question. A friend of mine told me once that he knew a girl who had some kind of skin issue (I forget what skin issue it was even.) and he said that he thought she was beautiful simply because she was confident in herself and everyone could tell she was confident in herself whether they talked to her or not.
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#14
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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#14
Okay, summarized version since I rambled.

Basically can you tell if a woman respects herself simply by looking at her? So basically it's about a person's body language. Is she slouched and have a frown on her face? Or does she have a naturally good posture. Are these even indications whether someone respects themselves or not? If they are, can they attract the wrong kind of guy?







I'm starting to regret ever starting this thread...
 
Searching4Truth

Searching4Truth

Senior Member
#15
Jul 25, 2012
1,904
24
0
#15
lil_christian said:
Okay, summarized version since I rambled.

Basically can you tell if a woman respects herself simply by looking at her? So basically it's about a person's body language. Is she slouched and have a frown on her face? Or does she have a naturally good posture. Are these even indications whether someone respects themselves or not? If they are, can they attract the wrong kind of guy?
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Men aren't mind readers. But, confidence and maturity can be seen and sensed from the posture and or poise of others. And from what little I can understand from women, it isn't always from posture or stance, but rather how she is internally- emotions, mental state, and whatnot.

It ultimately depends on what said guy is after. The wrong type of man can, and will go in for the kill.

Hope that helps...?
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#16
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#16
I think you can sort of tell apprehension or shyness in a person's body language. If a person keeps to themselves they might be shy or just to not want to be part of the group. If someone slouches they might just have a back problem. I try hard not to slouch, but I know since childhood I've had problems with my back.

In my weird mind I can't really tell what someone is like just by looking at them. I've looked at people and unfortunately thought, oh they look kind of mean, shame on me, some of those people ended up being very nice.

I think the respect part also should come with behavior, if someone has some behavior that isn't good, like drinking a lot or sleeping around, they probably don't respect themselves very much. But that is something that can change

I'm babbling on like a brook, so I'm going to stop. :)
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#17
Oct 24, 2012
16,176
373
83
#17
lil_christian said:
Okay. :) Great answer!

I just remembered another example that kind of made me think up the question. A friend of mine told me once that he knew a girl who had some kind of skin issue (I forget what skin issue it was even.) and he said that he thought she was beautiful simply because she was confident in herself and everyone could tell she was confident in herself whether they talked to her or not.
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In God's sight we are special enough to have sent his Son for us and confidence truly ensues being one with God through Christ the Son. So it matters not what others think of you, me or anyone else, for God has already past tense accepted you in God the beloved Christ.
Eph. 1:6 says so walk as he his in love with you and others will noticew God through you and believe God is real through you being who you are in God period.
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#18
Oct 24, 2012
16,176
373
83
#18
Fenner said:
I think you can sort of tell apprehension or shyness in a person's body language. If a person keeps to themselves they might be shy or just to not want to be part of the group. If someone slouches they might just have a back problem. I try hard not to slouch, but I know since childhood I've had problems with my back.

In my weird mind I can't really tell what someone is like just by looking at them. I've looked at people and unfortunately thought, oh they look kind of mean, shame on me, some of those people ended up being very nice.

I think the respect part also should come with behavior, if someone has some behavior that isn't good, like drinking a lot or sleeping around, they probably don't respect themselves very much. But that is something that can change

I'm babbling on like a brook, so I'm going to stop. :)
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Some of God's sheep have by bad experiences put on wolves clothing to be protected. There are wolves in sheep's clothing and there are sheep hiding in wolves clothing Sister. and that is where being wise as a serpent comes in and harmless as a dove is put in place at the same time, we are just to be aware and not condemn, rather love God's way that heaps coals of fire on their head and thus the true chance for change is enhanced by God's unfathomable love.
I remember when this hit me, and that is what changed my thinking process and started to ask God to see from God's vantage point, not this world's
 
homwardbound

homwardbound

Senior Member
#19
Oct 24, 2012
16,176
373
83
#19
lil_christian said:
Okay, summarized version since I rambled.

Basically can you tell if a woman respects herself simply by looking at her? So basically it's about a person's body language. Is she slouched and have a frown on her face? Or does she have a naturally good posture. Are these even indications whether someone respects themselves or not? If they are, can they attract the wrong kind of guy?







I'm starting to regret ever starting this thread...
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The wrong type of guy preys, not prays on the weak, and if one is perceived as weak and lonely, the wrong guy many times pounces like Ted Bundy did and was so eloquent.
I do not say this to put you or anyone in fear, yet what does your gut say, listen it is possibly God saying be aware, and not ignorant, and in need for company too much tha tone overlooks the signs of:
 
lil_christian

lil_christian

Senior Member
#20
Mar 14, 2010
7,489
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#20
These are all really good answers with points and perspectives that I didn't even think of.
 
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