Do you visit graves?

[phil112]

I rarely ever visit someones grave. Most people don't have a problem with that, but from time to time, I find someone that thinks it is horrible that I don't. My closest loved ones that have died are an older sister and my dad. I thin about them frequently, but just never saw any benefit in going to the grave and sitting there for a bit.
Some folks will say it is out of respect for them. I prefer to honor my dad's memory by trying to serve God. That is what he wanted. Once someone is dead they have no way of knowing you did, or didn't, visit their grave.

I am not squeamish about it, and it doesn't depress me. Just don't see any reason for it. Just kind of wondering how some of you feel about it.

 

[TheAristocat]

I think we all visit graves whether they're just in our minds or in real life. A grave is just a memorial to someone. It honors their life and memory. But we know that it's ultimately unnecessary as Christians as we will see them again. I think a lot of traditions in modern western culture aren't very christian. I don't think we should spend our whole lives attached to this Earth, especially a certain location on it. I think that frame of mind is very narrow-minded and counterproductive. In my mind the person isn't in the grave any more. So there's no reason to go there. I think a memory serves the same purpose, and it doesn't affect us psychologically in such a way so as to keep our hearts and minds tied up in this Earth.

 

[TheAristocat]

If we're to honor them we should make a distinction between us and the world and celebrate them instead of mourn them. Sure, we miss them just as we would a friend leaving us for a long time. But we know they're okay and better off than we are. Because the struggle has already ended for them. But Satan is always ready to keep at us who have the decision ahead to make.

 

[dcontroversal]

I rarely ever visit someones grave. Most people don't have a problem with that, but from time to time, I find someone that thinks it is horrible that I don't. My closest loved ones that have died are an older sister and my dad. I thin about them frequently, but just never saw any benefit in going to the grave and sitting there for a bit.
Some folks will say it is out of respect for them. I prefer to honor my dad's memory by trying to serve God. That is what he wanted. Once someone is dead they have no way of knowing you did, or didn't, visit their grave.

I am not squeamish about it, and it doesn't depress me. Just don't see any reason for it. Just kind of wondering how some of you feel about it.

Hey Phil, my dad was killed when I was about three and have only been once in 44 years....he was saved my mom states, so he isn't there anyway.

 

[ww_21]

​No. I've lost too many, too many painful memories.

 

[secularhermit]

I rarely have visited dead ones.

I think I have a problem: No way to know I´d be taken to ONE of those.

 

[just_monicat]

this may sound slightly morbid, but the graves i enjoy visiting are at those really old, old cemeteries (like those attached to a church).

i find it sort of fascinating - ages, names and the what i can deduce based upon the obvious clues.

i don't visit graves in memory to anyone i've lost, though. it seems... weird to me.

 

[crossnote]

I suppose this begs the question of 'then why not cremate'?
as well as

Jude 1:9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.

 

[p_rehbein]

Having just laid my Mother to rest on Valentine's Day, I can say that I will visit her grave, and attend to it. I will do this out of love for her.

I understand those who don't want to visit the grave sites of loved ones, that's ok too.

As for being there or not........yes and no...........while her eternal spirit may not be present in the grave, her earthly body is. Anyway, for me, it will be a way to remember and mourn and such..........I suppose it's not for everyone, so that's ok, but for those who do............that's ok too. Nothing unbiblical about it either way in my opinion.

 

[posthuman]

I suppose this begs the question of 'then why not cremate'?
as well as

Jude 1:9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.

if the Lord made me out of dust once, am sure He can do it again.

 

[posthuman]

If we're to honor them we should make a distinction between us and the world and celebrate them instead of mourn them. Sure, we miss them just as we would a friend leaving us for a long time. But we know they're okay and better off than we are. Because the struggle has already ended for them. But Satan is always ready to keep at us who have the decision ahead to make.

yes!

The righteous perish,
and no one takes it to heart;
the devout are taken away,
and no one understands
that the righteous are taken away
to be spared from evil.

Those who walk uprightly
enter into peace;
they find rest as they lie in death.
(Isaiah 57:1-2)

 

[just_monicat]

I suppose this begs the question of 'then why not cremate'?
as well as

Jude 1:9 Yet Michael the archangel, when contending with the devil he disputed about the body of Moses, durst not bring against him a railing accusation, but said, The Lord rebuke thee.

as weird as it sounds, i don't care. administratively, cremation seems like a decent choice.

maybe i'd feel very differently if my circumstances were different, but i don't think so. i have lost amazing people in my life, and they remain close to me through my memories and a few keepsakes. but that's me.

 

[ServantStrike]

this may sound slightly morbid, but the graves i enjoy visiting are at those really old, old cemeteries (like those attached to a church).

i find it sort of fascinating - ages, names and the what i can deduce based upon the obvious clues.

i don't visit graves in memory to anyone i've lost, though. it seems... weird to me.

Yeah,

And reading old birth records too - it's actually quite fascinating. Back before electronic records, births and deaths were literally the only records that someone even existed. When photography was new, it was common for an entire family to pose for a family portrait whenever someone died - with the deceased present in the portrait. The photographic process was expensive and this was a way that people remembered their loved ones after they passed.



But as for visiting a loved one, they aren't really there, their rotting corpse is. I'd rather remember them as they were when they were alive. That gravestone is there as a comfort for someone else - not me. I know where most of the loved ones I've known went, and we'll meet again. The ones who weren't saved, my visiting that stone isn't going to change anything. If someone else needs to go visit that gravestone and cry, shaking their fist towards the sky at a God they refuse to acknowledge exists because He took this person from them, well then I guess that's the only comfort they're going to get out of it. For me it's an expensive process that I'm going to opt out of.

if the Lord made me out of dust once, am sure He can do it again.

Exactly

Set me on fire and scatter my ashes to the wind in the most ridiculously over the top awesome way imaginable, but don't spend a lot of money on it.

Sadly, some of the more over the top ways are probably illegal. You need a permit to spread ashes to the wind on most beaches - a permit!


I don't expect to have to make those arrangements any time soon though.

 

[just_monicat]

Yeah,

Exactly

Set me on fire and scatter my ashes to the wind in the most ridiculously over the top awesome way imaginable, but don't spend a lot of money on it.

Sadly, some of the more over the top ways are probably illegal. You need a permit to spread ashes to the wind on most beaches - a permit!


I don't expect to have to make those arrangements any time soon though.

i read somewhere that you can pay to have your ashes integrated into cement habitats being built for fish.

as i recently wrote somewhere around here, i seriously don't care what happens. donate my organs, then the rest of me to whatever scientific pursuit might benefit, or even a body farm.

i don't care. : )

 

[crossnote]

Believe it or not I'm quite an emotional person.
I'd go to my mother's gravesite just to be alone, pass memories and have a good cry over the memories.
Ironically at my mother's funeral I was full of joy knowing she as a Christian, passed on to be with Him.

 

[Jackson123]

I visited the grave not to respect the elderly, because they do not see what we do. But for memories as we see our photo as a child.

Sometimes memories has its own benefits, to remember how our parents guide us with love so that we always remember the advice he has gave to solve the problem , and re-learning experience in decision-making is taken, the wrong decision will result in adverse right decision will bring good.

In a grave where my parent at, close to a grave the riches man in town and die of heart attack at the age of 37.

I still remember like yesterday what a power full is this men, when he life, now only distant memory left over, hopefully turn out to be a teacher for the living.
That remind me how fast is life. we never know when God call us home.
In the grave all kind of memory come back to life to teach us a lesson not to greedy in our short life.

 

[mystdancer50]

The reason to visit the grave is for the person visiting, so if you see no reason to go, don't. We all grieve and honor those we've lost differently, and that's fine. Those that have left us are not even aware if someone is visiting their grave or not.

 

[UriahSmith1844]

I feel the same way. Once someone is dead they know nothing, the Bible says. Its all based on TRADITION. Not common sense.

What did Jesus say? 'LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD'.

Visiting a dead person's grave is more revolving around spiritualism, not true Christianity.

Its the Catholics that go praying to the dead and so forth. Spiritualism/Paganism/Superstition.

 

[breno785au]

I feel the same way. Once someone is dead they know nothing, the Bible says. Its all based on TRADITION. Not common sense.

What did Jesus say? 'LET THE DEAD BURY THE DEAD'.

Visiting a dead person's grave is more revolving around spiritualism, not true Christianity.

Its the Catholics that go praying to the dead and so forth. Spiritualism/Paganism/Superstition.

Do you consider it sin to visit a grave of a lost one? Not everyone goes there to do some ogga-booga spiritual stuff and pray over the dead. Someone may go to reflect on their memories and life of that person.

 

[acesneverwin]

I don't visit dead ones... mostly cause no one close has died and buried in a cemetery close by. I will say, and this may be a little morbid, I have a strange fascination with graves. I love to look at a grave of a person I never knew or met and wonder what their life was like. The graves that intrigue me the most are those that died young. What were their last thoughts? Why did they die so young? When you read random people's obituaries or look at random peoples graves, it may not mean much to you but they meant something to someone once. I tend to go back and try to find the story of how they died. If they died young, a lot of the times, the tragedy was recorded in the newspaper. Once searching, I even found a facebook page in memory of a 20 year old who died in a car accident almost 10 years earlier and seemed to be updated yearly by family members. You see this persons family and they post pictures of him and you feel kind of sad.

It's difficult to describe the feeling why I find graves and their stories so interesting but... I guess part of it is the mystery... at the same time kind of reminding yourself that that will be you someday. Maybe even tomorrow, you never know. This is your one life, so live it but don't forget that it's gonna be gone one day...

I also used to think the idea of a grave was stupid... what a waste of money. And honestly maybe it is. But I want to honor my parents when they go with a very nice headstone with the best picture I have of each of theirs (I really like the headstones where they have a picture on it). To me there's just something about seeing a person in their prime having a good time at least once before they went... I probably wouldn't visit my parents grave often, I don't need too... but for someone else who is happens to pass along, they can ask the same questions too...

I don't know maybe morbid but I just kind of find the whole thing kind of sobering... keeps you reminded to enjoy the short life God blessed ya with.