Would God tell my husband to divorce me?

[yasuko]

My husband wants to divorce me because he has been praying and God told him to.

Here is the backstory:

we dated for 5 years before marriage. We had some rocky times and broke up a few times but always prevailed. We have lost our touch with God several times, but we are now married and have been for 6 months.

My husband says that about halfway into our relationship he had doubts and feels like God was telling him that our relationship had run its course, that we were no longer needed in each other's lives. He tells me he ignored those promptings in favor of trying to have a happy life with me. We have a happy, if rocky, relationship. We need to work on communication skills and how to love each other better. We do need marriage counseling and we haven't tried it yet.

He says now he is feeling those feelings once again and that God says we shouldn't be together. He says he feels peace and that it is right. I have never felt this way about our marriage. Even after prayers, fasting, and speaking with our bishop.

I believe he made the covenants to be married. He will not try counseling and has kicked me out of the house, even removing all of our wedding pictures from his facebook account and will barely speak to me. I am distraught and I am confused how God could reveal this.

He feels that God would be okay with our divorce because he wasn't supposed to marry me to begin with. Could that be true?

 

[danschance]

My husband wants to divorce me because he has been praying and God told him to.

Here is the backstory:

we dated for 5 years before marriage. We had some rocky times and broke up a few times but always prevailed. We have lost our touch with God several times, but we are now married and have been for 6 months.

My husband says that about halfway into our relationship he had doubts and feels like God was telling him that our relationship had run its course, that we were no longer needed in each other's lives. He tells me he ignored those promptings in favor of trying to have a happy life with me. We have a happy, if rocky, relationship. We need to work on communication skills and how to love each other better. We do need marriage counseling and we haven't tried it yet.

He says now he is feeling those feelings once again and that God says we shouldn't be together. He says he feels peace and that it is right. I have never felt this way about our marriage. Even after prayers, fasting, and speaking with our bishop.

I believe he made the covenants to be married. He will not try counseling and has kicked me out of the house, even removing all of our wedding pictures from his facebook account and will barely speak to me. I am distraught and I am confused how God could reveal this.

He feels that God would be okay with our divorce because he wasn't supposed to marry me to begin with. Could that be true?

Clearly God has not told your husband to divorce you. God hates divorce. God has listed reasons why one can divorce and God will never contradict His word. Who ever or what ever is speaking to your husband is certainly not God.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

Anytime we feel like God is telling us something, we must test it against the Word to make sure it really is from God. And the Word says that divorce is hated by God, and that when two become one, nothing should separate them. So unless there is some circumstance that would justify divorce (adultery) then you can be certain God did NOT tell him to do this. A covenant has been made between two people in marriage. God takes these things very seriously.

I'm sorry for your marriage troubles... I hope that he will agree to counseling, and try to make things work.

 

[santuzza]

I ditto the sentiments above.

I would also add that I think that even if your husband does not want to go you counseling, you should, regardless. It will be good for you to get some good, godly advice.

God does not tell anyone to divorce, so clearly your hubby is not listening to God.

 

[Misty77]

A lot of evil has been done in the name of the Lord; that is the true meaning of taking the Lord's name in vain. God will not go against scripture, so unless either of you have been breaking the marriage covenant, there is no reason that God would tell him to divorce you.

I would say that his actions ("fruit") are putting him as worse than an unbeliever, namely one who refuses to care for his family. And if an unbeliever wants to leave, then you are to let him leave. These are rarely clear-cut situations so I would recommend good Bible-based, nondenominational counseling so help you discern which decisions are right for your family at this time.

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

 

[mystdancer50]

Though I firmly believe that God does have a specific person in mind for each of His children whom He has marriage for, the minute you marry, that's the one, regardless of anything else. So, the whole 'we never should have been married in the first place' is malarkey.

Add to this, that I feel the only time God see divorce as an option is when one or both of His children are unsafe. Affairs, abuse, addictions, etc. If there is danger to His child(ren) and counseling the like fail, then I feel divorce is okay. Notice here that I constantly said I, so no beating me over the head, okay?

The Bible tells us that if one person is saved and the other isn't and the unsaved person doesn't want a divorce, then the saved person must let them stay (see my exception in the second paragraph ), but if the unsaved person wants to leave, that the saved person should let them go.

I think that what often happens in relationships and marriage is when the couple arrives at the place where loving is a choice, they say they fell out of love and quit. It is in those moments that they should press in and love regardless how they feel. But our world makes it too easy to walk away.

I agree with the answers above and I am so sorry that you're going through this. I pray that God bring healing and that He protect your heart from any wounds the enemy will try to bring in this circumstance.

 

[brokenwife]

This is so similar to my life right now except for a few added factors. We had a very rocky relationship before we got married but always wound up back with each other. He was all I ever knew, my first everything and the past 5 years of my life. 3 months into our marriage my husband left me, said he wanted a divorce, and started an affair with his ex. That didn't last long - I found the Lord during this time and after much prayer- we got back together, started heavily relying on church, counseling and all things God. We did great for the past two years. Even had a "real" wedding this past summer (which we never had), reaffirming our vowels in front of all our friends and family. 4 months ago he came to me and said- he's prayed and he believes this is what he supposed to do. To divorce me so he can be with his ex-girlfriend which whom he as a son with. Like someone said above, whatever we think or feel is from God we must compare with scripture. In some people's minds it makes sense that he would go back and try to make a "family" with his ex girlfriend but I chose to believe what God says over what the world says. God says plenty about divorce and infidelity and makes it VERY clear He hates divorce. I once emailed this scripture to my husband: In Malachi Chapter 2

13 Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wait because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. 14 You ask, "Why?" It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant. 15 Has not [the LORD] made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. 16 "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith.

Right now, I'm sure you are hurt beyond words. You might feel like just running away. But if he has not been unfaithful to you or maybe if he has, I encourage you to fight for your marriage. Ultimately if he wants a divorce, he can get one but as long as you are honoring the Lord and honoring your commitment as a wife- you are in agreement with God and that needs to be your top priority. Pray for God to change his heart. Pray for your husband sun up to sun down. I don't understand why God hasn't stepped into stop my divorce and my husband's unfaithfulness but I know it is His will for all marriages to be saved and restored if we will let them. I will be praying for you and your husband.
God Bless you and keep you

 

[Agricola]

Your so called husband has decided he made a mistake in marrying you and wants an easy way out, so what better than to play the "God told me to do it" card.

I just second most of the above posts, God hates divorce and will not simply tell someone to divorce for no reason.

 

[jb]

...God has not told your husband to divorce you... Who ever or what ever is speaking to your husband is certainly not God.

Ditto.....!

 

[yasuko]

i feel so comforted by these responses. This is how I have felt praying and I could not reconcile how I felt with what my husband is saying.

He says he feels calm, assured, and so confident that this is his truth. I said we cannot always be certain that it is God speaking to us. I agree that it should be matched with His Word.

How can I tell my husband this? I am so heartbroken that he will leave. We finally were able to speak and I apologized for my selfishness in the relationship. I feel it is important to be humble and gracious rather than blaming and angry. He said I needed to pray for acceptance of whatever decision he makes. I do not know how to explain this to him that our marriage is workable and just because he is experiencing these feelings doesn't mean our marriage must be over. I believe in a covenantal marriage and I want to uphold the promises we made. He is somewhat cold, distant, and very confident in this decision.

 

[christianwife87]

I am going through marital problems as well, the best thing you can do is give the situation to God and you keep your focus completely on God, God does hate divorce but he will allow separation if he feels like your attention is not fully on him, he will get your attention back and once he has you completely he will restore your marriage regardless of what your husband is saying, God has all the power, you just have to trust and believe it. Have faith!!
I will be praying for you as well... If you need to talk just inbox me

 

[TheAristocat]

i feel so comforted by these responses. This is how I have felt praying and I could not reconcile how I felt with what my husband is saying.

He says he feels calm, assured, and so confident that this is his truth. I said we cannot always be certain that it is God speaking to us. I agree that it should be matched with His Word.

How can I tell my husband this? I am so heartbroken that he will leave. We finally were able to speak and I apologized for my selfishness in the relationship. I feel it is important to be humble and gracious rather than blaming and angry. He said I needed to pray for acceptance of whatever decision he makes. I do not know how to explain this to him that our marriage is workable and just because he is experiencing these feelings doesn't mean our marriage must be over. I believe in a covenantal marriage and I want to uphold the promises we made. He is somewhat cold, distant, and very confident in this decision.

Jeremiah 17:9 The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?

Sounds like your husband is mistaking what his heart tells him (his feelings) for what God is telling him. He needs to seek God's advice from the Bible and stop listening to his heart. And I'd also advocate for both of you to stay away from Catholic teachings if that's what you're involved in. What I've seen from it is man-made ritual, the apocrypha, corruption, and the twisting of the Gospel throughout its history. Stay very far away. Best to read the Word for yourself and get different opinions on it. That's all any man has to offer you in the end. And if you have a good head on your shoulders you'll do well to look for the best opinion that conforms to Scripture.

Anyway, that was a bit off-topic. And I'm sorry if I offended you or made a wrong assumption about you or him.

 

[presidente]

My husband wants to divorce me because he has been praying and God told him to.

Here is the backstory:

we dated for 5 years before marriage. We had some rocky times and broke up a few times but always prevailed. We have lost our touch with God several times, but we are now married and have been for 6 months.

My husband says that about halfway into our relationship he had doubts and feels like God was telling him that our relationship had run its course, that we were no longer needed in each other's lives. He tells me he ignored those promptings in favor of trying to have a happy life with me. We have a happy, if rocky, relationship. We need to work on communication skills and how to love each other better. We do need marriage counseling and we haven't tried it yet.

He says now he is feeling those feelings once again and that God says we shouldn't be together. He says he feels peace and that it is right. I have never felt this way about our marriage. Even after prayers, fasting, and speaking with our bishop.

I believe he made the covenants to be married. He will not try counseling and has kicked me out of the house, even removing all of our wedding pictures from his facebook account and will barely speak to me. I am distraught and I am confused how God could reveal this.

He feels that God would be okay with our divorce because he wasn't supposed to marry me to begin with. Could that be true?

You could ask your husband what he'd say if you told him that God told you to kill him and sneak his flesh into the meat at a hamburger restaurant. What would his response to that be? Does the Bible, and what we actually know that God said have anything to do with what he thinks God is saying?

If he won't listen, if I were you, I might try getting to church officials to talk to him and excommunicate him if necessary. It may wake him up if he realizes he's being treated as a false prophet for his claims.

 

[jb]

My husband wants to divorce me because he has been praying and God told him to.

Here is the backstory:

we dated for 5 years before marriage. We had some rocky times and broke up a few times but always prevailed. We have lost our touch with God several times, but we are now married and have been for 6 months.

My husband says that about halfway into our relationship he had doubts and feels like God was telling him that our relationship had run its course, that we were no longer needed in each other's lives. He tells me he ignored those promptings in favor of trying to have a happy life with me. We have a happy, if rocky, relationship. We need to work on communication skills and how to love each other better. We do need marriage counseling and we haven't tried it yet.

He says now he is feeling those feelings once again and that God says we shouldn't be together. He says he feels peace and that it is right. I have never felt this way about our marriage. Even after prayers, fasting, and speaking with our bishop.

I believe he made the covenants to be married. He will not try counseling and has kicked me out of the house, even removing all of our wedding pictures from his facebook account and will barely speak to me. I am distraught and I am confused how God could reveal this.

He feels that God would be okay with our divorce because he wasn't supposed to marry me to begin with. Could that be true?

You can find a bit of a study Here on marriage and divorce...

Yahweh Shalom...

 

[Angela53510]

This post is another example of why personal prophecy that is in direct conflict with the Bible is so dangerous.

I think you need to print up the following verses in large letters, and ask first if he would please read these verses out loud to you. Then tell him you do not want a divorce, because you do not want to commit adultery if he divorces you.

"But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Matt 5:22

“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." Matt 5:31-32

“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Malachi 2:16

"To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.: 1 Cor. 7:10-11

There are other verses, but these should be sufficient to show him that God has not told him to divorce you, because God never contradicts his Word.

If these verses do not convince him, tell him that if he wants a divorce, doesn't want to try marriage counseling, then he should just say it, and not slander God by making up a lie and a false prophecy that makes it seem like he has an easy out. Marriage is a commitment for life, and he needs to be told by an older man in your church that he is mocking God, and not obeying him! (I hope you are both attending church! And read your Bible! The gems are just everywhere for hiding in your heart!)

 

[Jette]

I completely agree with everything that so many have said here. God hates divorce therefore he wouldn't tell your husband to divorce you, etc. I am also going through a divorce, my husband feels he'll be happier without me in his life (Not biblical but i'm fighting for my marriage and I encourage you to do the same no matter what comes out of your husband's mouth).

I would just like to caution you about sending your husband verses and other materials about divorce, etc. because some men are extremely offended when the wives they want to put away send them materials and things that they don't feel they need to read, etc. and it could possibly not do anything. What comes to my mind is 1 Peter 3:1-2 (NIV) Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. ​[emphasis added]

I would just encourage you to use this time to grow in your relationship with Christ and stand in the gap for your husband. He is being deceived by the enemy and this battle we wage isn't against our spouses it's spiritual. Ephesians 6:12 (KJV) For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Will be keeping you and your husband in my prayers.

 

[yasuko]

My husband will not listen to church officials, will not go to church, and is going through with the divorce.

Please continue to pray that he will have a change of heart. I do not understand why this is happening as we do not have any problems other than typical communication problems and outside stress. I love my husband with all my heart and I am suffering deeply in this time.

I am working on strengthening my relationship with God and trusting that through Him all things are possible. This is terribly difficult. My heart is broken.

 

[presidente]

My husband will not listen to church officials, will not go to church, and is going through with the divorce.

Please continue to pray that he will have a change of heart. I do not understand why this is happening as we do not have any problems other than typical communication problems and outside stress. I love my husband with all my heart and I am suffering deeply in this time.

I am working on strengthening my relationship with God and trusting that through Him all things are possible. This is terribly difficult. My heart is broken.

You could tell your husband if He is blaming leaving you on God, prophesying falsely in the name of the Lord, because of another woman, the Lord will hold him responsible. Remind him of Ananias and Saphira and see how he reacts.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

My husband will not listen to church officials, will not go to church, and is going through with the divorce.

Please continue to pray that he will have a change of heart. I do not understand why this is happening as we do not have any problems other than typical communication problems and outside stress. I love my husband with all my heart and I am suffering deeply in this time.

I am working on strengthening my relationship with God and trusting that through Him all things are possible. This is terribly difficult. My heart is broken.

I'm sorry to hear this yasuko... At this point, having abandoned whatever faith he may have had, there is nothing to be done but keep your eyes on Christ and know that your life will go on, and your pain will ease with time and healing. Try to be confident around him, do not let him see you suffering. Gather your friends to you and let them help. Let your life be a testimony to the Lord's faithfulness to you. Perhaps it will touch your husband's heart. And if not, I know that it will touch others around you. (((hugs)))

 

[Sponge_Bob]

thats a messed up situation thats why u gotta be careful who you marry people