he says he is a big believer and now this?

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A

Anne8

Guest
#1
#1
Hello to all!

I am new here. Thanks for reading me.


I am a greek orthodox christian, 27 years old, and work in a law office for almost 2 years now.
A couple of months ago a very nice, intelligent, kind and i have to say good looking employe joined us.
He has been very nice to me and I have been more and more interested in knowing him a little bit better.
We discovered to our great surprise that we are both christian orthodox and since then, that has been one of our small-talk conversations around the coffee machine.

I am a believer but I am not very religious (practicing), although my orthodox faith is an essential part of me.
I don t go to Church every sunday, nor do I respect all the holidays or know all my prayers or verses.
He, however does. He is a big believer and would not miss Church for anything in the world.
I must confess i looked him up on Facebook (only once) and most of his friends seem to be from his Church community.

Despite our difference, I feel that we do have something in common and the fact that his faith is so important to him, made me realize that i should also take care of mine. I went to Church a couple of times since I met him and I have been thinking a lot lately about my believes and my faith. It seems that his influence has been beneficial for me.

Now the problem:

It seems that he is dating someone and that that someone is a non christian lady.
It hurts.
I do not understand, he has been so kind and so interested in me in the past few weeks. He has made eye contact like nobody else before!!!! He makes me happy.
Also, he has made such a point out of our common faith. He told me that his faith is very important for him...and now this?

Please note 1: I believe in a unique god, and I believe that we have all been made equal. I do *not* in any way look down upon that lady because she is of another religion than mine...but i do not understand! Why did he choose to get involved into an interfaith Relationship if he is such a big believer.

Please note 2: I am not even 100%sure that he is dating that lady. He did not tell me. A common colleague has told me that he saw them holding hands a few months ago...and then again having lunch together at the small restaurant on the first flore of our building 2 weeks ago.

Please, what should i do? Should i let go? Should i try to know him better?
Should I talk to him about our faith, to see what else he has to say?

Why did he choose to get involved into a interfaith Relationship if he is a big believer? Why has he been flirting with me like crazy if he is seeing someone else?

Thank you very much for reading me, and thank you for your answers.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#2
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#2
Sometimes people are just friendly, which can be confusing and appear to be flirting. His behavior toward you (as you have described it) can easily be interpreted as him just being friendly.

How do you know this woman is not a believer?

You don't know for sure if they are dating or not. Why are you getting upset about something that you haven't confirmed?
 
GregoryC

GregoryC

Senior Member
#3
Feb 5, 2014
361
7
18
#3
Sounds like your in love and maybe a bit jealous?
 
A

Anne8

Guest
#4
#4
No, I don t make loooongue eye contacts with my friendly collegues, and they don t turn arount when I walk by.
Their eyes don t sparkle when I talk to them.


I *think* that she is of the hindu faith because our common collegue has described her as having a small hindu dot on her forehead when he saw them. I don t know anything else.

But you are right, i might be overthinking all of this.
 
GregoryC

GregoryC

Senior Member
#6
Feb 5, 2014
361
7
18
#6
So happy you have become more earnest in your relationship to God no matter the reason. Now exercise some of that faith you have been cultivating and rest firmly on your Fathers perfect will.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#7
#7
Anne8 said:
Yes and Yes :)
Click to expand...

You're in love with a guy you've been working with for 2 months who you've had lunch with once and have ''small talk with around the coffee machine''
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#8
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#8
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
You're in love with a guy you've been working with for 2 months who you've had lunch with once and have ''small talk with around the coffee machine''
Click to expand...
ummm......but he' nice and good looking.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#9
#9
It's possible he just genuinely likes you but not in a girlfriend/boyfriend kind of way.

Perhaps you should just ask him if he is single rather than relying on what other people say. If he says he has a girlfriend, just move on. Nothing else you can do
 
A

Anne8

Guest
#10
#10
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
You're in love with a guy you've been working with for 2 months who you've had lunch with once and have ''small talk with around the coffee machine''
Click to expand...
I like him. Let`s put it this way.
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#11
#11
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
You're in love with a guy you've been working with for 2 months who you've had lunch with once and have ''small talk with around the coffee machine''
Click to expand...
Pshhh, my personal record is under two minutes :p
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#13
#13
Anne8 said:
Please, what should i do? Well, don't do anything. He is only a co-worker who has been friendly with you during working hours. :)


Should i let go? Yes, let go of any racing thoughts about... ...nothing, frankly. When a guy wants to properly befriend you exclusively, you will definitely know about it directly from him. :)

Should i try to know him better? Well, from a godly perspective, I would hold my horses in respect to the girl whom he is "presumed" to be dating. How would you feel if your co-worker was favoring you, and another girl at his church, for example, was "trying to know him better?"

Should I talk to him about our faith, to see what else he has to say? Nah, let it go. Let him conquer you if that's what God has purposed for him. Those of us who practice the faith we usually know when others are in love with the faith too, or just grabbing a spoon-full-of-sugar to caramelize our attention. :D

Why did he choose to get involved into a interfaith Relationship if he is a big believer? Well, the Lord Jesus died for the unbelieving girl also. God may be calling her to the most precious faith in Christ Jesus, and she may be seeing what you have seen in your co-worker in regards to his faith.

Why has he been flirting with me like crazy if he is seeing someone else? That's a Red Flag in my dictionary. Perhaps he is not flirty, but simply friendlier than the other co-workers. On the other hand, if he is flirting, then do you really want to be involved with a flamboyant Trojan... I mean, a flirting Greek? :rolleyes:
Click to expand...
Welcome to CC Forums, Anne! :) :) :)
 
A

Anne8

Guest
#14
#14
Donkeyfish07 said:
It's possible he just genuinely likes you but not in a girlfriend/boyfriend kind of way.

Perhaps you should just ask him if he is single rather than relying on what other people say. If he says he has a girlfriend, just move on. Nothing else you can do
Click to expand...
Yes...is it ok, to ask someone at work if he is seeing somebody. I don t know. I don t think so.


He did asked me to come to his Church.

However, when I said I would like to come. He said ok. Didn t give me the adress, did n t give me a meeting point,
I didn t understand,,,?
 
B

biscuit

Guest
#17
#17
Anne8 said:
Hello to all!

I am new here. Thanks for reading me.


I am a greek orthodox christian, 27 years old, and work in a law office for almost 2 years now.
A couple of months ago a very nice, intelligent, kind and i have to say good looking employe joined us.
He has been very nice to me and I have been more and more interested in knowing him a little bit better.
We discovered to our great surprise that we are both christian orthodox and since then, that has been one of our small-talk conversations around the coffee machine.

I am a believer but I am not very religious (practicing), although my orthodox faith is an essential part of me.
I don t go to Church every sunday, nor do I respect all the holidays or know all my prayers or verses.
He, however does. He is a big believer and would not miss Church for anything in the world.
I must confess i looked him up on Facebook (only once) and most of his friends seem to be from his Church community.

Despite our difference, I feel that we do have something in common and the fact that his faith is so important to him, made me realize that i should also take care of mine. I went to Church a couple of times since I met him and I have been thinking a lot lately about my believes and my faith. It seems that his influence has been beneficial for me.

Now the problem:

It seems that he is dating someone and that that someone is a non christian lady.
It hurts.
I do not understand, he has been so kind and so interested in me in the past few weeks. He has made eye contact like nobody else before!!!! He makes me happy.
Also, he has made such a point out of our common faith. He told me that his faith is very important for him...and now this?

Please note 1: I believe in a unique god, and I believe that we have all been made equal. I do *not* in any way look down upon that lady because she is of another religion than mine...but i do not understand! Why did he choose to get involved into an interfaith Relationship if he is such a big believer.

Please note 2: I am not even 100%sure that he is dating that lady. He did not tell me. A common colleague has told me that he saw them holding hands a few months ago...and then again having lunch together at the small restaurant on the first flore of our building 2 weeks ago.

Please, what should i do? Should i let go? Should i try to know him better?
Should I talk to him about our faith, to see what else he has to say?

Why did he choose to get involved into a interfaith Relationship if he is a big believer? Why has he been flirting with me like crazy if he is seeing someone else?

Thank you very much for reading me, and thank you for your answers.
Click to expand...
He made a commitment to another woman and it bothers you. You need to move on and forget him at the present time.
 
MrsRoseTreasure

MrsRoseTreasure

Banned
#18
Feb 8, 2014
325
22
0
#18
I would start with prayer, always and first. Keep in mind that while he may be conversing with you, that may be all of his interest at this time. He may see you as a fellow believer and possible source of fellowship only. Because of your interest, you may be "coloring" your interactions with your own emotions. You could just be blunt and ask, "Are you seeing anyone?" Or ask him on a date, "I have tickets to a thing on Friday. Are you interested in going with me?" Or, you could just enjoy his company, and let Yahweh do his work. Sometimes you need to let the work of the Father happen in his time, not yours.

On the other woman. Sure, he could be called to be with a non-believer. Hosea was called to marry a whore. I myself believe that my husband was given to me by divine providence. I needed a specific kind of man, a truth-teller. Even though he was agnostic, I felt undeniably drawn to him. I was healed of the affliction of lying as a sign to show me that he was for me. Yahweh's influence in my life has changed him. He is becoming a believer, little by little. His anger, a shield against the world, is becoming tempered, and he is feeling a thirst for the word, and a need for greater truth. Without my presence in his life, he surely would have committed suicide. Literally, Yeshua saves. :)

I am not you, but I can tell you what I would do. I am very blunt, for a woman, and thanks to my five brothers, I understand that guys really just want you to tell them what you think. They spend half their lives trying to figure that one thing out!! I would simply be honest, tell him I really like him and wanted to know him better, and ask him if anyone would be upset if we spent time together. The worst thing that will happen is you will get shoved into the friend zone. OK. You have made a new friend, and stopped torturing yourself trying to find out the truth. I hope this helps. :)
 
D

Donkeyfish07

Guest
#19
#19
Anne8 said:
Yes...is it ok, to ask someone at work if he is seeing somebody. I don t know. I don t think so.


He did asked me to come to his Church.

However, when I said I would like to come. He said ok. Didn t give me the adress, did n t give me a meeting point,
I didn t understand,,,?
Click to expand...
I don't think asking anyone if they have a boyfriend or a girlfriend is anywhere near being inappropriate, people of the same gender do it just to make conversation.
 
B

BananaPie

Guest
#20
#20
Anne8 said:
...the fact that his faith is so important to him, made me realize that i should also take care of mine. I went to Church a couple of times since I met him and I have been thinking a lot lately about my believes and my faith.
Click to expand...
Anne,

You're on the right path to seek the Lord God your Maker.
May you too find the treasures we have in the Lord God Jesus Christ, and may the Holy Spirit of God eternally anchor you upon the secure foundation we have in Christ Jesus. Hugs. :)

blanco.jpg
...you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.
(Jeremiah 29:13)
 
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