never had a gf. don't see much hope of ever getting one. any suggestions?

[AAAPlus]

.....

And dont worry, i will leave soon.

Good.

 

[Arcynaculr]

Are you actually genuinely interested in getting better? Or are you more interested in pettily fighting?

I think your ignorance is astounding. When someone cares enough to write in and post to you and point out all the things that you should be grateful for - ie: your young age and actually throughout this thread, various people have pointed out your age as a positive factor in all this, not just me - it's a source of encouragement.

Your black and white interpretations of what i say which 100% of the time play the victim stance only illustrate my point. Let me break it down for you even further than I already thought was obvious: Happiness is attractive. You originally posted about not having a significant other. Depression aside, i pointed out all the things that you should be grateful for and will help change your attitude to something more positive - thus being able to help you with what you wanted. Your depression was also addressed encouraging you to go to God and develop a relationship with Him.

I have never once made this blanket black and white statement "depressed people are unattractive" and i'm not going to respond to your sarcastic victim playing remark again of "yeah depressed people are depressing to be around so don't be around them". My intentions are good and i have considered what i've posted and i stand by every word. I think your interpretations are ignorant, they play the victim, they're sarcastic and ungrateful. If you're actually interested in turning things around start showing some gratitude, take up the advice and start educating yourself about what you can do.

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest that no one wants to be around you - that's evidence enough for you to change your attitude and work on yourself - both of which you can do with God before you entertain the idea of having someone else on the end of you.

How dare you. Your attitude is absolutely disgusting. You don't know me or what i've gone through. Your sarcastic bitterness has just been illustrated even further.

I don't have to assume you like playing the victim, it is illustrated time and again throughout your responses. It's like i have to state the obvious to your immature sarcasm: No i don't expect you to 'get better' after this discussion, i would've hoped it would've given you new ideas, encouragement and some direction, all of which could've been responded with with a bit of a gratitude. Certainly too me you've been nothing but sarcastic, immature and revelling in being the victim.

I think you're a really sick person. If you're experiencing depression or have been diagnosed with this, I encourage you to get help. I encourage you to go to God and develop your relationship with Him, that's the best thing you can do, forget about dates/relationships, please go and seek God, He's the number one thing you need.

Ok. Im sorry. really.

For some reason your statements came off as abrasive to me...
So i got rather defensive.

But anyway, im just being honest with everything i say.
I would appreciate if you could understand that there is no easy cure for how i feel.
So if most things you say have no effect, please dont get upset. im trying my best here!
I feel like you over-reacted to what i said too. but its ok. no worries.

 

[Arcynaculr]

OP, I truly hope you find a way to resolve your issue. God bless you

Thanks.

(message too short so i typed this)

 

[Arcynaculr]

.....


Good.

But im not that dothack guy. did he ever get on cam? Cuz if so i will get on cam too and prove it.

But i dont see what your problem with me is... very odd.

 

[mystdancer50]

Sometimes I wonder if we're the trolls. You poke us with a stick enough and we become a troll. I am one of them. I have gotten so frustrated in threads that I've had to literally never return to the thread again. I've gotten better of late...but no one is perfect.

I must say, Arcynaculr, that I, too, struggled with depression once upon a time. Truly. The only thing that set me free, though, was my relationship with Christ. I know that for now you are not interested in knowing Him, but I believe you feel that there is truth in the life of true Christians, or you wouldn't be on this site seeking answers, which I hope you find.

One of the biggest things that changed my depression was realizing what Christ went through for me. How can I feel sorry for myself when Jesus, who was absolutely perfect, who was love in human form, whom children flocked to and women were respected by, was beaten and murdered for my sins? Depression loses its hold when I see things that way.

It is true that depression cannot just be shaken off. It is a spirit. It is a dark cloud that grows as long as it is fed. And there is much to feed it with. This world is a dark and depressing place, especially without Christ.

I hope you don't leave this site. If you're genuinely seeking answers here and if you truly feel that something is missing in your life, I believe you will find help, healing and strength here. Do not be put off by some of the angry responses you have received and will receive. We, like you, are humans and are held sway by our emotions in the heat of the moment, no matter what we try to be and do.

There are times when I will not be my best and there will times when Christ will shine so lovely through me that it will amaze even me. I pray that the love of Christ will find you with a willing heart and that you will see that He is absolutely amazing and nothing in this world will satisfy like He does.

 

[JesusLives]

I whine too much for a 20 yr old man or for a human being?

More to life than emotions, yes. Working, making money, helping others... but at the same time, no matter what i do, the loneliness will be there.
Maybe some people can kill off their feelings, but i guess im not that lucky.

If someone complains about the pain of an empty stomach, do they whine too much? Why is it any different for the pain of an empty heart?
And what cures an empty stomach? Ignoring it? No. Fixing it. Can you do other things with an empty stomach? Yes. but the emptiness and pain will be a constant veil over anything you do. its the same with an empty heart. actually its worse.
Cuz an empty stomach is so much easier to fix.

At least this is my reality. maybe yours is different.

I was married and many times had a lot of people around me and I would think to myself how lonely I was in a room full of people. Got divorced and my daughter has long since left the house and I now live all alone and I never feel lonely. What is the difference? I didn't really have Jesus in my heart and life when I was married and I never felt the kind of love that God gives in my marriage. With surrendering my life to God I realize how much He loves me and now even though there is a deafening silence in the house I never feel alone because I know God is with me and I have a peace that passes all understanding. I invite you to surrender to Jesus today and surround yourself with loving people, join a church group of young people if you are not already in one and start feeling God's love for you. The loneliness will vanish.

 

[Arcynaculr]

Sometimes I wonder if we're the trolls. You poke us with a stick enough and we become a troll. I am one of them. I have gotten so frustrated in threads that I've had to literally never return to the thread again. I've gotten better of late...but no one is perfect.

I must say, Arcynaculr, that I, too, struggled with depression once upon a time. Truly. The only thing that set me free, though, was my relationship with Christ. I know that for now you are not interested in knowing Him, but I believe you feel that there is truth in the life of true Christians, or you wouldn't be on this site seeking answers, which I hope you find.

One of the biggest things that changed my depression was realizing what Christ went through for me. How can I feel sorry for myself when Jesus, who was absolutely perfect, who was love in human form, whom children flocked to and women were respected by, was beaten and murdered for my sins? Depression loses its hold when I see things that way.

It is true that depression cannot just be shaken off. It is a spirit. It is a dark cloud that grows as long as it is fed. And there is much to feed it with. This world is a dark and depressing place, especially without Christ.

I hope you don't leave this site. If you're genuinely seeking answers here and if you truly feel that something is missing in your life, I believe you will find help, healing and strength here. Do not be put off by some of the angry responses you have received and will receive. We, like you, are humans and are held sway by our emotions in the heat of the moment, no matter what we try to be and do.

There are times when I will not be my best and there will times when Christ will shine so lovely through me that it will amaze even me. I pray that the love of Christ will find you with a willing heart and that you will see that He is absolutely amazing and nothing in this world will satisfy like He does.

Thank you.

And i dont hold anything against anyone for their frustrations with me.
I honestly did not mean to annoy anyone. and i certainly dont want to hinder anyones enjoyment of this site...
I just want you all to know that if the majority want me to leave, then i will right now. if not, i still plan on leaving but not right away.

Sorry for including this statement in a response to you myst... hope you dont mind.

 

[mystdancer50]

Thank you.

And i dont hold anything against anyone for their frustrations with me.
I honestly did not mean to annoy anyone. and i certainly dont want to hinder anyones enjoyment of this site...
I just want you all to know that if the majority want me to leave, then i will right now. if not, i still plan on leaving but not right away.

Sorry for including this statement in a response to you myst... hope you dont mind.

No worries. You are welcome here, regardless if others tell you they want you to leave. The only time that people are truly made to leave is when they purposely stir up strife and discord or they post inappropriate things, which I haven't seen you do, so you're good.

 

[Simona25]

I think that if you would continue your studies, get a job or simply involve into a social activity, you would considerably increase your moral.
I also think that playing horror video games is a dangerous waste of time.
And why are you against making some friends, rather than making one girlfriend that would substitute your friends?

 

[ww_21]

This is a public forum and you are welcome here. No ordinary member can tell you to leave and even so if they did, it's wrong. The only person who has a say in if you leave or go is an administrator. It deeply pains me to see you in this situation; being depressed and such because I am in the same boat as you, and it sucks and it's painful. I sincerely hope you can get over this, and I apologize for the rude comments made by some people to you via this thread. You do not deserve it. Chin up, my friend.

 

[Arcynaculr]

I think that if you would continue your studies, get a job or simply involve into a social activity, you would considerably increase your moral.
I also think that playing horror video games is a dangerous waste of time.
And why are you against making some friends, rather than making one girlfriend that would substitute your friends?

Im sorry you feel that way about my fave games. honestly, the only thing im living for is games, movies, anime, music, books etc. And i really like japan. maybe i will live there someday...

And i dont know... i was never happy in school...

And well... you know how suicide hurts people that care alot about you? Well... i need to feel like someone loves and cares about me alot... so if there is only one person who does... then if that one person stops caring about me and i end up suiciding... there wont be anyone that cares about me much so it wont hurt anyone very much.

Its more complicated than that but i tried to summarize... there are other reasons too but not as signifigant.

 

[Stephen63]

Looks like the thread is becoming polarized........t'won't be long now. Please remember that some of you on different sides are friends before the fight.......

It doesn't take a psychology major to see where this is going.......

 

[keep_on_smiling]

Your life is what you make of it.- It may sound silly, but it's true. If you want to be stuck in a depression then so be it, it's your choice. You've received a lot of good advice here, but only you can make some changes to your life.

My suggestions:

Stop being so negative- Your title includes, "don't see much hope of ever getting one". Well quite honestly after reading your responses ( I can't believe I read the entire thread) I wouldn't have any hope either. Be proactive, come out of your comfort zone even a little. If you want to stay home on the computer or playing video games all the time, then enjoy it, but don't expect a girl to just appear. Be realistic.

Your depression is real- But it seems that you love it and use it as an excuse. Do things to help you come out of it. Your depression is apart of you, it is not who you are or what you should want to be.

And probably the most important piece of advice I can give you is try to get to know God. I have to believe that you came on CC for a reason, other than a girlfriend. You aren't a believer, but you must have some interest in God. I find my comfort with God, maybe you can too. This in the very least, will give you another focus.

And finally, you aren't unloved, that's a lie of the enemy to get you in this very weak, depressed state that you are in. God loves you more than you are even capable of understanding.

 

[Arcynaculr]

This is a public forum and you are welcome here. No ordinary member can tell you to leave and even so if they did, it's wrong. The only person who has a say in if you leave or go is an administrator. It deeply pains me to see you in this situation; being depressed and such because I am in the same boat as you, and it sucks and it's painful. I sincerely hope you can get over this, and I apologize for the rude comments made by some people to you via this thread. You do not deserve it. Chin up, my friend.

Thank you.
And i really hope you feel better soon...

 

[Arcynaculr]

Looks like the thread is becoming polarized........t'won't be long now. Please remember that some of you on different sides are friends before the fight.......

It doesn't take a psychology major to see where this is going.......

If you feel like my posts are turning people against each other. im sorry.
I dont want to do that... but i wont be staying here very long.

For the time i remain i will try not to cross anyone the wrong way.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Your life is what you make of it.- It may sound silly, but it's true. If you want to be stuck in a depression then so be it, it's your choice. You've received a lot of good advice here, but only you can make some changes to your life.

My suggestions:

Stop being so negative- Your title includes, "don't see much hope of ever getting one". Well quite honestly after reading your responses ( I can't believe I read the entire thread) I wouldn't have any hope either. Be proactive, come out of your comfort zone even a little. If you want to stay home on the computer or playing video games all the time, then enjoy it, but don't expect a girl to just appear. Be realistic.

Your depression is real- But it seems that you love it and use it as an excuse. Do things to help you come out of it. Your depression is apart of you, it is not who you are or what you should want to be.

And probably the most important piece of advice I can give you is try to get to know God. I have to believe that you came on CC for a reason, other than a girlfriend. You aren't a believer, but you must have some interest in God. I find my comfort with God, maybe you can too. This in the very least, will give you another focus.

And finally, you aren't unloved, that's a lie of the enemy to get you in this very weak, depressed state that you are in. God loves you more than you are even capable of understanding.

To figure what John's Gospel and John's First Epistle and other books of the Bible say about God's love in Christ to sinners, is hugely impressive, and needs to be experienced first hand; and it's a life-changing realization.

 

[mystdancer50]

Im sorry you feel that way about my fave games. honestly, the only thing im living for is games, movies, anime, music, books etc. And i really like japan. maybe i will live there someday...

And i dont know... i was never happy in school...

And well... you know how suicide hurts people that care alot about you? Well... i need to feel like someone loves and cares about me alot... so if there is only one person who does... then if that one person stops caring about me and i end up suiciding... there wont be anyone that cares about me much so it wont hurt anyone very much.

Its more complicated than that but i tried to summarize... there are other reasons too but not as signifigant.

I can assure you that at least one person cares. I don't know you personally, but I know the value of every life on this earth. The Lord God created each person specially and uniquely. It would devastate me to know that someone felt such despair that they took their own life. As I said, I don't know you personally, but I promise you that there are people in your life who care and love you deeply. We tend to think of love as a feeling, but most times it's a choice moreso than a feeling. Sometimes we are really bad at expressing our love and concern for those in our lives that matter. But cling to this truth no matter what: You are loved, your life has great value, and you are vital in the life of others...even when it doesn't feel that way.

 

[Arcynaculr]

Your life is what you make of it.- It may sound silly, but it's true. If you want to be stuck in a depression then so be it, it's your choice. You've received a lot of good advice here, but only you can make some changes to your life.

My suggestions:

Stop being so negative- Your title includes, "don't see much hope of ever getting one". Well quite honestly after reading your responses ( I can't believe I read the entire thread) I wouldn't have any hope either. Be proactive, come out of your comfort zone even a little. If you want to stay home on the computer or playing video games all the time, then enjoy it, but don't expect a girl to just appear. Be realistic.

Your depression is real- But it seems that you love it and use it as an excuse. Do things to help you come out of it. Your depression is apart of you, it is not who you are or what you should want to be.

And probably the most important piece of advice I can give you is try to get to know God. I have to believe that you came on CC for a reason, other than a girlfriend. You aren't a believer, but you must have some interest in God. I find my comfort with God, maybe you can too. This in the very least, will give you another focus.

And finally, you aren't unloved, that's a lie of the enemy to get you in this very weak, depressed state that you are in. God loves you more than you are even capable of understanding.

Just want to say i dont want to be depressed. that impression is false and if i give it to you then thats a failure on my part.

And like many people you assume i have more power over how i feel than what i actually do. believe me, if i had as much power as you say i do; i would not be so depressed.

I dont mean to sound like a victim here. im just being honest.
But regardless, thank you for your response and for reading everything. it does mean something to me.

 

[keep_on_smiling]

I can assure you that at least one person cares. I don't know you personally, but I know the value of every life on this earth. The Lord God created each person specially and uniquely. It would devastate me to know that someone felt such despair that they took their own life. As I said, I don't know you personally, but I promise you that there are people in your life who care and love you deeply. We tend to think of love as a feeling, but most times it's a choice moreso than a feeling. Sometimes we are really bad at expressing our love and concern for those in our lives that matter. But cling to this truth no matter what: You are loved, your life has great value, and you are vital in the life of others...even when it doesn't feel that way.

I agree completely ^^^

 

[PopClick]

i found out that she didnt really care about me... she just cared about how i made her feel and since she didnt need me to feel help her feel better anymore, she left.

If she just would have actually cared about me like i cared about her... she would have stayed... and maybe i would have eventually gotten better too... but she didnt really care...

But the problem was not that either of us was depressed. the problem was she just didnt care.

So where was jesus during all these years of depression?

Dude, ^^those two statements are somewhat contradictory to me. You want the love and care to go both ways? And yet what did you offer Jesus? Your life? Your belief or praise? Anything?

This is obviously dothackzero.

No, it is not.