what makes criticism constructive?

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just_monicat

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Jan 1, 2014
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we live in a critical, fault-finding world, full of conflict and negativity.

studies show time after time that we will readily discard positive feedback much sooner than we will let go of negative feedback.

yet, criticism plays a vital role in both learning and development, even though many of us respond very differently to criticism.

in a world eagerly poised to hurl insult and blame, how do you handle criticism?


1. what makes criticism constructive?

2. how well do you receive constructive criticism?
 
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It's the way things are said, but also the way things are perceived as well. Like, if you say to a friend 'that dress you are wearing isn't right for your body shape' you might be trying to help, but it can be taken as a personal insult. Yet, if you said 'that dress you wore last week was better', it's not a negative, and it is telling your friend something good - building them up. Yes, they could still take it as criticism, but that's their choice.
 
1. Humility and patience. Humility to accept what is true. Patience to endure what is wrong.

2. This can be defined in how much faith we put in Jesus.
 
1. what makes criticism constructive?

IMO,for me at least the 2 words don't really even go together in my mind. Criticism seems negative,while Constructive seems to imply to build something up. I believe if you're going to share anything with anyone that you feel is "constructive" then firstly you need to check your own heart & make sure that what you are telling or sharing with them is not done in a way that is done in a mean spirited way. Some people will never take correction,no matter how it's delivered. Some people will always see it as "attacking" them or being "critical" even if it's not presented in that way. If I am to constructively criticise or critique someone,then hopefully I am keeping on point & presenting a solution and honest facts or truth & not mixing it with my own personal bias or feelings. (if that makes sense)

2. how well do you receive constructive criticism?

Much better now than when I was younger. I'm actually all ears if someone has a better solution or sees that I am messing up something badly,as long as they aren't just there to be a jerk & point out my flaws or to act all judgmental.


 
1. Criticism is constructive if it points out something that I can indeed improve and possibly offers advice as to how I can improve.

2. I appreciate constructive criticism because I'm a writer so I am used to people reading my work and suggesting changes "why don't you try this?" I actually appreciate constructive criticism because it means that someone took the time out of their own lives to make a suggestion in an effort to assist me in self improvement.
 
Conversations between musicians working on something together is the only situation I can think of off the top of my head where I've seen it work. Like

A: "Dude, I like the idea your getting across there but your adding in way to many notes and it makes it sound like horse dung. Cut out a few of those hammer ons and just stick with the first part".

B: "You mean like this?"

A: "Yep, that's what I'm talking about"

Beautiful things come from constructive criticism sometimes.
 
I like how Starbucks called my mistakes "areas of opportunity." They were totally playing us by using that language, but it worked. My supervisor had a way of making you feel complimented while she was correcting. It definitely made it a positive experience.

I handle constructive criticism very well, because I judge myself harsher than anyone else ever could. The only time that I didn't take it well was last summer at a performance review. My over-correction to cover my insecurities had come across badly so I found out that my reputation at work was not at all what I was trying to achieve. That one just crushed me; thankfully I didn't start bawling until well after the review.
 
1. criticism offered for the purpose of helpful edification or otherwise intended to be growth. but i would also include in that definition any well-thought out criticism that has some truth in it.

2. criticism used to be somewhat hard for me to receive. when i was much younger i would often use it as a moment to convince them they're wrong. that doesn't go over terribly well. i'm not sure exactly what changed, but now i am rather open to it.

it makes me sad how many people bristle immediately at any well-intended feedback. even by those close to you.

i really appreciate constructive criticism--especially because of the work involved to give it. i don't get many chances to hear thoughtfully articulated feedback, or so it seems. perhaps because i work for myself, or because we as a society don't encourage it, but i miss it often.

feedback on work is exciting to me now. we are a lazy people--it takes a lot of work to give salubrious insight.

personally, i have two good guy pals who have taught me more about perceptions than almost everyone else combined. they have called me out on my baloney, told me when i was living in delusion, and rather unceremoniously shattered my comfort zone by telling me things i certainly didn't want to hear.

constructive criticism can be one of the best way for us to feel loved by someone. they see our ugliness and faults, mistakes and other goofiness, and still choose to love us in spite of it.
 
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I've only begun to be able to both listen to and accept constructive criticism from other people just a few years ago. And it all started with cutting out my inner pride, as well as discovering quite a few verses in the Bible (particularly Proverbs) which talks about the "blessings" of accepting correct rebukes (I know this thread is about accepting criticism, not necessarily receiving rebukes, but I think the same principles can and should be applied in both situations).

Here are a couple of those verses which state clearly that receiving righteous rebukes (or constructive criticisms) can actually make you a better and more complete person, and that the one who is actually giving you the rebuke (or constructive criticism) is through that very act demonstrating their love for you, rather than hiding it in silence, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" - Proverbs 27:5. May we joyfully receive proper criticisms and righteous rebukes from those who truly love us.

"Rebuke the discerning, and they will gain knowledge."
- Proverbs 19:25

"Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear."
- Proverbs 25:12

"It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools."
- Ecclesiastes 7:5

"Let the righteous one strike me - it is an act of faithful love; let him rebuke me - it is oil for my head; let me not refuse it."
- Psalm 141:5
 
lots of long answers. I think the key os the person giving does so with a desire to see you grow, learn and change for the better. granted other elements may come into play, but I think that is the foundation.
 
My Psych Prof says there is no such thing as Constructive Criticism.


She says Criticism by its very nature takes something away.


personally, I don't even know.
 
Liamson said:
My Psych Prof says there is no such thing as Constructive Criticism.


She says Criticism by its very nature takes something away.


personally, I don't even know.
Click to expand...

I agree with your professor. I've found that most people who offer "constructive criticism" are self-absorbed observers, not doers, who know very little of one's circumstances; rendering their offerings inapplicable and often more damaging than helpful.
 
Constructive criticism is constructive if it's done by someone who is judging rightly.
They must have a full grasp of all facts.
They must know every nuance, and they must be sensitive to the possible complexities of a situation.

If none of that exists, then all you have is a misinformed bloviator giving a highly uneducated and destructive opinion.
 
Descyple said:
I've only begun to be able to both listen to and accept constructive criticism from other people just a few years ago. And it all started with cutting out my inner pride, as well as discovering quite a few verses in the Bible (particularly Proverbs) which talks about the "blessings" of accepting correct rebukes (I know this thread is about accepting criticism, not necessarily receiving rebukes, but I think the same principles can and should be applied in both situations).

Here are a couple of those verses which state clearly that receiving righteous rebukes (or constructive criticisms) can actually make you a better and more complete person, and that the one who is actually giving you the rebuke (or constructive criticism) is through that very act demonstrating their love for you, rather than hiding it in silence, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love" - Proverbs 27:5. May we joyfully receive proper criticisms and righteous rebukes from those who truly love us.

"Rebuke the discerning, and they will gain knowledge."
- Proverbs 19:25

"Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is the rebuke of a wise judge to a listening ear."
- Proverbs 25:12

"It is better to heed the rebuke of a wise person than to listen to the song of fools."
- Ecclesiastes 7:5

"Let the righteous one strike me - it is an act of faithful love; let him rebuke me - it is oil for my head; let me not refuse it."
- Psalm 141:5
Click to expand...

I think a good rebuke IS constructive criticism..... We never want to "give it to 'em straight", but I've learned in raising my kids (both grown), that's usually the only way it works. Good word, my friend.:)
 
1still_waters said:
Constructive criticism is constructive if it's done by someone who is judging rightly.
They must have a full grasp of all facts.
They must know every nuance, and they must be sensitive to the possible complexities of a situation.

If none of that exists, then all you have is a misinformed bloviator giving a highly uneducated and destructive opinion.[/QUOTE]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamen :)
Click to expand...
 
Jullianna said:
I've found that most people who offer "constructive criticism" are self-absorbed observers, not doers, who know very little of one's circumstances; rendering their offerings inapplicable and often more damaging than helpful.
Click to expand...

i agree that there are the "outside observers" who seem eager to offer an opinion, usually without a full understanding of the facts and even know me that well -- and not exactly the group i was thinking of when i think of "constructive feedback".

for the most part, there are only two groups whose feedback i take seriously, and that is my clients at work, and my 'inner circle' of friends and family (and obviously, the feedback differs greatly).

i don't always accept or agree with their feedback, but i am grateful for it. : )
 
Jullianna said:
I agree with your professor. I've found that most people who offer "constructive criticism" are self-absorbed observers, not doers, who know very little of one's circumstances; rendering their offerings inapplicable and often more damaging than helpful.
Click to expand...


pretty much what I was going to say.
 
1still_waters said:
Constructive criticism is constructive if it's done by someone who is judging rightly.
They must have a full grasp of all facts.
They must know every nuance, and they must be sensitive to the possible complexities of a situation.

If none of that exists, then all you have is a misinformed bloviator giving a highly uneducated and destructive opinion.
Click to expand...

Is'zat wut you call'em? I thot they were called ADMINISTRATORS!:rolleyes::cool:;):p (yuck, yuck, yuck!)
 
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