My husband and I attended the same church for 7 years. The last two of that, the pastor was totally off track and never preached from the Bible, but from books he had read. I got really tired of it (So did many others who left). My husband wanted to stay, but I went to a church with another friend who had left, and the pastor was totally unbelievable. He just took a passage of scripture and would preach on it. Nothing about the ideas or books of men! Talk about being able to learn, understand and apply the Bible.
So I discussed it with my husband, and he didn't mind if I left the other church, where I was very involved in ministry. I took a break from ministry the first year. My husband also stopped going to church, until he came for an Easter production at the invitation of my friend. He never even went back to tell the pastor he was leaving.
My husband and I agree doctrinally on just about everything. Really, the two churches were both Baptist, very similar about doctrine. In the end, it was about the preaching, not even the music, which was my ministry as music director at the former church. And just better fellowship! Well, many of the members are my friends from the other church.
I think if you are not getting fed, you really do need to look around and find a church that feeds you. My personal feeling is that we are all responsible for our own walk with God. If you are not growing, spiritually dry, not being fed, you should not be afraid to go elsewhere. I do not regret that I changed churches, as I do believe God led me out of that valley of dry bones.
As far as male leadership, it really does depend on the people in the marriage. I am the one with the MDiv, and I am a chaplain. My husband is spiritually immature, although I do pray daily for him to grow, and find assurance in Christ. I love him very much, but I could never sacrifice my walk with God for him, and I don't think God would expect me to! Nor him, for that matter. He leads in the areas he is strong, and I have been able to gently lead from my areas of strength. I think that mutual submission (Eph. 5:21) implies that we compliment each other's strengths and weaknesses. That is the key to a successful marriage, but I don't want to get too deeply into it, as I am not interested in fighting with people over whether this is Biblical, because it is, in spite of what certain councils of male chauvinists would have you believe!