WHAT do 33-53 year old Christian singles do?

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DarlinNadia

Guest
#1
#1
What do SINGLE 33-53 year old Christians do? Where do you meet other singles?
I was thinking I'd like to go out and do something to make a presence somewhere... so I can meet a Godly man but I quickly realized I'm too old for the state fair, rollerskating, the bar, the car wash, the Billiards hall... etc

So where do I go?

Keep in mind I'm fat, lazy, and broke - so my ideal time is something that doesn't cost anything or require a great deal of exercise so no Hiking groups or Walk-a-thons...

Off Roading sounds fun but I don't have the 4X4 or ATV
Go-Carts sound like a blast - but the cost is crazy expensive

I don't drink alcohol so - wine tasting is out

I am fond of geeky, intelligent, well-spoken nerdy guys... but I would look like a moron to a mathlete

Divorce Support Group? This just seems like a bad idea

Browse every single church in the area???
 
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Ugly

Guest
#2
#2
Well, if your goal in going to a church is to meet a man, then perhaps you need to step back and rethink your priorities to begin with.

But as a 38 year old single guy with no money i have no clue myself. I just take it as i don't go places to meet someone, i just go where i want, and if i meet someone great. But then again i haven't dated anyone i haven't met online since i was 18. =P
 
Nautilus

Nautilus

Senior Member
#3
Jun 29, 2012
6,488
53
48
#3
You should enjoy the wonders of nature. Especially how wonderful it is that you can enjoy air conditioning and watch shows about it on tv.
 
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DarlinNadia

Guest
#4
#4
Ugly said:
Well, if your goal in going to a church is to meet a man, then perhaps you need to step back and rethink your priorities to begin with.

But as a 38 year old single guy with no money i have no clue myself. I just take it as i don't go places to meet someone, i just go where i want, and if i meet someone great. But then again i haven't dated anyone i haven't met online since i was 18. =P
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Actually Church is the last place I'd look for a guy. I'm just trying to figure out where people my age go.
 
J

ji

Guest
#5
#5
DarlinNadia said:
What do SINGLE 33-53 year old Christians do? Where do you meet other singles?
I was thinking I'd like to go out and do something to make a presence somewhere... so I can meet a Godly man but I quickly realized I'm too old for the state fair, rollerskating, the bar, the car wash, the Billiards hall... etc

So where do I go?


Keep in mind I'm fat, lazy, and broke - so my ideal time is something that doesn't cost anything or require a great deal of exercise so no Hiking groups or Walk-a-thons...

Off Roading sounds fun but I don't have the 4X4 or ATV
Go-Carts sound like a blast - but the cost is crazy expensive

I don't drink alcohol so - wine tasting is out

I am fond of geeky, intelligent, well-spoken nerdy guys... but I would look like a moron to a mathlete

Divorce Support Group? This just seems like a bad idea

Browse every single church in the area???
Click to expand...
lol,browse God.if you feel inferior to such a person before meeting that guy,then you should know he is also human..
i suggest browse God till you find result....age doesn't matter,but am not supposed to advise here since am younger and not experienced.But look for commitment,would do good.
 
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just_monicat

Senior Member
#6
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#6
i think your post makes the point that we all have things that "disadvantage" us in some way or another. while i don't have the same situation as you do, i certainly have my own obstacles.

for example, i work for myself, and so all my "co-workers" are in other states or at least, in other locations (usually). so, one of the main ways i met guys before, through my work (co-workers) is no longer a viable option.

we all have our own limiting factors.

to somewhat echo what ugly said, i don't live my life looking for ways to meet guys. i think that would be a very frustrating way to live.

i've known women who walk around with a look on their face that says i'm gonna go trap me a man!!! and i just throw up a little when i see that. is this how love begins?

if there are things that make you insecure about yourself or mess with your confidence, i would encourage you to work on them. it's hard to meet someone great when you don't feel as though you deserve someone great.

i have a philosophy that may or may not be of interest to you. i believe that one of the gifts of singleness is having the opportunity and space to work on myself and the issues/obstacles that might stand in the way of being the best version of myself. because i know who i'm looking for, i like to think i have a pretty clear idea of the kind of woman he'd be attracted to.

ironically, the path to becoming the best version of myself is rather parallel to growing in faith and dying to self.

my goal has always been to meet someone on the path to a better version of myself.

further, i live my life according to what i like to do, what i need to do, and what i ought to do. meaning, most of the guys i've met (aside from a few introductions) are just coincidentally around where i am.

as it turns out, i do enjoy volunteering, taking classes, bible studies, and other socially driven activities that seem to provide a means of meeting others, guys included.

i also live my life with my head up, my phone in my purse and usually, a smile on my face. i'm not hiding in the corner, or talking on my cellphone pushing a grocery cart. i am friendly, introduce myself to someone sitting near me that i don't know, and try to meet new people rather than clinging to the two folks that i do know. and i try to meet women and men.

i think a lot of people who don't meet the opposite sex sometimes aren't really "available" when they have an opportunity to meet someone.

if i was trying to meet a guy, i would probably get more involved in some of the volunteer, learning, and social events that area available in my community, my church, and the like.

but most of all, i would go places, do things and focus on activities that i enjoy.
 
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DarlinNadia

Guest
#7
#7
I am actually quite happy being single most of the time. Tonight driving home, I felt loneliness and I realized that I cannot fall back on my old ways. Which led to my question "What do Christians... in my age group" do? Do they read? Do they go to exercise groups? Honestly i do not know. I do not have a huge social life, I don't care to have one either. The problem is... much like you mentioned... when I AM out and about... do I appear UNAVAILABLE? yes... most likely I do.

It will take an act of God... a Miracle... for a man to pull me out of single status... Recognizing this, I wondered what *I* can do to be more willing to venture into the dating scene... Perhaps it was a rhetorical question.. not needing an answer because I'm not likely to make any big changes to what God has transformed me into, but I am realizing that if I do decide to really meet someone... I can no longer visit my old stomping grounds... those were sinful ways and a sinful lifestyle.. not something I want or need in my life... also not producing the type of man I would desire.

I was with the same guy for a very long time ..so I have pretty much been out of the dating scene since 1997. That was a long long time ago. What worked then, simply will not do Now.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#8
#8
I've always avoided 'the dating scene'. My preference is just to wait til someone catches my attention and get to know them and become friends. This way i don't have to approach strangers, go on awkward dates, etc... And if we do end up dating we already know each other and the dating is more serious because we've taken time to get to know each other as friends first. So we already know that we're compatible in the needed areas.



monicat ... about the women looking to 'trap a man', i see them on CC. That's why in my chat room PM message i say 'i'm not looking for a wife or girlfriend'. In reality i would love to, but i find this helps keep the desperate people away who PM every single guy in the room hoping to stumble on one that clicks. I've had some who are very obviously on a mad search for a mate and try to get around that i say i'm not looking, even though they don't even know me.
I want to have a real connection with someone, not be a treated like a gamble.
 
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parablepete

Guest
#9
#9
Go to the coffee shop, book stoore, shows, church, weddings, funerals.

A lot of people meet in bars. Hows that for getting to know someone.

I want you all know I am not a catfish 0.o This pulls at my heart because I have two kids and a nephew in the same boat as you all and I want to help them.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#10
#10
You're on here suggesting people go to bars and funerals to meet people? Funerals? Really?
 
Shawn2516

Shawn2516

Senior Member
#11
Dec 20, 2013
154
1
0
#11
hahahahaha funerals!

Awww to bad he died.. he's with the Lord now. Heeeey whats your number?
 
J

ji

Guest
#12
#12
DarlinNadia said:
I am actually quite happy being single most of the time. Tonight driving home, I felt loneliness and I realized that I cannot fall back on my old ways. Which led to my question "What do Christians... in my age group" do? Do they read? Do they go to exercise groups? Honestly i do not know. I do not have a huge social life, I don't care to have one either. The problem is... much like you mentioned... when I AM out and about... do I appear UNAVAILABLE? yes... most likely I do.

It will take an act of God... a Miracle... for a man to pull me out of single status... Recognizing this, I wondered what *I* can do to be more willing to venture into the dating scene... Perhaps it was a rhetorical question.. not needing an answer because I'm not likely to make any big changes to what God has transformed me into, but I am realizing that if I do decide to really meet someone... I can no longer visit my old stomping grounds... those were sinful ways and a sinful lifestyle.. not something I want or need in my life... also not producing the type of man I would desire.

I was with the same guy for a very long time ..so I have pretty much been out of the dating scene since 1997. That was a long long time ago. What worked then, simply will not do Now.
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you are one simple straight talking woman among the many i have seen,...wait upon the Lord God,because if 'He' gave the desire,He will accomplish it:)
 
Fenner

Fenner

Senior Member
#13
Jan 26, 2013
7,507
111
0
#13
You could try having a game night. Have a few friends over ask them to bring a snack to share and play games. My friends and I do that a lot. It's a fun inexpensive night. The kids are even there.
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah

Guest
#14
#14
I read......then live vicariously through the characters.
 
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just_monicat

Senior Member
#15
Jan 1, 2014
1,284
17
0
#15
Ugly said:
You're on here suggesting people go to bars and funerals to meet people? Funerals? Really?
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Shawn2516 said:
hahahahaha funerals!

Awww to bad he died.. he's with the Lord now. Heeeey whats your number?
Click to expand...
this is the problem. you all are thinking of these places as "meeting opportunities for singles". the funny thing is, i know someone who met his girlfriend at an all-church memorial service.

in theory, a funeral gathering is potentially a great place to meet a guy (or gal). a

but don't go there for the express purpose of meeting someone. you go there because it's something you think you should (or want) to do. most memorials and the like have some period of fellowship.

i wouldn't be opposed to meeting some guy there. but that would be a happy coincidence, not the motivation for going. what are you going to say? i can't meet you now, because it's a funeral. so let's wait until we bump into each other again...

it's unrealistic that anyone is going to meet someone hanging out at home and avoiding social opportunities. you actually have to leave your house.
 
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Ugly

Guest
#16
#16
just_monicat said:
this is the problem. you all are thinking of these places as "meeting opportunities for singles". the funny thing is, i know someone who met his girlfriend at an all-church memorial service.
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Actually that wasn't what i said. I said 'meet PEOPLE' not 'meet a mate'. Because the OP question isn't about meeting a mate, but about things to do as a single in an older age bracket.
 
zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#17
Aug 2, 2009
24,641
4,300
113
#17
What you can do is the next time you see a guy that you'd like to know better just walk up to him and say, I know we just met and this is crazy but here's my number so call me maybe. And if he looks at you like you're nuts just walk on and keep singing like nothing happened :D
 
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BananaPie

Guest
#18
#18
As for funerals, the true story is that during the 9/11 funerals, this one grieving guy was seated next to this one grieving girl, and the two comforted each other during their parents' funerals. These two eventually kept in touch, and a few years later ended up marrying each other.

I totally can appreciate mushy true stories like this. :)
 
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DarlinNadia

Guest
#19
#19
Ugly said:
in an older age bracket.
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YIKES, I'm in an older age bracket


lol Honestly I'm over it today. Yesterday was one of those days that come every other week when I initially drop off my daughter for visitation. The Drive home is always the most lonely time because I have a 3-hour drive home alone in the dark. Plus it's a Friday night... Without fail it seems to happen every time. The next day (today) I'm good again.
 
CatHerder

CatHerder

Senior Member
#20
Mar 20, 2013
3,551
79
48
#20
parablepete said:
Go to the coffee shop, book stoore, shows, church, weddings, funerals.

A lot of people meet in bars. Hows that for getting to know someone.

I want you all know I am not a catfish 0.o This pulls at my heart because I have two kids and a nephew in the same boat as you all and I want to help them.
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Ugly said:
You're on here suggesting people go to bars and funerals to meet people? Funerals? Really?
Click to expand...
so if I drink at a funeral, do I double my chances of meeting someone?
 
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