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John's First Epistle speaks in chapter 1 about fellowship with those who walk in the light. "Truly our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ".
Paul says: "If anyone is in Christ, he is is a new creature; old things are passed way; behold, all things are become new" (2 Corinthians 5.17).
Blessings.
Paul says: "If anyone is in Christ, he is is a new creature; old things are passed way; behold, all things are become new" (2 Corinthians 5.17).
Blessings.
yeah, it is normal to feel lonely but I would encourage you to try to make some Christian friends and find a Church that can help you connect with people. you are right that you can't hang out with your old friends all the time if they are doing things that as a Christ-follower you no longer should be doing. don't give up dude, it will get better.
R
We're creatures of relationship by design. Both designed to be in relationship with other people, and with God. So yeah, I think it's natural that if you're spending less time with your mates as a by-product of drawing closer to God you'd feel lonely. Jesus is the man, and definitely should be our primary relationship, but that doesn't mean we can live in isolation; we weren't made that way.
So yeah, short answer yes, it is normal if drawing closer to Jesus means spending less time with people. But drawing close to Jesus is always what we should start with. Everything else works itself out pretty awesomely through that relationship if we make it our focus. I know it's hard when you're first making new friends and giving up aspects of your everyday relational social life... but Jesus is the diggity... the bomb-diggity in fact and worth every pain it takes to seriously get to know him
Take heart, draw close to Christ and everything else will be added to it in his time and way.
God bless sister.
So yeah, short answer yes, it is normal if drawing closer to Jesus means spending less time with people. But drawing close to Jesus is always what we should start with. Everything else works itself out pretty awesomely through that relationship if we make it our focus. I know it's hard when you're first making new friends and giving up aspects of your everyday relational social life... but Jesus is the diggity... the bomb-diggity in fact and worth every pain it takes to seriously get to know him
Take heart, draw close to Christ and everything else will be added to it in his time and way. God bless sister.
Just wanted to mention a couple of things: Jesus was criticized for hanging around with the publicans and sinners of His day. He constantly associated with the poor and "downtrodden" of that society. No where in the NT does Jesus ever say that Christians should avoid these particular associations. If you feel your strength of faith is strong enough there is nothing wrong with you associating with old friends and demonstrating before them that your language is changed, your temperament is changed and that now you have become a Man/Woman of God. But if it will challenge you to remain faithful in Jesus, then by all means you should avoid your old contacts and their activities. Family is blood relations, and no matter what happens you should always endeavor to maintain those relationships. And family is often much harsher on you about changing and becoming a better person than all your friends, and even strangers, ever were. They know exactly how to criticize you and get under your skin better than anyone else. And it is difficult for me to say, but you should consider yourself abolished from the world but alive with Jesus Christ. You now think on a higher level of consciousness, live on a higher plane, have fellowship with both men AND angels and Love is now the driving force in your life.
And you should start reading the word of God, and praying for His help in understanding it. Just start at the beginning and read. When you get to the genealogies, just read them. When you get to the sacrifices, just read through them quickly. It will be much later before you will begin to ascertain their significance. Your main goal is to simply to read the word, cover to cover, and not labor over strange or difficult passages this first time through. This in itself will give you a foundation which can never be shaken. Then later you can read it again and begin to pick up on those strange and difficult passages. As time goes on and you study and pray for help, things will start to enlighten you. Such things will not magically appear, it takes time.
And you are now a Man/Woman of God( I haven't read your profile), so no matter what church you attend or what they teach you must not let them influence your understanding of God's word. You have to step up and maintain your individualilty, no matter what they may say or how they may treat you.
I am convinced that it is not loneliness that you are feeling. I am convinced that you are feeling more and more unfulfilled by the life you once lived, as well as the life you have now chosen.
To find more fulfillment in your new life, pray more often, sing praises to God and learn new songs more often, commit foundational verses to memory; such as Jn 3:16, Ps 100, Ps 103 and others. Recite them in your mind. Contemplate upon certain passages, etc.
Find a group of folks you are comfortable being around, and enjoy their company. Don't get into deep discussions, or arguments, or debates with them. Keep your ears open, your mind attenuative, and your mouth shut about things you do not yet have your own understanding about.
Sorry for sounding preachy, but just wanted to give you some things that helped me in my past to help drag me out of a sort of depression that comes about by drastic changes in world views and philosophies and behaviors of my own.
May God bless you and keep you and may His countenance shine upon you and give you peace. M
And you should start reading the word of God, and praying for His help in understanding it. Just start at the beginning and read. When you get to the genealogies, just read them. When you get to the sacrifices, just read through them quickly. It will be much later before you will begin to ascertain their significance. Your main goal is to simply to read the word, cover to cover, and not labor over strange or difficult passages this first time through. This in itself will give you a foundation which can never be shaken. Then later you can read it again and begin to pick up on those strange and difficult passages. As time goes on and you study and pray for help, things will start to enlighten you. Such things will not magically appear, it takes time.
And you are now a Man/Woman of God( I haven't read your profile), so no matter what church you attend or what they teach you must not let them influence your understanding of God's word. You have to step up and maintain your individualilty, no matter what they may say or how they may treat you.
I am convinced that it is not loneliness that you are feeling. I am convinced that you are feeling more and more unfulfilled by the life you once lived, as well as the life you have now chosen.
To find more fulfillment in your new life, pray more often, sing praises to God and learn new songs more often, commit foundational verses to memory; such as Jn 3:16, Ps 100, Ps 103 and others. Recite them in your mind. Contemplate upon certain passages, etc.
Find a group of folks you are comfortable being around, and enjoy their company. Don't get into deep discussions, or arguments, or debates with them. Keep your ears open, your mind attenuative, and your mouth shut about things you do not yet have your own understanding about.
Sorry for sounding preachy, but just wanted to give you some things that helped me in my past to help drag me out of a sort of depression that comes about by drastic changes in world views and philosophies and behaviors of my own.
May God bless you and keep you and may His countenance shine upon you and give you peace. M
3
Hi cara26
I don't know if normal is the word, but I believe what you are feeling is the deep need for filling the void in your life. The void that only God can fill. That is good that you have made changes in your social activity. The bible states that we are not to forsake the gathering of God's people. Fellowship is a great gift that God has given to us to use, and if used properly we will grow in our faith and confidence in Christ. I would suggest that you get involved with a local church in your area if you are not already. That way you will be hanging out with like minded people and that will strengthen you a lot.
God bless
I don't know if normal is the word, but I believe what you are feeling is the deep need for filling the void in your life. The void that only God can fill. That is good that you have made changes in your social activity. The bible states that we are not to forsake the gathering of God's people. Fellowship is a great gift that God has given to us to use, and if used properly we will grow in our faith and confidence in Christ. I would suggest that you get involved with a local church in your area if you are not already. That way you will be hanging out with like minded people and that will strengthen you a lot.
God bless
Actually, in my opinion, it is not normal to feel alone THE MORE one follows Jesus...........the further down the path one travels with Christ, the LESS alone they should feel. This is one of the main reasons for the Church, for the entire Body of Believers, to unite in Christian Fellowship, to encourage one another, to support, to assist, and to grow in Christ.
Yes, there is a "transition" period from "first saved" when we turn from our old lives to our new, but if we earnestly seek out Christian Fellowship, we will find a loving Christian family of believers to replace the relationships of the past.
God bless...........
Yes, there is a "transition" period from "first saved" when we turn from our old lives to our new, but if we earnestly seek out Christian Fellowship, we will find a loving Christian family of believers to replace the relationships of the past.
God bless...........
C
Thanks Mindwrencher for your wise words
I really enjoyed reading your reply and really appreciate your advice
When you said your convinced that I'm feeling unfulfilled by the life I once lived , I believe that describes what I'm experiencing at the moment. I'm kinda like "what do I do now?"...
I've recently chosen not to associate with some old friends because of their ways as I don't agree with how they live their lives. (This also includes a failed relationship with a partner I was with for 5 years.) I find that their restless behaviour is disturbing to me. If that makes sense. Its harder to get myself right by having distractions and "downtrodden" influences around me. I don't want to be around it. Not that I think I'm better but I just want to protect myself.
Lately I've had a lot of time to reflect and think about things and especially about my life and a lot of changes have happened and I guess I'm still adjusting to it all that's why I'm feeling this way.
But I know I need to get myself involved in a church this is my next step I need to take to fellowship with other Christians that can encourage me. Its been so long since I last went to church. I've always believed in Jesus as I was raised as a Christian as a child and went to church but when I got older I drifted away from him and lived my life by my rules not Gods rules, Jesus has been always reminded me of him tho and he has brought me back to him and to follow him, and I'm so grateful for that because living life with out him is so hard!
I really enjoyed reading your reply and really appreciate your advice
When you said your convinced that I'm feeling unfulfilled by the life I once lived , I believe that describes what I'm experiencing at the moment. I'm kinda like "what do I do now?"...
I've recently chosen not to associate with some old friends because of their ways as I don't agree with how they live their lives. (This also includes a failed relationship with a partner I was with for 5 years.) I find that their restless behaviour is disturbing to me. If that makes sense. Its harder to get myself right by having distractions and "downtrodden" influences around me. I don't want to be around it. Not that I think I'm better but I just want to protect myself.
Lately I've had a lot of time to reflect and think about things and especially about my life and a lot of changes have happened and I guess I'm still adjusting to it all that's why I'm feeling this way.
But I know I need to get myself involved in a church this is my next step I need to take to fellowship with other Christians that can encourage me. Its been so long since I last went to church. I've always believed in Jesus as I was raised as a Christian as a child and went to church but when I got older I drifted away from him and lived my life by my rules not Gods rules, Jesus has been always reminded me of him tho and he has brought me back to him and to follow him, and I'm so grateful for that because living life with out him is so hard!
C
Thanks brother
I believe god is working in me all for the good in the end. I feel so much at peace already , the sacrifices I've made have made a huge difference already in my life, they truly have.
I feel each day I'm getting stronger I know there is still changes I have to do I'm not fully there yet and am still a working progress. My response to Mindwrencher explains a little more about probably why I feel this way.
Im going to keep pressing into God and keep asking him to help me overcome this feeling.
Thanks again for your encouraging words means a lot!
I believe god is working in me all for the good in the end. I feel so much at peace already , the sacrifices I've made have made a huge difference already in my life, they truly have.
I feel each day I'm getting stronger I know there is still changes I have to do I'm not fully there yet and am still a working progress. My response to Mindwrencher explains a little more about probably why I feel this way.
Im going to keep pressing into God and keep asking him to help me overcome this feeling.
Thanks again for your encouraging words means a lot!
J
It's wonderful to read about what God is doing in your life, cara.
There are times when we go through tremendously accelerated periods of spiritual growth. It sure seems like this is one of those season for you. Praise God! During those seasons it is good to withdraw from negative influences. Even Jesus withdrew from time to time.
I do pray you find a place of fellowship with other believers. Let God lead you to a place where you will be encouraged, fed rightly with the Word, and be used to encourage others and lead them to the Lord as well.
There comes a time when God leads us to step out in faith and share the gospel with unbelievers, many of whom may be old friends. The thing to remember is that oftentimes it is the amazingly drastic change that God makes in us and our lives that is the strongest witness to former friends/family members.
I pray you will soak up the Word of God like a sponge and that the Spirit of God will be strong in you, and will lead/guide you. I trust that He will. It's what He does.
Welcome to CC! God bless you
There are times when we go through tremendously accelerated periods of spiritual growth. It sure seems like this is one of those season for you. Praise God! During those seasons it is good to withdraw from negative influences. Even Jesus withdrew from time to time.
I do pray you find a place of fellowship with other believers. Let God lead you to a place where you will be encouraged, fed rightly with the Word, and be used to encourage others and lead them to the Lord as well.
There comes a time when God leads us to step out in faith and share the gospel with unbelievers, many of whom may be old friends. The thing to remember is that oftentimes it is the amazingly drastic change that God makes in us and our lives that is the strongest witness to former friends/family members.
I pray you will soak up the Word of God like a sponge and that the Spirit of God will be strong in you, and will lead/guide you. I trust that He will. It's what He does.
Welcome to CC! God bless you
L
Speaking from personal experience, when I got saved I moved to a new city and started going to a wonderful church. I got married (the ultimate battle for loneliness right??) and started trying to serve Christ.
I was SO, SO, ALONE! I found that I couldn't even follow Christ like I wanted to--and I really wanted to! I just found myself without direction and with a lot of failure on my hands. I was trying to know God better and follow Christ better but I just could not seem to make the changes in my heart and in my life that I knew needed to be made.
I ended up at a lifegroup to support me during some of my marriage's hardest times (my husband's battle with pornography). This lifegroup was what saved my life. The people in it weren't even people I would have picked as "friends" if it were an option! We were all SO different....but God used our fellowship to shape one another into beautiful, gracious women of God. Their strength and accountability, their wisdom and support-- they changed my life.
I know understand how important it is to get connected with small groups from a Spirit-led church. Small groups ARE the church. Church is about fellowship---Iron sharpening iron. Serving each other and the community. It's a beautiful thing.
It takes time, but it also takes effort
I was SO, SO, ALONE! I found that I couldn't even follow Christ like I wanted to--and I really wanted to! I just found myself without direction and with a lot of failure on my hands. I was trying to know God better and follow Christ better but I just could not seem to make the changes in my heart and in my life that I knew needed to be made.
I ended up at a lifegroup to support me during some of my marriage's hardest times (my husband's battle with pornography). This lifegroup was what saved my life. The people in it weren't even people I would have picked as "friends" if it were an option! We were all SO different....but God used our fellowship to shape one another into beautiful, gracious women of God. Their strength and accountability, their wisdom and support-- they changed my life.
I know understand how important it is to get connected with small groups from a Spirit-led church. Small groups ARE the church. Church is about fellowship---Iron sharpening iron. Serving each other and the community. It's a beautiful thing.
It takes time, but it also takes effort
Speaking from personal experience, when I got saved I moved to a new city and started going to a wonderful church. I got married (the ultimate battle for loneliness right??) and started trying to serve Christ.
I was SO, SO, ALONE! I found that I couldn't even follow Christ like I wanted to--and I really wanted to! I just found myself without direction and with a lot of failure on my hands. I was trying to know God better and follow Christ better but I just could not seem to make the changes in my heart and in my life that I knew needed to be made.
I ended up at a lifegroup to support me during some of my marriage's hardest times (my husband's battle with pornography). This lifegroup was what saved my life. The people in it weren't even people I would have picked as "friends" if it were an option! We were all SO different....but God used our fellowship to shape one another into beautiful, gracious women of God. Their strength and accountability, their wisdom and support-- they changed my life.
I know understand how important it is to get connected with small groups from a Spirit-led church. Small groups ARE the church. Church is about fellowship---Iron sharpening iron. Serving each other and the community. It's a beautiful thing.
It takes time, but it also takes effort
I was SO, SO, ALONE! I found that I couldn't even follow Christ like I wanted to--and I really wanted to! I just found myself without direction and with a lot of failure on my hands. I was trying to know God better and follow Christ better but I just could not seem to make the changes in my heart and in my life that I knew needed to be made.
I ended up at a lifegroup to support me during some of my marriage's hardest times (my husband's battle with pornography). This lifegroup was what saved my life. The people in it weren't even people I would have picked as "friends" if it were an option! We were all SO different....but God used our fellowship to shape one another into beautiful, gracious women of God. Their strength and accountability, their wisdom and support-- they changed my life.
I know understand how important it is to get connected with small groups from a Spirit-led church. Small groups ARE the church. Church is about fellowship---Iron sharpening iron. Serving each other and the community. It's a beautiful thing.
It takes time, but it also takes effort
Blessings.
A
I gave my life to the Lord 20 months ago. Prior to that, I had 'friends' in the metal scene, 'gamer' friends, drinking friends, work friends, University friends and basically 'friends' for every need. So I thought. Then I came to the Lord and I realised that I wanted more than the life I was living. The kind of things I was doing with these people seemed fruitless and warred against the new desires emerging from inside. But I was still operating in old behaviours out of habit, and stumbled hard for the first six months after my conversion. I found it hard to say 'no' to so many things I did with the people I was around, and it impacted my walk.
Finally, I just let go of all those people, set my heart on the Lord, and got connected to a church of 15 people. The only thing is, it was the wrong church full of religious people. They exalted themselves as some church that offered the only way, all other churches were evil, the world was evil, everyone else was evil. For awhile there, I was starting to get pretty scared of everyone else. It took awhile, but I recently left that church. I only left it several weeks ago without saying a word.
Thankfully I have one friend from another church I had previously visited awhile ago. Apart from her, my parents (although church going Christians) poke fun at me and mock my walk and new life style, my brother has started a new life and has distanced himself from the family, and when I do see him, he always has a pained expression and feels the need to defend his life style he has chosen (Even when I say nothing at all).
So when I see the word 'alone', man, I can feel it. I'm looking at my situation, and having a Peter on the water moment, I look at my feet and I start sinking. This sucks.
But. Buuuut....
This is the make or break moment. My baggage and insecurities are surfacing, my deepest fears are rising to my eyeballs, its right in front of me like size 200 font arial black in bold: "I don't have control." My defense mechanisms and human abilities are not going to save me now. I'm scared of reaching out and receiving what Jesus is giving me because I'm scared of not being my own. I've prayed 'God, I am completely yours' so many times, but do I really live my life like I am His? No. I'm still trying to save myself. Or I want someone else to save me because I've realised I fail at it.
Meanwhile, a line from Hosea has been plaguing me. “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and l bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her," Hosea 2:14. Another translation for 'wilderness' is 'desert' and notice how both of them imply a lack of life forms? It feels like a relational desert. I have no other choice but to trust God, I have no other choice but to take His hand and allow Him to do I mighty work in my heart. I can't run anymore.
He wants me to be completely His because He loves me and He knows what's best for me. He knows I can be easily distracted and that I want other people's opinions on my walk and progress to make sure someone is approving what I am doing. (To a degree, yes, this can be helpful, I guess) But all that matters is what He thinks and what He says I am. I can't look to the left, or to the right, I have to keep my eyes on Him.
This 'alone' is scary. This is completely out of my comfort zone, but this is an opportunity of a life time. It is an opportunity to go deeper with the God I most love, to gain a deeper understanding of His love for me, His joy and delight in me. There is a hole in this heart I am trying to put barriers around, and all He wants to do is fill that emptiness with Himself. There is a frightening silence washing over me, there is no life form breaking the flatness over the horizon, but maybe this is where I need to be so I can hear the words that are coming over me softly.
I've recently been connected to a new church, but being so new, all relationships are still surface level. So know, you're not alone in feeling alone. (I know, I talk about myself so much)
Finally, I just let go of all those people, set my heart on the Lord, and got connected to a church of 15 people. The only thing is, it was the wrong church full of religious people. They exalted themselves as some church that offered the only way, all other churches were evil, the world was evil, everyone else was evil. For awhile there, I was starting to get pretty scared of everyone else. It took awhile, but I recently left that church. I only left it several weeks ago without saying a word.
Thankfully I have one friend from another church I had previously visited awhile ago. Apart from her, my parents (although church going Christians) poke fun at me and mock my walk and new life style, my brother has started a new life and has distanced himself from the family, and when I do see him, he always has a pained expression and feels the need to defend his life style he has chosen (Even when I say nothing at all).
So when I see the word 'alone', man, I can feel it. I'm looking at my situation, and having a Peter on the water moment, I look at my feet and I start sinking. This sucks.
But. Buuuut....
This is the make or break moment. My baggage and insecurities are surfacing, my deepest fears are rising to my eyeballs, its right in front of me like size 200 font arial black in bold: "I don't have control." My defense mechanisms and human abilities are not going to save me now. I'm scared of reaching out and receiving what Jesus is giving me because I'm scared of not being my own. I've prayed 'God, I am completely yours' so many times, but do I really live my life like I am His? No. I'm still trying to save myself. Or I want someone else to save me because I've realised I fail at it.
Meanwhile, a line from Hosea has been plaguing me. “Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and l bring her into the wilderness, And speak comfort to her," Hosea 2:14. Another translation for 'wilderness' is 'desert' and notice how both of them imply a lack of life forms? It feels like a relational desert. I have no other choice but to trust God, I have no other choice but to take His hand and allow Him to do I mighty work in my heart. I can't run anymore.
He wants me to be completely His because He loves me and He knows what's best for me. He knows I can be easily distracted and that I want other people's opinions on my walk and progress to make sure someone is approving what I am doing. (To a degree, yes, this can be helpful, I guess) But all that matters is what He thinks and what He says I am. I can't look to the left, or to the right, I have to keep my eyes on Him.
This 'alone' is scary. This is completely out of my comfort zone, but this is an opportunity of a life time. It is an opportunity to go deeper with the God I most love, to gain a deeper understanding of His love for me, His joy and delight in me. There is a hole in this heart I am trying to put barriers around, and all He wants to do is fill that emptiness with Himself. There is a frightening silence washing over me, there is no life form breaking the flatness over the horizon, but maybe this is where I need to be so I can hear the words that are coming over me softly.
I've recently been connected to a new church, but being so new, all relationships are still surface level. So know, you're not alone in feeling alone. (I know, I talk about myself so much)
K
Disconnecting and isolating ourselves is a strategy that dooms us to failure. Typically, when a person isolates himself, he becomes his own adviser, and that usually dooms him to receive faulty advice.
Read Proverbs 18:24 in several translations (New Living Translation, King James Version, and New International Version). Each version gives a slightly different perspective about friendship.
• The KJV encourages each of us to seek friends by reaching out and being friendly.
• The NIV encourages us to find a close friend who would be closer than a natural brother.
• The NLT says there are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
The important point is to connect with others who will be true friends and provide support and care when needed.
GOD’S TRUTH FOR EACH OTHER
I invite you to pull out a Bible and take a moment to let God’s Word sink in.
Here are some convincing scriptures that God’s way is for us to work with one another and be there for one another— connected—as we seek healing. Look at God’s truth:
• Romans 12:5 tells us to depend on each other as one body in Christ.
• Romans 12:15 tells us to weep with each other, when we often just want to weep alone.
• Romans 15:14 tells us to counsel and teach each other, when we want to just wait and hear from God.
• 1 Corinthians 12:25 tells us to care for each other.
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage and build each other up.
• Ephesians 4:2 tells us to uphold each other, when we try to act like we don’t need anyone.
• Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit to each other, meaning you are to do more than just submit to God.
• Hebrews 10:24 tells us to stir up love in each other and share it.
• 1 Peter 4:10 tells us to minister to each other, so God’s generosity is shared.
• James 5:16 tells us to tell each other what we have done wrong—then we can experience healing.
• Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear each other’s burdens, when all we want to do is take them to God.
"Arterburn, Stephen (2011-11-08). Healing Is a Choice: Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition."
Read Proverbs 18:24 in several translations (New Living Translation, King James Version, and New International Version). Each version gives a slightly different perspective about friendship.
• The KJV encourages each of us to seek friends by reaching out and being friendly.
• The NIV encourages us to find a close friend who would be closer than a natural brother.
• The NLT says there are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
The important point is to connect with others who will be true friends and provide support and care when needed.
GOD’S TRUTH FOR EACH OTHER
I invite you to pull out a Bible and take a moment to let God’s Word sink in.
Here are some convincing scriptures that God’s way is for us to work with one another and be there for one another— connected—as we seek healing. Look at God’s truth:
• Romans 12:5 tells us to depend on each other as one body in Christ.
• Romans 12:15 tells us to weep with each other, when we often just want to weep alone.
• Romans 15:14 tells us to counsel and teach each other, when we want to just wait and hear from God.
• 1 Corinthians 12:25 tells us to care for each other.
• 1 Thessalonians 5:11 tells us to encourage and build each other up.
• Ephesians 4:2 tells us to uphold each other, when we try to act like we don’t need anyone.
• Ephesians 5:21 tells us to submit to each other, meaning you are to do more than just submit to God.
• Hebrews 10:24 tells us to stir up love in each other and share it.
• 1 Peter 4:10 tells us to minister to each other, so God’s generosity is shared.
• James 5:16 tells us to tell each other what we have done wrong—then we can experience healing.
• Galatians 6:2 tells us to bear each other’s burdens, when all we want to do is take them to God.
"Arterburn, Stephen (2011-11-08). Healing Is a Choice: Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition."