So, tired of singleness

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Jyten

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Basically the title says it all. I need to rely on God more so that He can fill me up with His unending love and power.

2 Corinthians 12:10
Philippians 4:13
[h=3]2 Peter 1:3[/h]
How do you all continue to do this?

I've been a christian since I was five and I've served in the church in on manner or another for the last 10-15 years. I read my Bible daily and I fast whenever God calls me or I deem the situation necessary (in this case I believe its God inspired). I have great friends in accountability, a good relationship with my parents and I'm trying to rebuild a relationship with my new pastor. The only reason my relationship my pastor isn't better is he's new and my old pastor left to lead another church far away and I'm trying to get to know this new pastor. I probably talk to God everyday or at least every other day. At most I might miss for 3 days. I do argue with more than I should. I might be crazy but I do believe I hear God talk back to me when I talk to Him. I don't always hear Him clearly on all subjects though.

I dislike being single. I believe this is stealing my joy. I tend to ask out a girl maybe every 2 years in person? Takes me time to know the girl before I want to make that jump. So, far I'm 0 - and a lot. I've done online dating, asked out about 400 women and got turned down about 394 times. The six women I did get dates with never wanted it to go further though except one but it couldn't work out. I'm also trying to figure out what I even want in a companion or what God wants me to want if that makes sense?

I want to be married but I do know that it's all in God's timing. My fear is not the waiting to be married but the fear of never being married. Which again is totally up to God because I am now and forever His. I know I should only want only God but I want more and I'm not sure how to kill this desire.

To be fair I'm not the best looking person in the world but hopefully not the worst. I believe that physical appearances will be less important as time goes on anyway. I'd say I'm in pretty good shape, no fat, starting to get more muscles. I make good family man money which is odd for me since I have no family end up giving a lot of the money away. I try and always help the least of these. And I know my true treasure is in heaven. But honestly, if it were up to me I'd kill myself and get to the good part. The only thing holding me back is that is suicide is a sin and God wants me to be here. God's my absolute best friend in the whole world and I don't want to make Him sad.

I have a lot of amazing friends and they keep telling me to just stay faithful and keep my eyes on Jesus. Maybe I just needed to write everything out and look at it. I'm not sure my spirit is very tired. Walking with Christ isn't all flowers and rainbows but I feel like I've been in the trenches for over a decade, occasionally peeking out. Jesus always gives me just enough though to make it through the day, but sometimes it's barely enough.

I know this all has to do with having incorrect expectations and not loving God enough.

tl;dr - Fighting the good fight empowered by God is exciting and fulfilling when you are empowered by God. When you are not, it's horrid. I guess I just need prayer for Jesus to keep giving me his unending love. Hebrews 12:2
 
There's always pain in waiting but God's timing is always perfect, never early, never late, just on time. Just have faith and a little patience. The best will be yours.
 
Before I was born again, I dated girls from the world i.e. not saved, which didn't work out well... when I got saved, I dated a "christian" (religious) girl, worked out worse... Finding a true born again christian girl would be very hard... not Impossible, for with God, nothing is impossible. So I'm single now as well, just like you are, I prefer this state rather than being dragged down (away) from Christ by girls either not saved or into religion and having a good time...

I'm praying for a born again christian girl, but if I'm not spiritually matured enough, how am I supposed to be the head of the family? If I can't protect myself from the wolves, how am I supposed to protect them? "But seek first of all His Kingdom and His righteousness, and then all these things taken together will be given you besides" - Matthew 6:33
 
I forgot to add, there is also a faithful remnant belonging to God which haven't bend the knee to baal (symbol of the god of the world), from which I am one and others also, so there are born again christians at specific locations.
 
Humble1 said:
I'm praying for a born again christian girl, but if I'm not spiritually matured enough, how am I supposed to be the head of the family? If I can't protect myself from the wolves, how am I supposed to protect them? "But seek first of all His Kingdom and His righteousness, and then all these things taken together will be given you besides" - Matthew 6:33
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I think it's a bit dangerous to go down the line of thinking that you need to be "mature" enough in order to get a wife.

I think the point of maturity is not so that I can get all the desires of my heart but rather that I can get more Jesus. If then Jesus decides to give me a wife then praise him! If not then still praise him because I got what I was seeking. I seek Jesus for more Jesus. I don't seek Jesus and his kingdom so I can get stuff. I seek Jesus and his kingdom because I love him.

My issue is I'm just trying to love him so much that the rest of my desires fade away. But I can't atm. But thank you for your kind encouragement.

Also, should I even be waiting?
 
The loneliness can be overwhelming at times. Just remember that God is always with you. He will see to it that you find her when you are ready. Not when "you" think you are ready. If you are still struggling with knowing what you want in a woman, than you are not yet ready to receive her. Spend copious amounts of time in meditation and prayer about it. In doing so you will find your answers. I will keep you in my prayers. Wish you the best in all that you do. God bless.
 
Hello....
I am new here. I found this post while seeing what other christians have to say on this matter.
I met the Lord at a young age and was born into a born again family. So I can totally relate to you on that. Many of your sentiments and feelings I have felt EXACTLY the same way about.

I was mercilessly persecuted by schoolgirls throughout my school years. And in college I was just ignored by women. I have had many girlfriends but none of them I could share of myself with. Spiritually, intellectually, socially. I have also been deeply wounded by christian girls.

I wish I could give you answers this matter. But all i can do is stand in agreement with you. My walk with the Lord was never based on what He could do for me, but because I love Him. I too struggle to persevere in faith. Especially when all my church friends are younger than me and married/getting married/have babies/expecting babies.
 
I'm 38, never married, and have no prospects myself and not much to offer if i did. So i've got you beat =P
 
What is man money?? Is it different from women money or money in general?
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
Yep, it's completely different. It's used primarily for beer, pizza, and nintendo.
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Then I would love me some 'man money' but replace the first item with juice since I don't drink beer. Pizza and games.. what more could you possibly ask for? :rolleyes:
 
Donkeyfish07 said:
Yep, it's completely different. It's used primarily for beer, pizza, and nintendo.
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If it all about money game over for me man...

But honestly, i know of a girl who was in love with a guy with nothing but the shirt on his back and she was independent.
 
I agree with you man, it gets old always hearing people talk about *timing* and being *mature enough* the truth is how will you ever know when you are mature enough? I have seen people alot less mature then me find someone and they are preparing for marriage or are married. So my man I think its best if you are already financially in a place where you can support your self and a mate. Then I think you just need to get the guts to ask out more girls. God doesn't always drop things like this in your lap. So pray and seek it man and don't let the past 394 keep your from trying. Failure is only when you give up.
 
Humble1 said:
I forgot to add, there is also a faithful remnant belonging to God which haven't bend the knee to baal (symbol of the god of the world), from which I am one and others also, so there are born again christians at specific locations.
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I quite agree with him cos its the same with me am a beautiful lady with good n get body am athletic but with no guy by my side everybody keeps wondering howcome this spiritual gal got no one it was frustrating at first yes there are ladies who will not bow to baal who wont compromise but live for christ all the way my challenge is meeting a guy who will not want sex before marriage n also love christ with all his heart
but I decided to wait I believe that God has a plan for me and he is going to give me the best, a romantic, playful guy who is passionate about him so pls my brother keep serving God he hasn't forgotten abt you n me we are in his plan he loves us
 
But I believe. In his word that ask and you shall receive, seek and ye shall receive above all have faith with out faith its impossible. To please God.
Have a picture of what u want in a woman and be thkful that you have it according to mark 11:22-24
 
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
What is man money?? Is it different from women money or money in general?
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Man money is just worth a little more. It's unfair, I know, but it's why you have to pay more at the dry cleaners. It's not your clothes, it's your money.
 
I'm 30 this year and also exploring for a serious and marriage minded relationship. I'm also asking and praying to God on where is my suitable helper? How long should i be waiting? Let's press on in prayer and God will reveal to us at His timing. :)
 
Hmm I think you will never be happy in a relationship until you are content being single. A person can't bring you happiness. Only you can. I'm single as well. And I look forward to the day I am in a relationship. I just have to remember its not my time, its Gods time. Keep praying :)
 
allylovessummer3 said:
Hmm I think you will never be happy in a relationship until you are content being single. A person can't bring you happiness. Only you can. I'm single as well. And I look forward to the day I am in a relationship. I just have to remember its not my time, its Gods time. Keep praying :)
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You know the expression: "Marry in haste; repent at leisure..."

It's good just to be willing to wait for God's perfect time.
 
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