being single and pornagraphy

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mykim

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Mykim - awesome that you have come to know the Lord!

It sounds like you have to come to know the Lord as your all in all - to get your identity from him, your comfort from him, you hope from Him,

If you are in Christ = Romans 6:11 you have to reckon yourself dead to sin and alive to God in Jesus Christ

You have heart issues from your previous life outside of Christ - that He wants to deal with and change in you. I got saved around the same age - and it's taken all the way till now to really root that out of my life

pornography is sin

sex in the marriage bed is to be honored

focusing on what you don't have is what will create fantasies of thought which lead to action - and sin

i would recommend a few books

Who do you think you Are? - Mark Driscoll
When good men are tempted - Bill perkins
manhood restored - Eric Mason

Get accountability - James 5:16 confess your sins to others(men) pray and be healed

hope this helps
Yes, Christ has broken my chains of lust. Now I feel like I can actually fight it instead of managing it. I am finally ready to grow as a child of God.
 

rachelsedge

Senior Member
Oct 15, 2012
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This is really great to hear, mykim. I was actually wondering about you the other day, hadn't seen you post in a while.

It's amazing how God works. I pray that you will continue to be encouraged. Difficult days will come, maybe keep that article handy (or at least bookmarked) to remind you of Christ's love and it's fulfillment for you.
 
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mykim

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This is really great to hear, mykim. I was actually wondering about you the other day, hadn't seen you post in a while.

It's amazing how God works. I pray that you will continue to be encouraged. Difficult days will come, maybe keep that article handy (or at least bookmarked) to remind you of Christ's love and it's fulfillment for you.
Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. I am grateful to God for not abandoning me to my lust. I am starting to learn to be content and single. Now I know that my happiness depends on my relationship with Christ, not the love of a woman. I did bookmark that article, because it had such a profound effect on me.
 
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parablepete

Guest
I just came from page 2 of this post. I think the porn thing will leave when you get some self confidence. If that is you in the picture you are not ugly, your a nice looking guy. You look so young to me. We all have been threw the sweeting hands when holding a girld hand. Forget that. Jobs or so hard to find for everyone now. Take a job doing anything. Even work for FREE for a week for someone. If your a good worker and they are good people they will see they need you. Make a difference in this Old World, be kind, Nice, Helpful. Oh, and your Ant, she loves you. Don't forget that. Are you on drugs? If not you are a good person. If you are a good peerson you are a success.


If you think I am trying to builf your conifidence you 100% correct. Oh one more thing, and you will wonder how I could even ask this, are you getting the exercise you need and sleep? If not you need to run and do a few set-up and jumping Jacks. Get in shape. I hope you don't smoke. Its not good for you, coming for an over weight old man!:cool:

Try to stop feeling sorry for yourself. That little 17 year old is OLD for her age. Hey?

I have not said anything about God and his Church. You need to feel good. I care.
 
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mykim

Guest
I just came from page 2 of this post. I think the porn thing will leave when you get some self confidence. If that is you in the picture you are not ugly, your a nice looking guy. You look so young to me. We all have been threw the sweeting hands when holding a girld hand. Forget that. Jobs or so hard to find for everyone now. Take a job doing anything. Even work for FREE for a week for someone. If your a good worker and they are good people they will see they need you. Make a difference in this Old World, be kind, Nice, Helpful. Oh, and your Ant, she loves you. Don't forget that. Are you on drugs? If not you are a good person. If you are a good peerson you are a success.


If you think I am trying to builf your conifidence you 100% correct. Oh one more thing, and you will wonder how I could even ask this, are you getting the exercise you need and sleep? If not you need to run and do a few set-up and jumping Jacks. Get in shape. I hope you don't smoke. Its not good for you, coming for an over weight old man!:cool:

Try to stop feeling sorry for yourself. That little 17 year old is OLD for her age. Hey?

I have not said anything about God and his Church. You need to feel good. I care.
I feel like I am free from my porn addiction ever since I broke down and came back to God. Yes, I still am very self conscious about my sweaty cold hands. I still feel uncomfortable being greeted by people at church because of my hands, but I am praying about it. I don't have a substance abuse problem.

For work, I am still trying real estate investing, but it is slow because deals are really hard to come by. If it is God's will he will eventually allow me to be financially independent. I do exercise regularly and am in decent shape. No, I never smoked a cigarette in my life and don't plan to start.

I hope God will show me what it means to be complete in Christ. I still have much to learn
 
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butterflame

Guest
Thanks for those kind words. I really need to be

able to build up my faith in God.[/
QUOTE]

Hello :) . So I've read ur post. Honestly I'm in times of difficulty too. Am broke too and mom is sick but u know what? I'm listening to songs that'll lift me up. Try listening to " People like me" by Michaelschair. Instead of watching bad stuffs listen to Godly songs that can lift ur downcast soul. Have a great day :). Don't give up... u have big GOd who is bigger than ur problems.
 
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parablepete

Guest
MyKIm....I hope some of these ladies have PMed you and told you are nice looking. That will build the conifidence you need. You look Hawiian/Chineese to me? I had a good friend in the USAF who looks like you.

Do you live in the USA? I have another friend who lives in Mexico. He is the nicest guy, was so lonely, wanted to find a girl in the US so he could stay here. but, that didn't happen. Went back to mexico found a girl friend and married her, now has two kids I believe. He was not as good looking as you. He was short and over weight. Hard worker, but, he found the love of his life. I think he was in his 30's?

I still think you worried to much about your cold and sweaty hands. You are blessed to even have hands. Just wipe your hands on your pants and if someone says your hands are cold. Cold hand means a warm heart. HOWEVER THAT IS SOOOOOOOOO NOTHING. My son had Pimples bad, but he would doctor them, and found a girl. Things can always be worse. There was a Viedo on here of a guy who had no arms or legs. I hope someone finds that for you. It was amazing.

Did you have a girl friend when you were young? If no why not? This could be something left over from your child hood days?


Is there a church of Christ near you? Please visit it they will love you and if they don't find another c of C!
 
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paulsfam4

Guest
Don't worry about marriage, start reading your bible and start with your relationship with God,
 
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mykim

Guest
MyKIm....I hope some of these ladies have PMed you and told you are nice looking. That will build the conifidence you need. You look Hawiian/Chineese to me? I had a good friend in the USAF who looks like you.

Do you live in the USA? I have another friend who lives in Mexico. He is the nicest guy, was so lonely, wanted to find a girl in the US so he could stay here. but, that didn't happen. Went back to mexico found a girl friend and married her, now has two kids I believe. He was not as good looking as you. He was short and over weight. Hard worker, but, he found the love of his life. I think he was in his 30's?

I still think you worried to much about your cold and sweaty hands. You are blessed to even have hands. Just wipe your hands on your pants and if someone says your hands are cold. Cold hand means a warm heart. HOWEVER THAT IS SOOOOOOOOO NOTHING. My son had Pimples bad, but he would doctor them, and found a girl. Things can always be worse. There was a Viedo on here of a guy who had no arms or legs. I hope someone finds that for you. It was amazing.

Did you have a girl friend when you were young? If no why not? This could be something left over from your child hood days?


Is there a church of Christ near you? Please visit it they will love you and if they don't find another c of C!
Thanks for your kind words. Yes I am familiar with Nick Vujicic. He is truly inspirational and also a christian.

I have never had a girlfriend or been on a date. But I am relying on God to fill my void and hope he will be gracious enough to make me understand what it means to be in a relationship with Christ.

I have been going to my local church ever since I accepted Christ and while I have not made any friends, there are nice people there who are kind to me.
 
Sep 6, 2013
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I have never had a girlfriend or been on a date. But I am relying on God to fill my void and hope he will be gracious enough to make me understand what it means to be in a relationship with Christ.

I have been going to my local church ever since I accepted Christ and while I have not made any friends, there are nice people there who are kind to me.
Mykim, I am reading your posts and seeing such a change in you. You have a wonderful positive attitude now that shows clearly that you're on a journey which will lead you somewhere wonderful. It is beginning. God is good. I'm excited to see where this takes you. :)
 
Dec 24, 2013
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Wow. I just finished reading this thread, Mykim, and it is amazing to see you speaking in a new perspective now. You are an inspiration! I too struggle with confidence and related issues.

You sound like a new person! God can always do that. He makes us new. I look forward to hearing more from you and your journey with God. :)
 
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Ade

Guest
Who told you that you are ugly? God made you in His image and the way He chose to. Before others can accept you, you must first accept yourself. Again, you know as a christian, your addiction to pornography is a bondage and evil. You need a determination to stop it. Then look for a mature christian leader to pray with you. Believe me as you do this thing God Shall give you your heart desires because He cares for you.
 
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mykim

Guest
Here is another update. I have not watched porn for 16 days. This is a new record for me, but I can't say it has been pleasant. I have become more depressed and gloomy because I can't get my fix anymore. Porn used to be a way for me to escape grim reality and to feel good at the same time. Now, I don't have that crutch to fall back on.

The temptation has been strong, but I have not given in. But considering that my life is pretty much hell on earth, I notice that I am praying to God every day to put me out of my misery. I wish he could just stop my heart so I can end my agony.

Financial troubles, possibility of homelessness, health problems, poor self esteem, lack of intimacy, and my inability to do anything about them has caused me so much pain and suffering. At least the porn dulled that pain but I can't have a relapse again. I wish God would just give me the gift of death. That's the best thing he can possibly do for me. I have had so many suicidal thoughts after stopping porn, and also my OCD intrusive thoughts are getting worse.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
This is good man, a good start.

Just give it time. In time you'll find you have a better perspective on things You may even start to see solutions to the problem you had not yet seen. That's not a promise, but I can promise the feeling of control over just one area of your life will radiate into other areas of your life, and you'll feel less helpless.
 
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kenthomas27

Guest
I have a ton of weaknesses and one of them is this thread for sure. This title just rips me - that's right, you heard me right - it kicks me right in the rip. "Being Single and Pornagraphy". Ok, here's what I see every time ---> pornagraphy! Every time I look at it. Spell check keeps turning it................QUIT. Ok. Pornagraphy. Right in the middle of it is a nag. If that's not enough to turn you against it, I don't know what will!

Just glad I could be of help Mykim.
 
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DarlinNadia

Guest
I have so many things to say, but let me keep it short simple and to the point.

#1. Dying to self every day is the most difficult part... you will need to give up the OLD Self and put on the new Self... it will be awkward.. it will be hard... it is NOT something you can do by your own strength... KNOW that it is Jesus living in you making these Changes and giving you this strength.. you can't muster it up yourself but you do have to sit in the passenger seat for awhile whilst God is working on you .. pruning you.

#2. When you stumble.... know that is your OLD self trying to manage a situation that belongs in the hands of God. Each wretched thought you have about yourself is not ALL coming from Satan... it's a purification process you will NEED to go through... it's GOOD you realize you are falling short of the Glory of God.... this is a blessing .. AMEN cause the Holy Spirit is working hard on convicting you at every wrong turn. Know that GOD always always always provides a way out of Sin and temptation. I pray right now that God makes these escape routes so obvious to you that you are forced to pause a moment and make a specific decision.. each and every time and the strength to make a decision that Glorifies God, In Jesus Name, Amen!

#3. Stumbling sucks. I do it often and daily... but God is so awesome that as soon as you pick yourself up... God brushes you off and the Blood of Jesus cleans your slate of Life... every day when you pick up that cross, new challenges await you and new victories are there for you in Christ. Be thankful, be grateful God loves you so much that he is WILLING to love you even while you are sinning.. remember you did not find God... God found you, he is responsible for choosing you and saving you... There is something very valuable in you that God knows about... you know it too.. but you've buried it deep in the world's view of you, God need to pull off the layers... as he's doing that if you keep reapplying the layers over and over with self-loathing talk and pointing at all your failures, it's going to be a much longer process and sometimes more painful. When God is stripping off a layer of self doubt or self loathing and you cling to it... it's gonna be a painful process. Let GOD identify you... let God Define you... You aren't what you see when you look in the mirror... or when you rank yourself by society's standards. You mentioned the porn. Pray about it... I still smoke cigarettes and have other issues of selfishness and pride I deal with daily... but the most important thing God had to strip from my life was bitterness and anger and unforgiveness... These things were a priority in my new life... long hard road but the freedom and the love and moreover the PEACE that only Jesus Christ can provide is in me...so even when the world says Tif, you're old, you don't have a job, your body's breaking down, your worthless, you don't provide anything of value to anyone (all those lies - some by satan others worldly truths).. even with all that I'm peaceful and happy because i know God loves me and I'm where I'm supposed to be... God protects me from the judgments and false witnessing the world throws at me. Praise God i'm thankful, I tell him I'm thankful and I give him Glory and praise in my testimonies. it's awesome! :)

#5. Ugly. No. You are far from ugly, you actually resemble Sasuke Uchia from Naruto and he's adored tremendously by most of the women. You are handsome with pretty eyes. Your circumstances are what they are for a reason far greater than you can see or even understand. You are exactly where God wants you to be during this transformation and good work he's going to be doing in you. Perhaps it's so that your parents are able to witness the change.. perhaps you are to be salt and light for them... Perhaps your presence will serve a far greater purpose and if you have a job when your role becomes apparent it might make an easy decision more difficult. God is faithful and God is sovereign. You don't know his WILL and that can be scary... this is where Faith takes over... I pray that God provides you the rest and peace in him you need. I ask God to hug you and hold you awhile so that you feel valued and loved. I pray this in Jesus name, Amen.

Welcome to Christian Chat Mykim :)

Please try to see yourself through the eyes of the Lord. Your eyes looking at you are still of your old self and they are deceiving you. You have already endured so much as a new Christian... Try keeping a prayer Journal.. not of your failures... but of your successes... start with the small ones.

You can use this if you like: Dear Lord, I don't even wanna get out of bed today... Lord help me through the day today... and make my achievements that glorify you obvious so I can track progress... even the little stuff, In Jesus name, Amen
at night... reflect. Wow Lord, I didn't want to even get out of bed but i had a super productive day. I organized my whatever and I even vacuumed the baseboards in my room. I was helpful to my mom even when she was overly-nagging me. I was able to look my dad in the eyes and say I love you Dad and it wasn't weird. (these are examples)

So here was a bad morning, picking up the cross and avoiding porn with Cleaning, Organization, Helpfulness, and Love. (What awesome Glory to God!!) I know it's far easier to write and say .... but with God, you can achieve success Mykim.
 
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ServantStrike

Guest
I have a ton of weaknesses and one of them is this thread for sure. This title just rips me - that's right, you heard me right - it kicks me right in the rip. "Being Single and Pornagraphy". Ok, here's what I see every time ---> pornagraphy! Every time I look at it. Spell check keeps turning it................QUIT. Ok. Pornagraphy. Right in the middle of it is a nag. If that's not enough to turn you against it, I don't know what will!

Just glad I could be of help Mykim.
I agree.

I move that this be called a rafiki problem.


Rafiki2.gif
 
J

ji

Guest
Hi,

I have recently decided to accept jesus into my life, but I still have a lot of issues. Currently, I cannot find employment or make a living and also still single.

I am a 28 year old virgin and have never ever had a relationship or a woman in my life. This has caused me to become heavily addicted to pornography over the years. I also know that I am ugly and disgusting and will never be able to get married. I say that i am disgusting because my hands are always cold and sweaty and i have an ugly face. Also, women are just not interested in me.

What am I to do about this? I don't want to displease god but i cannot deal with being alone and dieing a kissless virgin. I need my pornography to ease the pain. I tried praying to god to help me resist, but I just can't. Is there any hope for me? I feel so miserable when I see happy christian couples. I know that i will never find love and marry.
Do not listen to people who make you see the butcher's knife..
Jesus does see your pain..

you have to sometime Realize that Jesus is Alive,He is the Living God not some idol with no life.
For that i Pray(will be Praying) and wish that God leads you to a divine encounter so that you Start Trusting Him.
Whatever the addiction(no matter what) for God its a sin,...its all sins,..nothing greater or less.
you have to understand that various lusts including lust of flesh which includes sexual lust(where porn also comes in) are stimulated by evil spirits.

Reality:- Most people will give so many big advises(which makes you feel like they are gods) where only few might talk from experience.Getting out from any addiction is possible In Jesus's Name...but may not be easy and sudden..
Don't give up,its your loneliness that makes you do such things.Start Praying with a Sincere request to God that 'its not within you to deal with this weakness'..Fast and Pray...if you can,don't think about perfectness in that.Even if you fail,when you feel broken Cry out to God.Jesus will HEAL you.
He is not a condemning God.He is Love.He will Heal and Fix you where you cannot.
He will Guide you to all Truth and give you rest.Just don't give up..

God sees your broken Heart and you have Repentance.Sometimes it makes me feel that its for talking to brothers and sisters like you that God brought me to CC.

If you attend a Church,be a part of it.There is 99% chance that elders may not help you there.Nor will many others.Do you know why?Because they might be weaker than you ...compared to the time when you have become a Victorious man in Jesus they will still be vulnerable and don't show it.i think you get the point:)
But the reason why you must attend a Fellowship is that Spiritual warfare is many times stronger when you worship in a Christian Gathering.It doesnt matter in Worship who is weak or Strong because Holy Spirit will be there in the midst...That's the advantage,satan cannot play games with Holy Spirit.Always remember that...and that's the beginning step to Victory:)
Continue Fellowship and God will make you an Overcomer from all filth and you will be guiding others to Jesus in the long run.

if you don't have a Church Fellowship,Please take the hardship to find one(where Jesus is only worshiped,no saint mary or any other saints including infant jesus..).The hardship will be only there in the beginning,in the long run God will make your Life sweet and will get you a Life partner too:)
Trust in God.He is not man to change words,His Words do not change..
(if you have doubts please ask,usually people don't ask....still telling this if you need clarification)
So Pray to God that He Leads you to Compassionate people who can mold you to be a Faith & Prayer Warrior.With God All Things Are Possible:)

Read Galatians 6 KJV,that's how real Christians look and behave.Discern with that, each and every comment and the people you speak to.Also Trust in God.He will Lead you to Rest where you haven't got any rest till now.
Sincerity matters before God, then only God can help us and Give us the Grace to Obey Him.That is His part.Be Sincere before God first,..He will Help you because He died for losers like me and you...That's what Christianity is all about.

you will see God removing all the chains of bondage one by one by the Power of God.
God bless:)



Shame on condemnation preachers...don't pay heed to such.

 
J

ji

Guest
I have a ton of weaknesses and one of them is this thread for sure. This title just rips me - that's right, you heard me right - it kicks me right in the rip. "Being Single and Pornagraphy". Ok, here's what I see every time ---> pornagraphy! Every time I look at it. Spell check keeps turning it................QUIT. Ok. Pornagraphy. Right in the middle of it is a nag. If that's not enough to turn you against it, I don't know what will!

Just glad I could be of help Mykim.
Please share that life so others can learn from you...
should i expect a lame excuse?
 
J

ji

Guest
This is good man, a good start.

Just give it time. In time you'll find you have a better perspective on things You may even start to see solutions to the problem you had not yet seen. That's not a promise, but I can promise the feeling of control over just one area of your life will radiate into other areas of your life, and you'll feel less helpless.
May God Bless you for your Compassionate and Life sharing advice.
we lack Christians like these nowadays..
 
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