being single and pornagraphy

[ji]

Here is another update. I have not watched porn for 16 days. This is a new record for me, but I can't say it has been pleasant. I have become more depressed and gloomy because I can't get my fix anymore. Porn used to be a way for me to escape grim reality and to feel good at the same time. Now, I don't have that crutch to fall back on.

The temptation has been strong, but I have not given in. But considering that my life is pretty much hell on earth, I notice that I am praying to God every day to put me out of my misery. I wish he could just stop my heart so I can end my agony.

Financial troubles, possibility of homelessness, health problems, poor self esteem, lack of intimacy, and my inability to do anything about them has caused me so much pain and suffering. At least the porn dulled that pain but I can't have a relapse again. I wish God would just give me the gift of death. That's the best thing he can possibly do for me. I have had so many suicidal thoughts after stopping porn, and also my OCD intrusive thoughts are getting worse.

porn doesn't dull the pain,it makes you loose your confidence more..
its the same with any addiction..that's why its a problem..

"Financial troubles, possibility of homelessness, health problems, poor self esteem, lack of intimacy, and my inability to do anything about them has caused me so much pain and suffering" - your words.

i have gone through that,but God has a way of picking His child even from death point.i was picked up from death by God's spirit when i thought i couldn't move on further.The Love that i felt when i was brought back to life was enough for me to change..

i am saying this all to make it clear to you that God doesn't give up...
Trust in God.The initial struggle that you have trying to resist in long run will become a routine in the long run which your body will gradually pick up.Christianity is putting to death the works of flesh by God's Spirit(The Holy Spirit).

Thanks for sharing,...
Christian walk may not be comfortable in the beginning but it will be in the long run..because walking with Jesus is free of worries
Just make sure to stay away from people who tell condemning words and don't live accordingly.Be it here or in world,even in your church(like i mentioned in one of the above comment)i think in this thread itself you can find many..just look at their posts and see if they are sharing their life.That's how you find the crooks..

 

[ji]

Thanks for your kind words. Yes I am familiar with Nick Vujicic. He is truly inspirational and also a christian.

I have never had a girlfriend or been on a date. But I am relying on God to fill my void and hope he will be gracious enough to make me understand what it means to be in a relationship with Christ.

I have been going to my local church ever since I accepted Christ and while I have not made any friends, there are nice people there who are kind to me.

"be gracious enough to make me understand what it means to be in a relationship with Christ.

I have been going to my local church ever since I accepted Christ and while I have not made any friends, there are nice people there who are kind to me."

and you're not a Christian....if its weakness that's the hindrance you see,then think about how many other sins we don't usually are concerned with happens in our daily life.Careless talk is a sin...and like that so many situations.And you have to realize that God sees them all as sin and there is no terrible sin other than Blaspheming the Holy Spirit.

Being sober minded is good,it kept you away so far from mischievous girls/women...isn't that great.so you fear God..
That's what God looks at..

He will make you victorious in the long run
Trust in God,
start Trusting in Him and God to fill your void and will be gracious enough to make you understand(more than you can think) what it means to be in a relationship with Christ..

God Bless...Bro,thanks for being very bold.you will inspire many to come to Jesus

 

[ji]

Thanks for keeping me in your thoughts. I am grateful to God for not abandoning me to my lust. I am starting to learn to be content and single. Now I know that my happiness depends on my relationship with Christ, not the love of a woman. I did bookmark that article, because it had such a profound effect on me.

"Now I know that my happiness depends on my relationship with Christ, not the love of a woman." -that's all that matters

If there is a need for a woman in your life,God will bring...

 

[mykim]

Thank you all for your support and kind words. I am so spiritually weak that i feel that God has abandoned me to my personal hell. Best I can do is carry my cross and not give in to my old self.

I wish God would deliver me from this hopeless mess. If he has a plan for me, then he will come through but at times I feel like he wants me to suffer needlessly. I already feel so dejected, sick, and tired. I just want to feel his love but I can't sense it at all.

 

[ServantStrike]

Thank you all for your support and kind words. I am so spiritually weak that i feel that God has abandoned me to my personal hell. Best I can do is carry my cross and not give in to my old self.

I wish God would deliver me from this hopeless mess. If he has a plan for me, then he will come through but at times I feel like he wants me to suffer needlessly. I already feel so dejected, sick, and tired. I just want to feel his love but I can't sense it at all.

Believe me when I say I know how you're feeling right now.

I've been there before, and on any given day right now, I can end up there if I don't watch it. Just keep praying and keep trying, and eventually, things will either change, or your threshold for pain will increase to where you can roll with it. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed, but it does seem some people get more guarantees than others.

Just remember, obedience to Christ has rewards that we can't always even see, but they are totally and unequivocally real.

 

[DarlinNadia]

Thank you all for your support and kind words......... I just want to feel his love but I can't sense it at all.

The love and support you are receiving here is likely to come from God. you are surrounding yourself with Christians that care... Good start... you ARE ​feeling his love

 

[mykim]

The love and support you are receiving here is likely to come from God. you are surrounding yourself with Christians that care... Good start... you ARE ​feeling his love

In that sense you are right. There are some nice people at my church and on this forum. I guess it is my neediness and isolation that are causing these feelings.

 

[RedFox144]

I know exactly where you are coming from. I am also 28, single and have had the same thoughts that you have described here. I have actually laid in bed some nights and prayed that God would make me useful to Him because I felt that in my current state, I was pathetic and useless. Self-confidence has never been a strong suit for me do to life circumstances and my tendency to dwell much more on my failures instead of my successes and blessings. I have felt the loneliness of singleness, the sting of constant failure, the detestable allure of porn. In fact, it is the fact that I am struggling with porn that I have stumbled upon your post. I am seeking help myself as I have fought so long against this devious act alone because I am to ashamed to admit it to those I know. I commend you for coming to other Christians to get help. All of my attempts to quench this desire by myself have failed and I believe that the only true way to conquer this beast is with prayer and with accountability with your Christian brothers and sisters. I have not read much of the rest of this discussion so forgive me if you have already gotten all your questions answered and what not. It does seem that I am seeing a post that is quite a few months old. I hope that you have been helped by these other people. I'll read more of their responses later and see if I can add my 2 cents worth if needed.
Also, with regards to your lack of a job and living with your parents, don't loose hope and continue to pray. I only moved out of my parents house last September and I also took a while to find out where God was maneuvering me to my job. Now that I have recently arrived there, I can look back and see the hidden path that He had carved for me and it is amazing. Everything has a purpose and is planned out and orchestrated by the God of the universe. We might not see it now, we may not see it in our lifetime, but it is there and it will blow your mind when it is revealed to you.
[h=3]Jeremiah 29:11-13 (NIV)[/h]
[SUP]11 [/SUP]For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. [SUP]12 [/SUP]Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. [SUP]13 [/SUP]You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

 

[Risen]

Dear Heavenly Father
Please open myKim's eyes, mind and heart for him to know that you do love and care for him as much as you love and care for your son Jesus christ. Help him to hear and believe what your word says and not listen to the lies of the devil. Help him understand who he is in your sight.

• I am a child of God. John 1:12
• I am a friend with God. John 15:15
• I am not condemned by God. Romans 8:1
• I am an heir with Christ. Romans 8:17
• I have wisdom, righteousness and redemption, in Christ Jesus. 1 Corinthians 1:30
• I am a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17
• I am the righteousness of God. 2 Corinthians 5:21
• I have been set free. Galatians 5:1
• I have been blessed with every spiritual blessing. Ephesians 1:3
• I am chosen, holy, and blameless before God. Ephesians 1:4
• I am redeemed and forgiven by the grace of God. Ephesians 1:7
• I am seated in the heavenly places with Christ. Ephesians 2:10
• I have been brought near to God by the blood of Christ. Ephesians 2:13
• I am a member of Christ’s body and a partaker of His promise. Ephesians 3:6
• I have boldness and confident access to God through faith in Christ. Ephesians 3:12
• I have been made complete in Christ. Colossians 2:10
• I have been chosen by God, holy and dearly loved. Colossians 3:12
• I am an overcomer in Christ Jesus. 1 John 5:4
• I am a citizen of Heaven. Philippians 3:20
• I Can Do All Things Through Christ. Philippians 4:13

I asked all these things in Jesus mighty name Aman

 

[StoneThrower]

Hi,

I have recently decided to accept jesus into my life, but I still have a lot of issues. Currently, I cannot find employment or make a living and also still single.

I am a 28 year old virgin and have never ever had a relationship or a woman in my life. This has caused me to become heavily addicted to pornography over the years. I also know that I am ugly and disgusting and will never be able to get married. I say that i am disgusting because my hands are always cold and sweaty and i have an ugly face. Also, women are just not interested in me.

What am I to do about this? I don't want to displease god but i cannot deal with being alone and dieing a kissless virgin. I need my pornography to ease the pain. I tried praying to god to help me resist, but I just can't. Is there any hope for me? I feel so miserable when I see happy christian couples. I know that i will never find love and marry.

Dude,
First thing you need to figure out is do you love God more, or your sin?
Speaking from experience let me tell you what porn will do in fact if you PM me I will send you a CD called slaying the dragon.
Porn will screw up the way you think about women you will tend to look at them as sex objects and it will take years to correct that perverted thinking.
Porn is demonic; it comes from the root word Porneia which is also used for witchcraft and drugs in the Bible. It will mess up your thinking and enslave you the same as cocaine.
Masturbation allows you to get that buzz from the OxyContin that the brain produces and it becomes all about the buzz. Sex is much more than that, and can actually be a way of worship God when done between a husband and wife enjoying what God created.
People who are into porn are incredibly selfish it’s all about them, no real woman could ever measure up to airbrushed images.
People that are into porn can and do lose jobs over it, and quit taking care of personal grooming habits as they no longer need to work to win the affection of another.
In the process of screwing up your own mind you are contributing to the demise of some poor woman that is caught up in the industry who is someone’s daughter. How would you like if a bunch of perverts were spanking the monkey to your daughter.
Porn also allows other perverts to exploit these women and get them further caught up in drugs and prostitution.
Porn will shrivel your soul!
What you are currently doing the Bible calls fornication. Jesus says if you look at a women with lust you have committed adultery in your heart as he judges the intentions of the heart not just the physical act. Not to mention you are not honoring your Mom and Dad another one of Gods commands.
When you love Christ the cheap substitues fall by the way side as you want Him more.
Dont underestimate porn for a minute, and what you do behind close doors that sin will hurt and impact others. There is no sin that dosent touch another person.

You dont need to make excuses for hanging on to that sin you need to flee it, and if you are truly saved you can pray through those times, leave the house and go workout or go for a run something to occupy your mind. The first step is putting the garbage out, and then commiting to Christ. For those in Christ there is no temptation you cant resist.

"choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

 

[StoneThrower]

I went to college with a BBA in marketing. Had an entry level job but got laid off. Been trying my own thing since, and nothing has worked. Now i have no job history so it looks bad on my resume. I even got a personal training certificate but could not even get work. I am cursed financially. My life is just as bad as those starving kids. Without the support from my loving aunt, i would be homeless and it really tears me up inside knowing that I am burden on her.



I wish i could just delete my porn stash just like that. Problem is, even if i did, how am i going to deal with being a lonely single pathetic man? I can't even make friends because i get so uncomfortable around people due to my disgusting body. I really dread people offering to shake my hands because i suffer from sweaty cold palms 24/7

Have you ever considered talking to a pastor and getting Biblical counceling? That would be a great first step!

 

[StoneThrower]

the problem is that i hate myself so much that it is impossible for me to be confident. Over the years, my hate for myself has just increased.

I know i won't die if i got rid of my porn but i will be extremely miserable. Since I can't have sex, I use porn to masturbate, so it is a really bad crutch. It's almost like I was setup for failure.

[h=3]2 Corinthians 10:5[/h]New American Standard Bible (NASB)

[SUP]5 [/SUP]We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,


Also when you are most likely to sin is when you are: Hungry, Angry, Lonley, or Tired (H.A.L.T) and at each one of those times your attention is on your self. Sort of like now!

 

[StoneThrower]

I am a victim of my failures and vices.

Actually your a victim to your incorrect thinking! My brother in law the other day so you really do have it made you have a carefree life, and you can go places and do things whenever you want to.
Perspective is everything. You could become a missionary, go back to school. The best part is your parents havent thrown you out. Ever consider the military?
Serving someone else is a great way to get your mind off your self.

 

[iTOREtheSKY]

Spend more time in prayer & stop treating your body like it was an amusement park. Oh,yeah..and stop resurrection old threads.

 

[StoneThrower]

I have done internships but they did not help me much.

I have not bothered to apply to minimum wage jobs because I could not even support myself with the low wages. It is also extremely demeaning to work next to high school kids.

I have recently started to attend a local church again.

Dude, that’s some pride, support yourself your living with Mom and Dad
Really?
Humble yourself and don’t be so proud, take the min wage job, when you try doors will open up to you. Entitlement leads to frustration, but I guess you know that already.
Seriously think about it, that piece of paper means little, that’s equivalent to a high school diploma.