Designed to Endure and Love Only One forever?

[DarlinNadia]

Are people, God's people, designed to love only one person forever?

Think about how many people fall away from God.... Backslide... and there's nothing but Good in God.

People Change.... Change can happen at any time.... Are there people that are willing to Change with one another and endure hardships even when it is not easy.?

How can you tell who will stay and who will run away?

Edit: I'm looking for encouragement in humanity in general.

 

[kenthomas27]

For me, there has always been a kind of duality in my relationship with God. There is a freedom found in the concept that I was provided everlasting life by mercy alone. Nothing I did or will do deserved or worked in my favor to accomplish this.

There was also a slavery - that of conformity to a damaged world I must navigate my way through daily. The fear, the avarice, the unreliability of others we're forced live with, earn food and work with - even share a bed with.

Romans 12:2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

The questions you have asked are all based in that fear without test Darlin. It's that bipolar relationship you, as humanity, share with us all that leaves us slaves to our fear yet grateful for our salvation from a Good God. 1 John 4:1 says Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.

I can't encourage you in the steadfastness of humanity and would be doing a disservice if I did.

 

[ji]

Are people, God's people, designed to love only one person forever?

Think about how many people fall away from God.... Backslide... and there's nothing but Good in God.

People Change.... Change can happen at any time.... Are there people that are willing to Change with one another and endure hardships even when it is not easy.?

How can you tell who will stay and who will run away?

Edit: I'm looking for encouragement in humanity in general.

All the times i failed, all the times i fell for the same traps devil put.....makes me grow stronger and less adapted to this world by the Grace of God.If we could trust in humanity,Jesus wouldn't have had to come in flesh.
We Need Him the Wonderful Counselor.Funny,even before so called modern man thought of it and do things pathetically that make a half crack go full crack through psychology(diversion and an excuse for God to heal the mentally challenged and possessed) God knew what mankind needed 1000's of years ago..
If humanity was good,then Adam wouldn't have become dumb to fall for satan's trick.

Our only way out of here is in Jesus.He is our only way out.When we start living in Him,even self condemnation doesn't have any chance to grow in us which sheds New Light and Hope(like never before which makes us fly like Eagles above the storms) in such an enormous level that it start spilling out and this is how we start spreading it.Its a contagious love.And when it starts spreading like that to others as a wild fire(doesn't become dim but burns brighter in situations we think we are gone) humanity has a better Hope through God who taught us to Love Unconditionally..

humanity as such without God is going to be flushed down the toilet soon..
we go behind humanitarian service without God,they will drag us into secularism which will add our already inflicted burdens and we have in future more burdens and 'pop tarting'
Isn't Jesus Good enough that He takes time enduring our silly attitudes(winking at them) knowing we are His little children and, we need him all the time to become Holy like Him(in course of time) that can make us stand before God Almighty without blemish...

'Love one another' is better done with God,so that we won't faint..

"How can you tell who will stay and who will run away?"...good question,in fact many avoid that question and without any mercy condemn others and also some self condemn,..so you got a point there hidden

"People Change.... Change can happen at any time.... Are there people that are willing to Change with one another and endure hardships even when it is not easy.?"
nope not many are ready to bear one another,such people are easy to be spotted..., tadaa....behold the condemnation preachers....

If you have a God given burden about such,its great.Pray for such.That makes God smile

"I'm looking for encouragement in humanity in general." i tried a lot,took me to the point of death and God lifted me up from death,now living with changed aims.'What can i do for Christ today' was the result.

May God Bless you more and bring more transfiguration in your life and make you Love others Unconditionally..
There might be failures,but Jesus Never fails,...its a New Doctrine in Christ Jesus that He writes in our hearts when we truly encounter Him..It's the True Salvation to Love unconditionally when even circumstances don't favor.

 

[secularhermit]

Pitifully, the truth is different from those idealized concepts: Changes prevail over endurance.

 

[Shouryu]

My answer remains thus:

If so, what of widows and widowers?

 

[ji]

Pitifully, the truth is different from those idealized concepts: Changes prevail over endurance.

what is the idealized concept?

 

[cinder]

Are people, God's people, designed to love only one person forever?

God's people are commanded to love one another, love their neighbors, and love their enemies. It's how others can know we are God's people. So we are commanded to love much more than just one person (yes I've got a bit of a hot button when it comes to defining love as only romantic love). But to answer the intent behind your question, there are several places in the Bible where remarriage is permitted or advised ( 1 Tim 5:14, Rom 7:3 (yes I know here it's just an illustration to prove a point), 1 Cor 7:8-9 (includes widows)). I would consider this enough biblical evidence (and I'm not even getting into all the multiple wives in the OT) to keep someone from jumping to the conclusion that we are designed to love only one person forever. That being said, "falling out of love" has never been a biblical reason to separate. But as love is a binding and uniting thing, there is no way to lose someone or something you love without it hurting.

Think about how many people fall away from God.... Backslide... and there's nothing but Good in God.

People Change.... Change can happen at any time.... Are there people that are willing to Change with one another and endure hardships even when it is not easy.?

How can you tell who will stay and who will run away?

If I knew the formula to determine who would stick it out and who wouldn't I could become a very rich woman. I'd team up with the person who came up with the formula for making someone fall in love and we would help desperate singles choose someone who wouldn't leave them, then make that person fall in love with our customer. But until such a fantasy world exists, here are a few things to look for that might help:

1) How does this person handle conflict? Some people tend to avoid conflict, but a person who won't stand and fight for the important things isn't going to have staying power. When the conflict gets too intense their survival instinct will send them running.

2) How does this person view commitment? In a culture where comfort and convenience take precedence, true commitment is a rare thing. Does this person join all kinds of new groups, but disappear after the first month? Does this person avoid saying they'll do anything so they don't disappoint others? How long has this person been involved in activities or areas of service?

3) How many long term friends does this person have? If all of this person's friends have known him for only a few months or a year I would be cautious. On the other hand, if this person has friends that have known him (or her) for a while and still make it a priority to be in touch, there's a, hopefully good, reason why. Long term friends can also be great character references, especially if you can be around them while they're telling stories about each other.

Hope this helps, general advice for a general question, but that's the best that can be done without specifics.

 

[Hungry]

I think the way you mean love, in love, rests on the partners ability to stay lovable. The love that God designed for our relationships is deeper than desire. It is the aligning of all of our needs and wants based on our spouse and theirs on ours. In doing this we become truly entwined as one. It is the basis of a family unit, the foundation of community and a healthy society. If you want to pick someone who will stay, then find someone who cares for others more than themselves. A selfish person and someone who is always focused on how they are affected and how they are treated I think is looking for a spouse who will build them up. When their needs are not met and they see "greener grass", I think they will more likely be tempted to leave.

 

[savedandIknowit]

If humanity was good,then Adam wouldn't have become dumb to fall for satan's trick.

correction Genesis1: 31And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

Before Adam sinned God said this

 

[DarlinNadia]

My answer remains thus:

If so, what of widows and widowers?

My Mom was married once prior to marrying my father, she left the guy she was married to first because he was abusive... that all happened prior to my birth... I remember when I was very young my mother had an affair with a guy that gave me a cactus I really liked... it had to have been only sexual drinking buddies for them, because my father was a truck driver and it occurred when he was out of town one very long trip. I met the guy when my mom was breaking up with him and I remember she told him that it was stupid of her to risk losing her family and that she had already told my dad and they were going to work though things... Why I was along for the ride I have no idea. I remember my mother was weak then as well, heavily drinking and always sad .. trying to break free from whatever was holding her down. That was the only time I remember my mother being like that and I was in the 4th grade I think.

My Dad died in 1991 and my mom never so much as looked at another man after that one indiscretion she had when i was a child.. I know this because My mom lived with me after my dad passed away. I remember every other family member trying to hook her up with someone or another and she would always say she realized long ago she gave her heart to my dad and he's taken it to Heaven with him and so she has no business trying to give it to someone else. My mom died a widow about 20 years after my father passed away.

I remember asking her shortly before she died if she ever regretted not loving another... and she said no, not for one minute.

I think it makes a difference too how long a person's parents have been together. My mom and dad went through SO much together... my ex husband's parents stayed together but the day he turned 18 they both made their divorce legit and married their respective others... his mother went through 4 guys before she ended up with the one she's with now.

is it wrong to believe that someone that comes from a broken home is likely to also *break* sooner than say someone from a home where marriage and vows are taken to the grave?

If I knew the formula to determine who would stick it out and who wouldn't I could become a very rich woman. I'd team up with the person who came up with the formula for making someone fall in love and we would help desperate singles choose someone who wouldn't leave them, then make that person fall in love with our customer. But until such a fantasy world exists, here are a few things to look for that might help:

1) How does this person handle conflict? Some people tend to avoid conflict, but a person who won't stand and fight for the important things isn't going to have staying power. When the conflict gets too intense their survival instinct will send them running.

2) How does this person view commitment? In a culture where comfort and convenience take precedence, true commitment is a rare thing. Does this person join all kinds of new groups, but disappear after the first month? Does this person avoid saying they'll do anything so they don't disappoint others? How long has this person been involved in activities or areas of service?

3) How many long term friends does this person have? If all of this person's friends have known him for only a few months or a year I would be cautious. On the other hand, if this person has friends that have known him (or her) for a while and still make it a priority to be in touch, there's a, hopefully good, reason why. Long term friends can also be great character references, especially if you can be around them while they're telling stories about each other.

Hope this helps, general advice for a general question, but that's the best that can be done without specifics.

This was incredibly helpful...Thank you! Things to look for... .additionally things to measure against myself. Knowing the stuff people look for or consider... I never would have considered any of these things, I just blindly assume people have their reasons and those reasons are valid.

I have friends only a few real friends that have been there... a long time.

Lori from 1984 she's been through all my deaths, births, and graduations, teen years, and even my marriage.... I used to call her my son's dad because she did all the dad things with him because she was sporty and I wasn't. She has been through my very very low times... and my happy times. I love her truly. She's my sister in Christ as well.

Shawna from 1998, I met before I married my ex-husband... we worked together, she saw me at some pretty wild times in my life, though she never partook in my wildside.. I think she sat home and prayed for my salvation... she listened to my stories and I remember thinking she only liked me so she could live vicariously through me without going to hell for it all... She is also my sister in Christ.

Looking back on it, I had some Prayer Warriors in my life and they both prayed continually for me and have said they felt highly blessed to see the ultra transformation in my life that God did.

 

[rachelsedge]

My answer has a few parts to it, because it depends on “love only one” you mean.

I cannot restore your faith in humanity, because as others have said, humans are all fallen. Even the redeemed carry with them the sin nature, the battle of flesh and spirit. The body is to encourage and love each other, regardless. We can’t not love people because of their fallen state; we should love them regardless of this, in spite of this, and because of this.

Jesus said to love everyone. Serve the weak, do not think of yourselves more highly than others, basically all of Romans 12. In that regards, we do not love “only one”.

As far as marriage, I believe that you should love and be committed to the one you are married to. It is a different love than the love that Christ commands us to have for everyone. If the spouse passes away, the widower can remarry and then love and be committed to their new “one”. The loves shouldn’t be compared, as they will be different, but the same type of love and commitment can be there. Otherwise, I don’t believe in “THE one” because things happen, we’re compatible with different people, etc.

Lastly, the only one we should truly love above all else is The One, our Creator, and we are designed that way. Our souls cannot be satisfied in the way that it can with the Lord, and it is not meant to be.

 

[Grace-Like-Rain]

is it wrong to believe that someone that comes from a broken home is likely to also *break* sooner than say someone from a home where marriage and vows are taken to the grave?

Statistically speaking, it's true... so it isn't really wrong to believe that. Those who have known divorce, whether in their childhood or in their own lives as an adult, are sometimes less afraid of it. They already know what it's like, and (depending on the nature of the situations they are familiar with) that there is life after divorce, so it seems they are more willing to leave if things get bad.

But it happens in families where there has never been divorced as well. My husband and I were both raised by solid married parents (and all of our grandparents too) who were committed to one another through thick and thin. His father in particular was absolutely horrified by what happened in our marriage. He just kept saying, "We didn't raise him like this. We didn't raise him this way."

My kids were raised in a solid home with both parents until their teens. I do sometimes wonder how this will effect them in their own lives and future marriages. On the one hand, they have the benefit of a loving and unified early childhood. On the other, they were old enough to know too much when it all fell apart, and I am sure it is branded on their memory. All we can do is pray.

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

is it wrong to believe that someone that comes from a broken home is likely to also *break* sooner than say someone from a home where marriage and vows are taken to the grave?

My Mom and Dad got divorced even before i was born. So i don't remember them together. My mom was always with a different guy every other month after that. Sometimes she would take me and we would live with which ever one she was dating. It was always the same thing. The guy would do something that made her mad and she'd just up and leave.
My Dad was/is the same way. He's on his 4th marriage and this one is about to end.

I say all that to get to this. This is just how i thought things went in relationships. I went through guy after guy and as soon as he did something that made me mad, there was no discussion, that was it and i'd move on to someone else. Nobody ever told me or taught me how to buckle down when things got hard. There is some truth to what you said, people from a broken home are more likely to break at the first sign of trouble. Although I have seen it go two ways though. Some either don't want to turn out like there parents and they'll do whatever it takes to make it work and Some turn out exactly like there parents and take off when things get tough.

Chances are if you're never taught how to communicate and if you're never shown how to stick with something you'll just imitate what you've seen.

 

[just_monicat]

well, i think that individuals and their individual experiences still largely rule over simple statistical leanings.

i was also raised in a very tumultuous upbringing. my parents divorced when i was 7 and we moved from away. from that point, there was a number of people involved in my parents' lives. as a child, i learned from them that relationships were messy, angry, temporary, manipulative, controlling and that love was always conditionally applied.

they convinced me from an early age i wanted nothing to do with *that*.

however, in contrast to all the moving landscapes and people, step siblings, half siblings and new "flames", was one solid constant in my life:

my paternal grandparents. they were simply amazing people, committed to each other in thick and thin. when they died they'd been with each other for over 60 years, but still so in love. they held hands, admired and fussed over each other. they both loved God with all their heart, and served Him with their lives. and they served. and served. they were tireless in their devotion to one another, and especially to God.

i am sure i sound terribly biased, but frankly, what i have to say about them is a shadow of what their friends would say.

i was always very close to them -- they made the effort to drive the distance between us, and spend a lot of time together. it was my grandmother who led me to the Lord, taught me to play hymns on the piano and they both kindled my love of the bible stories that i heard from a young age. they have EVERYTHING to do with who i am today.

after i was 16 i lived with them a good part of the time, and then they lived with me the last 7 years of their life. they died almost 9 months apart -- i will always believe my grandfather just died because he couldn't live without his other half. i actually am surprised he made it as long as he did without her.

i can't imagine how different my life would be with out my grandparents' influence. but i know it'd be radically different.

 

[Ugly]

Go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is. Jimmy Carter

 

[Desdichado]

Go out on a limb. That’s where the fruit is. Jimmy Carter

His economic policies did, more or less, reduce people to foraging.

Foraging is not unlike dating. Good luck.

 

[ji]

My Mom and Dad got divorced even before i was born. So i don't remember them together. My mom was always with a different guy every other month after that. Sometimes she would take me and we would live with which ever one she was dating. It was always the same thing. The guy would do something that made her mad and she'd just up and leave.
My Dad was/is the same way. He's on his 4th marriage and this one is about to end.

I say all that to get to this. This is just how i thought things went in relationships. I went through guy after guy and as soon as he did something that made me mad, there was no discussion, that was it and i'd move on to someone else. Nobody ever told me or taught me how to buckle down when things got hard. There is some truth to what you said, people from a broken home are more likely to break at the first sign of trouble. Although I have seen it go two ways though. Some either don't want to turn out like there parents and they'll do whatever it takes to make it work and Some turn out exactly like there parents and take off when things get tough.

Chances are if you're never taught how to communicate and if you're never shown how to stick with something you'll just imitate what you've seen.

"Chances are if you're never taught how to communicate and if you're never shown how to stick with something you'll just imitate what you've seen."

i used to do that,but Jesus Changed me and told me i don't need to impress others..

i realized it when i was pulled up from death by His Spirit when no one else cared...
i didn't tell this to share my supernatural unbelievable story..but just to say that In Christ we are Free,no longer any need to imitate what society does,..its all about getting close to God from where you were,where you've been and the situation you've been in...god's Love is Real and intimate like a parent towards child
It doesn't matter to God whether you'be been smart in world or not,because He Loved us the same when we didn't care about Him or know Him..
And our new Goal in Life is to Grow to the image of Christ which doesn't have anything to do with what society thinks,its about what God thinks and His Burden(yoke) is Light.

 

[ji]

Nadia,i just wanted to share a small thing here which i forgot to mention before..

There was a woman in my local Church who used to do God's Ministry going to oppressed people and criminals.she used to travel world wide,and because she was a married woman,everybody hated her as family was a wreck because she was never home to take care of kids.
The family suffered a lot because of her absence.but she never left her zeal for missions.Most Church people labelled her wrong and considered her as a haughty hypocrite.

But i remember one day in her old age,after a long mission trip she shared her testimony in church.she said she was weary till the day was giving the testimony.she was very upset about the problems in family and situations that began to haunt her because of her absence in family.she was cats down and had no strength to even get up.
And she went to sleep and she had a vision where she saw herself resting like a baby on the chest of a giant stature with hands that had woolen hair.And that strengthened her to move forward as she realized Jesus was carrying her till then and still carried her...

When i heard that testimony(it was in early 20's) i realized God's ways we cannot Fathom...
And if He says 'He will Not Forsake,then He will not'...

After that testimony within 2-3 years she died and even in the time of troubles and sickness in her death bed she didn't take medicine.That is Faith...
i just think how she showed what she was made up of when all those who criticized, most of them take medicine now also...

God's way we don't know...so when things get tough we have to simply move on...
Because God can see the Goodness in front that we cannot...

"ori from 1984 she's been through all my deaths, births, and graduations, teen years, and even my marriage.... I used to call her my son's dad because she did all the dad things with him because she was sporty and I wasn't. She has been through my very very low times... and my happy times. I love her truly. She's my sister in Christ as well.

Shawna from 1998, I met before I married my ex-husband... we worked together, she saw me at some pretty wild times in my life, though she never partook in my wildside.. I think she sat home and prayed for my salvation... she listened to my stories and I remember thinking she only liked me so she could live vicariously through me without going to hell for it all... She is also my sister in Christ.

Looking back on it, I had some Prayer Warriors in my life and they both prayed continually for me and have said they felt highly blessed to see the ultra transformation in my life that God did."
Those are the real Christians...

 

[secularhermit]

Are people, God's people, designed to love only one person forever?

Think about how many people fall away from God.... Backslide... and there's nothing but Good in God.

People Change.... Change can happen at any time.... Are there people that are willing to Change with one another and endure hardships even when it is not easy.?

How can you tell who will stay and who will run away?

Edit: I'm looking for encouragement in humanity in general.

What has taught you normal life, on this subject?

Probably its "easy comes, easy goes" and, it eternal life has no need to be married, what are the sorts of love and "social" links there?

Much more than a brotherhood (a sisterhood)?

I gonna read it, to learn.

 

[secularhermit]

well, i think that individuals and their individual experiences still largely rule over simple statistical leanings.

i was also raised in a very tumultuous upbringing. my parents divorced when i was 7 and we moved from away. from that point, there was a number of people involved in my parents' lives. as a child, i learned from them that relationships were messy, angry, temporary, manipulative, controlling and that love was always conditionally applied.

they convinced me from an early age i wanted nothing to do with *that*.

however, in contrast to all the moving landscapes and people, step siblings, half siblings and new "flames", was one solid constant in my life:

my paternal grandparents. they were simply amazing people, committed to each other in thick and thin. when they died they'd been with each other for over 60 years, but still so in love. they held hands, admired and fussed over each other. they both loved God with all their heart, and served Him with their lives. and they served. and served. they were tireless in their devotion to one another, and especially to God.

i am sure i sound terribly biased, but frankly, what i have to say about them is a shadow of what their friends would say.

i was always very close to them -- they made the effort to drive the distance between us, and spend a lot of time together. it was my grandmother who led me to the Lord, taught me to play hymns on the piano and they both kindled my love of the bible stories that i heard from a young age. they have EVERYTHING to do with who i am today.

after i was 16 i lived with them a good part of the time, and then they lived with me the last 7 years of their life. they died almost 9 months apart -- i will always believe my grandfather just died because he couldn't live without his other half. i actually am surprised he made it as long as he did without her.

i can't imagine how different my life would be with out my grandparents' influence. but i know it'd be radically different.

Inspiring!

I wished I have seen your grands.