Please be careful that you don't bring condemnation upon Butterfly. It is true that we should believe God for healing and our words are important, especially our ability to use our tongue to hurt other people with our words. We can bring life or death to the people around us with our words. Words wound people, and I hope, Butterfly, you never feel like your faith or lack of faith determines the outcome of your mom's illness. When we are faithless, God is still faithful. He knows your pain and loneliness and will find a way to reveal Himself to you. I believe God is a God of Grace and Mercy and very little is dependent upon your efforts, faith or how many times you go to church. He loves you, even when your faith is small. He is still there. Look for Him in every situation and He will reveal Himself in surprising ways. He doesn't want to be hidden from you. He is not far from you. He's as close as the whisper of His name. He will whisper back, not in a storm or thunder or writing on your wall, but in a still small voice that is concrete for you. Many of God's people have lost a loved one or died of sickness and whether or not they claimed their healing or not, God's plan still prevailed. Our life here on earth is temporary and God loves us so much, He has numbered our days and even the hair on our heads. He is with us in the middle of every situation and has a plan for each one of us. His main plan is to bring us into relationship with Him and each other. Love on your mom, while you still have her. Her time may be now, it may be in 20 years, but God will still be God regardless of what tomorrow brings. Look for Him. He is very near you. Rest in Him. You don't have to perform a ritual, have a certain level of faith, or do anything. Just rest. You are burdened and heavy in heart, but He is strongest, when we are weak. It's not up to you. Let go of your efforts and let God comfort you. He loves you and the body of Christ loves you, too. He will shelter and guide you.