why is it, that I do not believe in God but I blame him for every misfortune.
Because of your/our Adamic nature you/we blame Him.
And the man said,
The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
(Gen 3:12) (see the blame?)
Your unbelief stems out of that blame so it keeps you 'safe' and in hiding from Him.
He really is seeking for you to come clean and confess your need of His Son's saving grace.