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M
This whole marriage-over, living on my own deal...
It's been about 3 1/2 months. For most of that, I've kind of been in survival mode- making sure that my babies are taken care of, mainly, and trying to figure out what the next step is. I can't just hide out in my apartment forever, but I also can't move forward until a lot of other things are settled, things I have no control over. It's frustrating, but at the same time, it's a bit of a relief that I can't do anything about it because I'm tired of trying to find solutions for things. I'm tired of making phone calls, meeting with people, signing things, waiting for answers...in a way, it's a little freeing to have the ball in somebody else's court for a while.
Granted, it would also be nice to have the whole thing over and done with, but for the moment, I've done all I can. Waiting kind of stinks, but it could be a lot worse.
Something I'm having trouble getting used to is the quiet at night. After the kids go to bed, the rest of my evening seems sort of surreal...I might manage to sit through part of a movie before getting restless and shutting it off. I might sit and paint for a while- the nights I can get totally absorbed in it are the easiest.
I've never lived alone before. It's...unsettling.
It's been about 3 1/2 months. For most of that, I've kind of been in survival mode- making sure that my babies are taken care of, mainly, and trying to figure out what the next step is. I can't just hide out in my apartment forever, but I also can't move forward until a lot of other things are settled, things I have no control over. It's frustrating, but at the same time, it's a bit of a relief that I can't do anything about it because I'm tired of trying to find solutions for things. I'm tired of making phone calls, meeting with people, signing things, waiting for answers...in a way, it's a little freeing to have the ball in somebody else's court for a while.
Granted, it would also be nice to have the whole thing over and done with, but for the moment, I've done all I can. Waiting kind of stinks, but it could be a lot worse.
Something I'm having trouble getting used to is the quiet at night. After the kids go to bed, the rest of my evening seems sort of surreal...I might manage to sit through part of a movie before getting restless and shutting it off. I might sit and paint for a while- the nights I can get totally absorbed in it are the easiest.
I've never lived alone before. It's...unsettling.
W
...
I want this workday to be over. I wish a cold was a good reason to stay home with a good conscience
I want this workday to be over. I wish a cold was a good reason to stay home with a good conscience
I normally use painkillers a few times a year , now I've been chewing them yesterday and today :/
They seem to have killed my fever, but do a bad job at painkilling (or maybe it'd been worse without them, who knows)
someone please unclog my head before it explodes!
M
Today's goal: survive.
You know, without throwing anything through the TV screen when my kid wants to watch Veggie Tales for the 50th time in a row.
Or wanting to jump out the window when the baby attacks my three year old and he screams like he's dying.
Or wanting to join in with any of the numerous tantrums that are thrown throughout the day.
Maybe I should just go back to bed.
You know, without throwing anything through the TV screen when my kid wants to watch Veggie Tales for the 50th time in a row.
Or wanting to jump out the window when the baby attacks my three year old and he screams like he's dying.
Or wanting to join in with any of the numerous tantrums that are thrown throughout the day.
Maybe I should just go back to bed.
