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I have soo many reasons im upset with God and my life, my family etc. I dont understand why he wants me to suffer. I dont understand why everything i work hard for he lets the devil take from me or i lose it. I am tired of hearing the excuse from christians that God didnt do it and its me or the devil.Especially when it clearly states in the bible that the devil can only do what God allows him to do. Im tired of hearing that im going through soo much in my life because i have a very high calling on my life or God is testing me. Im tired of watching the mean, wicked, evil and greedy people in life prosper. While nice good giving and compassionate people like ive always been are left for dead, or either struggling and used. Im tired of everytime i come close to God something horrible happens to me or in my life. I dont understand God. I dont understand how ive been raised a christian and in God and he can just watch me fall apart and be mistreated. I have a mother for a christian that maybe doesnt do sins such as sex, and chemical dependencies but is a user, liar manipulator, favoritism etc. And she goes to church, prays, ect. smh. I hate how, things get very hard and your being kicked around, hit rock bottom and lose everything, and heartbroke and looking at death and GOD expects you to not sin, avoid temptation, and have faith! Are you kidding me? Then when you fall or dont do what he expects because your only human and most likely devasted and miserable. He has you suffer the consequences for your sinful actions. smh. Im furious and i have had a relationship with God before off and on. I know he wants us to obey but how do you do that with certain things going on in your life thats overbearing? Then God says, HE WONT PUT SO MUCH ON YOU THAT YOU CANT BARE. I THINK THATS CRAPT. CAUSE JUST CAUSE YOU MAKE IT OUT OF IT DOESNT MEAN YOU COULD BARE IT, YOU MAY COME OUT ALL AGED AND BEAT UP PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY DAMAGED, ECT. I guess if your still breathing then you could bare it hugh? Please. If anyones reading this, you see i need prayer for salvation again because im clearly not saved anymore. Whats bad is that i am looking at death and i have to make peace with him before i die so i can get into the pearly gates. smh PLEASE PRAY FOR ME