Homosexuals attending church

[jjtj22]

​There is a couple at my church, in their sixties, they have been married about 7 years she was a widow and his wife left him many many years ago. The husband is our worship leader, the wife teaches adult bible studies. They are great people, true Christ followers. The husband had 3 sons, one passed away of cancer at age 40 leaving no children, one son has two children out of wedlock is seperated fom the children's mother and does not live the Christian walk. The middle son is the one I have a question about, he is homosexual, and him and his boyfriend have started to attend our adult Sunday school class and church. How should I respond? It is like a big pink (or rainbow) elephant in the room. How do I address that level of unrepentant sin among our church? Is it my place to address vs the pastor or elders? My biggest concern how do you love the person vs letting the children and young people of the church think the sin is condoned?


I do know the scriptures speaking on homosexuality and the stance the Bible takes on it but I do believe this is a delicate matter. Does anyone else deal with unrepentant sinners in their church? I will continue to pray on this issue and any prayers from y'all would be greatly appreciated!

 

[MissCris]

Why would it be your place to say something about it? Just wondering. It seems like if people are bothered by these men attending church as a couple this way, it should be taken to the pastor and church elders, rather than y'all taking matters into your own hands.

 

[santuzza]

There is absolutely NO reason to not allow them to attend your church. Welcome them with loving, open arms.

With that said, they cannot be allowed to become members of the church or lead in any activity (especially teaching). They should be welcome to participate, but they cannot hold membership or lead. This goes for ANY unrepentant sinners in the church. And that is how it should be presented to anyone questioning their attendance.

They need the love of Christ in order to realize their sin and turn from their wicked ways. You can't show them love and show them the path to righteousness if you kick them out! Again, this goes for ANY unrepentant sinner. It really doesn't matter which sin it is.

 

[J-Kay-2]

​There is a couple at my church, in their sixties, they have been married about 7 years she was a widow and his wife left him many many years ago. The husband is our worship leader, the wife teaches adult bible studies. They are great people, true Christ followers. The husband had 3 sons, one passed away of cancer at age 40 leaving no children, one son has two children out of wedlock is seperated fom the children's mother and does not live the Christian walk. The middle son is the one I have a question about, he is homosexual, and him and his boyfriend have started to attend our adult Sunday school class and church. How should I respond? It is like a big pink (or rainbow) elephant in the room. How do I address that level of unrepentant sin among our church? Is it my place to address vs the pastor or elders? My biggest concern how do you love the person vs letting the children and young people of the church think the sin is condoned?


I do know the scriptures speaking on homosexuality and the stance the Bible takes on it but I do believe this is a delicate matter. Does anyone else deal with unrepentant sinners in their church? I will continue to pray on this issue and any prayers from y'all would be greatly appreciated!

Are you teaching the Class they are in ? I am putting myself in your shoes.
If I were the teacher, and it became a part of the lesson, I would continue
to teach what the Bible says without making it obvious that you are directing
it at them. They would know. We need to remember they are loved by God,
but we don't condone as you said, what God despises.

I attended Church where 2 men lived together and the Pastor dealt with them.
I know most of the congregation who knew them on friendly basis.... treated
them well. The pastor asked them to live in separate apartments. Not together.
I don't think they did, but I can't say for certain. Then, I can say they attended
the Church, but sat away from one another. I don't know what became of them
but I believe they did leave the Church. Again I am not certain because I don't
attend there anymore. (not for that reason.)

It is a tough situation. because, we love the people. I had a cousin I loved so much
and he lived that lifestyle. I didn't preach to him. He knew what he was doing. I
sent a book, Max Lucado, and he thanked me. He became ill and died. I do not know
if he repented or not. He was in CA. It is so hard to stand face to face and tell
a person they are living in sin isn't it ? Yet when we think of Christ and His love for
all, but the sin He hates.... we really have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit ....pray
ask Him to let us know when it is time to deal with the topic. It is a matter of life
and death, and I will pray you get your answer. I believe when led by the Holy Spirit,
it will flow the way He moves you. God bless and prayers go up for you.

 

[jjtj22]

Thank you ladies for your replies! Would you please share your opinions on how to unrepentant sin might affect young people and children of the church?

 

[jjtj22]

Are you teaching the Class they are in ? I am putting myself in your shoes.
If I were the teacher, and it became a part of the lesson, I would continue
to teach what the Bible says without making it obvious that you are directing
it at them. They would know. We need to remember they are loved by God,
but we don't condone as you said, what God despises.

I attended Church where 2 men lived together and the Pastor dealt with them.
I know most of the congregation who knew them on friendly basis.... treated
them well. The pastor asked them to live in separate apartments. Not together.
I don't think they did, but I can't say for certain. Then, I can say they attended
the Church, but sat away from one another. I don't know what became of them
but I believe they did leave the Church. Again I am not certain because I don't
attend there anymore. (not for that reason.)

It is a tough situation. because, we love the people. I had a cousin I loved so much
and he lived that lifestyle. I didn't preach to him. He knew what he was doing. I
sent a book, Max Lucado, and he thanked me. He became ill and died. I do not know
if he repented or not. He was in CA. It is so hard to stand face to face and tell
a person they are living in sin isn't it ? Yet when we think of Christ and His love for
all, but the sin He hates.... we really have to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit ....pray
ask Him to let us know when it is time to deal with the topic. It is a matter of life
and death, and I will pray you get your answer. I believe when led by the Holy Spirit,
it will flow the way He moves you. God bless and prayers go up for you.

Thank you J-KAY for your Spirit filled testimony based on experience! Just what I needed to hear!

 

[posthuman]

visiting the doctor is an instrumental step in the sick being healed.

isn't it good that sinners hear the gospel preached and taught?

if someone that attends your church (attendance is not the same as having 'fellowship') professes faith in Christ, then they are your brother and sister, and then if they are in public, unrepentant sin, it is our obligation to gently restore them to righteousness - the same way that you would someone who is a perpetual liar, or thief, or full of covetousness or hatred. the only way that sexual sin is different from other sins is that it is a sin against a persons own body, not against another person. we shouldn't think them any more or less at fault than a gossip or a proud, boastful egoist.

anyone who is not disrupting the congregation ought to be able to come and hear the Word taught - and only those who confess Christ and so become your brother and sister are we accountable to to help them out of sin. we're by no means called to whitewash the dirty pots of the world, but to take care of our own.

 

[J-Kay-2]

Thank you ladies for your replies! Would you please share your opinions on how to unrepentant sin might affect young people and children of the church?

Oh, wow.... that is really something I had not thought about. I think
you bring out a good point. The influence is.... the young will think it
is okay and acceptable to live that way. I would be up front with my
child and tell them it is not permitted in the Kingdom of God, therefore
chose to pray with our child for the couple who are living in sin.

Today with it being acceptable in the public schools, etc.... it is not easy
being a parent. The child gets it from both sides, and it is confusing.
But If we take our Child to the Word and go into prayer as I said above,
they will know the Christian aspect of it and how God does not condone
the lifestyle.

 

[jjtj22]

isn't it good that sinners hear the gospel preached and taught?if someone that attends your church (attendance is not the same as having 'fellowship') professes faith in Christ, then they are your brother and sister, and then if they are in public, unrepentant sin, it is our obligation to gently restore them to righteousness - the same way that you would someone who is a perpetual liar, or thief, or full of covetousness or hatred.

Thank you Post, this really clears up the steps we are to take and when. God bless!

 

[ronnie2796]

Well I think she might be thinking about taking matters into her own hands because it appears that the pastors or elders aren't doing much or anything about it.
I'd say, go to a pastor or elder first,...Someone with Authority in the church. If still nothing is done, that's when you need to worry.

 

[jjtj22]

Oh, wow.... that is really something I had not thought about. I think
you bring out a good point. The influence is.... the young will think it
is okay and acceptable to live that way. I would be up front with my
child and tell them it is not permitted in the Kingdom of God, therefore
chose to pray with our child for the couple who are living in sin.

Today with it being acceptable in the public schools, etc.... it is not easy
being a parent. The child gets it from both sides, and it is confusing.
But If we take our Child to the Word and go into prayer as I said above,
they will know the Christian aspect of it and how God does not condone
the lifestyle.

Great suggestion J kay! If my kids ask anything about any type of sin they see in a person I will definitely use this technique. I LOVE hearing your opinion BTW!

Ps your avatar made me lol

 

[didymos]

​(...)How should I respond? It is like a big pink (or rainbow) elephant in the room. How do I address that level of unrepentant sin among our church? Is it my place to address vs the pastor or elders? My biggest concern how do you love the person vs letting the children and young people of the church think the sin is condoned?(...)

Just take another look around you in church: there's not just ONE elephant in the 'room,' there are many. Hey, you're elephant yourself for that matter. I mean, aren't we all sinners? However, the things we do or say are between us and our God, not for others to judge. So how do you address the 'matter?' Love is the key here, love and accept them as you would any other brother or sister in Christ (and hope and pray they will mend their ways.)

 

[jjtj22]

Well I think she might be thinking about taking matters into her own hands because it appears that the pastors or elders aren't doing much or anything about it.
I'd say, go to a pastor or elder first,...Someone with Authority in the church. If still nothing is done, that's when you need to worry.

It is one of the elders sons. A wonderful man at that.

Thank you Ronnie for your sensitivity to see that side of the issue!

 

[ronnie2796]

Addressing the more obvious problem isn't something that you can only do in a hateful or unkind way.

But other people's Elephant's are not always harmful to children, or new Christians, or people seeking truth. Fact is, yes we're all sinners, but we're not all trying to be sinners, as they are, because they are still choosing to live in sin.

She doesn't think its right for the church to condone that, and I happen to agree. They should be allowed to attend if they are really looking for God, or looking for the truth, but, certain behavior isn't acceptable, and to whatever extent that goes, it just depends on the church to decide.

Above all, love them. But protecting others also needs to be done.

 

[jjtj22]

Just take another look around you in church: there's not just ONE elephant in the 'room,' there are many. Hey, you're elephant yourself for that matter. I mean, aren't we all sinners? However, the things we do or say are between us and our God, not for others to judge. So how do you address the 'matter?' Love is the key here, love and accept them as you would any other brother or sister in Christ (and hope and pray they will mend their ways.)

Ouch, touché!

Thank you, my brother, I will get to work on that log in mine own eye!

 

[jjtj22]

Addressing the more obvious problem isn't something that you can only do in a hateful or unkind way.

But other people's Elephant's are not always harmful to children, or new Christians, or people seeking truth. Fact is, yes we're all sinners, but we're not all trying to be sinners, as they are, because they are still choosing to live in sin.

She doesn't think its right for the church to condone that, and I happen to agree. They should be allowed to attend if they are really looking for God, or looking for the truth, but, certain behavior isn't acceptable, and to whatever extent that goes, it just depends on the church to decide.

Above all, love them. But protecting others also needs to be done.

Thank you Ronnie, you have articulated my concern beautifully. I do not at all mind loving sinners, I have been a chief sinner myself, but as you state some sins can definitely make young believers stumble, especially if it is taught everywhere else as being completely okay.

 

[jogoldie]

I was not going to comment.....but here I am.....sin is sin is sin...all the same in Gods eyes....with that being said...
some sins are inward and some are out right obvious....wear em on your sleeve sin....who are we to push anyone away
from seeking God....they are reaching to Him....and we say get out... move elsewhere because your sin is in our face....
This cant be Gods way.....as for the observant children.....really ...other than showing public affection how would they know.....I want my children to know Jesu,s came for the sinners....if you donot address hard issues with our children...
sheild them for what they will face in life....what good are we doing ...we are not teaching Gods way....I want my
children prepared for what they face and how to go about it....not toss them to the wolves without preparation...and the last I heard
homosexuals are not contagious.....teach your children tolerance.....let thee without sin.....cause look on your left when you sit in church
that man or woman might have a sin in them too...are they next to be pushed out.....show Gods love......sheild them with His protection not
the sheild of ignorance.....

 

[JustAnotherUser]

I'm sorry but I have to agree, who are you to judge someone when you're not all that perfect either? Apparently, is church supposed to be for the perfect people that don't fall under temptation everyday? There's a line for tolerance as far as whether or not you agree or disagree with the lifestyle and it can be brought out that it's not acceptable, but to have people kicked out because of it is like casting a stone at them... I'm pretty sure we all know the story this is referred to on that.

But then it's wondered why homosexuals think that even if they wanted to give it a chance, the religious have to kick them around and therefore they have a whole different view on them. That's why many get drawn away. At the end of the day do what you want, but remember that you weren't exactly a perfect person when you attended church either. They obviously came for a reason.

 

[AgeofKnowledge]

"It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate: A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this?

For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh,a b so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.

Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people... not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.

What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. 'Expel the wicked person from among you.'" -1 Corinthians 5.

Beliefs | Gay Christian Movement Watch

 

[jjtj22]

Thank you so much to all who have replied. I asked for your opinions, thank you for taking the time to answer.

Not sure where people are hearing me say "kick all the homos out of church". I have reread my posts several times and I don't see it, maybe it is because I know I am not coming from that p.o.v.

Also, if you are going to exhort me to be loving, it makes your point more poignant if you deliver it in a loving manner. Just sayin.